My first job out of college was doing newspaper advertising for a regional department store. The very first day, fresh faced and eager, I was plopped into my tiny cubicle and told to go ahead and clean up from the previous employee. My new boss disappeared. Always obedient, I dumped the folders, the notebooks and the post-its in the garbage. I love weeding through crap and it felt good.
Next, it was on to the computer. It was filled with unfamiliar icons– networks, drives, folders. I had no idea what any of them were. So, like anyone told to clean up, I dragged every last one into the trash and emptied it. Are you sure you want to trash all 987,092 items, the screen asked incredulously? I confirmed and watched as the images disappeared. It didn’t seem right, but I was told to clean up and clean up I would, dammit.
Hours went by and the trash was still emptying. I flipped through old newspapers and perfected my voice mail recording. My boss had yet to make another appearance so I went to lunch. When I returned, the office was a commotion. Someone, apparently, had gone and trashed all of the network files, thus erasing week’s worth of work. The system was only backed up monthly so every single thing anyone had worked on for weeks was gone. Layouts, photographs, text. G.O.N.E.
Who would do such a thing? Who was disgruntled enough to bring down the whole department? And why? My stomach sank. I knew that it was me, but the damage was done. What good would fessing up to at that point? It was my first job and the last thing I wanted to do was make an office full of enemies on my first day. The tension in the office was tangible and everyone was a suspect. Everyone, but the earnest new girl who had no reason to do such a thing.
It took months for the office to catch up, and I was guilt ridden every day. Every presentation was introduced with a reference to the bad employee who erased what should have been presented. People were cranky and worked through lunch to catch up. It was awful.
I’d like to say that that was the low point of my work behavior, but it wasn’t. I managed to get a days worth of work done in a few hours, and refused to sit wasting away at my desk. I took 3 hour lunch breaks daily. I drove to outlet malls and saw movies at the nearby theater. I went to the gym at lunch and took 20 minute showers. I shopped at the supermarket and waltzed in with weeks worth of groceries. I planned my wedding and started a graphic design business using the offices supplies. I was shameless.
The job lasted four long years. On my last day of work, my boss took me out for drinks. I wish you weren’t leaving, he said. You do your job really well. But, I do have to know, what were you doing every day for 3 hours at lunch? I felt my face turning beet red and told him that he really didn’t want to know.
I did fess up to bringing down the computer system years ago, an incident that was well remembered and constantly referenced. He laughed. Good luck, he said, as he hugged me goodbye. I’ll miss you.
And with that, my days in a cubicle were over. Amazingly, every once in a while I miss them. At least the long lunches and free office supplies.
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t believe that story! I was ( still am if truth be told) such a mouse sometimes. I’m sure I would have confessed and gotten fired. Amazing.
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
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I was/still am in awe about your lunches. You seriously saw every movie as soon as it was out!
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Totally screwing a computer system is one of my biggest fears. This probably means I should never get a paying job again.
I once had a job that I literally had nothing to do on Fridays. I used that day to play “catch up,” but since I was always caught up, I spent a lot of time playing Solitaire on my computer.
Twitter: playgroupie
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Oh, Jill, that is one awesome story!! I can’t believe that happened! And that you kept quiet about it for so long. I suppose it was better for you to wait a few years before breaking the news. I doubt they would have laughed it off had you mentioned it immediately.
Twitter: 1momof5
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LMAO! I LOVE that you took such long lunches! Sounds like a fun job to me!!
Twitter: cmacceo
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You are a HOOT!
Twitter: musicangel74
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Wow…i can’t believe that.
Have a nice weekend!
Twitter: Geezees
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I can’t believe it. What a great story! I love having a laugh over someone else’s boo-boos for a change. I’ve had my own share of hideous office behavior. And you’re right: they don’t need to know. It won’t hurt them not to know it was you. ;)
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Have you read John Kennedy Toole’s book Confederacy of Dunces? I think that you would love the main character, Iganatius Jacques Reilly.
I felt nauseous when reading what you did on your first day at work. I have done similar things but the guilt and the stress rendered too difficult for me to handle without spewing out the truth to all.
It’s fun looking back and I am sooo grateful to be out of those naive times!
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I haven’t, but it sounds like I should!!
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what an awesome story!
michelle´s last blog ..cause & effect
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Oh my GOD! Haha…. Jill… I would have died… I probably would have run out of the office on that first day after that incident! Well, to make you feel better, in high school, I worked part-time in an interior design firm. There wasn’t a whole for me to do, but one of my duties was to water the plants, so that’s what I did for a few months – until my boss came in and asked me why I was watering all the fake plants! Oopsie… ;)
Loukia´s last blog ..Time
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
LOL, I totally would have done that too!
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I’d have been freaking out that first day, month, year!!! I can relate to the long lunches though. :)
Mags´s last blog ..Kindergarten…
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Oh, I totally was. I lived in complete fear.
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what a nice boss!! man.
all kidding aside, this was a great read momma.
dawn´s last blog ..devil’s food cupcakes w/ salty mascarpone frosting
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You should miss them! I don’t know of any office environment that would allow for 3 hour lunches every day. Impressive though regarding the deletion, I don’t think I could have made it through the guilt trip I’d have put on myself.
I’m jealous though, I hate my cubicle and my office has ZERO windows.
Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Collecting Thoughts
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OH WOW! WOW! That’s all I can say.
Well no, I can say more.
Why didnt he say anything about the 3 hour lunches?
