From the moment Jeff proposed, surrounded by rose petals and ivory candles, my mind began dancing with wedding plans. The location, the favors, the menus, the guest list… And the registry. Oh, the registry. Does it get any better than walking around your favorite stores with a scan gun picking out gifts that you are sure to receive? I think not. It was heavenly.
One of the downsides of getting married so young was that we were naive and impressionable. I let his family talk me into registering for fine china and crystal, only to sell it all a few years later when I realized that I was never, ever, going to allow anybody to eat food off of a hundred and fifty dollar plate. I registered for overpriced towels that were no better than their cousins at the discount stores and stemware that required far too much polishing for my lifestyle.
If I had it to do all over again, older and wiser, I’d do the gift part entirely differently. The following is what I wish I’d received, and also a guide for the next time you all want to lavish me with expensive gifts. You’re welcome for making it so easy…
1. Luggage: I’m still packing in the same Eddie Bauer duffel that my mom bought me in college. It would be really nice to have a matching set, and I can’t imagine spending the money now.
3. A Beautiful Bowl: One of my favorite gifts was a glass bowl (that I didn’t register for) from Simon Pearce. I use it for everything from potpourri and sea glass to parfaits and dips. It dresses everything up and makes the simplest trifle look like an elegant treat. I use it more than any other gift.
3. A Tool Kit: Romantic? No. But it would be wonderful to have an electric drill, sets of nails and screws is every size and all of the necessities in one easy to carry case. Perhaps with my new monogram.
4. A Wedding Print: Nine years later, and I still haven’t gotten around to doing anything with my photos other than sticking a few in cheap frames. I would have loved a gift certificate to get my favorites blown up or printed on canvas. I also think the idea of matting and framing the wedding invitation is a beautiful one.
5. Bedding: I can’t get myself to spend real money on nice bedding, but if someone gifted me with it, I’d go to bed singing their praises every night before bed. I’d also really love a cashmere throw.
6. Membership to a Flower of the Month Club: How wonderful would it be to receive a beautiful arrangement of flowers every month for a year after your wedding? I would have adored this. There are also steak clubs or fruit/vegetable memberships that would have been a highlight of every month.
7. A Picnic Basket: I love the idea of getting a basket filled with all the necessities for a romantic lunch on the go. Several years ago, I put one together for my college roommate and her new husband. He opened the gift while his wife was at work and proceeded to put away the cloth napkins, plates and glasses in their kitchen, utterly confused by the gift and not realizing that they were meant to stay in the basket. I still stand by the idea and would love to have one now for family picnics.
8. A Cuisinart: I have no idea why I never registered for this staple, but I bought one for myself last year and it changed my life. I love it.
9. Cooking Classes: Perhaps if we had been gifted with these, Jeff would not have presented me with granola coated chicken he first marinated in Italian dressing. (No, I’m not kidding. I still gag when I recall that meal.)
10. Honeymoon Goodies: My honeymoon in Tahiti was incredible. Perfection. A few things that would have made it even better? A throw-away camera, extra cash, some books or magazines and granola bars. A carry-on containing these would have been appreciated every single day of the trip. A nice dinner at the hotel or a fancy breakfast in bed would have been equally as nice.
What about you— What was your favorite gift? What do you wish you’d asked for? {And what should I get our friends Colby and Eric in two weeks?!}
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
if I were to do it all over again I would love money or gift cards. I mean seriously those are the perfect gifts for newlyweds. yeah we were broke when we got married and needed certain things to start our home; money or gift cards would have filled that nicely.
dawn´s last blog ..banana-coconut cheesecake bars w/ rum soaked cherries
[Reply]
This is a fantastic list! I would have also wanted super high-thread-count sheets! :)
Too bad I can’t register this time around… or can I? I haven’t decided if it’s appropriate yet.
Jasie VanGesen´s last blog ..I dream quite vividly.
[Reply]
Anybody who says cold hard cash is inappropriate has never received the most hideous multicolor cookie jar in the world – I’m talking to YOU Aunt Hilda!
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Why Are You Talking to Me?
[Reply]
I forgot to mention that the hideous multi-color cookie was shaped like a bloated fish.
Money, I’m telling you.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Why Are You Talking to Me?
[Reply]
I didn’t find the whole registry process as fun as I imagined I would. Too many decisions. We got married in Texas, but lived in Boston so we returned every single gift we received, got the credit, and bought what we really wanted. I’ve since given everything we did buy away, and can’t remember much of what we got.
Bruce´s last blog ..Is It A Baby Walker or A Rolling Disaster?
