Viral Twitter thread about a way to ward off dudes at the gym is the best thing you’ll see today
As a woman, is there anything more annoying than getting hit on at the gym? Maybe, but it definitely ranks up there with Surprise Period While On Vacation and other similar life horrors. But fear not. One woman has a brilliant solution to escaping gross creeps when you’re sweaty and trapped on a cardio machine with nowhere to go.
Author Olivia A. Cole overheard an exchange between a man and a pair of women at the gym that she just couldn’t keep to herself — and we’re so glad she didn’t.
Ladies, we have a new life coach.
GUYS. Just now. In gym.
*guy approaches two women working out, with flirtatious eyebrows at the ready*
Girl 1: UH you might not want to come over here, dude. I just farted. It’s bad.
Guy: *looks horrified. leaves.*
Girl 2: omg did you really?
Girl 1: psh no.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) January 10, 2018
Cole recounted a conversation between two girls and a guy at the gym who was trying to chat them up — because we all know how much we love getting hit on at the gym, right? Right. You’re sweaty, out of breath, focused on your fitness — clearly the perfect time for a dude to get all up in your zone.
So when the girls saw this Romeo approach, one took the bull by the horns and pretended she’d just let one rip. And OMG, it worked. He left.
If I had to analyze the reason why, it’s probably the shock factor as much as it’s disgust. Men seem to think (or hope?) that women don’t fart. And if they do, they don’t really talk about it.
Guess again, mother fucker.
My personal method is to start loudly singing Mary Poppins songs if a man approaches me while I’m sweating out a few miles on the treadmill, but we all have our go-to defense. And now, we have THE go-to defense. Apparently girl farts are douchebro kryptonite. Who knew?
Twitter was all about this woman’s genius idea for warding off a gym jerk.
GAME CHANGER https://t.co/Pjxk1GHSeC
— Sam❄️ (@WamShitcomb) January 11, 2018
I friggin’ love this.— Robinne Lee (@robinnelee) January 11, 2018
Friendly reminder that 99.9999 percent of women do not want to be approached at the gym. I hear this complaint constantly. It hasn’t happened to me personally because I generally look pretty pissed off about being there. https://t.co/3lmIzxWIpK
— Catherine Sweeney (@CathJSweeney) January 11, 2018
Iconic.— Trudy (@thetrudz) January 10, 2018
"I just farted... oh man that Kale's a KILLA!" pic.twitter.com/A9YpkuLWeU— Her-ur Nulla (@Horus_Xero) January 10, 2018
RECLAIMING TIME, RECLAIMING SPACE https://t.co/cZS61FaEuj
— Molly Dull (@mollydull) January 11, 2018
OLIVIA. pic.twitter.com/FFtwqR7iVs— Sonia Belasco (@SoniaBelasco) January 11, 2018
Some even chimed in to say they’ve actually done it — and it worked for them too.
I have legit farted to make dudes who are TOO CLOSE go away.— Captain Awkward (@CAwkward) January 11, 2018
While others shared their own thoughts on deploying this amazing defense mechanism elsewhere.
I’m going to try this with the protesters outside my local Planned Parenthood— El Cat (@daimondog) January 11, 2018
Ladies, maybe we should try this to start claiming space in business….government….public transit….life….? https://t.co/qDbzBOYCX0
— Katie Hawkes (@K8Ehawkes) January 11, 2018
Cole mentions the woman’s young age as a reason to be even more impressed, and as someone who literally couldn’t bear to fart in front of her husband for about three years, I concur. This girl is wise beyond her years.
And she was only like 21. The CREATIVITY. THE FINESSE.— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) January 11, 2018
The creativity and finesse are undoubtedly impressive, but so is the lack of fucks given on her part. If this young lady were my daughter, I would feel insanely proud. Kudos to her for claiming her space from gross dudes — in any way possible.