Almost a year ago, I wrote a post that I called “The Terrible Threes.” My opening words were something like “Are parenting experts actually… parents? Being one myself, I have a serious bone to pick with them: The “terrible twos” are crap…” I went on and on to talk about what a joy the twos were and how hellish the threes turned out to be. Blah, blah, blah. Well, today, I’m rescinding my words. I was sorely mistaken.
My dearest third child is approaching two and a half, and the last thing I would describe him as is “adorable, chocolate covered sweetness.” Yes, he is adorable, and sweet. Dangerously so. But he is also the biggest pain in the ass in the universe.
When he eats, he doesn’t gently push aside his plate when he is satiated, he throws it on the floor and laughs about the mess. He haphazardly grabs whatever snack he wants and leaves chaos in his wake. He removes his diaper in upscale stores and abandons it on the floor. Bath time is more like a flood and he sky dives off of any high surface he can find. He instigates fights with his siblings and bursts out in laughter when I reprimand him. He is a walking disaster and every misbehavior is followed by a smile that makes it impossible to stay angry at him.
The latest battle is bedtime. We ditched his crib when we moved, thinking he was ready for a big boy bed. {Big mistake}. I got into the bad habit of laying down with him and singing his lullabies, since we also got rid of the glider. Apparently to a two year old, that means that we will shall now be roommates. The first few days, it was endearing when he held my face and demanded that I lay down with him. Now? Not so cute. He storms out of his room when he gets lonely. He screams in my face when I don’t escort him back upstairs and stay with him. When I do fall asleep with him, the moment I wake up and attempt to move to my bed, he is awake and alert. Short of handcuffing him to the bed, I’m not sure what else I can do.
So, how does this work? If two is terrible, surely three is a breeze, right? RIGHT?
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{ 154 comments }
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
The twos were a breeze with Kaish, but the three…HOLY WOW!
Guess what, even at age 10 Kaish still likes me to lay with him when he falls asleep. And then, I fall asleep and don’t want to do one more blessed thing after I wake up. Darn it!
He sure is cute though. Oh my goodness he is so cute.
PS I think handcuffs might be a perfect thing! : )
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Kids Night Out =-.
Our #3s must be about the same age, and I am finding myself completely and utterly outgunned by her. The other two kids were PIECES OF CAKE compared to her, and I thought *they* were pretty intense.
The insouciant laughing after each transgression is what’s killing me. It’s all sunshiny smiles or Category Five Hurricane-level tantrums around here. I’ll be checking back daily to see if ANYONE here comments to promise it’ll get better. :)
.-= Kirsten´s last blog ..Control Yourself =-.
Ha. You’re describing my 15 month old. Who knew she was so far ahead of the game? :/
I agree with Kirsten. It’s the laughing that does me in. Really? You’ve terrorized the cat, broken three dishes that were supposedly put out of your reach, and discovered the adult movie pay per view channels on cable. Yes, I suppose you would find this to be COMPLETELY HYSTERICAL.
Sending strength or wine your way–whichever you prefer.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls — A Review =-.
Exactly! The laughing is psychotic!!!
This really made my day! I’ve been having the toughest time with daughter #2 and her complete lack of control. I thought yesterday was going to be the day I died of frustration, but then today came again. Hmm… Terrible 2′s and 3′s suck.
-Elise, babybites.com blog editor & social media director
That’s a smile that can melt any anger for sure LOL! My 3 yrs old is a nightmare, he’s getting bossy and the stubbornness is hitting all time high which make it so hard to deal with, sometimes I feel like I could throw him out of the window.
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..Kartini Today, Are Those Shackles Off? =-.
With my oldest I remember the 2′s being pretty smooth. 3 was definitely a more difficult year (still is since she doesn’t turn 4 until June). However, a friend of my husband’s told him, “terrible two’s are nothing. Wait until the F#*@ing Fours”
So…I guess you are screwed :)
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Earth Day: Changing the planet one blog at a time =-.
I SO agree with your husband’s friend!!! My oldest is just shy of 4 1/2 and HOLY S@%t is she horrible. At that age, they know how to really put words together to hurt and push buttons (at least my daughter is)….May the force be with you ☺
I think that you get one or the other, so by three you should be good! Mine was an angel at two, but totally got an attitude once he turned three. And he still kinda has one sometimes and he turned 4 almost 2 months ago!
.-= The Mommyologist´s last blog ..Poop: A Fine Dinner Party Topic =-.
I’d love to advise you, but given my 2 year old has slept firmly between us in a bed he calls ‘his’ for a year now, I’m clearly in no position to give advice. The inmates always take over the asylum.
Can you pawn him off on the other two at night? Sleeping with big bro could be really cool, right?!?!
The boys share a room, but he still screams his fucking head off. It’s amazing that Ben hasn’t thrown him out the window.
I am amazed my 9 year old hasn’t done the same thing to his middle little as well. Maybe I should put safety glass in, just in case.
So maybe I have it a teensy bit easier with my own 2.5 year old #3 (scratch that, he’s just 6 weeks!? away from 3years old *sniff*) but he totally has that “Oh my gosh Mom & Dad! You guys are so funny when you tell me to stop hitting my sisters/bulldozing grown ups down to the floor via head to crotch/tearing up everyone’s art project/standing on top of the couch so I can jump off/pouring water on the floor/writing on the wall and all the other things I did between breakfast and lunch today!”
I’m not sure turning 3 will help, maybe when he’s turning the key to his own place… but I’ll take the terrible 2′s over thinking about that day!
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..9 years 11 months =-.
Oh great, you have just described the behaviour of my one year old (ok 13 month year old to be exact). This is just full of promises for the future….
Yup. You’re screwed.
YES! YES! YES! Nothing but agreement here! But, sad to say the 4 year old big sis still has her relapses into two year old terror. My hubby has this theory that they’re not called the “terrible twos” because of the onset time frame, but the length you can expect it to last! My little man is just barely 2 1/2 and the most curious walking contridiction I’ve ever seen in all my 33 years…and I thought his sister was bad….I’m begging for a padded room for the next 2 years!
I’m so sorry that I laughed throughout this entire post. .. :) And handcuffs are a BIT inhumane. Try duct tape.
.-= tracey´s last blog ..A post about a post… =-.
oh dear! He sounds like a blast! I agree with the 3 thing though…I always thought the same thing. Asher is 3 1/2 now and ….wow.
.-= Sara @ domestically Challenged´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
I may sound like a bad mommy, but with my first, we had to put a lock on her door because she would get up and wander the house in the middle of the night. She used to watch the Disney channel at 3:00a. When the second came around, we didn’t but a lock on her door, but put an alarm on the door. When she tries to run out after she is put to bed, the alarm goes off…really LOUD. She doesn’t like this. It only happened once.
.-= Lanita @ A Mother’s Hood´s last blog ..Spectically Speaking =-.
