Target Whore

78 Comments

If you want to put it a nice way that won’t embarrass my grandmother, I’m a marketer’s dream. But in reality, I’m a Target whore..

Oh, I said it. I usually walk in to this particular store with a list, but come out with 27 additional items that I don’t need. There is no logic to it; Target is my crack. I’m usually practical when it comes to shopping.  I’m a sucker for a sale, but I also buy “investment wardrobe pieces” like peep toes and suits from higher-end stores. But this store covers everything in between. It messes me up the minute I walk through the automatic doors. It actually puts me in a Target trance.

All natural linen spray for under five dollars? Do I need it? When in the heck am I going to use it? Not sure. Oh wait, there’s matching scented hand wash too? I already have soap, but it matches. And it’s cute. Why should I even bother thinking about whether I need it or not? It’s already in my cart.

If a famous designer made it for Target, if it has polka dots or bright paisleys, there’s no question. I’m talking anything from candles to colored colanders. There are rare occasions when I don’t buy it on the spot. Sometimes I’ll turn the aisle and forget about it, and remember it the next day, when I have too many conference calls and meetings to do any damage.

I can count on one hand the number of times I left Target without spending $100. I go in for shoelaces and soy milk and leave with a carton of crap that costs $97. Greek yogurt for $2.29? My mother AND grandmother would yell at me. But I’m already there, the car is parked. I have 30 minutes until I have to pick up my daughter from practice, so I might as well throw it in. I have friends who have to go on Target diets. They can’t step foot in the place. They haven’t gone in months! Months I tell you!

As I’m blazing through the aisles that are so obviously and creatively marketed-especially-for-women, what I don’t realize until it’s too late is that all of these items are going to add up. No, like some crazed mother strung out on caffeine and cotton candy-flavored jelly beans, not until I’m standing in the check-out line, shamelessly arranging my purchases and throwing a pack of gum on top (because it’s pink) that the cashier (who looks like she’s 12, because I’m 40) gives it to me straight. “That’ll be $127, ma’am.”

What the… ?

Comments

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  1. 3

    lauren scheuer says

    I had a trick that worked for a while: Handbasket only. Never a shopping cart. But with practice I learned to pack the handbasket with only smaller, lightweight unnecessary items. Larger unnecessary items I drape over my shoulders, tuck under my arms, and hang around my neck. Now the money I save at Target I spend at the Chiropractor.

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    • 4

      Jackie Hennessey says

      God bless you for sharing – unfortunately, I’ve tried this and nearly killed my shoulders because I piled too much inside the basket. Sad, I know. Am I a lost cause?

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    • 5

      Susan says

      That’s hysterical – I do the same thing. And at Bath & Body Works, I say no to the basket. If I can’t carry it in my hands, I’m buying too damn much stuff! : )

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  2. 6

    Moomser says

    I know exactly what you mean and my finances are in moderately good order only because I live in Italy, where target does not exist, and though this saddens me to no end, it also means I only go target crazy twice a year when I visit family. sigh.

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  3. 10

    Kristin says

    I feel your pain! We have a Super Target with the grocery store in it very close to our house so it is very easy to plan to stop in just for milk and come out with a new shirt, a lamp and a picture frame!

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  4. 12

    Victoria KP says

    Oh yes, this is me. On the EXTREMELY rare occasion I walk out with less than $100 in merchandise I walk away feeling oh so virtuous. Then I get home and realize I didn’t get the one thing I went in there for!

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  5. 19

    Suzie says

    Target is coming to Canada! Target is coming to Canada! I guess I should prepare myself for the impending credit card debt. I’ve been crossing the border to zombie shop on Black Friday for the past few years, Target always leaves a crater in my wallet.

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  6. 21

    Denise Dyer says

    I go in for diapers on a weekly basis, and every time I go, I hit the $50 mark. I am so good about keeping my groceries around $125 for a family of four but I can’t keep my Target expenses to just the dang diapers!

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    • 22

      Arnebya says

      THIS EXACTLY! (sorry to yell). But really, I can stay around $125 a week on food. FOOD! But let me walk into Target for Pull-Ups and wipes and I’m at $100 easily b/c now there are 3 for $5 socks and lotion, detergent, chips I thought I discerned I dislike last time I got them, paper towels, a plastic bin for who knows what, but it’s on sale and wasn’t last week. Oh, and popcorn. (The popcorn is actually a bargain compared to the grocery store). And if that $1 aisle ain’t the devil I don’t know what is. $100 minimum every. damn. time.

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      • 23

        Jackie Hennessey says

        I really think we need a Target group therapy session! They are GENIUSES with their marketing. The popcorn, the $1 bin, the adorable plastic plates. YES…$100 minimum every. damn. time.

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