Samantha Cappuccino-Williams
Latest posts by Samantha Cappuccino-Williams (see all)
- Unmedicated Childbirth Survival Tips - February 25, 2013
- You Might Be a Parent If… - February 12, 2013
- 10 (Mildly Shallow) Reasons To Breastfeed - February 10, 2013
When people hear I intentionally had an unmedicated childbirth with my son, they’re intrigued. “Amazing!” they say, “And insane. Jeez. How’d you do it?” I nonchalantly shrug, check my polish, channel my homebirth idol Gisele Bundchen and say something Zen like, “Oh, I just let my body do what it was made to do. It was nothing.”
Humble, but bologna. It was not even close to nothing, but I don’t want to scare them with, “OMFG. I have no idea how. It was HARD. I was looking for the light so I could walk into it.” (OK, it wasn’t that bad.) There was a ton of preparation, for me and RealDad, leading up to RealBoy’s arrival. And we worked out butts off at go-time.
Do you want to endure unmedicated childbirth, too? Well, I have a few survival tips for you so you can get through this intense—I mean, beautiful—experience.
Unmedicated Childbirth Survival Tips
1. Start mentally preparing for the worst pain of your life RIGHT NOW. Preparing for natural labor is a marathon, Ladies, not a sprint. You don’t show up to a marathon and expect to finish if you’ve been jogging twice. You train for that bitch, physically and mentally, for months. You also don’t show up for a marathon with the attitude of, “I’ll run as far as I can, then get a ride the rest of the way.” So if you’re telling people you’ll labor drug-free for as long as possible and then get the epidural, stop right now. You need to commit to facing down the pain 1000%. The worse you imagine it will be, the more tolerable it actually is. I prepared to feel like my arms were being ripped out of the sockets. Then, I practiced pain management techniques to mentally cope with that. Very effective. So, pick a body part, imagine what it would be like to have it pulled off, and learn to manage that pain. Childbirth won’t be that bad, especially because it’s a normal pain; losing limbs is definitely not. This mental prep will also help you endure labor with less fear (and physiologically, fear=tension=pain, so less fear=less pain), although with probably just as much profanity.
2. Get primal. Your noises will sound like a cross between a lonely whale’s mating call, a constipated gorilla’s grunts, and a drunk sorority girl’s screams as she’s chased with a meat hook. You may hurl insults at your partner, vagina, baby, doctor, and Mother Nature, and you’ll probably declare at least once that you’re never having sex again. You can’t avoid it: you’re going to make some outrageous noises and say some outrageous shit. You might be afraid to lose your manners and humanity like this, but I assure you that in the throes of labor you will not give a fuck. Fact: the more conservative you are normally, the crazier you’ll be in childbirth. So embrace it now and unburden your mind. You can ask everyone for forgiveness later.
Oh, and while we’re getting primal, I hope you don’t plan to show up to your unmedicated birth and slip into an adorable nightie with clasps at the shoulders for tender post-delivery breastfeeding. If you do, I hope you also plan to get blood and poop all over that thing, because it’s happening. Really, you should arrive at the hospital in such an advanced stage of labor you won’t even remember you have this nightie and you’ll end up with a hospital gown thrown over a leg and only one sock. So, just plan to have your baby pretty much naked. I promise it won’t be the worst thing your L&D team has ever seen.
3. Prepare your coach for #2. Give your birth coach the heads up that you’re going to go nuts with the verbal assaults and supernatural noises so they react appropriately. While you won’t care about your unladylike words and sound effects, you will care if it looks like they are anything but awed by the miracle of childbirth. You won’t appreciate any frightened looks or unsupportive commentary in response to your letting loose. Tell them to lock that schizz down. Expressions other than those of blissful adoration will elicit more cursing and scarier noises, all directed at them.
4. Pretend there are no pain meds. Epidurals? What epidurals? I pretended they didn’t even exist so I wouldn’t be tempted. I thought I would be more likely to ride out the pain if I felt I had no choice. Totally worked. If I had had it in the back of my mind that they were available, I would’ve been calling the anesthesiologist the second I waddled into that delivery room.
