It’s impossible to appreciate just how easy a single child is until you have more than one. Last night, Lily and Ben slept at my mom’s house for the night, leaving Jeff and I with only Evan for the night and following morning. Over the past three and a half years, I’d totally forgotten what it was like to have a one on one ratio, or even (gasp) a two on one. It was peaceful and eerily quiet. And a welcome break.
I made me question what on earth I thought was so hard about life when I only had Lily?
Her early days are a blur of exhaustion. Why exactly was I so tired? There was a time period when she was an infant that I needed to pick Jeff up at the subway. I remember being so inconvenienced having to bundle her up and buckle her in to make the 15 minute drive. Taking a single child on an outing now is a pleasure cruise.
It’s impossible to share this information with people until they, too, understand from experience. It sounds condescending and insulting to tell new parents how easy they may one day think their overwhelming days are, and if they never have more than one, they will never understand. As I never would have before. You just can’t. One kid is hard. Until there are more.
It makes me wonder if my friends with four and five kids look at me and long for the easy days. If they roll their eyes at the sense of overwhelming chaos I feel. If my days are a simple walk in the park compared to what they deal with. Probably.
But, I’ll just take their word for it. This is nuts enough for me.
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F having one!
I’m on two going on three and my poor friends with only one have to be THE ENTERTAINMENT for that kid. I’m not so talented being in the role of the entertainer – mostly because I hate cartoons and think hide and go seek kind of sucks. So having a 3 & 4 year old I can send out into the back yard to play with each other is a blessing I never forget to count!
One kid *shudder* I can’t imagine.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..My Pregnancy Craving: Cherry Slurpees =-.
THat’s about how I feel about it…I had others so they first one had a playmate. Well not really but it’s a added feature ;)
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Well that was fun.. =-.
haha i loved this post ! i do not have kids yet, but i have baby sat since i was 9 1/2 years old .. and i was and still am, so grateful that at the end of the night .. i get to go home and sleep through the night ! i cant wait til the day that i have kids, and i know it will be a task .. so i am enjoying my time alone for right now !
.-= Kaitlin Johnston´s last blog ..Raven’s First Bath =-.
I don’t think you get off easy with 3 kids but I will do a little eye rolling because I can. I have raised 4 and I have often thought there wasn’t that much difference in having 3 or 4 kids. Maybe 5 makes a difference. I know that Mom with 19 kids is rolling her eyes at both of us.
.-= passions and soapboxes´s last blog ..Hairspray…. =-.
It has been 5 years now that I am a Empty Nester…I still am a loss for what to do with all my time! :)
Being a Mommy was the hardest and “bestest” job of my life!
.-= Ronda’s Rants´s last blog ..Tangling with Tyrants =-.
You know people with 4 or 5 kids? Just thinking about that makes me tired, LOL! I don’t know how my parents did it with just 3. And I don’t know how you do either…but you all deserve a great big pat on the back, that’s for sure!
.-= Notesfromthegrove´s last blog ..Dear Jillian Michaels, =-.
I guess I’ll never know how easy this is, because ONE is quite enough for me :P
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Happy Half Birthday =-.
Just imagine how the Duggars feel ;-)
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..Call me Mommy. Please. =-.
Well, they’re just fucking crazy.
You are sooo right. This is why I am selfishly having one. I am lazy and still slightly self-observed. I like having my glass of wine outside at night, chatting on the phone. I like to sleep in on a Saturday because it’s my husband’s turn to take her to the park till 12. And I LOVE getting great sleep every night and if not…rotating bad sleep. Of course I roll my eyes at my childless friends who by the end of the “sitting on the couch and picking my ass” weekend tell me “I am so tired” and when I tell them about my sleep deprived night explain to me that “whiskers (the cat) wakes them up too)….BUT I know how good I have it and I will never compare myself to the parent of 2 or more. My hat goes out to you guys!
.-= Ilona Siller´s last blog ..TOP 10 MEAN CARDS. =-.
agreed again…Duggers….crazy.
.-= Ilona Siller´s last blog ..TOP 10 MEAN CARDS. =-.
It’s not the number that matter. 1, 2, 3, 4 or 20. Each step along the way means you have to change something. 1 is hard in the early stages because let’s face it you don’t know what you are doing. Then one morning you wake up and you kinda do then it gets a bit easier.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..In and out of Target in under $50 =-.
Can totally relate to this post!!! I was beyond thrilled a few times this Summer when my parents just took one or two of my children home from the beach and bathed them at their house. The promised sleepover proved elusive though! :) I’ll take what I can get…LOL!
.-= Mags´s last blog ..I Spy…. =-.
I completely get where you are coming from, now that I am on baby #3.
.-= Missy´s last blog ..Not Back-to-School blog hop~ Day-in-the-life Week =-.
I am one of four children. Way back in ’74 it broke down like this:
Me- 5 years old
Sister- 3 years old
Twin Sisters- Infants
I didn’t realize how much work it was for my parents until I became a father. I have two now, but I could easily add to the clan. Of course I am not the sole decision maker here so that impacts things a bit.
But I hear you about having one child, it is easier.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..Why Some Blogs Fail Revisited =-.
Aw, shit, if that’s the case, Who is going to look at ME as the one who’s got it easy? No ONE! That’s for sure. I will always be “Poor Gretchen. She’s got 5 kids!”
