What do you do? It’s a question asked of me at least five or six times a week. It’s small talk, I know, and an easy conversation starter at the playground. People just don’t seem to know the inner turmoil it causes in me.
My answer to that deep, dark query is usually, I’m at home with the baby for now. Or, I do graphic design while at home with the kids (um, yea… the last 3 things I designed were my children’s birth announcements and party invitations, but don’t tell.) Sometimes I’m vague. I work from home, I say, mysteriously. Or I pretend to spot one of my children tumbling from the jungle gym, and dart off to check on them, thus avoiding an answer all together.
The bottom line is that I stay at home. I am a stay at home mom. A, (God can I even type it?) housewife. A homemaker. I take care of the baby, the “big” kids, the lunches, the laundry, the grocery shopping, the dishes, the diapers, the errands, the scheduling etc.
And I love it. I love it like I’ve never loved a job before. And, admittedly, I’ve held some really cool jobs. I was an art director at a major department store where I got to direct fashion shoots with models flown in from NYC. We ate catered lunches and talked about their guest appearances on Sex in the City and Friends. I did store design for my favorite store ever, and got to dictate the entire look of the space (and get a big, fat discount to boot.) I’ve done graphic design for companies, large and small and seen my work flipping through magazines and on buses driving by. I was even, a million years ago, offered a job working for pennies for my idol.
But I don’t miss any of it. I don’t miss setting an alarm clock. I don’t miss high heels, nylons or or dry cleaning. I don’t miss collaborating with other adults or water cooler conversation. I don’t miss traffic or public transportation or conference calls. I don’t miss having a desk, an office or my own computer, free of toddler finger prints. And I really don’t miss having a boss.
Maybe someday I will open the store I dream about. Or perhaps I’ll actually utilize my four year degree in advertising. There’s time for that. But for now, I am thrilled to spend my days in pj’s getting crayon marks off the walls and eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my back yard. My co-workers are pretty damn cute, and the benefits simply can’t be beat.
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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
I miss the happy hours, lunches entertaining clients and adult talk. The work? Not.
sassy stephanie’s last blog post..WW – not the usual rocks, hot wheels, or plastic bracelets…
Great flashback.
I, too, love the job of homemaker – is has been my favorite job thus far. I do sometimes long for a little more adult conversation.
T Rex Mom’s last blog post..Friday Fashion Statement…
OK, this is making more sense. Anthropologie? Also, my favorite ever. And, I loved it way back when…..before it became the trendy force it is today. And, you did store designs? Their backdrops for merchandise are as darling as the products they sell. What I would give to get my hands on some of those vintage greeting card/octagon shaped baskets during the holidays.
Starnes Fam’s last blog post..Midwest Travel Report: Weston, Missouri
Okay – so I want your old job.
And I know exactly what you mean about the boss thing. Although I know that my stay at home mom friends have crazy days (I do see my children on the weekend and all), I still think they have the best deal in that THEY are the boss. No one tells them that they are going to have to change their schedule (they make the schedule) or sit through a performance review (although I guess that depends on your husband…) I will never have another boss. My next job will be working for myself. I decided. I just can’t do the office thing anymore…
Kate Coveny Hood’s last blog post..Please Dance Responsibly
I love this post! You DO have the best job in the world – the job I aspire to have one day :)
Cathy’s last blog post..Flashback Friday: About My Uterus
You are so RIGHT! I love being a stay at home mom. The pay isn’t great, but the rewards are enormous.
Lynn from For Love or Funny’s last blog post..Under surveillance
Are you sure you don’t miss the high heels?
The Dental Maven’s last blog post..Potty Mouth!
Jealousy ensues……from a stay-at-home-mom from the hours of 6pm to 6am. :)
Futureblackmail’s last blog post..MUST. GET. AIR.
I can absolutely relate! I used to be a workaholic as a Marketing Manager and would put in 60+ hours a week…and while the decision to exit the Corporate World and be a SAHM was a tough decision to make, it was also the best one I ever made, too. Sure, you don’t get to take vacation days or call in sick – this job is 24/7 no matter what…but so much more rewarding for sure. I sure don’t miss the suits, nylons and heels, either – now if I put those on it’s because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to. ;)
Loved this post! I feel the same way…in fact I’ve got a similar post in my drafts folder. I need to work on that!
Hope you and the kiddos have a great weekend!
christy’s last blog post..Spanx for men?
I’ve only had three other jobs in my life, two of which I wouldn’t go back to, stay at home mom or not!
Barista at a teen center, subway sandwich maker and college librarian’s assistant. I loved working at the library, and would love to go back to that one day when all these kids don’t need me to, you know, parent them.
erin’s last blog post..Anti-Fat Sentiments and Cute Videos
So nicely written! You are a fantastic mom. :) I really enjoyed being home when I was on mat leave – with my second baby, I had one year off and I loved it… grocery shopping, playing, shopping, napping, feeding my babies, crafts, outings, etc. Loved it. When I returned to work, I was sad to be leaving them, but at the same time, I didn’t mind all that much because my family was going to be doing the babysitting. (mom, mom-in-law, dad, grandmother, etc.) I do like that I get a few hours to myself at work, and get to do my hair at lunch or go shopping… at the same time, whenever I see another child/baby and I’m out without my kids – I get sad and feel super guilty! Ideally, I’d love to work 3 days a week only. But seriously, the best job in the world is that of ‘mom’ and ‘stay at home mom’, I think. It’s the most rewarding, and children are only young once! I’m glad you are enjoying it!