I wish I could tell you it’s going to be fine but I can’t get your hopes up like that. It would be cruel.
from what I gather watching my own 3rd child, take what you had with the first 2 and combine it in a smaller package.
Better get some hip-waders, your gonna need them.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..The Tactless Wonder, a One Woman Show =-.
LOL! And here I was contemplating a post offering a free three-year-old! I’ve been moaning about how quickly I forgot how WHINY three-year-olds are.
.-= TeacherMommy´s last blog ..To Tell the Tooth =-.
My youngest son turns 4 tomorrow so we will be done with the 3′s. The 2′s & 3′s weren’t that bad with either of my sons. Now that I’ve said that, with my luck I’ll experience the F*#!ing Fours with my son :-)
.-= drlori71´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
i went through this difference with my first and second. now my first is 3 (and a major asshole) and my second is 2 (and a major asshole). can’t win.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..This One’s All About The Little Guy. =-.
My husband always refers to Evan as The Asshole. I’m glad he’s not the only one. :)
My niece was the most wonderful, beautiful 2 yo, by 3 I didn’t know her anymore; she was liek the devil child. This lasted until 5. Now she is the most wonderful, beautiful, just turned 14, yo!!!!
Now my 2 yo nephew is proving that 2s are bad. He just got kicked out of the babysitters for biting. How embarrassing!!! I feel so bad for my sister. I just can’t wait till he takes his diaper off and runs around in public! Maybe it’s a boy thing. Now the f!#@#ing fours sound interesting!
I’ve heard that 2.5-3.5 is the worst, it gets better after that.
Have you tried a baby gate in front of your sons door? That will keep him from wondering through the house when he’s supposed to be sleeping.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..A Matter of Hope (Guest Post) =-.
I need to try that. It’s really the only thing left.
Baby gate?! Don’t get your hopes up, my 3 yr old was climbing over them at 2, at 3 it just becomes something to jump off of. My 3 yr old sleeps with us (which sucks) and he still manages to get out of the bed without me knowing. At 2 1/2 he got out of my bed managed to unlock 2 locks go outside and stand in the middle of the street ( we live in a small neighborhood luckily ) Fortanutley my neighbor saw him and brought him right back and woke me up. I immediatly put extra locks on, which did the trick for going outside. Maybe try an alarm for the bedroom door, that will usually scare them back to bed and you will know also.
Fortunately for you, I wrote about how to beat them at their own game this week: http://gnmparents.com/time-for-your-own-bed-sleepyheads
Cuz I have been through this with stinky little boys, enough times.
.-= Nan´s last blog ..Swamped! =-.
Sounds about right. My youngest girl will be 2 in June, and I can see it starting already… Still not sure I wouldn’t trade your TWO for my TEN, though…
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Are You There, God? It’s Me, Fourth Grade Parent =-.
We switched our son to a bed around 2 yrs 10 mos. Biggest mistake ever. Hate to tell you, but it took a good 6 mos before he was sleeping in it, independently, happily. One thing we tried which worked great for awhile was a bed tent. It’s like a tent for camping, that fits over a twin mattress. It made his bed into a fort which he loved, and we told him that we didn’t fit inside, which he believed.
A very smart friend of mine suggested turning the doorknob around so you can lock him in. We were about to try it when he started staying put. (We had previously tried a childproof doorknob cover, but he knows how to dismantle those.)
I think if your 2 yo is nice (like mine was) then you have hell to pay at 3. But maybe if your 2 yo is hell, you can breeze through the 3′s? Here’s hoping!
Six months? SIX months??? I want to cry.
Oh, and I want to add, that I have often considered stuffing my 3 yo’s pockets with $20′s and offering him to a good home!
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Bad Estimates =-.
I have a four year old and a three year old. The four year old throws fits and screams and is moody. The fours are fierce and not in a good way, and so far this has been true with all of my children as they turned four. I have five kids, so I hope this tidbit of info doesn’t scare you.
.-= It’s a Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..RTT: There is a quiz at the end to see if you are paying attention =-.
–>Bless your heart. I think the two’s were easy compared to the three’s because of THE TANTRUMS.
.-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – You’re a grand old flag =-.
Okay, I’m still bleary eyed from my 5:00am wake up call–two year old twin boys refusing to go back to bed. Your post really hit home and managed to make me laugh out loud despite my lack of sleep.
We are seriously considering handcuffing them to their toddler beds:)
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Semi-Wordless Wednesday… =-.
OK, I feel better. At least I don’t have two 2 year old devils– I simply can’t imagine!!
Yeah, threes are horrible, twos ain’t much better. I have one who does the food throwing thing, and I can’t stand it. My kid thinks it’s hilarious and I can’t get him to stop. So at least you know you aren’t alone. :)
My 3 year old is almost 4 and still going strong. So I think you’re just in for a treat. My daughter, who isn’t 2 yet, is already a troublemaker herself. So I think we’re both in for a treat, actually.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Just Mommy, the Spectator =-.
oh my GOD! this sounds a lot like my son – except without the “big boy” bed…yet. conner just turned 1 and he already is acting like a hellion. addi my 4 year old – she was easy breezey, lemon squeezy. 3′s were a bit tough, i’ll admit. but day-um! conner (aka Destructo in our house) is a CRAZY man. maybe it’s a boy thing?? i dunno. but i fear my life…and conner’s for that matter.
Ah, sweet thing. I do understand. My girls never had terrible twos, but they had hideous threes and defiant fours.
I am not dealing with a defiant little lady who thinks that the potty is the Devil’s Instrument. I am pricing her to sell, also. Do you think we could lump our children together and offer a discount?
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..The Spring Dessert You Need =-.
Ohhh, that’s a really good idea. Let’s do it.
*now* not “not.” Sorry. Lazy hands.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..The Spring Dessert You Need =-.
It’s the terrible twos and the terrifying threes! You’re lucky I had 2 years of hell with the twins were ever so thankful when they hit four. I didn’t even know you could get one good year in there.
Currently my almost three year old sounds like your 2 1/2.
.-= MamaOtwins+1´s last blog ..When twins figure out there IS an "oldest" child =-.
Oh goodness, my toddler is pretty much the same age. Wow! It is tough getting him to stay in his bed. Sometimes it takes 2 hours before he is asleep and stays asleep without someone in there with him. But then, half the time he comes into our room in the middle of the night. Or we find him asleep on the floor next to the bed – so sad.
I keep telling myself, this too shall pass and some day I’ll look back with nostalgia. Maybe?
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..My Latest Addiction… =-.
Or, maybe not. :)
We are right there with you – 3′s were easy with our first two but our third totally DE-fined the phrase “terrible two’s”. It makes sense though – they have to assert (as in: cause others to recognize their rights and position in the family) themselves somehow!
