Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
I have always been completely unable to put things together. I think I must be missing some portion of the brain that enables one to successfully follow directions and produce a finished piece of work. I’ve pathetically payed Ikea employees to put their cheapo furniture together, thus totally defeating the bargain prices. Last year, after slaving over it for five hours, I discovered that I put Ben’s train table together upside down. I vowed to never again attempt such a feat. It’s just not worth it.
So, you can imagine my dismay when I found this in my children’s meals from Chick-fil-A this evening.
I mean, seriously? Is the seriously the toy that comes in a children’s meal? Can you see the PAGE of directions?! There are steps, with sub-steps. What the fuck???
Being own my own for the evening, I really wanted to be the “good” parent for a change. I figured chicken nuggets and chocolate milk would do the trick, and they did for the .2 seconds it took my children to inhale them. They were quickly overshadowed by my inability (and flat out refusal) to spend the evening putting this stupid paper bug together. Who has time for this shit? Not me, thank you very much. The next time I want to treat my kids, I’m heading to McDonald’s, where the Happy Meals come with toys requiring zero assembly and the fries need no extra salt. I’m done with you, Chick-fil-A. Until you rethink the toys, that is.
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
Are you serious?! lol man and Chick-fil-a used to give out books in each kids meal. We used to love to swing by there when we were out late and we’d have a new story to read at bedtime.
I can’t imagine too many parents taking the time to put these together and if their kids are anything like mine it would just be destroyed in 2 minutes anyway.
Hope you guys have a wonderful week! It’s hump day so thankfully the weekend’s almost here :)
Sub-steps? What the f, indeed! That's too much for me & I actually enjoy putting things together!(Weird, I know.)
What are they thinking? They’re totally alienating their parental customer base. Do you know how many screaming and impatient children are at home with pissed off parents trying to build that ridiculous bug?
Love your post!
I agree….unhappy meal is the true meaning. Why think about it, it may take an scientific engineer to get this all together…then, in minutes it’s torn apart anyway…what happened to a plastic toy that is all put together for you? Huh? Oh ya, they choke on those. Gimme a break.
Come on over and visit with me and my very wordful Wednesday post…I just couldn’t stop shivering this morning….errrrr, ummmm, chat-at-at-chatting away!!!
Give’s ya a chance to make something outta nothing!
When you drive around, do you get lost easily? I think it has something to do with spatial intelligence (something that architects, engineers, etc. excell at). If you get turned around quickly, You’re low in that dept.
Thats kind of funny! Someone otta let them know!
That is the most ridiculous Kids Meal toy I have EVER seen! Isnt the purpose of those toys to give the child an instant reward if they eat all their food??? That toy could not have ever been seriously considered INSTANT!
I would have done the same thing as you. I am terrible at assembling things!….Although, I am proud.. I did JUST put together my DDs exersaucer all by myself the other day… took me an hour & dd took a nap in btwn cause she got tired of waiting for me… BUT .. I did it all by myself. lol
i will agree with you… what a friggin nightmare. luckily my kids are past that stage, because i can’t stand the thought of boycotting my beloved #1 with a diet coke.
THAT.IS.CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is just wrong. I wouldn’t have the patients for that either. You are so right stick with McDonald’s. Then your sons and mine can be in the same boat.
WTF? I have a hard enough time just getting some toys out of the package.
Yes I agree that McD’s toys are the best!
1. Wrestle plastic bag open.
2. Hand toy to tot.
3. Go back to enjoying McD’s coke.
4. Everyone is happy. (for the moment)
Feisty
Yeah, and the insect part is bad enough!
(Um, did someone at Chick think twice about giving away something like that with FOOD!)
My son used to cry when I would say we were going to CF. He would say, “Noooo!! They give dumb prizes like books!!”
I just went to Chick Fil A this past weekend with my cousin and her two kids. They both got these presents and the oldest just tore all the pieces out and then they ended up in the trash. Such a waste.
We’ve actually boycotted Chick-fi-a. I mean…….the prizes……a book…….or more to the point…….what your kids got last night? And the prices? They are a rip off. It’s like $35. bucks for my family to eat there……and they are still hungry. :)
that is so funny – we do not have a chik-fil near us, so I don’t even know what that joint is. Try Wendy’s – the toys are usually educational AND the chicken is real chk!
Gah! No way! I even get freaked out the rare times McDonald’s has those Hot Wheel cars that come with the tiny sheet of stickers to go on them! I can never follow the diagram. I’m awful with directions, and therefore remain thankful for the time Chik-fil-A stuck a “Let’s Learn French!” cd in my kid’s meal!
It’s a fast food joint for fk’s sake, who do they think is getting happy meals over there… people with PHD’s? Bad Chick-fil-A. Very, very bad. We mother’s need to unite and hold one of their advertising cows hostage in protest.
We do not have Chik Fil A here. I LOVE their waffle fries though (or at least I did the last time I lived near one which was in 2000.
My kids get McD. We have 2 in ton. My son always wants BK, but when I ge thim the food, he does not eat it. He only asks for BK because he can spell it (his words, not mine.) Oh and he calls it B.K.