5. Don’t think about the post-delivery state of your vagina. It’s easy not to think about it when you have an epidural. You can’t feel anything, so you hardly know anything is happening to your reproductive system at all let alone to your punani. When you do not have the epidural, however, you are acutely aware of the way your body is stretching and twisting to accommodate the emerging baby. You’re acutely acutely aware of your vagina’s state, and the first logical thought there is to protect your goods so they’re not ruined and don’t end up looking like an elephant that your partner will run screaming from when they see it. Which could make you want to cross your legs and hold the baby inside. Which, of course, is useless. Any resistance to this process just makes it harder, so let that baby out. As unbelievable as it is in the moment, your lady bits were made for this and will fully heal within a matter of weeks. And they won’t (necessarily) look like an elephant.
Best of luck! You’ll need it.
Check out more Scary Mommy posts about childbirth:
- Things mothers should know about c-sections
- Meeting your baby
- 10 things you know about having a baby
{ 97 comments… read them below or add one }
Hurray for you. I had plenty of ‘natural’ labor with my first. Enough that I really did want to die. And then I got an epidural and it was the BEST THING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE. And then it wore off and I wanted to die again but I pushed my baby out super-fast anyway and tore my vagina and it didn’t heal for like 3 months. My second kid was breech so they did a C-section and I was terrified and felt like my body had failed me. But it wasn’t bad really, and my incision healed super-fast and if I were ever to have another kid again – I won’t – but if I did, I would hope for another C-section. Maybe that’s horrible. I don’t care. I didn’t ‘forget’ the pain, like they you’re supposed to. I literally wanted to die. The pain was so much that even the thought of my future with my baby was buried underneath it.
So what I’m trying to say is: You are awesome, I curtsey in wonder at you.
Ha, ha! I had both too, but c-section first and natural second and I did NOT want another c-section, so I opted out of an epidural (increases risk of having a subsequent c-section in a vbac), and I totally wanted to die halfway through the labor! But the truth is, at the end of the day though it is absolutely painful, it’s not that bad… and we get a baby at the end… though when I was in the middle of it I was totally kicking myself for not getting another c-section!! So I get you!
BonnyBard recently posted..Happy Birthday my sweet Boy
I was forced to have my first without meds because by the time my doctor got to the hospital I was too far dilated to have an epidural. I was 18 and totally freaked out. When I was pregnant with my twins, I made the decision to have them natural, no medication. My husband was really freaked out, but I think it was best for me and the babies. And it wasn’t so bad. I was in labor for 15 hours, but some how got lucky enough not to have my first pain until 13 hours in. :)
This was enlightening and horrifying. You, my friend, are seriously bad ass. If I have a third kid (I won’t), I’ll consider these helpful tips.
Amy recently posted..Just Add Water: My Week Condensed 2/25/13
Hehehe– Nicely said!
I had 3 natural births… I was planning on getting 3 epidurals when I had the 1st one, I didn’t want any pain! But my labor progressed really fast and I was too advanced to get any. It was not as bad as I tought it was gonna be! So here comes #1 all natural. For the second, I figured I’d give it a go without any drugs. All went ok as well. Same for #3. I have to admit that I was EXTRA lucky with all 3 children… My labor, from the first contractions to baby in my arms was short for all 3. 5.5 hours for #1, 4 hours for #2, and 1:50 for #3… I sneezed the last one out! Good luck to all of you about to give birth, and remember woman have been giving birth since the beginning of time, Welcome to the club!
From my first experience, it makes a natural birth seem heavenly. The mix of the epidural and pitocin caused me to have a very hectic c-section. I definitely plan on going all natural for every kid I plan on having. Although, I don’t think I’ll be able to get the image of my post-delivery vagina out of my head.