I went through this (not staying in his toddler bed when he was 2) also with my third. The thing that finally worked was to read books to him while he *laid in bed. (*important!) Then I would tell him that I had to go do something and would be “right back” and that he could look at a book (lamp on). When I came back I would quietly pick up toys, put clothes away, or just fidget around in his room. Sometimes he watched me for a little bit and then fell asleep but sometimes he was already asleep when I came back. I had to do this for a few nights and then he just got in the habit of staying in his bed and looking at pictures in his books after I read him 2-3 books while he laid there.
Good luck though – it is the hardest and most frustrating thing in the world, I know!!
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Template Indecisiveness =-.
It’s funny, just the other day I was grouching to my hubby about our 15-mo-old’s sleep habits and we concluded, “Well at least he’s not 2 1/2 yet…that’s when all hell breaks loose.”
Good luck!
.-= Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole´s last blog ..Siblinghood =-.
You are right on. I actually think this hell sets in at the 1/2 tick-mark (2 1/2, 3 1/2) and just before the 3rd birthday.
With the twins, the hubster and I often said we’d put them out in a basket ala kittens on the driveway with a sign “Free to a Good Home.”
One memorable Zoo trip, (“Let’s runaway from Mommy & Daddy and play hide and go seek in the Flamingo Pool or sulk in the stroller and randomly screech like mental patients,”) my husband was one Black sharpie away from making the sign except omitting the “Good.”
“Free to a Home”
It’s now the benchmark of the most abominable behavior.
My most horrible week:
Husband out of town (in Barbados on business, calling me after his morning dip in the ocean… God-love the man, but what a unknowingly-bastard move) while planning the mini-wedding-but-it’s-a-birthday-for-three-year-old-twins-and-I’m-Martha-Stewart-perfect-mommy-oh-and-I’m-potty-training-someone-shoot-me, my twin son does the following in a 3-day period up to the DAY of his 3rd birthday:
- Runs in front of a bus pretending to be Office Michael from “Make Way For The Ducklings”- I’ve got his twin sister on the porta potty, only the screams from the other mothers in the playgroup alert me. I spank him repeatedly in public. Double crap.
- Gets lost on a 5 acre farm, complete with 18th century pits for drainage, ticks galore, coyotes and a creepy overgrown cemetery. Helping me search for him for 15 mins (All the while I’m thinking, “I going to have to call my husband and tell him I lost him, AND then I’ll be THAT Mom on CNN with the lame excuse….”) was 2 very pregnant woman and one with a newborn. By minute 10 I was a mess, and when one of the other Moms yelled “I found him” I was full-blown freakin’. He was quietly playing in a dark nook in the house. Had he heard me screaming his name? Yes. Why didn’t he come out? “I was playing.” I was promptly given 2 glasses of wine by another mother.
- Final incident- play-yard of one of the aforementioned moms, new swing set. Son climbs up, but there’s still bubble wrap on the monkey bars, plus he’s two. I go in, (the other mom says she’d watch,) to check out her newly done, drool-worthy basement/Man-town/Gym. I hear screams and ANOTHER mom rushing to my kids aid, who… wait for it…. wait for it… has belly-flopped off the monkey bars, knocking the wind out of him. Hysterically crying. The mom on watch? “I swear I just turned my head to XYZ.” I know. At this point I was ready to turn myself in as an un-fit parent, obviously I’m ill-equiped for the job. My host delivered sushi and saki to my door.
Frankly by end of Day 3, I really I didn’t know if it was either him or me that was going to make it to the mini-wedding-but-it’s-a-birthday-for-three-year-old-twins-and-I’m-Martha-Stewart-perfect-mommy-oh-and-I’m-potty-training-someone-shoot-me that I was going to stay up until 3 am hot glue-gunning pom-pons on boxes for favors. Him or me. One of us was going.
Free to a home.
.-= Betsy´s last blog ..32 Refections From The Potty =-.
OK, I now have hope. If you survived that, maybe I’ll be able to!!!
Handcuffs probably won’t work. He could slip his too cute little hands out of them. Use that guaze wrap stuff. Tie one ankle to the bedpost. Then he won’t strangle himself when he’s rolling around. And don’t laugh, because I know for a fact it works…..
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Spare Tires =-.
OK, I’ll take your word for it!
My almost 3 year old sounds like Maureen’s. He’s starting to get ultra bossy, won’t listen to anything we say until we threaten and then stand up to come after him, and is BEYOND stubborn. The whole potty training is disastrous. Ugh… They say teenagers are worse than this – I hope he gets it out of his system now!
I think they all go through a time – just depends on when they decide they’re ready to show their independence.
.-= Momma Drama´s last blog ..Hubby’s Girlfriend Died =-.
He’s so cute. seriously. they’re always cute when you can hand them back once they start screaming.
I called my mother a few months back because I was babysitting for the 2 yo I sit every week. WHOA boy. Standing in her crib SCREAMING at me. Everything I did offended her. Couldn’t change her diaper. Couldn’t read her a book but couldn’t NOT read her a book. She wanted to be in my arms but in her crib while reading but while holding the book in her pjs but not letting me change her… all at once. and my mom said “three is worse” I think I almost hung up on her.
Seriously, the attitude that oozes out of their tiny little bodies. “GO ‘WAY MOLLY. GO WAY!” she’ll yell. it’s hilarious. and also terrifying.
.-= Molly´s last blog ..One year =-.
Totally hilarious and terrifying at once. How can they fit that much emotion in those little bodies?!
Oh goodness I laughed SO hard when I read your terrible three post. Molly started becoming a pain in the ass around 2 and a half. Now that she is almost 3 and a half, I MISS 2. She is uncooperative, mouthy, whiny, and everything starts a fit.
The other day we went to the mall and in the pet store they let us hold these ADORABLE baby bunnies and when it was time to go, Little Miss didn’t understand that we couldn’t take them home, after I explained to her over and over and over that we couldn’t. So it was a full blown tantrum right in the mall and I swiftly escorted her out. She’s thrashing and screaming and head butts me right in the mouth. This all coming on the same day as the first time she kicked me. Mind you, I do NOT accept these behaviors and she got an instant time out for the kick, especially since it was deliberate (she had tried once and missed, so did it again!). We do not spank her at all. Sometimes I’d LOVE to, but I don’t because I know I’d feel horrible. I hope 4 is better, I’ve heard mixed reviews. UGH!!!
I actually think 4 is pretty good. At least it is for my son. Maybe I blocked it out from my daughter.
bajeezes, he’s like a little man! I just wrote something recently about my dog. I had not takers, btw.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Tip of the Day: =-.
I am in total agreement about this! My daughter was a bit tricky during the 18-20 month period, but from 2-3 was relatively easy. And then 3 hit and it was hell until very recently (turning 5 in a few weeks). So many opinions, so little time! She is getting better now, showing glimpes of reason and maturity, less tantrums.
With my boys, from the month after they turned 2, it’s been off the charts insanity. I remember last Easter (2 weeks after their 2nd birthday) they were so out of control, we had to leave a family Easter dinner. It has gone downhill ever since. They are about one month into 3 and I’m not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel for them, anytime soon. I’ve resigned myself to it being like this for another 1-2 years with them.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..William the Artiste =-.