Also? You have had some AMAZING jobs! Wow!
Loukia’s last blog post..10 things that make me happy!
So nicely written! You are a fantastic mom. :) I really enjoyed being home when I was on mat leave – with my second baby, I had one year off and I loved it… grocery shopping, playing, shopping, napping, feeding my babies, crafts, outings, etc. Loved it. When I returned to work, I was sad to be leaving them, but at the same time, I didn’t mind all that much because my family was going to be doing the babysitting. (mom, mom-in-law, dad, grandmother, etc.) I do like that I get a few hours to myself at work, and get to do my hair at lunch or go shopping… at the same time, whenever I see another child/baby and I’m out without my kids – I get sad and feel super guilty! Ideally, I’d love to work 3 days a week only. But seriously, the best job in the world is that of ‘mom’ and ‘stay at home mom’, I think. It’s the most rewarding, and children are only young once! I’m glad you are enjoying it!
Also? You have had some AMAZING jobs! Wow!
oh
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I remember wearing the damn panty hose in the 90 degree weather with 100% humidity! Oh I so do not miss that. I will neve go back to corporate. There are days when I wake up and still feel burned out from it, even though it was 9 years ago.
I think you have a pretty damn good job now too. Love your co-workers too!
dawn’s last blog post..toasted coconut, blueberry & strawberry pie
I seriously feel like the luckiest person in the world being about to have my foot in both worlds. Working and Staying at Home. It is awesome!
jen, buried with children’s last blog post..Shhhhh…..
You know, I have a whole big opinion on this topic that won’t fit in the comment section. Bottom line: doing what makes you happy, be it at home or out of the house, is inspiring. Women who think their way is better and the “other type” are useless excuses for the feminine cause… they exist, but it’s sad. Still, I feel like when people ask me that question, I need to have an excuse for staying home. Why IS that? Why can’t we automatically feel proud of what we do?
Ryan Ashley Scott’s last blog post..FF: Handbook Junkie: Tell Me What To Do!!!
Fantastic post.
I feel the same way. I love being at home with the kids because otherwise I’d be missing all sorts of things.
However, sometimes I miss the adult interaction. I may get a job when my daughter starts school….my real dream is to be a writer and to get a book published so maybe I’d have more time to dedicate to that. Right now when I start writing a novel one of my kids usually needs something so I have to stop.
Amber’s last blog post..Parlez-Vous Francais?
This is still one of my favorites.
And I can never, ever get this stupid Mr. Linky to work.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Flashback Friday: The Window Office
Oh, little lady, enjoy! Enjoy! Those looks you get from others are looks of envy. Us housewives rock! And, we’re pretty lucky, too.
By the way, always love your writing.
Michele’s last blog post..Here Comes the Sun
Oh wow! So that explains your fantastic creativity! What an amazing career to look back on.
I think it’s great to have life with both wonderful accomplishments – a success career AND fulfilling motherhood. Very few people get to have that.
Robin’s last blog post..The Spin Cycle: The Date From Hell
I love flashback friday!
E’s last blog post..Flashback Friday – Family Vacation continued
I can’t wait to have your job. ;-)
I didn’t have a “flashy” job like you did and hated every minute I worked, but I get what you mean. There’s a different feeling of accomplishment, especially with a resume like yours, that isn’t so pervasive in the world of SAHMs. With a job you can say “This is what I do” and the proof/explanation of it is nice and tidy – maybe even shiny. With kids, you say, essentially, “Those small people are the product of all my blood, sweat and tears, literally” and someone follows your loving gaze around the playground to find them only to discover a lunch stained, playground dirt mess crying about something his sister did. It’s just not the same HAHA!
They were some cool jobs, but I was always a pretty shitty employee. I just hate answering to anyone, and I’m really bad at it. That’s probably why I love blogging so much- it’s all about ME. :)
Ryan Ashley Scott, I think my embarrassment is related to my overpriced degree- I just feel like I should be using that, you know? But I do feel like this is the most important job in the world and nothing to be ashamed of. I’d be miserable heading to an office everyday and feel so lucky that I don’t need to, at least for the moment. Not that I could make enough to cover daycare anyway…
Scary Mommy’s last blog post..The Best Job I’ve Ever Had
I think it’s awesome that you can stay at home with your kiddos. You can always use your degree later in life. And even though I enjoy working, I sometimes wish I could stay home with my daughter. It would be really nice (although challenging!).
Kelly Deneen’s last blog post..Photostory Friday: Bedtime Books
great post, i feel this same way :) i remember avoiding the question “what do you do?” now i love it!
