Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
In most ways, Ben is the easiest of my children. He wakes up in the morning in the most cheerful of moods, never needing even a moment to acclimate himself to the day. Generally agreeable, easy to please and predictable, he’s usually quite a joy.
Usually, I said, because, man, the boy is stubborn. I thought I was stubborn, but he makes me look mild mannered and forgiving. If Ben doesn’t want to do something he will not do it. Pure and simple. Unlike Lily, he refuses to be manipulated or convinced into anything. On the nights when he doesn’t like what’s served for dinner he thinks nothing of going to bed hungry, much to my dismay. Breaking him of bad habits, such as sleeping on our floor or using a pacifier prove nearly impossible and never fail to drive me crazy in the process.
Last spring, after becoming increasingly displeased with the preschool program he was enrolled in, I decided to send him to the school Lily had just graduated from. From the day I introduced him to the idea, he threw an absolute fit. No way, he cried, I will not go to that school… never!
Naively, I assumed that after a few months he would warm up to the idea, but I should have known better. I left him at school today kicking and screaming about not wanting to be there. I will not have fun, he wailed, as tears filled my eyes too. The teachers assured me that he would soon stop and I nodded my head in false agreement.
Those poor folks have no idea what they’re in store for.
{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
We should introduce him to my stubborn boy Liam – who does exactly what Ben does only throw in a bonus of him screaming “you’re a fuckin’” when I want him to do something he doesn’t want to do.
Mine do that too- when they really want to get to me. Good times.
That stubborn streak will give him conviction as an adult and he’ll be a millionaire someday. Right? Right? That’s what I keep telling myself….
.-= Amy Flanagan´s last blog ..As I drop my mother off at the airport after a three-day visit she says, "Amy, you look so pretty. Much prettier than when we arrived." =-.
Right.
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Most Stubborn Boy in the World =-.
Is he potty trained? If yes, BELIEVE ME, he is far from the most stubborn kid in the world. My daughter, who is now almost grown up, had him beat by several miles.
He does pee on the potty, but I am quite sure that I will still be putting a diaper on for him to shit when’s he’s 15. We’re making NO progress there.
I know that stubborn streak all too well. I think I passed it onto my toddler. Hopefully your son will realize there is actual fun to be had at preschool and will come around to it.
.-= Lady Mama´s last blog ..Daddy go wine? =-.
Aww, I hope he surprises you and he is miraculously smiley when you pick him up. Good luck!
.-= Belle´s last blog ..One of Those Days… =-.
I’m pretty sure my oldest would give him a run for his money. He throws an absolute fit whenever we try to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Weekly Winners Vol. 5: Zoo Edition =-.
Mine three year old is just as stubborn, but throws no fits. Seriously. Rarely cries. He chooses a much more Machiavellian route…
He says in a very calm, sweetly commanding voice: “No, mama. I don’t think so. Not right now. Maybe later, but I NOT doing that right now, okay?”
<I normally stand there with my mouth hanging open and then, when my brows begin to knit and he can tell I'm annoyed, before I can say anything, he'll interject:
" I love you, but that's the way it is. Thank you, go 'way now, I'm playing. You need some coffee. It's okay, Mama."
…I’m not sure what’s worse, frankly. (But I hope you have a happy pick up today!)
.-= Ri, The Music Savvy Mom´s last blog ..Mothball Monday: A Post from the Vault =-.
Stubborn kids are tough. Funny… I had a blog post today too about having trouble with a preschooler! Hope it gets better for you.
.-= WackyMummy´s last blog ..Confessions =-.
There IS a certain flare to that glare, isn’t there?
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Channelling Lou Costello =-.
At least he knows what he wants, huh?! There’s no wishy washiness to contend with, so you never have to guess what he’s thinking, no? (Just trying to put a positive spin on the hardheadedness thing.)
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I’ve got WAY too many teeth =-.
I’m going to be expierencing the kicking and screaming tomorrow…. it’s my little one’s first day of preschool. He has been kept by my mom from day one……… I have shed a tear or two myself. :( I know it will be good for him but damn it’s going to be hard.
