Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I’ve read it, I’ve heard it, I’ve said it myself: labor is like a marathon. I even said it a few weeks ago, to a friend who was in labor at the time. “It’s like a marathon,” I said, trying to encourage her. Except… the more I thought about it, the less true it seemed.
For one thing, I can imagine no scenario in which I would voluntarily run a marathon, ever.
So here’s the breakdown, as I see it.
Ways Labor Is Like a Marathon:
It is (often) long, and (usually) really hard work, and you might throw up.
Ways Labor Is Not Like a Marathon:
There are no distance markers.
No ribbon to run through.
Fewer cheering spectators.
Less Gatorade.
No awards for finishing fastest.
Very few people get tee shirts and/or medals commemorating the experience.
You can’t usually convince a bunch of friends to sign up to go into labor together, as a group.
Running shoes are not required.
YOU GET A BABY AT THE END.
No analogy is perfect, I guess. But I think I really am going to stop using this one.
Melissa Camara Wilkins has five kids. She drinks a lot of tea, and she writes things down. Find out more at her blog, or at Amazon.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for having me, Jill! I haven’t caught myself saying that again, yet. ;)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
Very true! Except I did have rather a lot of cheering spectators during my recent birth. Ahem. ;)
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Babies and Shopping and Sears, Oh My!
Hmm. A flaw in my logic! ;)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
Ha! I think you’ve now wiped that phrase from my vocabulary, as well!
Mamarific recently posted..Nostalgia Neurosis
It’s a weird one, isn’t it?
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
Yep, I’ve said it many times myself, but I have to agree with you here. I have a few more:
1) Labor usually takes a LOT longer than a marathon to complete.
2) Marathons typically don’t involve tons of blood. Or stirrups.
3) You can have sex right after a marathon.
:)
Great post!
Kristen Mae recently posted..Idiots With Viable Uteruses and Why I Want to Learn Korean
Thank goodness about the stirrups! ;)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
I have to say your a lucky girl if they gave you gatorade… All I got was ice chips. Other than that… I agree.
Ah, ice chips. I always feel like anything with CHIPS in the name ought to be tastier. And yet they never are.
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
Another difference: You can just decide to stop running if you don’t want to continue a marathon. You really don’t have any choice about continuing labor!
Good point! :)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
Now THAT is something to think about…
we say things that make sense to us til we tear it apart !
Guess I can clear some brain space up and delete that phrase
from the storage room !
Thanks
Siggi in Downeast Maine
siggiofmaine recently posted..3WW CCXCIX Prompts: calm know rattle
It’s like spring cleaning for our brains! I know mine is beyond cluttered… ;)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
For me, I have too much useless riff raff I’ll never use,
need room for the “good stuff” I learn now.
Getting old mentally is not an option…
need fall and spring clearing out each year.
☺♥
siggiofmaine recently posted..3WW CCXCIX Prompts: calm know rattle
Ok, but…
The distance markers are called “trimesters.”
The ribbon is called “delivery.” (There should be an actual ribbon, though.)
The spectators are called in-laws. The may or may not cheer, but they always make noise.
Husbands are in charge of getting Gatorade, chocolate, pickles, or whatever other crazy thing you might crave.
It IS true there’s no reward for finishing fastest. I’ll give you that one!
You get a WHOLE WARDROBE full of new t-shirts. They’re called “maternity clothes.”
Running shoes are optional, but high heels are certainly out.
And yes, you get a baby at the end. :)
From: Husband, baby #2, month #7 =)
Congratulations on #2! Perhaps you should get to work on that ribbon idea… :)
Melissa Camara Wilkins recently posted..in addition to spiders
A marathon would be easier I think, though I only had a few hours of labor with one of my kids and I never got to the intense part, so I can’t say I understand because I didn’t experience it.
Mercy recently posted..Having Trouble Getting Your Overtired Toddler to Bed? Try These Tips
My husband runs marathons for fun. And yes he suffers. He also gets a baby at the end, because I hand him our daughters so that they can run over through the ribbon together.
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..From my treasure box: Belgian Speculoos
Well, I’ve ran four marathons. And given birth. I have one to add to the ways running a marathon is like giving birth:
1. There is a good chance that you might shit on yourself.
I forgot to add: If you do shit on yourself, you won’t even care.
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..Your Vagina Will Never Be The Same
That made me laugh. One more reason for me not to run!
Yeah now that you put it that way, they really don’t seem that much alike. Plus who wants to hear about a marathon when they’re embarking on labour. Marathons seem like they’d be HELL! (Oh… wait…) ;)
Sarah recently posted..How to Pee in a Cup