Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
- Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013
You know how they have those CDs that you can that teach you another language? They promise that you can easily learn Spanish, French, even Chinese pretty quickly and easily.
I would like to know where the CDs are for Toddlerish.
Yeah, you know what I’m talking about… Those words you just can’t-for-the-life-of-you understand that the newly-talking human being that use to just coo and smile, now likes to “say”.
The other day my just-turned 2-year old walked up next to me while I was washing some dishes and, with the added obstacle of her pacifier in her mouth said something akin to, “flubber flashish boob.” We went around and around for about a minute before we were both pretty much crying and I never figured out what the hell she was saying. So I just gave her a snack and she was happy.
I’ve heard it’s not good to appease your children with food but in that moment, I didn’t care. Cookies it is!!!
And don’t get me wrong, most of the time she speaks pretty well but there are still times that we have communication problems.
So, I thought it would be helpful to list some of the words and phrases that I think should be on the CDs, should anyone ever decide to produce them…
Oooce = Juice
Moo = milk (at least she has the association right, right?!)
Go Ide! = I want to go slide
Wing Mama! = I want to swing Mom
Me it = I want to do it
MINE! = mine (this one is all about the inflection and I’m just in denial as to what it means)
NOOOOOOOOOOO! = No (also hard to translate on paper but you get the idea)
Ray Ray = Raisins
Shooce = shoes
Brusheeth = brush teeth
Ahside = Outside
Ownt no = I don’t know
Flubber Flashish Boob = ME clueless (translation ideas gladly accepted)
Anyway, I would pay lots and LOTS of monies for CDs that taught this language. I would even spring for an additional set with the subtitle “with pacifier inserted”.
Maybe I’ll just produce them myself and make a ton of money. I mean surely you all would buy them, right? Even if you don’t have toddlers yourself, certainly you know someone who does and needs assistance with translating Toddlerish.
I know I do.
{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }
Hooray, you! Beyond THRILLED to see you here! xo
Galit Breen recently posted..Sitting Curbside
Oh, I longed to speak this language! Love seeing you over here and this? Totally funny.
Sherri recently posted..A Pinch of Love
Thanks Sherri! Glad you like it! )
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Awwwwwwwwwww : )
Aren’t toddlers the cutest? Even if you can’t understand them…
Life with Kaishon recently posted..blessings
They are pretty darn cute. Thank goodness! :)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Yay, good to see you here Elaine!!
I can totally relate, and if you produced that CD, I’ll be first in line to grab it.
My toddler (nearly 2) has a favorite phrase: “Teka teka tah?” Lord knows what he means, but he says it all the time.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Guest Star: Elena of Mommy Is In Timeout
In our house, milk is also ‘moo’! Thank you husband for teaching him milk is from cows.
Unfortunately, a few of my sons words could easily be mistaken for cussing, especially with the pacifier too!
And Elmo and Nemo are both ‘Momo’.
Luckily enough he will point to what he wants when asked.
Megan recently posted..Somebody
My toddler likes to say “nipples” and “butt.” All. The. Time.
Fortunately nipples comes out more like elbows.
Jessica recently posted..She Must Take After Her Father
It’s “nibbles” here instead of nipples. And “poop” and “stooopid” are now are her list too, thanks to her older brothers. *sigh*
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
As long as any nipples in your house don’t LOOK like elbows, Jessica, I wouldn’t be worried.
And good to see, nobody else is sleeping either!
Mrs. AA @ Frenemom recently posted..How to Online Shop Like a Pro
Well… I wrote about that very same topic a few months ago: http://www.cindafuckingrella.com/?p=152
It just goes to show that babies really all are the same – as uniquely wonderful as they are…
cindafuckingrella recently posted..Grilled Aubergine With Goat Cheese
We had a bear of a time translating “foop poops.” Turns out the tot just wanted some more baby crack in the form of Fruit Loops, which I didn’t even know we had in the pantry. I blame my MIL for introducing them. Sigh…
Mrs. MidAtlantic recently posted..And We Ate
Thank GOODNESS that was all it was! HA!
Damn MILs…. ;)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Mine has taken to yell ‘petuniwiniaty’ at random intervals. Can someone please translate that?
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..It is not because I have dyscalculia that I can’t do mathematics
I don’t think anyone could translate that. ;)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Clearly your child has something against petunias.
Erika Marie (@ErikaMarie) recently posted..My Baby Like Whoa
I had that thought too! ha ha!
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
This is awesome, Elaine! Sometimes it can be so frustrating when you don’t kinks what they’re saying!
Loukia recently posted..Holiday giveaway time! (Part two)
My son does the same thing, more so in the last week. It’s so frustrating for both of us when I don’t understand! Fortunately for me, he is good at gestures and “show me’s”.
Cassie recently posted..Good Feeling: Gone!
