My Darling Lily,
I think you may be a bit confused about something, and as your mother, it’s my duty to clear it up. You looked quite royal today, dressed for school in your frilliest purple dress for the princess party, but I have to break some news to you:
You aren’t actually a princess, kid. You did know that, right? Because your recent behavior indicates otherwise.
I do not appreciate having you scream that I am the meanest mother in the world for not allowing you to have a cupcake for breakfast. If you thought that I really wanted to bake “pink, but not strawberry flavored cupcakes with pink frosting and snow on top” at seven o’clock this morning, you were sorely mistaken. What I wanted to do was clean the kitchen, still a mess from last night’s dinner party. But, instead, I baked your damn cupcakes. You’re welcome.
Being told that you will never love me again for making you clean up your crayons yesterday wasn’t appreciated either. I am not your maid, or your assistant. You make the mess, you clean it up. Got it? You are totally capable of buckling yourself in the car. Just because you don’t feel like it, doesn’t mean you can’t. I don’t much feel like it either.
There is not “adult food” and “kid food.” I cooked enough food yesterday for a small army. It was good enough for your father and his fifteen co-workers, and pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. You, however, deemed it gross and refused to eat. Somehow, though, you still ended up with cake. That was good enough for you. Even princesses eat chicken, my love.
I adore you, Lil. You can be the sweetest little girl in the entire world. I love your imagination and creativity and thoughtfulness. You truly amaze me. But the princess act is getting old. And, remember, the queen trumps the princess every time.
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{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
that is really funny. Will thinks he is a prince and is the same way. Glad I am not the only one that deals w/ royalty.
you kick her cute little princess ass.
Lemme guess…she is 4 or 5? My own little just-turned-5-year-old is having issues similar to this. Definitely not the sweet little girl she used to be – thankfully I know from my 8yo that this is just a phase. Whew! :)
All hail to the Queen! Here, here!
And there it is… the affirmation that I needed to hear to be HAPPY that I had a boy, oh and that this boy will be the only spawn I push out this whooo haaaa!!!
Oh, but princesses get to wear such beautiful gowns. I’m jealous you have a princess. I have two princes…although they act more like dragons these days. Fire breathing ones whose pee doesn’t make it in the toilet.
This was EXCELLENT! I’m going to have to print it out and change it to prince and give it to my son!!!!
Oh I am not ready for this. Not at all.
Yeah, I think I need to have this same conversation with my little princess.
I reserve the right to steal this for use , if necessary, at a later date.
Oh Lord!!!
Can I copy/print this for MY Lily?
PERFECT!
Whew…
Thanks for this. :->.
Very good! And well said… Now when she is old enough to understand it print it off and read it to her… :)
Do I even need to tell you? You are doing the right thing. Not that you’re doubting yourself, but I know it’s hard to hear “I HATE YOU” when you think, “I’m doing this because I love you enough to not get away with it.” That alone, is proof that you’re doing the right thing.
All that drama. I’m glad I have a boy…LOL! Good luck with the little princess.
Thank you for the warning. I have a 2 1/2 year old who tells me often she is a Princess, yet has the attitude of Tinkerbell.
I love that mine will demand cookies, and ONLY chocolate milk after a night at gramma and grampas. And the big mean mommy has to re train her that chocolate milk is special, and cookies are not a main corse.
I am not at the “meanest mommy ever” stage yet. Oh I am sure it will be sooner then later.
Feisty
I should copy this letter and give it to my two royal pains in the ass… er, I mean royal princesses.
INDEED the queen has spoken (smiles – love this!!)
Could you give this speech to my prince’s please? They need it as well.
You are the queen, if ever there was one. She doesn’t know who she is dealing with. the spawn can never trump the original.
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
OMG. That sounds JUST like my son!!
Whom I refer to as “My lil princess”. Heh.
Just because you don’t feel like it… HA! How many times have I said THAT??? I need to go get him a tiara.
Dude. Seriously.
When my son storms off and screams, “I HATE YOU!!!” and slams the door, I know I’m doing my job. :)
you are a damn brilliant queen!
what did you serve at your party?
thought of you as we serves matzo balls and latkes this morning at our christukkah party…
LOL! the queen trumps the princess! classic!
Umm where are the pictures of food from the dinner party? Hello? is this thing on?
Yes…I understand! We have one grown-up Princess who just informed me she doesn’t like the way her husband says her nickname!
Aging princess’ struggle, they really do!
So glad to hear boys go through this too. Terrific.
And about the food,I totally forgot to take pictures, but it was quite the spread. :)
Chicken Marbella (one of my staples)
Roasted Veggie Cous Cous
Sweet Potato Lasagna (this, http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/sweet-potato-cannelloni, but I just layer it)
Salad w pears, goat cheese and fig dressing (from Cathy @Noble Pig)
Antipasto platter,
Panettone bread pudding (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/panettone-bread-pudding-with-amaretto-sauce-recipe/index.html) it was awesome!
Raspberry trifle and chocolate peppermint cake.
I worked my ass off!
Just read it out loud to MY mom. We both laughed out loud. Hilarious!
I pray that my kids view themselves as royalty. Except that they understand, embrace, and live the understanding that the privilege of royalty is actually a privilege in having the power to care for those who are not so royal. That being royal implies leadership and that being a true leader requires personal conduct that others will admire. That you will set a standard, by creating a living example, that others will follow.
It’s ok for my daughter to be a princess, as long as she is Princess Diana. It’s ok for my son to be a prince, as long as he is Prince Charming.
And yes, though they may be royalty, but as you so aptly observe, they still live in the castle that is ruled by a Queen and King who share responsibility for the kingdom.
(Don’t know where this came from — just started writing — thanks for the inspiration.)
Oh dear. Wait til she’s 12.
Oh, yes… the princess contradiction…Totally live it here as well. By the way, if you’re totally bored and have absolutely nothing to do this holiday season, I threw you a challenge… I think I’m giving up on tags for a time being after this.
Ah,the entitlement phase rears its ugly head! Good luck with that one. I still have my scars.
This reminds me of my mother. I was THE princess and never understood why my mom looked so angry in all the pics of her when my siblings and I were growing up… now I have a monster (aka son) who is three and I finally get it. She wasn’t “mad,” she was too flipping tired to use her smile muscles! At least with daughters, you know they will sincerely appreciate you one day, because they will BE you someday!
We visited a real castle last summer in Europe and the tour guide told my daughter that every girl was born into royalty.
Ha.
What do you say to that?
Oh dear- I’m already calling my 3 month old a princess. But she IS one. Until she can talk. Ugh!
Steph
haha, that’s hilarious, love the reality check!!
SO glad to know my son is not the only one. I’m about to take his gifts back!
Damn sista.
Wait until she’s 13. They become even less reasonable. No frilly dresses but still possessing a belief in total world domination… And I can;t even bring her back to the hospital.
haha—the queen trumps the proncess every time! Love it:)
Well said!
Oh I think we need to introduce your Lily to my #2…they sound sooo much alike excpet mine is 6!
I seriously think the Tween Attitude is starting younger and younger.