God help me…dear GOD HELP ME!!!!
WHAAAAA…WHAAAA….
Q-Tip is only 17 months and I already want to pinch her cheecks off. And she’s really not that bad! But the drama…and the attitude.
WHAAAA….WHAAAA….
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
.-= Megan´s last blog ..The Time Has Come…For Dental Hygiene =-.
Oh my gosh! Are we raising the same child? I think so, since they’re both like, the same age (well, my youngest turned 2 in January, but still) and they’re both super cute, but OMG! THEY ARE TERRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE OMG! The destruction! Their lack of being able to listen to us! THEY ARE SO BOSSY! And whiny! And messy! SIGH. Good Luck, mama. MISS YOU JILL! oxox
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..The importance of unlearning =-.
The laying down with them just gets worse if you don’t stop it. I know it is hard.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Change is a comin’ =-.
put a door gate in the door to his bedroom, i too laid down with my son, and it soon turned into the same mess. i eventually put the gate in the door and left him up there until he tuckered himself out and went to sleep. hard to listen to, but it only too 1-2 weeks to break the cycle.
Using a baby gate in his doorway is actually a great way to deal with this. Remember, too, like every phase, it’s temporary and no matter what you do, it passes. You may succeed in dealing with it, you may fail, he’ll still grow up and live a perfectly happy life, regardless. My daughter was the queen of “Come back, Mommy. Check on me!” And I did, repeatedly until I couldn’t take it anymore because all I wanted was to go downstairs and have a half hour of peace and quiet after putting three to bed. Now, she’s 27, and hasn’t asked me to “Check on” her in quite a while. Truth be told, I’d go back there in a heartbeat. Well, more truth? Only for a day. We blog together and if you read our blog, you’ll see why with Tamra, it’s a one-day trip back at most! :)
.-= Debby Carroll´s last blog ..How Rude! =-.
Oh. my. gosh. TOO funny!! Being the mom of two boys, ages 8 and 4, I can honestly say, 2 is bad, 3 is worse and the beginning of 4 sucks!! LOL. Hang in there and take lots of pictures to bribe him as a teenager!!
We’re in 3 1/2 hell. If you’ve read any of the Louise Bates Ames books (Your One Year Old, Your Two Year Old, etc) they tell you that each age has an equilibrium (usually the first half of the year) and the second half of the year is in disequilibrium. So here’s to getting over the hump!
We went through the EXACT same thing when we transitioned my son to his bed at two. He would demand story after story and want us to lay down with him and tell him more stories. Eventually it ended. I think we used “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child” to get us over it. We would put my son to bed and tell him “Remember the rules: we lay down, close our eyes, and stay in bed until the sun comes up.” We had a few bumps in the road with PTing and a new sibling at 30mo, but honestly all is pretty easy at bedtime now. So there is hope!
Ummmm…this post scares the $hit out of me!!! My 20 month old is starting public tantrums…going limp alternating with going stiff…completely irrational actions for no good reason…violence (usually against me)…and banging his head on the floor during storytime (yes, there are rug burns to prove it). You are telling me it get worse??? Hmmm…drinking with lunch? Is it a problem? Or a solution?
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Peek A Boo! =-.
Oh, the going limp/going stiff thing is terrible. And, yes, I am passing you a drink.
My daughter was a NIGHTMARE at two.
And I hate to tell you this, WORSE at three.
.-= Zak´s last blog ..When We Ride =-.
Laalaaalaaalaaalaaa. I am covering my ears.
I am right in the middle of 3 yro boy hell with my third (and final) child. Everyday is a NIGHTMARE. People keep telling me it will get better? WHEN, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE??
.-= Peaches´s last blog ..Apple of My Eye. =-.
god i wish i could just throw my plate on the floor when i’m done and laugh out loud. that must be fucking heaven.
.-= vanillasugar´s last blog ..carrot cake w/ white chocolate ganache =-.
My first one was a breeze. She was such a joyful kid. Normal temper tantrums…I guess. So when I had my second I thought hey I can handle this. But I swear she breaks records for blood curdling screams and public outbursts. She takes terrible twos to whole new level.
And the bedtime routine don’t even get me started…
.-= This Mama Works It!´s last blog ..Money Saving Tips: Reuse, Repurpose, Before You Repurchase… =-.
Just for the record, we were the kind of parents that put up a gate so BigBoy had to stay in his room at nighttime. Husband convinced me that it’s just like his crib, but larger. Good luck. I hated 2 1/2 with BigBoy and now I have BabyD coming up on it.
.-= NotJustAnotherJen´s last blog ..Idol Wednesdays: Inspired Much? =-.
I think it’s been said before, and I’m sure you know on some level, but 3 is harder. They can TALK more and try to actually NEGOTIATE (my absolute least favorite part of communicating with my speaking children).
As for nighttime, try to make it how you want it to be now, because it really will only get more difficult. We are finally not roommates with our children, but they still ask if we’ll “snuggle” some nights. I always feel a leeeetle bit mean when I say, “Not tonight.” Because I’m thinking, “Not on your life, you sneaky little shorty.”
Hang in there!
.-= Momalom Jen´s last blog ..Happy Earth Day! =-.
LOL, I know. I’m such a sucker at bedtime because all I want to do is SLEEP and it’s just easier to give in.
With an insane 2.5 year old of my own, I can’t even begin to give you advice. At least you have two older kids to prove that you are capable of raising kids right. I’m the loser that has the tantrum-throwing, not-minding, running away from me, screaming, fights all efforts at her hygiene (bathing/teethbrushing/diaper changing), won’t eat, won’t sit still for a moment toddler. I love her, she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and she makes my life absolutely miserable about half the time.
So you wanna have a playdate? :)
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Table Topics Tuesday: SHOPPING! =-.
Yes to the playdate. Maybe they’ll cancel each other out?
I thought 4 was by far the hardest age. Sorry.
.-= jodifur´s last blog ..I Could Really Use A Favor =-.
I’m pretty sure 2.5 is part of the 3s…
My oldest is two and a half and you described my daughter to a T when you described your son. Everyone keeps telling me that the threes are worse, but I’m thinking…seriously, how can it even get any worse!! Uggh!
.-= Tina´s last blog ..Download My Price Book! =-.
I’m sorry were you talking about your 3rd child or mine? Same exact issues across the board but especially with bedtime. In fact, he is up well past his bedtime now b/c I dread it so much. If you find something that works, please, please, PLEASE share it with me.
Also, laughed out loud at the “Apparently to a two year old, that means that we shall now be roommates.” I can also relate to this- I made the big mistake of lying down with my son for nap time and I am paying dearly now. At first I loved it when he started saying, “I need a nappy with my mommy.” Now? I am over it.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Snowman Spreaders and Stolen Lattes =-.