.-= Cookie Crums´s last blog ..Crazy Neighbor =-.
today was the first day? well let’s see if your phone starts ringing. fingers crossed, right?
.-= dawn´s last blog ..banana custard tartlettes and julia & me =-.
So far, so good. I pick him up in an hour, so we’ll see…
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Most Stubborn Boy in the World =-.
I bet they will learn soon. It’s hard when these kids have such strong personalities. They have a mind of their own!
.-= Keyona´s last blog ..Not What I Had In Mind…But OK =-.
As my son’s optimisitic and slightly insane preschool teacher said, that shows leadership qualities…
Good luck with that!!
.-= Val´s last blog ..Weekend & Chick Flick Review… =-.
He sounds like a perfect match for my Tomboy. They could have a duel to see who is the most stubborn and throws the biggest fit.
.-= Missy´s last blog ..It is definitely an Are you there God? time. =-.
Oh… I know about stubborn boys!! If my oldest does not get his way… Well, let’s just say we don’t go there too often… Too scary! Good luck… I hope he adjusts and loves it soon!
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..The fear of flying… with children =-.
My oldest is quite stubborn herself. It took until she was past her fourth birthday to get her potty trained. And sometimes she will still pee in her pants if she doesn’t want to go to the bathroom. She just didn’t want to do it. And she is also manipulative so a lot of times she will hold out until I offer a compromise and then give in. I guess it is a good thing I’m stubborn too because on somethings I can hold out forever. LOL
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..My friend Lizzie =-.
How’d it end up going?
.-= angie´s last blog ..Famous Footwear $100.00 Giveaway =-.
It wasn’t horrible. But, I picked him up after just 2 hours- normally he’ll stay longer. He carried on for about 20 minutes and calmed down, but still wasn’t himself. He did tell me that he had an ok time, but will NOT go back. Tomorrow should be interesting…
I dread the day when I send AJ to school. He has been and probably always will be a momma’s boy. He clams up and holds onto my leg when I take him to unknown, unfamiliar places. And when I leave the house, oh boy! He pitches a fit. I sure hope that Ben warms up to the school idea. Good luck!
–>Good think you’re already known as Scary Mommy to send him to a new school. Good luck!
http://www.WebSavyMom.com/
.-= WebSavyMom´s last blog ..A Favorite Thing =-.
I have a stubborn one too. I hope that he really does have a good day.
.-= Jen, buried with children´s last blog .."I’m Going to Stay in the Basement" =-.
Ahh stubborn kids.
I have a stubborn daughter who learned to cross her arms firmly across her chest when she was one and shout, “NO! No THANKS! NO WAY!”
.-= Amber´s last blog ..To The Neighborhood Kids =-.
Stubborn as a rock? I am thinking that’s what the photo implies! Keep us posted how preschool goes.
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..First Kiss… =-.
Exactly. See how deep I am? :)
He will end up loving it!! Sometimes I think that for many kids, it’s about change. They don’t like change. There was a point where my son would cry when it would be time to go home ffrom school because he didn’t want to leave THERE either. Made me feel like mom of the year! (not)
.-= Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..One Shot to Get It Right =-.
My youngest son, Mini Me is like that. He too will go to bed hungry. All I can say is to repeat this mantra-I will win. This is what got me through. When he was 2 1/2, I transitioned him to a toddler bed. He didn’t want to sleep in it. I would put him in to nap, he would get out. Some days, I would put him in 50 times in one afternoon, both of us crying, until he cried himself to sleep. It took one month of consistently doing that every day to break him. And he has been like that since birth. Stick to your guns and you will win-you might need a drink or two during the process. LOL! :)
.-= mrschattypants´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Panda!!! =-.
We’re all very stubborn in this house. It makes for some interesting times.
.-= Bruce Teague´s last blog ..Fixing RSS Feed, May Lose You! =-.
I have a stubborn little man on my hands as well. Is it a boy thing?
.-= Nap Warden´s last blog ..Oh, My Blair Witchian Nightmare =-.
I wish I could be like the rest of the commenters here, assuring you that he’ll come to like it eventually, but I never accepted it… After two weeks of me being an absolutely horrid little boy (when I was the golden boy among both sides of my family for being so amicable), my Mom finally arranged for me to hang out with friends, siblings and neighbors while she was at work.
