Thank you to the mother who makes sure her children are prompt, polite and well groomed. Unfortunately she hasn’t had time to put on makeup or wash her hair for three days.
Thank you to the mother who swears she would never rely on the TV to entertain her baby, yet somehow the only thing that soothes her daughter is watching Barney together.
Thank you to the mother who hires a sitter to watch the kids so she can sneak upstairs, take a shower and nap.
Thank you to the mother at the children’s clothing store who handed her toddler son a Motrin bottle to play with in his stroller while she made purchases and exchanges, only to have him open the bottle and spill the medicine all over himself.
Thank you to the class mother who always volunteers at school, bakes for the students and is readily available to pick up or drive someone else’s child, but her kid is the most misbehaved in class.
Thank you to the mother who keeps a stash of antibacterial wipes and Purell in her pocketbook yet she can’t stop her son from putting everything and anything in his mouth.
Thank you to the mother who teaches her kids never to swear and gets busted by her four year old for saying “Shit” on the phone.
Thank you to the mother who only serves organic food to her kids and then devours a sleeve of Oreos when nobody is looking.
Thank you to the mother who calls her pediatrician after office hours because she can’t stop obsessing whether or not her baby swallowed a marble six hours earlier.
Thank you to the mother who was so excited to take a road trip with her one year old and realized two hours later she didn’t buckle the car seat.
Thank you to the mother who completely forgot to do the laundry and had to send her daughter to school in her brother’s tighty whities.
Thank you to the mother, who never leaves home without a diaper bag, but couldn’t change her son because she forgot to restock her a change of clothes, wipes and diapers the night before.
Thank you to the mother who was too tired to brush her daughter’s hair and allows her to go to school in her pj’s. She resorts to telling a little white lie, “My daughter picked out her own clothes.”
Thank you to the mother who uses a gift card her son received for his birthday and uses it towards a mani and pedi.
Thank you to the mother who is feeling low about herself and asks her kids if they think she’s pretty. They give her a hug and ask her why her teeth are yellow.
Thank you to the mother who pretended to sleep while her husband tended to their baby in the middle of the night.
Thank you, fellow mothers, for keeping me in good company.
Also, you’re welcome.
The mother who knew she wasn’t going to win the healthy breakfast fight and drove to the store at 7am to get her 3 year old a double chocolate chip fudge muffin.