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
He did, he just didn’t care. I got my work done faster than anyone even with the 3 hour lunches and that was all that mattered to anyone. It was a really bizarre office.
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LOL! That is a great story! You must have rocked at that job since they let you get away with the lunch thing. Lucky girl!
~Laura´s last blog ..The Showdown
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You actually must have been a pretty good employee! He didnt seem to care about the files, or the 3 hour lunches! Sounds like a pretty cool place to work.
Stephanie@The Blue Zoo´s last blog ..Flat Frog
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
It had it’s good points- the lunches etc., but was actually a terrible place to work. It was boring as shit and the people were miserable. I could not wait to leave. And then I missed it, of course.
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Why did he not fire you if he knew about the 3 hr lunches? You have his number and is he looking for someone?
My 1st job out college was in Manhattan for a cruise line. I was in hotel sales and always out and about in the city. Sooooo, I went to Hoboken across the river quite a bit where my BF lived and we enjoyed many lunches and afternoons together!
Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Slow Down & Savour….
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Most of my jobs have been office jobs. Once I get the hang of things, I usually have too much time on my hands (as there is almost never enough work to actually take up an 8 hour day). I spent a lot of time remote accessing my home computer to go on AIM or look at websites my companies blocked :P
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so you’re the reason! HA
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You were bad. But it sounds like the job needed you to do that.
Jen, buried with children´s last blog ..Ready for Christmas?
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LOL – I can’t believe you trashed it all. That is too funny! I’ll have to remember that story next time I train someone in the office!
MamaOtwins+1´s last blog ..So it’s Christmas and you’re broke – who isn’t?
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I’d have quit in shame! Way to hang in there after such a plunder. First jobs are just a jumping off point for what is to come……
Or a wake-up call to finish school and never wait tables again!
Jennifer´s last blog ..The verdict of the case of the glow in the dark hair…
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I don’t know why I have goosebumps reading that…probably because I can SO imagine myself doing that!! Or maybe because I’m just cold, but really…how do you SLEEP at night!?! Hahahaha…oh you poor poor child.
Mama Kat´s last blog ..Birth Of A Blog
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Oh my God! I am going to be laughing about that for days! I love that you only confessed years later, on your way out the door. Brilliant. I think I would have given myself away by laughing hysterically. Inappropriate laughter has given me away on more than one occasion.
Lucy Cooper´s last blog ..Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Wednesday
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I don’t think I could have kept that a secret! My face would have read guilty, guilty, guilty! Great post!
Sara Broers´s last blog ..Ways this Iowa family is going GREEN!
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LOVED this blog! OMG, I am still laughing about it. I like a clean desktop (pc wise) – HATE icons all over my screen. I always worried about trashing the wrong file or something, so my work computer always felt cluttered.
I am amazed you held out on confessing for that long. Thankfully, they never found out it was you. Can you just imagine how people would have treated you?
Jessica (aka The Unemployed Mom)´s last blog ..Dental Phobia
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
I always get into trouble trashing too much. I just hate clutter too!
And, no. The whole office would have murdered me.
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OMG that’s funny. 3 hour lunches–amazing. I had a job like that–did all the work in 1/3 of the time the others did, etc. Too bad they didn’t have Facebook back then. Or Hulu.com. :)
suzi´s last blog ..Teaching her how to organize..and how to save our sanity…
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Scary Mommy Reply:
November 13th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I can’t even imagine working in an office with the internet. I truly would never, ever get work done!
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OMG, you did NOT really wipe out all the files, did you? And never told until the day you left? I don’t think I could have stood the guilt!
Justine :o )
Justine´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: I Picked Up The Phone…
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Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you trashed all their docs. lmao.
You know what? That’s IT’s fault. You shouldn’t have had access to everything, especially if noone was supervising/training you on your first day. And monthly backups? That’s just lazy. They could have been in the same position if they had a server disk failure. They should be thanking you! :-)
When did I become My Mom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday – Sesame Street… not for preschoolers?
Twitter: trinmom
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those are some ballsy lunch breaks!
thatgirlblogs´s last blog ..Tweet-Tweet, It’s Hank Azaria…
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Wow! How great to have a job where you could take 3 hour lunches! And I totally wouldn’t have fessed up either, lol.
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Happy Weekend! Your visit is a blessing! God Bless!
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OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!!
WidneyWoman´s last blog ..Friday Five
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*GASP!* You didn’t!
Nan´s last blog ..Stylish Hat Wows Cyclists!
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wondering if you can find time to visit me back…happy weekend and God bless
marielle´s last blog ..Hair color trends 2010
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Ha! I wouldn’t have fessed up about crashing the computer either!
cristin´s last blog ..FYF: MWOB Feature!
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Thanks for the laugh – I needed it today.
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Thanks for sharing. You made me laugh!!! Any way I can get that job?
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i think you need to share some anthro tails too… at least to humor me!!! you crack me up!
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kalah Reply:
November 14th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
tales, not tails. am i brain dead or what?!
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Why would you EVER leave such a job????
Seattledad´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: ‘You Asked for More’ Edition
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That sounds like the best job EVER! How in the world did you manage to make everyone let you take 3-hour lunches? They must have just fallen in love with you!
Texan Mama´s last blog ..Meal Rotation
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I love it, I want that job!
I am cracking up thinking of you going to a movie on your lunch break.
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That is really incredible Jill! I’m amazed they didn’t mind you taking such long lunches. Lucky girl. I’m so glad my cubicle days are over!
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