.-= Grizzly Kitteh´s last blog ..Uhmzzz… =-.
Oh, crap. Day two was horrible and I’m already wondering when I just throw the towel in and just send him for 2 hours. This sucks.
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Most Stubborn Boy in the World =-.
Hmmm. This sounds familiar. When I was in kinderarten I used to stuff my homework assignments in a bush every day on the walk home (oh yeah – remember the good ol’ days when people let their 5 and 6 year olds WALK to and from school with the older kids in the neighborhood – as IF!!!) I refused to do so many things that, hi – you don’t really get to *choose* whether to do them or not… I seriously hope none of my children inherit this awful trait. Although I already see it in all of them…
I will keep Ben’s teachers in my prayers.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Pre-September Post: The R Rated One =-.
Most definitely don’t send him with the rock!
Oh, and since I’m a relatively new reader, I must insert my shock and awe over the note from the previous preschool–that’s terrible!
.-= Lori Z.´s last blog ..Slipping =-.
Both of my girls seem to be rather stubborn. Like your little guy, they are generally easy kids… much easier to parent than most. But wow. Stubborn.
.-= Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Tackle It Tuesday — Tackling Leftovers =-.
Awwww…I hope he liked it despite himself…
.-= Jenni Jiggety´s last blog ..RTTTTTT: Oh my…it is September =-.
Good Lord. Hope the day went better than you projected!
.-= tracey´s last blog ..Showing signs of neglect =-.
That stubbornness will serve him well. Not now but later.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..Who wants to play a little game? =-.
I can’t wait to hear how he did. I’m sure he was fine. He has to learn he can’t have everything his way because life just isn’t like that. This will turn out to be a great learning experience for him, you watch (I hope!). Well, hopefully he survived the day.
lol what a kid! and what a perfect picture to go along with the post. i’m thinking chloe might be the same way, since her momma was one stubborn s.o.b. (and still is) =D
xoxoxo
.-= Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog ..How to pee in your underpants =-.
Uh-oh. He sounds a bit like Max, in which case, I am so sorry. Would it be terrible if you let him go back to his old school? With kids like this, choosing your battles becomes all-important. They need to know that when you say “Buddy, this is the way it’s gonna be”, then it WILL be so! Because I say so! But I find that if I let Max have his way often, life is easier when I do put my foot down. Does this make him a spoiled brat? Probably!
.-= Nan´s last blog ..The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On Bournemouth =-.
Oh God, you poor thing! Wishing you luck in the next couple weeks!!
.-= Suzy Voices´s last blog ..Bunnicide: A Tale of Murder and Mayhem =-.
I have one just like that – and almost 16. Good luck. I’ll pray for you:)
.-= debbie´s last blog ..My Role Model =-.
Fingers crossed for fewer tears (on both sides) as the days go by. I think I would have hidden in a closet all day to make sure he was okay. Wait a minute… I did do that once. Kind of.
.-= Ryan Ashley Scott´s last blog ..Use my what!? =-.
OH my gosh. Has he been throwing a fit everyday? I sure hope it passes. It’s hard seeing them like that and then I feel like crying all morning.
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..An Ugly Kind of Delicious =-.
Yes. WAH! It’s awful. But, getting better. Bit by bit.
We should introduce our kids to each other. My daughter Jordan-Rose is 4 and a stubborn little bit…oh wait my wife may read this :). Screaming, yelling, hitting and repeating “I don’t want to” and “NO” all day…FUN FUN FUN
.-= Mike´s last blog ..A Weekend Drive for the Kids =-.
I think my youngest and your son were built from the same mould. Lukey is the most adorably stubborn boy on the planet (well, prob the southern hemisphere now). He cried every single day of kindy and he is now 5 1/4 and in his second year of school and he still occassionally cries even though he loves school, his teacher and his friends. I often questioned my decision in sending him to school but the reality is that I needed a break from him and I also think he needed a break from me too.
.-= blueskyhi´s last blog ..Book Sharing Monday – How Santa Really Works =-.