You are onto something HUGE here. I can help add to it (and expect at least 75% of the royalties):
Appies = grapes (apparently they look like little apples)
Vroom = truck…not car, oh.my.god.not.car.end.of.world.
Wiggles = any electronic device which may or may not be capable of accessing YouTube and the endless video vomit of Wiggles mania
Great post!
MrsDzo recently posted..Mondays. Oh I Hate Mondays.
Love the “Vroom” translation!! We’ll go 50/50, k? ;)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Dylan’s speech is in need of this CD :) Please send two copies ;)
The problem is, there are so many toddler dialects. So lord only knows how many CDs you’d have to produce.
Great piece!
PartlySunny recently posted..While Mac Was Sleeping
I work in a popular children’s clothing store and always try to interact with the kids…sometimes I look at Mom for help with translation. My time to translate is coming soon enough as mine is almost 9 months old. let the Toddlerish begin!
Amanda recently posted..A Break
Good Luck! It’s quite the challenge… ;)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
My 15 month old speaks absolute Japanese. She will go on and on in her gibberish that you know she’s saying something important… probably telling me how to solve the world’s problems but it doesn’t even remotely resemble English. She occasionally says “baby,” “hi,” and other words to appease me, I know it.
Erika Marie (@ErikaMarie) recently posted..My Baby Like Whoa
I would totally love a product like this. I still can’t understand what one of my kids says and he is four.
Congrats on the post here. Loved it. :-)
Jen recently posted..Preschool Volunteering from Hell
Thanks, friend. :)
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
When my son was two, we had one memorable “toddlerish” meltdown at church fellowship. He kept saying “DO IT!” We kept asking “Do what?,” getting more and more agitated. What seemed an eon later, he finally pointed to the refreshment table… to the doughtnuts. Phew!
Owe-Sigh= Inside (we have outside and inside reversed)
Isside= Outside ( ” “)
Firecock= Fire truck (personal favorite, especially when we are in the store)
Bam-bem= Bandaid (the equvilent to stickers)
Cop-dop= cough drop
Moos-it= Move it (usually paired with “Hey BUDDY! MOOSE IT”)
Noog-it= Music
I no like tis one= There are not cartoons on the TV and if you do not change the channel soon I will pitch a fit that will make you pull your hair out.
These are awesome additions for my CDs…. ;D
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
Baguette started using “ow-sigh” for outside fairly early; now she uses it for inside, too. I think “ow-sigh” is actually “whichever side of the door I am not currently on.”
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Traveling with Toddlers
I would totally buy one of those. I hate it when my daughter and I encounter that language barrier…
Amber recently posted..The Blue Recliner.
LOL! I have a 2 yr old with amazing language skills. However for some reason most of the time I am the only one who can tell what she is saying and am often repeating her in “adult english”. It is so funny when she talks to someone and then they look at me like “hunh?” translate please. :)
I have some more to add, courtesy of my almost 3 year old daughter:
pee pop= lollipop
key= cheese
bah cack= bad kitty
ha key= blanky
pee pee herwin= wanting to watch old tapes of Pee Wee’s Playhouse
Alison recently posted..Thanksgiving Leftover Pizza and Roll-Ups
Pee Pee Herwin!?!? Hilarious AND relevant!
Stephanie recently posted..Anthony Wiggle is Making Eyes at Me, or My Descent into Madness After Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom
Ha! She should Skype with my son! I’m pretty sure they’d get along famously.
Stephanie recently posted..Anthony Wiggle is Making Eyes at Me, or My Descent into Madness After Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom
Now THAT would be hilarious!! :D
Elaine recently posted..Please, Won’t You Run Along With Me?
We recently put a big girl bed in my 2 year old’s room along with her toddler bed. The extra bed is for transition and came in handy at Thanksgiving for extra bodies.
Thanksgiving morning my toddler is in her room getting dressed saying “too-ped” too-ped, too-ped, too-ped. My sister and I both tell her that is NOT a nice word and you need to apologize! She says “sorry mommy” and continues to repeat too-ped, too-ped, too-ped. Turns out she was telling me there were TWO BEDS in her room. Stupid Mommy.
Hilarious! I am SO in this boat right now. My two and a half year old still speak toddlerish (with a very strong accent I might add). I have a horrible time understanding her and often don’t even try. Sometimes I am caught completely off guard when she actually DOES say something I can understand.
Of course, I had these same concerns with my oldest (who is now 13) and I can’t get her to shut up. Sigh. Guess there’s no happy-medium for this Mama. :-)
HA! This made me laugh!! Great post. My almost two year old demands MEEEWEEWEE = mini wheats.
