Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I’ve never liked my voice. It’s not bad, but I’ve always longed for a sexy, smokey drawl that just begs to be listened to. That, I do not have. I cringe when I hear my voice on answering machines and go through at least ten takes when recording a voice mail greeting. When I am blessed with bronchitis, I refuse to clear my throat, milking the horse voice for as long as I possibly can. When I’m angry, my voice takes on a high pitched tone that probably summons dogs for miles around. Admittedly, it’s a pretty awful sound.
One of the biggest fights Jeff and I ever had was on one of our cross country drives. I have no recollection of exactly what it was about, but it culminated in him bursting out in hysterics over the sound of my primitive scream. Let me tell you: There is nothing more infuriating than yelling at your husband and having him laugh in your face. Nothing.
One thing that’s even worse than the sound of my own voice? It’s the sound of my scream bellowing through my daughter’s throat. Daily, I hear Lily holler “Bee-eeee-ennnnn” in the most irritating voice I’ve ever heard.
It’s shrill.
It’s horrible.
It’s bone chilling.
And it’s all mine. I really need to work on that.
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
hahahahahahaha. you are hilarious, partially because my scream has also induced laughter during a fight, but also because i’m terrified my child will adapt my habit of yelling for others rather than..you know, walking in the other room
you are so hard on yourself, I think your voice is fine. now my voice, I sound like a child.
I’m reading all of these posts today that are bringing up all of the things I myself have going on. My girls often yell like me – say the same phrases etc. – and it always always does the same thing – it’s like a wake-up call – I’m forced to look in the mirror and wow. It can be tough.
But I’m SURE your voice is not nearly as bad as you are thinking it is. But mine IS!
Do you at least sound like a grown up? My teen daughter and I have tricked her friends on the phone….I get on there and they still think it’s her. Ugh. So as the rest of me ages, I can at least count on my voice staying young.
I have audiotapes of me as a toddler and L and I sound exactly the same. It cracks me up. I bet your voice isn’t so bad.
So let’s swap! I sound like a bloke.
Awesome.
I’m sooo glad I am not the only one who records their messaage like 28 times cause my voice sounds awful!!…I hate my voice too…
I’m so feelin your pain!!!
HA1 i couldn’t agree more, I hate my voice as well. It’s the reason I am scared to Vlog…people will hear me talk like a pre-puberty pre-teen boy.
OMG. I totally hate my voice too! And I’ve had to interview people for a living, so imagine listening to a half hour of yourself on audio tape? Especially when you hate your voice AND happen to slip into a horrendous regional accent every once in a while. It’s very traumatic, let me tell you. :)
I was going to suggest you take up smoking to get that chronic throaty sound, but maybe not so much for Lily. :) Or there’s always pre-chewed gum stuck to the underside of public tables, if you don’t mind a temporary hacking cough illness. No? Hmm…
I hear ya! Have you ever met (or talked on the phone with) one of your blog readers? I did, once, and she said, “you don’t sound like I expected you to sound.” And, I said the same thing to OhMommy when I saw one of her videos once, and her voice was on the video. I think we get a picture in our minds of what a person sounds like.
But I LOVE that episode of Friends where Phoebe loves the sultry voice she gets when she’s sick, then she loses it and tries to get Monica’s cold. But the best part was when Monica was trying to seduce Chandler, but she’s sick, and she says, “Don’t you wanna get wib dis?” Then she nearly coughs up a lung. BWA HA HA HA
what exactly’s wrong with your voice?
I use to hear it everyday and i never thought it was a bad voice…in fact, it never even crossed my mind!
People have started mistaking my son for me on the phone… So apparently I sound like an 11-year-old boy!
I hear you. My voice totally abandons me when I try to raise it. Not good for a guy, but I guess I have always learned to resolve things without yelling.
Now though, I can YELL MUCH BETTER ONLINE!
I love your voice. Although, I don’t remember when I was on the receiving end of your anger. I do love it when you are incredulous or really worked up about something and it raises 9 octaves.
kids really do have an amazing way of showing us ourselves…. it’s totally scary isn’t it?
It is really easy to YELL ONLINE! Been a while since I read a transcript on a blog, that was so last year.
Check out my giveaway when you have a chance…
DB
Move south for a while. You’ll pick up the drawl in no time. As for the smoky/sultry part…maybe hang out in jazz clubs?
I don’t have a drawl, but apparently I have a phone sex voice.
LOL, I especially like the not clearing your throat to make the sexy voice last.
I’m not sure many people really love to hear their own voice. I also do about 10 takes before settling on a recording…mostly I just give up.
Well, I didn’t say it was a particularly logical issue.:) Most of mine are not. But, my voice does get increasingly higher pitched the madder I get. I makes me crazy and I have no control over it.
For the record, your voice is beautiful. Really. That said, your shrill scream–which hardly ever makes an appearance–is awful.
Intrigued about the scream… I, too, hate when someone laughs at you when you are pissed off.
I can’t stand my voice either. I refuse to do any message reccordings.
Do you sound like an adult? I don’t, I still sound like I’m 6. I have had people ask me if my mommy is home on the phone!!!!
I wish I had a sexy voice too. Sometimes I’m actually happy when I get laryngitis because I know when I’m on the mend I’ll sound sultry and hot for a few days. Well, I hope I will. I probably just sound sick.
I don’t like how I sound either. I would like to have Kathleen Turner’s voice. But, I have mine…horrible Boston accent and all.
I think my voice sounds weird, too.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your voice!
My baby isn’t old enough yet to imitate either me or my husband, but I can tell you right now, I scream like my gramma. Oh boy.
Oh my god that’s really really funny! I can imagine just how infuriating that scene with you husband must have been. My daughter is just now learning to use her voice – as she’s not quite six months old yet! And I am LOVING hearing her babble and trying to talk. :)
Well now I just want to hear it. People always think when they hear stuff like this, that it can’t be THAT bad. Nobody knows more than your neighbors I bet. I wish I knew all the shit our neighbors must think hearing all the shit that comes out of our house.
Also I am not sure I have ever met a single person that likes the sound of their own voice.
I think any couple contemplating getting married ought to be forced to take a cross-country drive together. It’s the real test of a relationship.
So funny about your voice. I hear mine coming out of my daughter’s mouth and it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. EEEEEKK!
Wow….I totally understand! I can’t stand my voice on videos or ansering machines either. I LOVE when I am tired and I get “sexy voice”…I actually love it so much that I named it that and my friends all recognize it now too…..
okay – now don’t you think you should post a video now for us all to hear??
I think most people hate the way their voice sounds on answering machines and recordings. It never sounds like me! Ever!
I can’t stand to hear my speaking voice on things either. I always think I sound like a child! It’s much different in my head! HA!
My voice sucks on answering machines and any voice recording…it sounds like a little girl…very sad…
I almost thought smoking would be a good idea just to get that smokers voice!!! lol!
I have that voice that makes my husband laugh too….I’ll be furious and sometimes he just starts laughing…ugh!
UH, yes…I was waiting for a video sound clip!
I too hate my voice so don’t feel bad! lol
so funny–I totally milk my hoarse voice when I get cold.
I hate my voice. I’m convinced it’s not mine but a monster that lives in my throat.
You don’t LOOK like you would have a shrill voice. I don’t have a nice voice either. I call for pizza delivery and they ask if my parents are home.