Lizzie’s last blog post..The Tank Top Photo Shoot
I miss interacting with other intelligent adults on a daily basis…oh sure, I interact with adults daily now – but ….ya know.
nylons??? {shudder}
swirl girl’s last blog post..The One In Which She is Real
I always say “I Do Not Work” – b/c frankly I don’t give a whatever what people think!
And I DO MISS the money from my paycheck – I miss MY money – having my very own money!!
I wish I could stay home. But, I make quite a bit more than the hubby. We are ok, as long as we budget, but not much to play with. But, my dream job would be to stay home and keep this place in tiptop shape and manage my little monkey instead of him being put in storage (daycare).
Ah, I can Dream! :)
Brandy’s last blog post..What a long weekend! (and too short too)
I don’t miss working per se, but I do miss the sense of purpose, of direction I had when I was a translator. But then, that was my dream job.
Other than that, no, I’m happy being home. But I’m not really a housewife, just a stay-at-home-mom.
Elisa’s last blog post..A room of my own
I have exactly the same feeling! When my kids all go to school, I would like to work part time as a teacher just to see the occasional adult, but this definitely is the best job I ever had.
Mwa’s last blog post..Growing up too fast
My wife and I are in advertising as well. My wife works from home, but mostly she is a stay at home mom. I hate that there is a stigma attached to that. I run, run, run as fast as I can to get to work. Not because I don’t love my children, but because staying at home with the kids is hard damn work. My job is so easy compared to that. So no one should apologize for it.
Another great post. I’m actually trying to make it as a stay-at-home dad, with two little ones at home myself. It’s not easy doing both, but I have to say it’s given me a tremendous amount of respect for those that give up the job and basically run the house full time. There’s always so much to do!
Mariano’s last blog post..Announcing: The Web and You Meetup in Central Jersey!
There are some SAHMs that used to make me feel guilty for working full-time, but don’t worry.. you don’t. It makes me smile that I get to work from home now. Programming in my little office in the garage 8 hours a day… My kids are older now and know where to find me when they need me. So I am available to bandage up that knee or help them hunt down the dogs if they get out of the yard… And they don’t need a babysitter anymore.. just someone to reel them in once in a while and make sure they don’t spend their day in front of the tv. I enjoy it when they curl up on the couch in my office and read a book while I work. We also get together for a morning meeting every day to talk about what they’ll be up to. It is nice to be home!
Val’s last blog post..Potty training bribes for the traveling child
This is a topic I see so often in the blogosphere, women agonizing over the whole SAHM/ WAHM/ WOHM choices…but never have I read a post that was so grounded. You are very genuine in your words, happy with your choices and it is so very, very refreshing!
I attended a high school reunion a couple of months ago, and that was one thing that I grappled with. Most of my classmates, and one of my best friends, were total over achievers… many lawyers, investment bankers, in academics, entrepreneurs…I was so anxious about what to say when people asked, since I made the decision to stay home with the kids 4 years ago. I have done some scientific consulting in the last year, they’ve been small, concrete projects just to keep my foot in the door of industry. So I did mention that I was a part-time scientific consultant, but mostly SAHM while the kids were young… my friend said it sounded just perfect. As did my classmates, they thought it was perfect.
Maybe I need to listen to my friends more :).
LOVE Anthropologie, they just opened up their first store out of the U.S. here a couple of months ago and I was SOOOOO there (well, at least until I had to rush off to pick up the girlie :).
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Living the dream
I LOVE working. I love my job, I love getting dressed up and having lunch with grown ups…I love presenting something to the room full of people and feeling the THAT rush. But I also think that it’s because my daughter is 10 months old and both of us have 3 second attention span and zero patience. I’ve never been a baby person and non communication thing is making me seriously challenged as a parent. But all of this is starting to change. I can see that when she gets older and stops shuffling around and drooling, I will be hysterical at work thinking about all the imaginative, amazing, pure kid like things I am not there to see. That day will come. For now, I “fly” home from work after my job “rush”.
Ilona Siller’s last blog post..TOP 10 REASONS WHY BEING AN OLDER MOTHER KICKS ASS
I love that you wrote about this. Because I want to stay home with our children, when we have them. Partly because I worked at daycares for too many years to not learn the most valuable lesson: There are some very awesome teachers at daycares…and there are some I wouldn’t want around my kids for 10 minutes. The other part of it? I want to be a mama. A stay at home mama. My very professional mother who was horrified to discover her pregnancy with me and refused to let me “interrupt” her career goals is so unhappy with my interest. Once upon a time I wanted to work outside the home..and I still do, kind of. I mean, I have career goals..but they pale in comparison to the biggest most important thing in my life which when we have our first child, will be raising our kids to be happy, healthy adults. And I am so tired of the shame that is forced upon stay at home parents. I spent my entire life wanting to grow up and be a mama. And now I’m supposed to apologize for it? Thank you so much for writing about this. ~Susan
.-= Susan (woo222)´s last blog ..Simple Earth =-.