One of my favorites my niece says is “Yelcome” which translates to “you’re welcome.” So quick and casual.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..I Can’t Believe I like Grease 2
I would love to have that translation. I need to know what “pickle foss” is. One of my daughter’s favorite phrases. It comes up often and I have never been able to discover any common trend that would lend a clue to the meaning. I am beginning to wonder if it is the name of her imaginary friend?
Rachael recently posted..A Non-Domestic Thanksgiving
So funny. My 7 year old kept insisting he wanted to go to Pokeo last week.
Pokemon? No!
Poker? No!! What’s that?
The Keys, the Florida keys?? NOOO!
Turns out it was Tokyo…where Pokemon is created! Big sigh of relief when we discovered that one!
Johanna recently posted..The Fulfillment Project Does Downward Facing Dog
I have no kids.
BUT. I so understand this. It’s worse when it’s NOT your kid.
And the parent looks at you like, “What? You don’t get that??”
Don’t limit your CD sales to just those with kiddos…cause it’s harder on those of us that don’t have an ear for toddlerish.
I mean, ownt no how ya’ll do it. =)
Carrie recently posted..If I’m not full of gumbo, messy and fighting for the remote, I’m not home for the holidays.
Baguette has started using long strings of syllables. She uses them very intently. And she does this with a pacifier in her mouth. So I usually just say “Yes, I agree,” which I always fear will wind up with me on the Today Show in a puffy shirt, like Jerry Seinfeld.
Until quite recently, she used our dog’s name for all animals. And I mean all–other dogs, horses, sharks, capybara, you name it. So it took me a minute recently when she pointed at a picture of a rooster to realize that she wasn’t saying “Wicket,” but “chicken.”
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Traveling with Toddlers
It’s amazing how important babbling and almost-words are to children’s development. It’s funny, I don’t remember my typical kid (or my kid with autism for that matter) having those funny words, but I guess they must have! Although I still have to translate sometimes for my older son! Thanks for sharing…
Oh I just love toddlerish, or as I called it Austinese (after my youngest who jibber-jabbered leaving my husband and I as translators).
My older one not so much but he did have a strange one. Medish = candy. We finally figured out that he thought medicine was candy! He had so many ear infections and the antibiotics tasted like bubble gum! Oh and he called gas, ass. So when daddy needed gas, he needed to go to the ass station. We got a kick out of that one.
I can sympathize though if you don’t understand what your kidlet is saying. That is frustrating. And giving them something yummy to eat, well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do! ;-)
Pamela D Hart recently posted..An Organized Pack Rat & An Early Old Gift
Babies really have their own Lingo, my 16 month old boy keeps talking to his elder sister in some nice and weird sounding language but they seem to understand each other.
Wait for another few months it will sound different….:)
Linda
Bud used to say “elephanaphent” for elephant, which was incredibly cute, but no one knew what he was talking about. He still has times that David doesn’t understand what he is saying, but I can usually figure it out.
Jennifer recently posted..What would you wish for?
Our oldest used to translate for our younger two when I couldn’t understand. It was nice to have a bilingual child in the family :)
Recovering Supermom recently posted..Black Friday Survival Guide
I wish there was a manual too. I started to record what my daughter was saying and I love looking back at it.
Tis = Kiss (I get this one)
Uts = Daddy (Never understood this one)
Carolyn recently posted..Good Gifts Gone Bad (Link Up with Prize)
Thanks for the lovely sharing, i will record mine too.
Thanks Sherri! Glad you like it! )
Thanks for the lovely sharing, i will record mine too.
My toddler just started speaking this week… last week it was only a few words, now it’s full sentences and most of the time I have NO idea what he is saying, so sign me up for one of those CDs… no wait! sign me up for a dozen for stocking stuffers, right?
tanu=thank you
ah don lie da= I don’t like that
ga= dog
bub bub=dog
meh=dog
And I accidentally stumped my daycare ladies, who understand him better than I do, but they listen to toddlers all day long. They’re learning animal sounds at daycare. We were watching Nemo so I taught him that the fish says “glub, glub”. He ran around all the next day at daycare shouting “glub glub!” Had my daycare ladies stumped.
And what does “Mom, eh na oo ah ca boo ma” mean???
Mommy Shove recently posted..November 29, 2011 ~ Hello Yeyow
Oh my word I love this so much and my 2 year old says many of the same things. xo
tracy recently posted..WIN! Disney on Ice Presents Treasure Trove – Minnesota Ticket Giveaway!
Brilliant.. my two are in their early teens and I still remind them about the words they had problems with.,.. hostittipple,libraley,sauswige,,currining pencil,
Libby recently posted..Disaster Preparedness
ox soup = ice cream.
i dunno.
2 is a strange place…
nicolette @ momnivore’s dilemma recently posted..My Favorite Thinnnnnnngs: {under $30}-
This is hilarious! Congrats for being here today! :-)
Good luck with your race!
PoPo= pillow
Wahwah=water