I have always been completely unable to put things together. I think I must be missing some portion of the brain that enables one to successfully follow directions and produce a finished piece of work. I’ve pathetically payed Ikea employees to put their cheapo furniture together, thus totally defeating the bargain prices. Last year, after slaving over it for five hours, I discovered that I put Ben’s train table together upside down. I vowed to never again attempt such a feat. It’s just not worth it.
So, you can imagine my dismay when I found this in my children’s meals from Chick-fil-A this evening.
Being own my own for the evening, I really wanted to be the “good” parent for a change. I figured chicken nuggets and chocolate milk would do the trick, and they did for the .2 seconds it took my children to inhale them. They were quickly overshadowed by my inability (and flat out refusal) to spend the evening putting this stupid paper bug together. Who has time for this shit? Not me, thank you very much. The next time I want to treat my kids, I’m heading to McDonald’s, where the Happy Meals come with toys requiring zero assembly and the fries need no extra salt. I’m done with you, Chick-fil-A. Until you rethink the toys, that is.