At three months pregnant, you’re either one of the lucky ones, basking in the glow of your glorious first trimester (lucky bitch,) or you’re one of the rest of us feeling like you just can’t snap out of the worst hangover of your life.
• Your sense of smell likely feels like it’s on steroids at this point, so try your best not to attack at the lady in the elevator wearing way too much Chanel No.5. She isn’t trying to make you vomit… Really.
• Your formerly young and capable bladder is now that of an 80 year old and your new best friend is the bathroom stall you dart off to 600 times a day. If this isn’t your first pregnancy, you’ve also likely had the oh so fun experience of complete bladder control failure. Unfortunately, things in this department aren’t going to get better any time soon, so you’d be best off investing in a king sized pack of panty liners. You’d also be wise to also invest in a nightlight for your bathroom. By month nine, you’ll be able to navigate it in the pitch black, but for now, some assistance would be wise.
• If you haven’t already shared the news, people around you are probably beginning to wonder if you are, indeed, with child or if you’ve just decided that fat acceptance is the way to go. Teach people who haven’t gotten the memo that you never ask a woman if she’s expecting a lesson by balking at them when they ask.
• You’ll have to make a decision about whether or not to undergo genetic testing, which looks for diseases or conditions which will impact your baby’s life (most commonly: neural tube defects, Down syndrome, chromosome abnormalities, genetic diseases or other conditions, such as Spina Bifida, Cleft Palate, Tay Sachs disease, Sickle Cell Anemia, Cystic Fibrosis and Muscular dystrophy.) The decision to test or not to test is a highly personal one which should be made with your partner and doctor. There is no right or wrong way to handle it.
• Now’s a great time to let your partner know what you expect of him over the next six months. After all, you can’t really blame him for not reading your mind… but you can blame him for not listening to you.
Scary Mommy Tip: Now is a good time to start saying goodbye to any modesty you may have. If your doctor wants you to have an ultrasound at this point, it will be a transvaginal scan and you may blush as the ultrasound tech shoves what looks like a dildo – complete with condom – inside of you. Fast forward five months, though, and you’ll likely be shitting on the delivery table (oh, yes you will) so there’s no point in blushing over that.