Toddlers: The One Word Answer to Any Question – Scary Mommy

Toddlers: The One Word Answer to Any Question

Many people have pondered the question, “What is the meaning of life?” Some say it is to love others and be loved in return. Others say it is to make a million dollars on a reality show. As for me, I’m too tired from my kids sucking the life force out of me to answer that question.

What I can do for you, though, is give you an answer to many, many other questions. If you’re the mom of a running, smiling, nap-refusing, tantrum throwing little one, I can answer just about any question you ask with one word:

Toddlers.

Don’t believe me? Have you ever asked these questions?

What is that smell? Toddlers.

Why am I so tired? Toddlers.

Who took my socks? Toddlers.


Why is there a stain on my coat? Toddlers.

Who’s in bed next to me? Toddlers.

What happened to all the Post-Its? Toddlers.

Why is there something floating in my water? Toddlers.

Why do I have to make dinner every night? Toddlers.

How did I get so many gray hairs? Toddlers.

Who ate my sandwich? Toddlers.

What do I talk about with the grocery clerk? Toddlers.

Why am I up so early? Toddlers.

Why can’t I sleep? Toddlers.

Why am I sitting here watching Super Why by myself? Toddlers.

Why is my house such a mess? Toddlers.

What is that noise? Toddlers.

Who put my hairbrush in the toilet? Toddlers.

Who peed on the couch? Toddlers.

Why is there pudding in my hair? Toddlers.

Why am I always forgetting things? Toddlers.

Who colored on the walls? Toddlers.


Why haven’t I showered this week? Toddlers.

Why can’t I get any work done? Toddlers.

Why does my car look like a Goldfish graveyard? Toddlers.

How did a banana get in my shoe? Toddlers.

Who’s in charge of my life? Toddlers.

One word. Two syllables. The answer to almost any question you can ask. You’re welcome.

Related post: 25 Easy Ways To Annoy A Toddler

Toni Hammer chronicles her mommy misadventures at Is It Bedtime Yet? and spends too much time on Facebook and Twitter. She writes for Scary Mommy, Babble, The Huffington Post and other sites that she can't remember because she's exhausted from being a SAHM to two toddlers. She drowns her mommy guilt in copious amounts of coffee and Diet Coke.