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 12th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
My husband hated the process, but I loved it. I did the store credit thing a little too. Having big, fat gift cards to spend was tons-o-fun!
[Reply]
I have some Aunt Hilda’s too. I can’t tell you how many odd planters and vases we got. I kept looking inside for money. Sigh.
And, I loved cash too, but it certainly wasn’t memorable. I can’t recall a single thing I purchased with wedding money– I think most of it went to Chinese takeout and heating bills.
[Reply]
That luggage is a great idea!
I think I liked the cutlery I got from my grandmother best. We use it every day, and she is gone now.
The worst presents were definitely the sets of crystal glasses we got from so many people. They were all sets of two or four, and none of them match. Why??? I got one set from a woman who was angry with us for having a wedding list, because apparently it’s impolite to ask for gifts. We have not yet used her glasses.
Mwa´s last blog ..Goin’ down to lonesome town
[Reply]
Mwa – Was there some reason she felt this way, or just in general? That confuses me! Some people…
Jasie VanGesen´s last blog ..I have a question. I need an answer.
[Reply]
Ooh I visited the Simon Pearce glass studio in Vermont and it was amazing! You are a lucky girl to have some!
My best gift? Scottish crystal wine glasses from Matt’s mum. We use them all the time…what I wish I’d asked for? Gifts to be sent to my house instead of brought to the wedding. We were married in Wales, and had to lug and ship all our gifts home to Virginia!
Great post Jill – totally loved it!
christy´s last blog ..This is the true story of our dinner last night
[Reply]
Well, I LOVED the 5 crockpots that we got. And the enormous collection of bread baskets.
Really?
I can tell you what our worst gift was. One family gifted us a ceramic picture frame. Hand painted. By a kid, maybe. It was hideously ugly. When we returned it a week or two after the wedding, we got a whopping $4 for it.
We didn’t even get one toaster, and I was kind of counting on a new toaster. Same with a microwave. All in all, my wedding guests did a horrible job. I blame it on Target and Bed Bath and Beyond NOT having their gift registry systems up and running back in the stone ages when I got married. Seriously, it was the 90s.
In the end my favorite gifts were the ones that came in the little cards: Cold, hard cash, baby.
Lolli´s last blog ..What’s For Dinner? (a Giveaway)
Twitter: 1momof5
[Reply]
My two favorite gifts:
1) a cookbook typed up by my Martha Stewart-esque cousin with all the family favorite recipes.
2) a longaberger basket filled with pampered chef utensils.
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I love, love, love the cookbook idea. Especially now that it’s so easy to put beautiful books together. I would have treasured that gift!
[Reply]
Cooking classes are such a great idea. They should be part of every dowry!
Marinka´s last blog ..Vacation Math Redux. To the Second Higher Power
Twitter: MarinkaNYC
[Reply]
Gifts I always give: luggage, tool kit with electric drill, really nice sheets, Tiffany punch bowl set. You should have invited me to your wedding, see?
I have two deluxe picnic baskets that have never been used…the idea is romantic – but not practical in any way shape or form.
I got an orchid of the month club subscription many years ago. Some of them are still with me ! Great gift idea!
SWIRL GIRL´s last blog ..Imagination Station
Twitter: swirlgirlspearl
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Damn. I wish I’d known you 10 years ago!
And I feel like I’d use a picnic basket all the time– we’re always eating at the pool or park and packing in grocery bags.
[Reply]
Great post! I didn’t even think about selling all our fine china… great idea! In 5 years, we have used it once. That’s it. How annoying. I could totally buy a new LV if I sold that stuff… OMG.. you have just given me the greastest idea EVER! I’m so excited! I’m soooo selling my good china for a new purse!!!! THANK YOU JILL!
The best gift I received that was not money (I’m Greek, so is hubs, so we got mostly money at our big fat Greek wedding, with the exception of maybe 5 presents – all the ‘gifts’ were given to me at the shower!) My one high school friend gave us 3 boxes of beautiful Christmas ornaments from a Christmas store that I totally loved. What a great idea! You don’t realize how expensive it is to decorate your first tree, you know? And we lucked out, having all these nice ornaments to start with. Something I’d never think of putting on the registry!
Loukia´s last blog ..Photo shoot!
Twitter: MrsLoulou
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:14 am
I made a killing selling my china. We paid our rent for several months with it!
And the ornaments are a fantastic idea. Love it!