I would be grossed out if I had to look at a bug while eating (r watching the kids eat)
We always trade ours back in for ice cream. I mean who wants books and stuff like THAT thing you showed when you can have dessert instead? ; )
Oh I just love your honesty….girl you crack me up. I was in stitches..
That is pretty ridiculous because it ruins the dang meal instead of them being entertained by it. It pisses me off too when the toys are so, so cheap and break and everyone has a meltdown!
I know where I won’t be getting the kids a happy meal from anytime soon! What in the world. I thought that there was a simple rule that the toys must be able to be ripped open and played with immediately! Did Chick-fil-A not get the memo?
What the??? HOLY! that certainly looks way too complicated! Never mind that you are getting a bug with your meal…lol
Happy WW!
what. a. crock.
i probably would have use the uh oh they’re all outta toys excuse and pitched em before they noticed.
This totally made me laugh… out … loud…
Oh yes, we’ve gotten this one before. Wee One was sorely disappointed when mommy was completely unable to “make ladybug mommy.”
Bitches.
Seriously?!!?! That is just so wrong! But you did attempt to assemble it, so kudos for that. I would have taken one look at it and tossed it in the trash.
That would make me so made. Almost enough to go back to them to put it together.
The scary thing about the McD’s toys tho? Swear to God, they multiply overnight.
Thank came in the kids meal? I would take it to back and ask them to put it together. Geez, what are they thinking?
Too funny! I’d probably spend an hour putting it together then they would forget about it by the time I was done or play with it for just 5 minutes! Go for McD’s then throw the toy away after the 5 minutes of play ~ that’s what I do!
This is why I just buy the kids food off the dollar menu and don’t even get those silly meals with junky toys that just end up in the garbage.
Ya…ditch the Chik’fil’A joint….and move on to the oh-so-much-happier meal at McDonalds! No way I could put that thing together…except maybe a paper airlplane!! What a rip…you should have taken it back in and had the manager put it together!!
No way! There is no way I could have had a happy evening with that thing. That is ridiculous!
I love Chick Fil A but the toys are never good there, unfortunately.
Now if only Starbucks could throw in a toy with their $2 cookies, that’d be awesome.
Hah. I got one of these the other day and actually thought it would be fun to put together. But mine was a grasshopper or something.
LOL yucky!
Shame on Chic-Fil-A for trying to educate your kids ;)
Wow…that is quite a toy. Sounds like I need to go to graduate school just to be able to understand it.
That is so funny! And my son HATES Chick-Fil-A — not because of the food but because of the toys. “These are not fun Mommy. I want to eat at McDonalds. They have the good toys.”
Yeah, we didn’t love that toy too much either at my house. We cannot, however, be done with the Chick because they’re play area is SO AWESOME!
he he he
those bugs were awesome!
you should have seen the paper airplanes they did a while back
next time send them to me
I love putting them together(but I also love putting together Gus’ legos)
last time I went to Mickey D’s they were advertising 2 toys in each happy meal
I got eight shrek dolls!
argggggh
get way of your old toys another way ronald!!!!
That is insanity? Why do they have to make us feel bad about our lack of engineering degrees in front of our children?
Bastards.
I “accidentally” left this in the cart at the store. Baby Girl forgot all about it. Thank God.
Wonder who the Marketing genius was who thought that up. I mean, you can’t be the only disgruntled parent.
I would not be happy to find a bug of ANY fashion in my child’s meal.
Period.
Wow, who would have thought you would have to be a graduate of MIT to put that together. I don’t like Chick-fil-A – their prices are too high and their food is not that great. But koodos for trying to feed your kids something healthier than junk food.
Chik Fil A probably thought it was something educational they could do for innovative little engineer children : ). Who knows. We don’t have one near us and the play land they have is for toddlers, so even if they did have one close by, we could not enjoy the activities!
I am sorry about that train table! Were you annoyed to no end? I can’t even imagine!
OMG, what the fuck is right. “some assembly required” should mean 2-3 stickers to place on plastic toy. The end. Even Scary Mommy can do stickers!
:-)
I would totally boycott Chik -filet if we had the here….
So glad I stopped by today..I totally needed my “fuck” fix…. feeling much better now.
I just want to tell you that you have the funniest ways of writing about the most perfect things we all deal with. This was the funniest post, and when I saw instruction assembly manual picture I thought I was going to fall off my chair. Thanks for the great laughs.
they should call this an unhappy meal.
I just started readibng your blog and MUST comment here while I laugh!
I’ve taken my kids to Ckick-Fil-A a couple times and received the most imposible items in their kids meals. Anyting made of paper is instantly shredded here!
Seeing this I will definaately avoid them! What part of “kids” meal are they not understanding! McDonalds here we come!
Funnily enough, my 2 older kids (5 and 3) are sitting at the table next to me snacking and playing with their CFA preying mantis. Fortunately, I didn’t have to put it together myself, but it did take my husband almost as long as it took me to cook dinner!
This is three times now that i’ve landed on your website in the last two days while searching Bing for absolutely unrelated things. Kinda odd. Keep up the good blogging!