It’s so sweet at first, isn’t it? And so very easy to get sucked in to their manipulative ways.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but threes are much worse than twos. This is the point where all that Lamaze breathing crap might actually be helpful to keep you from going berzerk.
But the good news is, it gets much better – at least until they turn thirteen and then hell breaks loose all over again. More good news though, fourteen is better. Now, like all of my years of parenting, I’m waiting to see what happens next. . .
.-= mom, interrupted´s last blog ..Discovered! =-.
Really? So, what, 7-12 is bearable? Because Lily is 6 and she ain’t no picnic.
Almost 4 years in, I am convinced that none of this ever gets better. But the joys grow in relation to the suckage, so we can make it without killing someone.
.-= Rachael´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: HAPPY! =-.
Do you really want me to tell you what the coming years bring? You may be institutionalized-lol.
11, 12, 13 ,14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19 so far have been almost as big nightmares as 2 and 3. PLus you have to check up and help with homework on top of it all. Then you have to deal with driving lessons, the kids thinking the car is now theirs, girlfriends…..
*Hey, why are you hiding under your cover? * There are good things too! They can cook, shop, babysit, clean….
.-= Susie @newdaynewlesson´s last blog ..For Every Vice There Is A Virtue =-.
ugh, it has to be better. you think we can sell our two-year-olds at e-bay?
.-= cheri´s last blog ..hamming it up with the boys =-.
Holy Shit- you are so funny!!! I don’t think 2′s or 3′s are easy!! I am acutally in the middle of writing a post about how much the 3′s suck!! I thought 2′s were bad, but literally the week my daughter turned 3 she also turned into a monster!! 3 going on 16- I am gonna kill her!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Happy Earth Day! =-.
OK, your post was scary enough…the comments by readers have me paralyzed with fear! are you kidding me?!! when is it ‘party’ time for Mom & Dad?
Usually my 3 year old listens, if not right away, at least with my warnings of “if you don’t come here/stop/etc at the count of 3 I will cancel the playdate/trip to the zoo/take favorite toys away/etc, however there are days when i say that and he just looks at me and laughs. I get very afraid on those days….very, very afraid. What is a mom to do when none of the threats/bribes work anymore?!
Good luck. You earned that drink (or two/three….)
I’m going for the ice cream sunday instead (and then maybe the drink ;-)
.-= Naomi´s last blog ..Nana’s dead and other ways to make your 3 year old cry =-.
I am soooooo glad I am not alone in this. I thought only my children (boys who are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2) were the spawn of the devil. The things you are describing could been either of them….last night during my shower they decided to get into the Clorox Clean Up and now the 4 1/2 has much lighter hair!!!! (and my awesome red potholders are ruined!!)
Can I sell my two-and-a- half year old with yours?! She’s a real PITA right now, too (complete with the full on-the-floor tantrums that my son never had).
I have six, ranging in age from 23 to 5. My 20 yo daughter (who is going to college in another state!) can still make me insane with just a phone call or text….but at least I’m no longer sleeping on her bedroom floor to be sure she doesn’t sneak out at night, and as far as I know, she doesn’t throw her plate after she eats (but if she does, I no longer have to clean it up).
Hang on, Scary Mommy. The ride has just begun!!!
What I did when we moved my daughter to her big girl bed was put up the child gate in the doorway when it’s bedtime… That way, she knew it was time to wind down. She usually lays down in her bed with her portable DVD player (yes, I know, how awful, right?! I do feel guilty sometimes, but damn, that thing works!) and falls asleep on her own now. Now that we’ve done it this way for a while and she’s good about bedtime, we let her choose whether she wants it- but most nights, she actually does… I think it’s a security thing :) She is able to pull it down, mind you, and we do have nights when she’s overtired and cranky and throws a fit about it… But most times, it works fine. Maybe it’s something that might help you?
.-= Jaden´s last blog ..(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday #27- Four Generations =-.
I’m totally laughing because I *just* wrote a post about my son and his terrible threes. (It’s not showing up as my last post, but it’s called Three is the New Two.)
But, I don’t mean to laugh at your circumstance, although it is comforting to know we’re not alone in our parenting challenges, isn’t it?
This too shall pass. Hopefully quickly.
I’m just going to say this, the “3′s” almost made me lose my mind.
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..LOL =-.
What a dick.
If you’re selling, then I’m buying. I fell in love with your boy hook, line, and sinker back in March.
My other thought is for us to do some sort of cross-continental co-parenting/co-blogging type of thing. It will be a totally new approaching to raising kids and, more importantly, sure to drive page views.
Win-win!
.-= Mayhem and Moxie´s last blog ..Facebook & Sisters: The Saga Continues =-.
My kids had relatively easy twos, but I do have two vivid memories of a two year old meltdown with my son.
Once in the middle of the mall he just lost it and it was clear that there was no recovery. It was just him and I and being a good dad I left the stroller in the car figuring that it was going to be easy.
He’d spend a little time playing. I’d buy him a treat and we’d go home. And of course when my plan went to hell it really went. Because that play area was a good 15 minute walk from the car and he wasn’t having any of it.
So I had to carry a screaming child. A child who kept flailing and fighting the entire walk. A child whose red face and screams caused enough concern that people tried to stop me because they wanted to know what I had done to him.
By the time we reached the car I had come close to killing the three people in Macys who tried to stop me from leaving. They meant well. Looking back I appreciate their concern for my child, but at that time they faced death.
Back at the car I put him in his seat, he smiled, said “I love you” and promptly fell asleep.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..Jack’s Video Debut- My First Vlog =-.
I’ve heard experienced parents advise that most of the discipline and training is needed and happens before the age 4. After that, as a foundation is paved, things get a lot easier. That’s what I’m banking on. As for now, I’m feeling you scary mommy. I’m the mom in the front of the check out line whose 2YO is performing a tantrum while others scoff at my supposed lack of parenting skills. Yet, such instances define true parental endurance, patience, and determination. Every child is so different. In the mean time, hope you get some rest and validation that you’re not alone.
.-= Melodramommy´s last blog ..How Many Miles Mommy Walks a Day: The Answer =-.
Please stop reminding me of this phase.
And, we had to turn the knob around on the bedroom door (after we removed the child lock on the inside of the door that she figured out how to remove). She would do the same thing. And, it finally got to the point that we weren’t putting her to be anymore. Her room was safe and she wasn’t scared. She figured out she couldn’t get out and we wouldn’t come get her and she learned how to get to bed. It’s like CIO for toddlers! Good times, right?
.-= Krystyn´s last blog ..Sisters, sisters…PSF =-.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! This is hilarious stuff but underneath my laughter I am praying for you. I am just picturing that sweet face demanding you to stay. And throwing his plate down. Wow. Sorry, Tristan didn’t go through a big phase so I am not much help. Except for the praying and laughter part :)
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Chicken Piccata – Healthy Makeover =-.