[Reply]
I agree that money isn’t memorable and far to easy to squander on regular bills and equally forgettable things. I think that the best thing is a gift card for a specific store. If you know that they are in need of something in particular (sheets/towels, dishes, appliances, etc.) go to a store that specializes in that thing (a national one if they are in a different city) and get them a gift card so that they can get what they need and what suits their taste. If they end up with something they really like, it’ll be with them for years and they’ll remember who made it possible.
Kat´s last blog ..My very first entry
Twitter: kathym425
[Reply]
Bedding… Oh, bedding! How I wish for some beautiful bedding to make our room more relaxing and beautiful. However, every time I price it – I can’t imagine spending that kind of money on our room. Maybe one day I will splurge.
And – your flower suggestion surprised me… While I love the idea (and my 3.33 bouquet I get from Publix) – I thought you hated spending money on flowers… Of course, if it was a wedding gift it wouldn’t be your money.
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:15 am
I HATE when Jeff wastes money on flowers for me, but to get a free bouquet every month rather than a few overpriced glasses? Works for me. :)
[Reply]
I love your comments about the china. I did the same thing and registered for a set of china that I have used once. Don’t want it to get broken, and can’t put it in the dishwasher, so until the kids are grown, can’t imagine taking it out from its display in the china cabinet.
My fav wedding gift was a set of expensive pots from my aunt, and a ‘joy of cooking’ cookbook from my mother. This cookbook has EVERYTHING you could ever want to make in it, including every sauce, biscuit, cookie, main course etc. And to prove it, I can tell you that I even found a page that explains how to properly cut up a turtle..A TURTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly Smith´s last blog ..Two words-corneal abrasion
[Reply]
Interesting list. I see a few things on there that I wouldn’t mind receiving either.
Maybe I should ask the two people who came to our wedding and stiffed us with no gifts to finally pay up with a couple of them :)
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..A Few Good Moms
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Seriously. We had at least 5 people who I’m still waiting for a gift from.
[Reply]
I used all the cash I got to buy expensive nice bedding I’d never buy myself. Of course, it was thrown out with the cheating ex….but it was still a good choice at the time, LOL!
[Reply]
I’m kind of obsessed with fine china – so I actually love our plates (also our silver). No, we don’t use it very often (or maybe ever), but once the kids are older we will. And I will happily hand wash it all myself, shrieking in fear when I see anyone make a move that could be interpreted as reaching for a plate. But I didn’t bother with crystal. It’s not my favorite and I figured it would all get broken early on. Expensive towels are also a waste (at least for us) – but bedding is another story. Soft sheets are one of my favorite luxuries. Luckily, my mom carries Pinecone Hill bedding in her shop – so I have great sheets!
Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Sound Byte: And I Was Actually Serious When I Said It…
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:47 am
I adore Pinecone Hill, lucky girl.
[Reply]
I like the idea of pricey bedding. My husband and I have been married almost 10 years and just now bought a nice king sized bed and spent some money on sheets and a lovely bedding ensemble. It’s heavenly. I love it. Worth every penny.
And, for many…..nice bedding can encourage lots of time in bed….hence the start of a family. Makes sense to me!
Starnes Fam´s last blog ..Saying Goodbye To Summer
[Reply]
The best gift I receive for my wedding was from my company de Groots Media. I receive a Universal Gift Certificate to the value of $200 to use on http://www.bestgiftcertificates.com.au. I used this to enjoy two wonderful days out with my new husband at the restaurants China Doll, Sydney and Zaffraan, Sydney. We had a meal out on two different days and it really was nice to get something that I wanted to do that I would never have spend the cash on. :)
[Reply]
This is a great list – its true that we don’t think about all the practical things that we will actually use after the wedding. I have fine china that has never even been touched in 9 years – its a shame really. I think my favorite gift was my Kitchenaid mixer – its one of the few gifts and appliances that I have used hundreds of times, and it still looks and works like new.
Maria @BOREDmommy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – PUZZLE
Twitter: Boredmommy
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 7:16 am
I still don’t have a mixer, but I’d love one!
[Reply]
I really could of used some luggage. I am still using the same old Walmart ones from high school. Really loved this post :)
Kelly´s last blog ..Here’s a thought far ya…….
[Reply]
I loved my “casual” dinnerware pieces that we got. Now, half broken and not so cute.
angie´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday-THE POOL
Twitter: 7clowncircus
[Reply]
HOLY ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Just go look at my post today. This is the SECOND time you and I have written about the exact same thing on the exact same day!! (remember the giving up the paci post?) We must be soul sisters! :)
McMommy´s last blog ..Two of the Best Wedding Gifts Ever.
