Jessica is an exhausted stay at home mom to a demanding only child. In addition to being CEO of her household, she is also an eBay Power Seller, caffeine addict, social media diva, Disney lover and self proclaimed wino. You can follow her adventures in motherhood at The Unemployed Mom.
Remembering back to my pregnancy, I cannot recall one person saying “OMG, life as you know it will never be the same”. Instead it was goo goo ga ga talk, and “just wait until he/she does this” and then some more of “the little angel” that. Let’s face it people, while there are lots of ooh and ah moments, there are things a new mother needs to be warned about.
Let’s see, once my son was born it was a miracle if I showered. My husband never understood how showering wasn’t part of my daily hygiene; however, he was not an exhausted feeding machine. I was on call 24/7 and needed to be ready when my son was hungry, which was ALL THE TIME. Did I mention my son preferred the tap instead of a bottle, so daddy helping was out of the question?
Also, during the infancy stage there were many moments of being pooped on as well as spit up on. My diaper bag always contained extra clothing for baby AND me! Then, once the little one is mobile it gets even more complicated. You turn your back for a split second and the child is either chewing on something toxic or falling off an object he shouldn’t have been climbing on in the first place.
Fast-forward to the toddler stage and where do I begin? First of all, you never know what you’re going to get! I mean, one day the child could be the perfect little person with manners and very loving then the next day an unpredictable, bipolar brat! You can count on being embarrassed repeatedly while in public. I cannot tell you how many times I have told clerks “right here, this is the best form of birth control” as my son throws a tantrum inside a store. I used to get embarrassed; now I just laugh about it. Other parents sympathize while thinking “thank God it’s not my child” and then you have the non-parents thinking “that child is such a brat” or “what kind of mother would let her child behave like that in public”.
I mentioned spit up earlier but that does not compare to being vomited on in public after your kid drinks an entire cup of milk. Even changing shirts and washing your hair in a filthy public restroom sink does not take away the stench. Regardless of where you are, what you’re doing, or how much you spent on an event ticket…you must go home and shower ASAP!
In all reality, motherhood is the most rewarding and challenging job. There are days I’d like to quit, but obviously that is not an option. Instead, I drown my frustrations with a nice bottle of wine or sometimes a much stronger beverage of choice. But, when my little guy hugs and kisses me, I realize it is all worth it.
I keep thinking once we get through the terrible two’s, it will be smooth sailing…but other parenting friends tell me age three is far worse. Sigh! The next time a friend tells me she is expecting her first child, instead of asking her “what are you thinking” or bursting into laughter, I will hug her and say “congratulations.” It is only fair that newbie parents find out from experience the truth about motherhood!