But just think, when I’m old and grey, I’ll have a ton of people who (hopefully) will visit me and change my Depends.
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..Being the New Kid In Town =-.
Yes, I can only imagine what multiple kids would be like. Thankfully, at nearly 42 with only the one, 5 is not in the cards for me.
Enjoy those night when they come. They are likely like the nights I have every evening.
.-= SeattleDad´s last blog ..Get Your Babypants On =-.
I hear you! I feel like I cannot complain about anything when I’m talking to my friends who have 4 kids, or even 3 kids 3 and under, because no matter how tired I may be, they probably have it tougher. Dammit. I’m not me without my right to bitch.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Missing you. And you and you and you. =-.
Yes having more than one is hard sometimes very hard but I’m convinved that the benefits of only one must wear thin when you are their constant source of entertainment. I allow my boys to have a day off school every couple of months so that they can have special mummy time as I love being able to focus on one child for just a few hours. They both have their turn and they both really enjoy it.
.-= blueskyhi´s last blog ..My Goals Update =-.
I swear to God, I thought the first 2 months at home with our first born were the hardest days of my life… little did I know! Now that little girl is 2.5 years old and we added twin boys to the mix 8 months ago. The thing is… it just never ends! There are always more bottles to make, more mouths to feed, more diapers to change. You NEVER get a break. I am back at work now (after a 4 month maternity leave), but stayed home a week ago because our daycare was on vacation. In just over a week (with the weekend included), I fed 90 bottles, changed 100+ diapers and fed 18 spoon feedings… that doesn’t even include keeping the 2 year old fed and entertained. OH yeah, AND we are potty training! I have never been so excited to get back to the office.
p.s. I found your blog today after doing a google search for “terrible threes.” I have no idea how she could get worse, but everyone warns me that the threes are worse that the twos. Anyways, thanks for entertaining me for the past 30 minutes… love the blog!
Great post and so true! I often think the same thing.
When I had Tess, Bram went and spent a week with Adam’s mom.
It was the easiest thing ever. I napped and cooked and read magazines. It made me really wonder why I couldn’t do a thing when Bram was a newborn.
The only thing I can figure out is you aren’t used to the lack of sleep and you think you are going to kill them if you do one thing wrong, everything perfect.
By baby #2 you are used to no sleep and non stop action and you know how hard they are to break. Makes sense.
.-= courtney´s last blog ..Wineglass, Martha, Halloween, tutus and a recipe. =-.
I only have one and while I know that some days are crappy and hard, it would only be harder with a second and, oh my god, a third. Which is why I’m still not sure that I want another. I’m crazy enough already.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Booga Booga Revisited =-.
So true. So true. I remember thinking one was so hard. And then when two came along I was thrown into a whole new world of hard. Or so I thought. But, after about 3, it’s all about the same. Just more food consummed. More butts to wipe and make sure are showered. More noise. More of the same as three. Multiplied. :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Whrrl….. =-.
Well. I actually KNOW that my life probably was easier with 2 kids. But maybe it also depends on individual temper. Last day and night we just had our littlest, 2y old. And this morning we just found out that is wasn’t THAT MUCH easier. We hoped for a period of relaxing but didn’t find one. I think some kids are simply more demanding than others. I can remember being alone with our second daughter. And it was ALWAYS a cakewalk. Not with the youngest, anyway.
.-= Susanne´s last blog ..Sleep-aholic =-.
we call having one ‘a picnic’ hehe – i know what you mean, but like ross says – ‘it’s aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal relative!!!’ trust u enjoyed your quiet night!
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..wordful wednesday – yesterday i became the mother of a daughter entering her 3rd decade =-.
I’m NEVER letting my husband read this post! It’s my biggest wish to have three kids and I’m having to fight for TWO! He’d be happy with just the one, but, you know, the whole sibling thing is really important to us both, so he knows what he’s got to do :) I tell him all the time that one more won’t be that big of a deal! haha
.-= Jessica – This Is Worthwhile´s last blog ..2:50 pm =-.
I thought having one was hard too. Now, with three, having one is like a vacation. Maybe it something to do with experience. Like when I think back to high school and want to kick myself for thinking my thighs were big. I had no idea how big they could really get.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Weekly Meal Plan 3 =-.
That is so, so true. I’d kill for the stomach I hated in high school.
So, so true. I work with a few women who only have one child. It’s hard to bite my tongue when they talk about being busy. Which yes, it is, but it’s just a DIFFERENT BUSY when you have 3. Right?
Even worse? The 37 year-old I work with who is single/no kids. And she comes to work every morning yapping about how she’s “soooooo tired.” Gah.
.-= Trenches of Mommyhood´s last blog ..My Good News! =-.
Believe you me! Every. single. Day. I am so thankful for just one : ). In the summer when I have Naji or Bria I am like HOLY COW! People really take care of more than one kid all the time. How do they do it : ) You are amazing.
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Crisis Averted! =-.
If I could stand up and applaud you without keeling over and dying right now… I would. I look at my friends w/ 4 kids and KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that THIS is NUTS enough for me, and I only have 2!!
.-= Julie´s last blog ..The One with the Annoying Moaning Girl in the ER =-.
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