I think they call it the terrible two’s because every new parent thinks it can’t get harder than a two year old tantrum. I did not realize until my #1 turned 7 that each year is harder than the one before. Kids always change the game leaving you to play catch-up!
I have three boys. Good luck.
Uh, hello, are we raising the same child!?!
My once-sweet (and obedient) little boy is 2.5 this month and we are in the throes of the terrible two’s. I have to be honest, as an MFTi, I was TRAINED in behavioral modification for children. I know all the tips and tricks to get a child to behave properly. But have I trained my own 2.5 year to always behave like a perfect angel? Not even close! I just have to recognize that the two’s are all about self-discovery, learning their own (loud) voice and opinion, and having a huge curiosity about the world around them…as scary, nerve-wracking, and messy as it can be sometimes.
You’ve done it twice before, Jill. You’ll get through it again this time, too! I hope I get through it, too. And then I hope we have an easy ride…until puberty, at least. Ha!
-Aimee
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Guest Post: Foodie Friday — Sunday Morning Bacon & Zucchini Frittata =-.
My little angel (a 22-month old girl) chews her food and proceeds to spit it out all over the floor. She heaves the remaining food on her plate overboard…and, yes, laughs when I scold her. The biggest thing for her is when she gets ahold of a full glass of anything liquid. It makes a puddle in which to play…
God love all the toddlers…
.-= KellieS´s last blog ..Quantum Jumping: An Unusual Journey =-.
Funny post…coincidently my 19 month old is up in his crib right now because he was throwing tantrums and pulling my hair! I’m not looking forward to the terrible two’s if there anything like this. I feel your pain!
Oops! I meant “they’re” not “there.” My bad!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Test Post #2 =-.
I LOVE these pictures … fabulous.
.-= Madeleine Gallay´s last blog ..Gigi Burris and The Craft of Hats : Something Beautiful =-.
My husband asked me the other night, in all seriousness, whether I thought there was something “wrong” with our, um, spirited two and a half year old.
I was like, “Wrong? He’s two and a half. What were you thinking?”
He said, “I don’t know. Could he have schizophrenia?” :-0
send him to his auntie nancy…
I have NEVER had those problems ;)
.-= nancy´s last blog ..Dr. E. B. Carter =-.
My teenager is 16. My triplets are five. My baby is 24 months.
We are still in the wake of a hurricane.
Not one age has been a breeze. Sorry.
Thank the universe for Smirnoff, is all I’m sayin’ over here.
(He is adorable, though. There is that.)
.-= The Grasshoppa: Triplet Plus Two Momma´s last blog ..Babies Make The Earth Go Round =-.
I started laying down with my 2 year old..that was 3 years ago…! What have I done!
.-= contreras5´s last blog ..Food Porn =-.
Aha hahahahahaha! Yep, you just keep telling yourself that. ;o)
.-= dysfunctional mom´s last blog ..FINALLY Friday Fragments!!! =-.
all of these reasons are why i only have 1 child at this point.
my daughter just turned 3, as far as i’m concerned, i’m in perma-survival mode.
most days, she’s lucky she’s cute. i’ll leave it at that.
Having a 9 and 5 year old, I’m pleading the 5th! LOl. Every year has had it’s battles honestly along with the good stuff too. I have to say that 3 and 4 were very trying years for my family.
.-= Mel’s Box of Chocolates´s last blog ..Pine-Sol is Making a Powerful Difference with Facebook =-.
Looking back at my kids , I can definitely say that by age 22 all is well. Boys are better as teenagers so once Lily is past that its clear sailing. Its all payback for our childhoods.
Remember how much you loved having Evan sleep with you in infancy? Its all [unfortunately] payback but with great memories. Remember the sweetness but be firm.
I have two kids, 18 and 14. My advice to you is: Hang in there, it gets better. And, validate them. Validate their every complaint, their every issue. You can disagree with them after that, but if you don’t validate first, they won’t hear another word out of your mouth. So when they yell about this or that, look them in the eye, give them a gentle smile, say “I hear you,” or “I know, that sucks,” or something similar. If they feel that you think that their complaints are reasonable, they will absolutely be more likely to be cool with you.
Really, hang in there.
.-= Stu Mark´s last blog ..My Good News =-.
I said the same thing about the terrible 2s with my son. — the 2s were a breeze… the 3′s were treacherous….and quite honestly 4 wasn’t a picnic either.
My daughter is only 19 mo. and although is not as much of a crier as her brother…. she is into EVERYTHING he is not.
.-= Complicated Mama´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to Mr.Complicated and Mother Earth =-.
with those lashes, he can surely get away with anything! i wish you well – this too shall pass, altho it probably feels right now for you – that it won’t!!!
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..photostory friday: pictures of oz =-.
As for nighttime, try to make it how you want it to be now, because it really will only get more difficult. We are finally not roommates with our children, but they still ask if we’ll “snuggle” some nights. I always feel a leeeetle bit mean when I say, “Not tonight.” Because I’m thinking, “Not on your life, you sneaky little shorty.”
Hang in there!
My first daughter was a dream at 2. i was all smug thinking that my superior parenting skills knocked out the “terrible twos”. Then 3 hit and she turned my world upside down.
My second daughter is 2 1/2 and she has been exhibiting “terrible twos” behavior since 18 months. I’m hoping I’ll get a break when she turns three. She can’t be terrible for 2 years in a row, can she?
.-= Georgette Gilmore´s last blog ..Giveaway: Dulce Candy Boutique Candy Cart For Your Party =-.
I don’t know from boys, but the hellish years seem to alternate for us. This means with 3 kids born every other year, somehow each year has some kind of hell and some kind of sweet.
.-= amanda´s last blog ..Pfffftwords =-.
I remember saying the twos were a breeze as well. Then, I remember saying, “the fours are definitely double the twos.” Hope it isn’t so for your third! :)
.-= Robyn OHSH´s last blog ..Passing Cars, Wrong Turns, and a Conversation =-.
First of all, although you already knew this, HE IS ADORABLE! (So, yes, mom you are doomed… LOL)
Not to scare you or anything, I slept with my youngest too to get him to bed. When he was a baby, I carried him all day to keep him from crying. He’s 7+ now and i STILL need to sleep with him. Like I said, not to scare you, but some things may be easier to stop when they are younger, though I can’t tell you when I could have done it…
When did you visit my house and hang out with my kid??!! I think our sons may be soul twins!!
That’s what I have to look forward to???? Crap!
Can you throw mine in too as added value?
.-= DC Urban Dad´s last blog ..Since when did snuggling become a contact sport? =-.
Hey Jill
I’m not sure about how you ended up keeping him in his room (I saw the tweets tonight) but with our daughter (she was 2 in October) we put one of those handle things on the door handle so she couldn’t turn the doorknob. We’d close the door and sometimes she’d try to get up and get mad and scream. Sometimes not. If she did, we’d go to her and tell her that we’d open the door but she had to stay in bed and if she got up, then the door got closed.