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
OK, that’s just plain freaky. Especially since we both went on and on about luggage! And I almost wrote about the wine idea too– so glad I didn’t. CRAZY!
Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Best Wedding Gifts I Never Got
[Reply]
I LOVE, DOUBLE HEART Simon Pearce. My sis in law turned me onto that store in NYC. The best part is that you can go to their big sale and find their not so perfect glass (no one would notice) at an incredible discount! I love the idea of the wedding photo framing gift, I will have to use that one next time!
JOdi´s last blog ..My First Canning Experience!
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Ohhhh, I had no idea they did that! I may have to plan a trip for that.
Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Best Wedding Gifts I Never Got
[Reply]
Our best gift is a kitchen-aid mixer. No one bought it for us but we returned all the “little” gifts for credit and exchanged them for the mixer. I LOVE it and use it at least twice a week.
As for the crystal and china I have yet to use it. However, I would NEVER buy it on my own and I feel better knowing that it is waiting for the day that my fairy godmother comes and turns me into Martha Stewart. How else would I host a dinner party for 12????
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
My mom gave me her set of 12 piece Droll dinnerware which I love. So, I’m all set to be Martha in an instant. :)
[Reply]
you need to send this into a wedding site b/c every bride should read about it. It is gift registry 101.
Twitter: buriedwithkids
[Reply]
Love this post. Totally makes sense. When I married the first time at age 21, I also registered for china and crystal and silver. The best gifts I got were little Corning Ware dishes that I still use. When I married the RIGHT man 7 years ago, we didn’t register for a single thing. I mean, we really had most of what we needed. But we still got lots of gifts. Two favorites were a set of king size sheets and a really cool scrapbook for our honeymoon. This scrapbook cost more than I would have spent, but I love it.
Teri´s last blog ..Hi From The Road
[Reply]
This is such a wonderful list, I love every single idea! I think the picnic set and the Flower of the Month are my favorites, but probably if I didn’t cook, the cooking classes would be on the first spot :-)
[Reply]
I love the tool kit idea!
Mama Zen´s last blog ..Your Side Of The Bed
[Reply]
It seems like you’ve got a pretty good list there. I knew I would be getting family china and silver (not that my practical side would have let me register for it anyway – because, surprise, I’ve never used it) but we registered for simple, sturdy stoneware and flatware. I have a friend who has her fancy china and Waterford crystal (Ok, she IS Irish so Waterford is almost a requirement on a bridal registry) in a cabinet and is still eating with a mishmash of dishes and cheap utensils – 8 years after her wedding. So, 9 years later and I’m always happy for the everyday stuff and place settings for 12! (although I’m more than bored with the look of it! HAHA!)
[Reply]
I was really glad I didn’t get married until the ripe old age of 26 :) Ok, not old, but it did give me a chance to learn from a few friends who were married before us. We didn’t like the pressure we felt to spend, spend, spend for every wedding we were invited to (shower gift, bachelor/bachelorette party AND wedding gift) so we did our best to completely de-emphasize gift giving at our wedding. We did register, but didn’t advertise it by sending out those little cards. We have several friends who were struggling financially and we encouraged them not to give us gifts (same with our attendents who had to spend money on dresses, suits, etc.) We didn’t spend a lot on our small, intimate wedding so we weren’t trying to re-cuperate any costs.
Of course, we got some great gifts anyway. One of my favorites (seriously!) was an obviously re-gifted candle holder/candle set from party lite that gives off a nice, soft glow. We only got one Aunt Hilda gift, which was so ugly that I took a picture of it before dropping it off at Goodwill!!! We put the $ from checks we received into our account and used it throughout our first year of marriage to buy any home items we decided we wanted including artwork, a new couch, etc. I’m totally happy with the way it turned out.
[Reply]
i know the best gift for your wedding Deruta ceramics,Italian hand painted are good at your new home…
[Reply]
Scary Mommy Reply:
August 13th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Snort. That was subtle.
[Reply]
I completely agree with you on the luggage (well, you AND Mcmommy! HA!)
The picnic basket, not so much. I sold ours at a garage sale.
We were young when we got married and I was pretty clueless. Although we have used our china on occasion since it’s not THAT ‘fine’ and I didn’t register for crystal or any of that. One of my very favorite gifts that we use ALL THE TIME is a veggie/rice steamer and we still use the almost 10 yr. old one!
And a hand painted vase that a friend of ours made at one of those ‘paint your own pottery’ places that I use every year on our anniversary and Valentine’s for flowers.
