Toddler Talk – Scary Mommy

Toddler Talk

You know how they have those CDs that you can that teach you another language? They promise that you can easily learn Spanish, French, even Chinese pretty quickly and easily.

I would like to know where the CDs are for Toddler Talk.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about… Those words you just can’t-for-the-life-of-you understand that the newly-talking human being that use to just coo and smile, now likes to “say”.

The other day my just-turned 2-year old walked up next to me while I was washing some dishes and, with the added obstacle of her pacifier in her mouth said something akin to, “flubber flashish boob.” We went around and around for about a minute before we were both pretty much crying and I never figured out what the hell she was saying. So I just gave her a snack and she was happy.

I’ve heard it’s not good to appease your children with food but in that moment, I didn’t care. Cookies it is!!!

And don’t get me wrong, most of the time she speaks pretty well but there are still times that we have communication problems.

So, I thought it would be helpful to list some of the words and phrases that I think should be on the CDs, should anyone ever decide to produce them…

Oooce = Juice

Moo = milk (at least she has the association right, right?!)

Go Ide! = I want to go slide

Wing Mama! = I want to swing Mom

Me it = I want to do it

MINE! = mine (this one is all about the inflection and I’m just in denial as to what it means)

NOOOOOOOOOOO! = No (also hard to translate on paper but you get the idea)

Ray Ray = Raisins

Shooce = shoes

Brusheeth = brush teeth

Ahside = Outside

Ownt no = I don’t know

Flubber Flashish Boob = ME clueless (translation ideas gladly accepted)

Anyway, I would pay lots and LOTS of monies for CDs that taught this language. I would even spring for an additional set with the subtitle “with pacifier inserted”.

Maybe I’ll just produce them myself and make a ton of money. I mean surely you all would buy them, right? Even if you don’t have toddlers yourself, certainly you know someone who does and needs assistance with translating Toddlerish.

I know I do.