Ten Commandments of Motherhood

1. Thou shalt not pee alone.

2. Thou shalt not shower uninterrupted.

3. Thou shalt not make meals that everyone loves.

4. Thou shalt not have a crumbless floor.

5. Thou shalt not step on a LEGO without swearing (at least in thy head).

6. Thou shalt not finish a phone call without thy progeny squealing in the background.

7. Thou shalt never truly “finish” the laundry.

8. Thou shalt not judge another parent without karma biting thee in the arse.

9. Thou shalt not gaze upon a sleeping child without a melting heart.

10. Thou shalt not halt the hands of time, no matter how much thou wishest to do so.