14 Painfully (And Hilariously) True Posts About Marriage

14 Painfully (And Hilariously) True Posts About Marriage

Hedger Humor

Most of us, when we first marry, think we know what we’re getting ourselves into. We read books and articles, we pump our long-married friends and relatives for golden nuggets of advice, and we mentally prepare ourselves to be the most understanding and compromising partner ever. Anger and resentment? Not us. Stereotypes? Never.

But then, after a few years, reality smacks us in the face like a stale wedding cake, and we find ourselves succumbing to pretty much every bad stereotype ever. Luckily, and with a little help from hilarious marrieds on social media, we can laugh about it.

Remember how we thought we’d sleep tangled up in one another like a pair of boa constrictors? No.

Or how we were so sure we would never become an embarrassing stereotype?

We think we’re seeing a pattern here:

We discover that, yes, laundry really does replace sexy times:

And that we really can’t stop ourselves from being a passenger-seat driver:

But one clear benefit of being married for a while is knowing each other so well it’s almost…scary:

We bond over our mutual feelings of superiority to other, clearly inferior, marrieds:

We become familiar with the paradox of being willing to die for one another, but with petty caveats:

We discover the necessity of the “why I fell in love” mantra:

We learn to deliver the lowest of blows with only a couple of words:

Or even just one word:

And that one of you is going to be way messier than the other, and there is honestly no way to fix this:

Familiarity causes our priorities to shift:

But we also learn that certain disagreements mean we’re actually doing pretty damn well:

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