What do you do? It’s a question asked of me at least five or six times a week. It’s small talk, I know, and an easy conversation starter at the playground. People just don’t seem to know the inner turmoil it causes in me.
My answer to that deep, dark query is usually, I’m at home with the baby for now. Or, I do graphic design while at home with the kids (um, yea… the last 3 things I designed were my children’s birth announcements and party invitations, but don’t tell.) Sometimes I’m vague. I work from home, I say, mysteriously. Or I pretend to spot one of my children tumbling from the jungle gym, and dart off to check on them, thus avoiding an answer all together.
The bottom line is that I stay at home. I am a stay at home mom. A, (God can I even type it?) housewife. A homemaker. I take care of the baby, the “big” kids, the lunches, the laundry, the grocery shopping, the dishes, the diapers, the errands, the scheduling etc.
And I love it. I love it like I’ve never loved a job before. And, admittedly, I’ve held some really cool jobs. I was an art director at a major department store where I got to direct fashion shoots with models flown in from NYC. We ate catered lunches and talked about their guest appearances on Sex in the City and Friends. I did store design for my favorite store ever, and got to dictate the entire look of the space (and get a big, fat discount to boot.) I’ve done graphic design for companies, large and small and seen my work flipping through magazines and on buses driving by. I was even, a million years ago, offered a job working for pennies for my idol.
But I don’t miss any of it. I don’t miss setting an alarm clock. I don’t miss high heels, nylons or or dry cleaning. I don’t miss collaborating with other adults or water cooler conversation. I don’t miss traffic or public transportation or conference calls. I don’t miss having a desk, an office or my own computer, free of toddler finger prints. And I really don’t miss having a boss.
Maybe someday I will open the store I dream about. Or perhaps I’ll actually utilize my four year degree in advertising. There’s time for that. But for now, I am thrilled to spend my days in pj’s getting crayon marks off the walls and eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my back yard. My co-workers are pretty damn cute, and the benefits simply can’t be beat.
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I don’t miss working per se, but I do miss the sense of purpose, of direction I had when I was a translator. But then, that was my dream job.
Other than that, no, I’m happy being home. But I’m not really a housewife, just a stay-at-home-mom.
Elisa’s last blog post..A room of my own
I have exactly the same feeling! When my kids all go to school, I would like to work part time as a teacher just to see the occasional adult, but this definitely is the best job I ever had.
Mwa’s last blog post..Growing up too fast
My wife and I are in advertising as well. My wife works from home, but mostly she is a stay at home mom. I hate that there is a stigma attached to that. I run, run, run as fast as I can to get to work. Not because I don’t love my children, but because staying at home with the kids is hard damn work. My job is so easy compared to that. So no one should apologize for it.
Another great post. I’m actually trying to make it as a stay-at-home dad, with two little ones at home myself. It’s not easy doing both, but I have to say it’s given me a tremendous amount of respect for those that give up the job and basically run the house full time. There’s always so much to do!
Mariano’s last blog post..Announcing: The Web and You Meetup in Central Jersey!
There are some SAHMs that used to make me feel guilty for working full-time, but don’t worry.. you don’t. It makes me smile that I get to work from home now. Programming in my little office in the garage 8 hours a day… My kids are older now and know where to find me when they need me. So I am available to bandage up that knee or help them hunt down the dogs if they get out of the yard… And they don’t need a babysitter anymore.. just someone to reel them in once in a while and make sure they don’t spend their day in front of the tv. I enjoy it when they curl up on the couch in my office and read a book while I work. We also get together for a morning meeting every day to talk about what they’ll be up to. It is nice to be home!
Val’s last blog post..Potty training bribes for the traveling child
This is a topic I see so often in the blogosphere, women agonizing over the whole SAHM/ WAHM/ WOHM choices…but never have I read a post that was so grounded. You are very genuine in your words, happy with your choices and it is so very, very refreshing!
I attended a high school reunion a couple of months ago, and that was one thing that I grappled with. Most of my classmates, and one of my best friends, were total over achievers… many lawyers, investment bankers, in academics, entrepreneurs…I was so anxious about what to say when people asked, since I made the decision to stay home with the kids 4 years ago. I have done some scientific consulting in the last year, they’ve been small, concrete projects just to keep my foot in the door of industry. So I did mention that I was a part-time scientific consultant, but mostly SAHM while the kids were young… my friend said it sounded just perfect. As did my classmates, they thought it was perfect.
Maybe I need to listen to my friends more :).
LOVE Anthropologie, they just opened up their first store out of the U.S. here a couple of months ago and I was SOOOOO there (well, at least until I had to rush off to pick up the girlie :).
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Living the dream
I LOVE working. I love my job, I love getting dressed up and having lunch with grown ups…I love presenting something to the room full of people and feeling the THAT rush. But I also think that it’s because my daughter is 10 months old and both of us have 3 second attention span and zero patience. I’ve never been a baby person and non communication thing is making me seriously challenged as a parent. But all of this is starting to change. I can see that when she gets older and stops shuffling around and drooling, I will be hysterical at work thinking about all the imaginative, amazing, pure kid like things I am not there to see. That day will come. For now, I “fly” home from work after my job “rush”.
Ilona Siller’s last blog post..TOP 10 REASONS WHY BEING AN OLDER MOTHER KICKS ASS
I love that you wrote about this. Because I want to stay home with our children, when we have them. Partly because I worked at daycares for too many years to not learn the most valuable lesson: There are some very awesome teachers at daycares…and there are some I wouldn’t want around my kids for 10 minutes. The other part of it? I want to be a mama. A stay at home mama. My very professional mother who was horrified to discover her pregnancy with me and refused to let me “interrupt” her career goals is so unhappy with my interest. Once upon a time I wanted to work outside the home..and I still do, kind of. I mean, I have career goals..but they pale in comparison to the biggest most important thing in my life which when we have our first child, will be raising our kids to be happy, healthy adults. And I am so tired of the shame that is forced upon stay at home parents. I spent my entire life wanting to grow up and be a mama. And now I’m supposed to apologize for it? Thank you so much for writing about this. ~Susan
.-= Susan (woo222)´s last blog ..Simple Earth =-.
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