Elaine´s last blog ..You Capture – Motion
[Reply]
I have to say, I think this list is genius. And I’m feeling more than a little proud of myself because my wedding gift of choice lately, has been a Simon Pearce bowl. Style and shape to be determined by my impression of the giftees. Still…
And okay, since I’m apparently all about patting myself on the back today, we actually registered at LL Bean for camping stuff. It’s awesome. Of course, we live in New York City and have a two year old now so we, like, never set foot in the forest. But still, it’s there and ready for us when we’re itchin’ to pee in the woods.
Oh and a really good colander. Yeah, that’s worth it.
[Reply]
My husband and I come from high class. Oh man so high class. Like prison and trailer parks and such high class. When we got hitched at barely 20 & 22 (to escape our certain dirty diaper, Pall Mall, lost a finger at the mill, doom) a couple of the fabulous gifts we received were:
- a box full of dollar store kitchen gadgets
- 2 broken toasters (one had crumbs in it)
- crochet blanket with gaping holes in it. GAPING.
BUT there must have been some class there because our 2 favorite gifts that we have used Every Single Day for the last 16 years are:
- a crumb box (a slotted box to cut your bread on that came WITH a knife. BONUS!) I had never in my life even seen one of these things and I LOVE it. I can’t properly express my love for this contraption.
- Betty Crocker cook book. Seriously. The red one. I use it every day. I only started cooking about 5 years ago. Until then the only things that came out edible were from that red book. Love it.
But luggage. Oh how handy that would have or would still come in handy. And pretty luggage. Not the green Costco crap that everyone has.
Great list!
AmyAnne´s last blog ..I’m Serious. Mostly.
[Reply]
We did the destination wedding thing with just a few family and friends so we really de-emphasized the gifts since we didn’t invite most people and those we did spent a buttload of money to come see us get married. So we didn’t register. While I wouldn’t change the wedding, I wish I hadn’t made such a fuss about no gifts. What the sam hill was I thinking?
Cara´s last blog ..Every Day
Twitter: Carabee
[Reply]
Wow. That list is terrific. I did pretty good on my registry, just the basics. I went wrong with the whole household decor, though. I’ve since given away the Asian inspired paper lantern lights and wooden vases (they don’t go anymore). And I often wonder when the next time will be that I actually use all 12 of my champagne, steiner, red, AND white wine glasses. But it’s nice to have a choice.
What I wish I’d really registered for is money for the honeymoon. We’re still paying that shit off!
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile´s last blog ..Sleeping in the middle of the bed is 2/3 bullshit
Twitter: tisworthwhile
[Reply]
Do you believe that I didn’t have a wedding? I didn’t. So I felt guilty about registering. I did register at Wallmart before my shower. Yep. Wallmart. And I made sure that nothing was more than $20. I am such a wierdo. One of my Aunts came to my shower. She gave me $200 in cash and told me that I should have registered for some nice things because I was worth it : ). So, if anyone ever asks me, and I am not sure they will : ) what they should register for, I would say put a few things that are very nice and very special on your list because YOU are very special : ).
Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..My Mom and Car accidents
[Reply]
The best gift we got was MONEY. I was able to buy all the stuff we REALLY wanted but no one got for us.
And, the worst gift? Well, let me put it to you this way: We got both a down comforter and a down featherbed. I have never sweat so much in my whole life. And we lived in Wisconsin!
Texan Mama´s last blog ..The 5 Senses of my Childhood
[Reply]
Jill – I love this post!!! what great gift ideas…I passed this along to my friend who’s newly engaged to give her ideas. The ’shot out’ to Colby was very cute! So glad you finally got your kitchen aide mixer from Jeff…that was so sweet of him.
I got one of those at my bridal shower and I can’t wait to use it…my shower was over 3yrs ago, but we’ve been living with my in-laws ever since and I refuse to ’share’ my toys with my mother-in-laws kitchen. So I’m waiting patiently until our house is finished. I have boxes and boxes of lovely dishes, glasses, and appliances all waiting for me to use them! Once this past winter, I broke down and used my kitchen aide mixer to make one of Vanilla Sugar’s cookies (pecan sandies) and it was awesome….then I immediately cleaned and wiped it down and returned it to the box!
Can’t wait to meet you and Jeff next saturday…too bad I can’t meet those precious children of yours (and penelope)!
Jamie
[Reply]
haha…i am just catching up on some of your recent posts and saw my name :) I am so not surprised that you sold most of your wedding gifts..you are too funny. All of your wedding gift ideas sounded great…except for the tool kit. We have too many tools and Eric keeps bringing home more. He wanted me to register at Home Depot! Cant wait to see you guys this weekend!!!
[Reply]