It worked for us, but I know many kids are more stubborn. Good luck.
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..iheartfaces challenge: smile =-.
I am having the same trouble with my son who will be 3 next month. And if I didn’t love him as much as I do I would really put him up for sell. He is the sweetest child but at the same time he is Satan’s son. He picks on his sisters who are 10 and 8. The throws things when he does not get his way, and he aims for your head; he throws his food on the floor and hard down laughs at you; and do not let him not get his way in public. I don’t know what to do with him. But you know what when he is at daycare they have no problem with him. And lets not forget he is in pullups and he takes it off when he does number 2 and smears it everywhere more than twice. He has taken over my bed, my life.
Oh boy do I totally feel for you. I have 3 boys – 5 1/2, 3 1/2, and 20 months.
My pediatrician once said to me:
“It’s the terrible twos, thrilling (as in thriller) threes, f’ing fours, and it continues to be the f”ing fives.” It doesnt exactly get better, the challenges just change.”
OH!!! Nice to know. Thanks for the insight Mr. Pediatrician!
.-= Nicole@ModernStyleMama´s last blog ..Simply the Best Pancake Recipe – Monday Recipe Mission =-.
Mine sounds a lot like yours. My son will be three May 16th. He’s been a “terrible two” since about a year and half. I don’t see it going away in the next couple weeks either…sigh.
.-= Terri´s last blog ..Flooded Nashville- We are still here =-.
thank you all for the laugh :) i needed it, after the morning i’ve had….. my 3 year old pissed all over the bathroom…and i do mean ALL OVER it, and while i was wiping it up {trying hard not to cry} he got the stack of library books which i *thought* were out of reach, and tore up several pages….. and THEN while i was attempting to tape them together again, he found the box of butter sticks and took large bites out of them all, then used the stumps to graffiti the kitchen…. GRRRRR!!!!!!!!! (laughed my ass off about calling yours The Asshole…. we sometimes call ours Little Bastard)
and yet, even with all this aggravation and all the things i’m lacking in life so i can be his mom, i still melt at the sight of his cute lil face, and i live for his sweet hugs and kisses, even tho he pulls my hair and kicks my boobs while he’s doing it :)
Oh no!! Is there some 2 year long “camp” he can go to and pass through this trying phase? How cool would that be for him to come home an angel AND be able to make ashtrays.
.-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..The Horrors of T&A. Surgically Speaking, Of Course =-.
Hate to break it to you, but at 7 and a half years old, one of my sons STILL can not fall asleep unless one of us is laying next to him. I’m guessing he’ll be over this by the time he goes off to college. If not, it’s going to wreak hell on his dating life.
You know his dating life may not be too bad! The girls might just think he’s the bees knees and the ants pants because he wants to stay over or better still lets them stay. Will certainly save on petrol!
The threes are something else completely. My 3 year old Nia has morphed into a evil genius. At the onset of her 3rd birthday, she suddenly has mastered the art of eating-the-bottom-of-all-the-brownies-with-the-top-still-intact-when-no-one-was-looking, pushing just the right buttons to make the older brother want to claw his eyes out, and cover her little brother in enough lotion to make him glide with ease across the kitchen floor. She has acquired a taste for all the things that mama likes, and has effectively wiped out my stash! She keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure!
Bwahahahahaha all I can say is – wait til they are teenagers.
Sorry, really. Oh and if you plan on babysitting when you are the gramma DON’T for the love of God wish one JUST LIKE THEM on them! Somehow, between them and their partner the grand will be 10x worse.
.-= dddiva´s last blog ..NaBloPoMo June NOW What did you want to be when you grew up? =-.
When my oldest was three he would have temper tantrums so intense that it would take both my husband and I to restrain him. I would hold his arms, he would hold his feet and we would both try to stay away from his teeth and thrashing head. When my husband wasn’t around I had to literally lock him in his room which we ‘child-proofed’ so he couldn’t hurt himself.
Now, my first ‘baby’ is almost 10 and is the most amazing kid ever. He’s smart and kind and he did eventually learn to control his emotions. All it took was knowing the words to say how he felt.
For us it got better. My youngest is almost 5 and although he is a bit of a manipulator we never really went through a ‘terrible’ anything with him.
………..
I shouldn’t say that, though. I may jinx it.
I have 2.5 yr old boy. he has amazing manners puts up his own dishes, throws away is own trash and sleeps in his toddler bed. i’m not sure if i’m liking the toddler bed though, he is a rough sleeper. half the time i walk in his room he is only half way on it but totally asleep (feet on floor body on bed) it’s crazy! he threw a block at his 6wk old brother. throws himself in the floor at every opportunity and assaults me with the remote when he wants to watch ‘tb’ so i guess he is half terrible and half wonderful. but if i bring up the potty it is ON! he wants nothing to do with it. i asked him if he wanted to be a big boy and he promptly said ‘NO!’ and stomped off slamming the door behind him…ehhh.
LOL!! I just found your site while looking, again, for some kind of non-pussyfooting advice about how to handle my 2 1/2 year old sons suck fits… over absolutely everything!!! Awesome, I’ll be back and by on this link to all parents. It’s nice to have someone else be candid
I feel all of your pain. My daughter is a little over 2 yrs old and the tantrums do me in. It’s torture! On top of just having a temper out of nowhere, she’s got a speech delay so her frustration gets worse when we can’t figure out what she wants. Short of throwing myself in front of a bus I just try to find some me time before I explode. Even if it means leaving her with her dad and storming off to Target to just stare at a cute shirt or something.
I was thinking the same thing about my 3rd daughter, who just turned 2. I’ve told lots of people, “Oh, just wait..terrible two’s are nothing, just wait until they’re three..”.
My two year old is evil. She draws on everything-from several different mediums: her poop, pencils, sharpies, etc.
She has destroyed the blinds in her bedroom. She broke(cracked them in half) all of them except four.
She knows how to unlock the front doors. Yes, doors. She likes running outside. We have switched out her door knob to be locked from the inside. Yet, she still has figured out how to take a long screw from her 3 year old sister’s bed , and somehow twisting it to unlock the door by sticking it in the door knob.
She also knows how to unlock/open the back sliding glass door. Thankfully, we don’t have a pool.
I have nightmares of her running out in traffic. (sigh)
My plan to make millions was to establish what I call “Three Year Old Island”.
Normal people as yourselves could drop off your three year olds to live alone on this island and then pick them up on their fourth birthday. If they didn’t survive living amongst things as themselves then no great loss. If they did survive you would take your tolerable four year old home to love and raise them till they are teenagers. I guess teenagers would qualify for three year old island as well. They behave the same. So you always have the option of sending them back to Three Year Old Island. P.S. I like my kid most day now. She did survive and so did I.
