Tess Holliday's Crying Selfie Proves Moms Are Just Trying To 'Keep Their Sh*t Together'

Tess Holliday’s Crying Selfie Proves Moms Are Just Trying To ‘Keep Their Sh*t Together’

Image via Getty Images/Instagram

Tess Holliday posts honest Instagram pic that shows the difficulties of motherhood

I was never a crier — until I had kids. The tears started the day I got home from the hospital after my emergency c-section and didn’t stop for three months.

Did I have postpartum depression?  Who knows — I never reached out for help. I just assumed what I was going through was something I’d have to endure now that I was a mom. Everyone always talks about “sacrifice.” About how motherhood is the “hardest job” that you’ll love more than anything. All of those little cliche’s rushed at me like a runaway train. Now, years in, I realize all moms break down, because this is hard.

Tess Holliday shared a post on Instagram this week that contains an image probably familiar to us all: mom tears.

This is the reality of being a mom. I've been up since 3 am, & every time I get Bowie to sleep & try to lay him down, he wakes up. He is teething & has no clue I have to work today, & most days I can work 15 hour days, take care of both boys & put some lipstick on & deal with it. Most days I drink my coffee & smile at every little thing he does thinking it's the best thing in the world, but not today. I've been crying for nearly two hours, & I'm crying as I write this. I've reached my limit, exceeded it to be honest. My confidence has taken a blow with this birth & it wasn't until this morning I realized why. The pressure of "looking good" for a living is too much today. When your face is breaking out from the hormones of breastfeeding + total exhaustion from lack of sleep, bags under your eyes, patchy red skin & to top it off no energy to work out or leave my bed.. how do you do it? How do you feel confident in your skin & feel like you aren't letting the client down by showing up exhausted & disheveled? Yes, I chose a career based on my looks & I'm the first one to say that beauty isn't what should drive you, it's certainly not what motivates me. As a working mom in an industry that's as critical as mine, where is the line? The balance? The compassion? Is any career understanding when you show up at negative 10% because your kids wouldn't let you sleep & you want to hide under your covers & cry? Not many. I hope one day that changes & society views mothers as the flawed human beings we are that are just trying to keep our shit together like everyone else. #effyourbeautystandards #workingmoms #disruptperfectmomsyndrome

A post shared by Tess Holliday❣️ (@tessholliday) on

“This is the reality of being a mom, ” she writes. “I’ve been up since 3 am, & every time I get Bowie to sleep & try to lay him down, he wakes up.” Been there. Never underestimate how crippling exhaustion can be on your body and mind. We think because so many people do it, motherhood is just something we should be able to get through. So what if we haven’t slept a full night in weeks? So what if we can’t remember what it’s like to not have another human being depending on you 24/7? In reality, the demands of motherhood take a very real toll on women, and we pay for it emotionally.

“He is teething & has no clue I have to work today, & most days I can work 15 hour days, take care of both boys & put some lipstick on & deal with it. Most days I drink my coffee & smile at every little thing he does thinking it’s the best thing in the world, but not today,” Holliday confesses. “I’ve been crying for nearly two hours, & I’m crying as I write this. I’ve reached my limit, exceeded it to be honest.”

Holliday goes on to explain that motherhood has done a number on her confidence. She’s a model. She’s paid to look good. “When your face is breaking out from the hormones of breastfeeding + total exhaustion from lack of sleep, bags under your eyes, patchy red skin & to top it off no energy to work out or leave my bed.. how do you do it?”

Ok, so most of us can’t relate to letting a modeling client down, but the words still resonate. Most of us juggle jobs, kids, bills — and that’s even before we get to the demands of societal expectations of what motherhood should look like.

It’s no wonder we’re all breaking down.

“Is any career understanding when you show up at negative 10% because your kids wouldn’t let you sleep & you want to hide under your covers & cry? Not many. I hope one day that changes & society views mothers as the flawed human beings we are that are just trying to keep our shit together like everyone else.”

Amen, sister.