To The Unadventurous Moms – Scary Mommy

To The Unadventurous Moms

If I had a parenting label, I would likely be sporting the “unadventurous mom” badge. I loathe camping, fishing is boooooring, hiking requires way too much sweating and most of the time I’d rather read a magazine on a chaise longue under the sun than swim in the cold-ass pool.

If you ARE an adventurous mom, HOORAY!!!! I am (genuinely) happy for you and wish you the best of luck and success on your camping trips, hiking trails and hooking the bait on your kid’s fishing line. But you won’t find me out there, nor will you find me ridiculing you for skipping the awesome new Jurassic World movie and just taking your kids to dig for actual fossils. (I bet you can guess where I’ll be. Hint: Air conditioning and popcorn.)

I really don’t care what you do with your kids. If you’re spending quality time with them, then I think you’re a FANTASTIC mom.

I’m not sure when being an unadventurous mom got such a bad rap. It doesn’t mean I’m a bore. I’m actually pretty funny, nurturing, silly and … well you get the point. I’m fucking awesome, and my kids seem to think so too.

Let’s clear something else up: just because I’m not adventurous doesn’t mean I deprive my kids of adventurous experiences. But there is a chance I might be staying home during some of those excursions, because I am not the only one who can provide those experiences for them. And just because I’m not there every time doesn’t mean I’m an absentee mother; it means I have a trusted support network and appreciate a few hours of free time.

I am very present with my children. And when it comes to the unadventurous times we share, we go all out. I ALWAYS win a staring contest. I can get on the coffee table with the best of ’em and bust out a dance routine that will have my kids rolling on the floor in hysterics. I can make up silly songs off the cuff that my kids ask me to sing over and over again, because they’re THAT COOL.

And I don’t want to brag here, but I am a damn good Memory game opponent. I am also not above telling scary stories around the gas stove while we make s’mores by candlelight. Kids love that shit.

If there are one million things moms can do with their kids and half of them are adventurous, I’m pretty sure my kids are going to be very happy with the other half million things we have to choose from.

We travel, we make paper airplanes, we build forts, we blow bubbles, we play with sidewalk chalk, we go to the park, we kick or throw a ball around, we swim, we make potions, we build train tracks, we play with Tinker Toys, we build sand castles, we draw, we color, we splash in puddles, we go to the movies, and we play make believe.

My kids are lacking nothing. They are well-rounded. They are funny, sweet, kind, gentle, witty, goofy, compassionate, and adventurous. They love their unadventurous mom, and when they really want me to participate in something that’s out of my comfort zone, sometimes I do. And that’s always enough for them.

I know I’m not alone here, and I know other unadventurous moms like me want people to know we aren’t short-changing our kids. We are not boring moms. We are creating memories with them that are as special as the camping and fishing trips, because it’s not about what we do with them; it’s about being with them

So here’s to us, the moms who would rather avoid the mosquitoes and roast marshmallows on the stove, and buy fish from their local market. May you love us, accept us, and treat us as the damn good mothers we are.