OK…this is the coolest place in the world to get crap off your mind and share…I just stumbled across this and I already love it. Ive read alot of the comments and Im thinking “there really are others, its not just me and my lil hellion” Heres my story..I have 4 kids ages 25-boy, 21-boy, 17-girl AND 2 yr.old boy, THATS RIGHT, At age 40 I got the surprise of my life…I was very confident at this point in my parenting…I already raised 3, how hard could just one lil cute snuggley baby boy be? Adam is everything all u have wrote about…I was shocked at the fact that he can climb up anything, unlock the numerous extra locks we put on to keep him from escaping, everything we put “out of reach” is actually reachable for him just more inconveint for us to get to..he jumps off anything, scares the crap out of me..he screams at the top of his lungs for no reason most of the time, every meal is all over the kitchen floor each time, I quit cleaning it up every time , to much work,(maybe I’ll get a dog for that) he sleeps right between me and hubby, hes snuggled in, while I have a foot in my back. I started yelling and giving my mean mom look at him to get him to listen,(doesn’t always work tho, I think hes gotten used to it) , I just dont remember it being this dam hard…I know Im about to loose my mind when I think about drinking at 10 am…lol. I know I could go on and on, but I wont, Its odvious , you all already know…thank you all for posting, I cant say you’ve given me much hope, but deffinately a place to go read and laugh and vent till the lil terror wakes up and “catches me on the comp” and runs in and beats on my keyboard and throws my papers all over the floor. Maybe just “one” drink!?
I thought it was just me. recently I had family visiting they stayed in a hotel nearby, we spent one evening with them and went to a restaurant, we slept over and had breakfast. my prim and proper relatives were surprised at the number of tantrums my son had and did not want to see us again even though they were here for 3 weeks. they have one of those silent well behaved children and cannot comprehend why I do not have control over him….
WOW! Ladies you will survive – eventually. All these stories make me laugh and remind me of what it once was like to have “small people’ ruling the house.
Where to start? Mine are all grown up now, well nearly, starts with boy 22, girl 20, girl 17, boy 15, girl 13. So I’m Way past the baby/terrible/terrific 2s and 3s and fucking 4s. Never heard of the last one though. Anyway, when my now 15 yd son was just 5, his younger and next older sisters had a combined birthday party. His idea of fun was to run amok amongst all the girls pulling his pants down and waggling his privates at them. The next stunt was to get my biggest kitchen knife and try to stab someone! Ever tried to disarm a 5 year old boy charging round with a large knife? Only thing to do is grab from behind and pray!
When my older two children were 2 and 3 respectively, they would spend the whole day naked except for the gumboots because of the snakes and large blue tongued lizards in the back yard. They’d spend all day making mud pies and then come inside and jump on my bed and paint the walls with mud and lipstick – they always managed to find that! Needless to say, I found it easier to leave a tray of food outside the back door, then lock it from the inside! The lemon tree made a “target” for them to pee on (sorry if this upsets any of you, but I wasn’t going to let them in the house for toilet time) and just let them roam all day long! This was during summer in Sydney, so was always hot! They would always be exhausted by the end of the day, rather than me, so would go to bed. But when the weather was bad, bed time became a different story!
I guess the point of all this is that they do eventually grow up and hopefully by the time they are at school they will be in their own beds and able to sleep through the night.
Try the scary monster under the bed – he only eats little children at night so they musn’t make a sound or try to get out of bed. Better scared than someone’s dinner! The monster sleeps through the day and only comes out at night. And for biters or slappers – give it back! My 15 yd son has often said “bit me” to be a smart ass, so I do and as hard as I can. He doesn’t say it anymore! One of my children was 1 1/2 and she slapped my face – we were in a supermarket when she did this, and I slapped her straight back! I have to say in my defence it was a reflex action, but she never slapped me again. Sometimes it good to give as good as you get. If your child wanders off at the shops, try telling them you were the one that was lost, and how grateful you were they found you. And never make a threat you’re not prepared to go through with. If you say you’re going home because of their behaviour, DO IT!! Leave the shopping trolley, someone will take care of it. Go straight home, do not pass Go, nor collect any rewards on the way. And when you get home, don’t talk to them at all! Ignore them completely. But not for too long, or they’ll learn that they can do the same thing to you.
So ladies, you will survive, and when all else fails, get Daddy to take over for a while if he’s around. The change will do children and Mum the world of good!
Good Luck and always try to be at least 2 steps ahead of the rodents you have given birth to!
Sorry the last lot was sooooo long, but I have had 5 kids who are all grown up and we’ve all survived it. It really does get better, just take it one day at a time and enjoy the good days and try to get through and over the bad.
OH MY GOSH. I think I have your son’s evil twin living in my house. Seriously. It sounds like my son. Whenever done with food or drink, he would throw it. Not just throw it, it did a wind up and pitch.
Doesn’t get what he wants, decides to cry and scream.
He is not in a bed yet, he may never be at this rate.
And loves to just walk up to his sister and slap her face, then runs away giggling while she’s crying. He thinks it’s a game. But he goes and apologizes with a kiss when I tell him too. However, my daughter does not find this suitable.
And so he is called THE BEAST. And you know what, she’s right.
Wanna trade, maybe in a new surrounding, both kids will be shocked into good behavior? or has he grown out of it by now?
Staci recently posted..Home Depot Free Weekend Workshops- Sign Up Soon- Classes Fill Up Fast
Oh, trading may be the way to go! He’s actually better now, but he still has his days.
Your posts are hilarious and your family is beautiful. Thanks for making me laugh.
I have two boys and in both cases the “terrible twos” started at 18mo and started to get better about 4yrs old. Well in the oldest one’s case my younger one is just gonna turn 4 end of oct. His preschool actually added to the handbook after he was enrolled. I truly believe they added this in for him:
Handbook Policy Addition: Physical Harm to Another
So far his first month of preschool he has thrown his pillow and napmat at the teacher in protest of naptime and pushed another kid along with running away from the teacher. He has been to the principle more than once too. Amazingly enough thats not the worst thing he’s done that year.
I have to just thank you for all the info you provide on your blog for those of us bloggers who are just starting out. I have found the info so useful. If I haven’t already tweeted you about how entertaining I find your posts, I’ll say it again. I so love your honesty about Motherhood. Those of us who are Mothers know the truth and the fact that you don’t sugar coat the experience like some do, is what makes you unique and interesting. I check your site daily to see what new adventures or thoughts you’re sharing. It’s always a good read for me.
I have two 2 year olds for sale in case anyone else on here is interested. 10 months apart! You get bragging rights to the 80 week pregnancy!
No, Scary Mommy, 3 and 4 were worse than 2. at two they still have broken english that is so cute… three and four is when they can form a sentence and tell you to suck it properly. Basically it’s tolerable 2′s and torrential 3′s and F***My Life 4′s.
xx
MyDiaperDiaries recently posted..The Feminine Elephant
Hahahah love it and all the comments made my morning. THank you.
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