Momchalant recently posted..The Noah DiaЯies – The Master Pooplan
I had to have my 2nd, without meds. they gave me the epidural, but then when they laid me back my daughter was already crowning… the nurses didn’t know how fast I was progressing… 2 minutes later I gave birth, ( wasn’t really bad) and THEN the meds kicked in, so i couldn’t feel my lower half for hours for no reason. The dr. said next time they will just give me the epi first if it works that fast LOL
I had every intention of using drugs to ease the pain but they made me so sick that I opted out of them. Yes, the most excruciating pain of my life! However, when they say you forget, it’s true, because I had 3 drug free births, all vaginal. My husband now realizes not to mess with me because once you have handled that, you can handle anything! ;-)
First one was all natural… Worst mistake and pain of my life. 22 hours of sheer torment. #2 I had labor for a day at home, got to the hospital, got an epidural and had the most amazing easy labor ever… No tearing, no stitches, no pooping, no screaming or swearing… #3 is coming and let me tell you, bring on the drugs. Once was enough for me. You go girl!!! I want nothing to do with that mess ever again.
I arrived at hospital too late for meds also. My contractions were weak, more like menstrual cramps but I had back labor like crazy. That meant I had to push more.Turns out, my daughter was face up rather than face down. The dr. had to use the suction to turn her and that was not fun! The worst part was sewing me up after the episiotomy! I have to admit that I have had migraine headaches that were worse than my labor. I should add that this was my first (and only) child and I was 35 years old at the time. I think my experience is probably very unusual.
On the ‘fear=tension=pain’ part, I asked my husband and doula to remind me to relax and let my body do it’s job during labor with #3. I stalled at 6 cm during unmedicated labor with #2 because I’d tense up every time I felt a contraction coming on and eventually ‘needed’ pitocin and a local anesthetic. #3 went beautifully though. Love all these tips!
Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) recently posted..The Painful Secret About Being Mom.
I had drugs with my first, but decided to try natural with my second. It was a bummer that I had to be induced for #2, but I STILL managed to go drug free.
And I was not quiet… at all. If I had been in the hallway to listen to my screaming and cussing, I would have run out of that hospital, fast. BUT, all that being said, I did it!! Thanks to my amazing doula and my only slightly helpful husband. He spent most of transition crying in the corner. WTF!?!
Ashley @ It’s Fitting recently posted..How You Can Tell I Have Two Children
Excellent, practical advice. It can be done, lol, and it’s very hard work but it completely rewarding.
Rebekah C recently posted..Snippets of Funny
My first was born without the help of any drugs- but only because he came so fast that there was no time for anything. My other two, I made sure I got there in time for drugs. Because OMG, that freaking HURT. I don’t recommend natural childbirth.
I was much more relaxed (and so were my babies) when I had drugs during the delivery. Natural childbirth stressed me and my baby out. Go for the drugs.
Shell recently posted..Mom Promise: I Will Make Time for Me
Your babies were relaxed because they were drugged, Dear. Sorry to say, but it’s really not good for the baby when mom is drugged.
Really are you sorry to say that because it seems like you might be anxious to let her know what you think. I love it when women attack other women about the choices they make when they clearly are bringing a baby into the world to love.
I really am sorry that my comments have been construed as attacks. They were not meant to attack, but to educate. I love babies, and I love moms, and I wish for the best outcomes for all. Peace.
Apparently none of you had back labor or coupled contractions. I had both for 7 hours until, after puking three times and the baby’s heart rate dipping after each set of not one, not two, but 3 contractions on top of each other, I asked for the epidural. Sorry if that upsets you. Sorry that I “drugged” my baby. Sorry that we can’t all be as strong and perfect as you. I thought the whole point of this blog was to be accepting of each other’s experiences and choices.
Kelly just to let you know you didn’t “drug” your baby. When you get an epidural it doesn’t get into the babies blood steam. It’s goes into your spinal column and is completely seperate from your babies blood system. And your right everywhere woman has to make choice for herself what’s best for her body.
I managed both my girls’ births with just IV drugs, and I might as well have just forgotten it with the youngest. I was starting to push by the time they got it hooked up.
All in all, it was intense but manageable. The worst thing was feeling my tailbone break the second time around. That’s usually not a concern if you didn’t break it at some point before giving birth. I was lucky to have fast labors though.
Amanda recently posted..When Work and Health Collide
Don’t forget the poop. Not the baby poop either. I have had 4 children – 2 with pain meds, 1 without and 1 half & half (don’t ask… it wasn’t pretty) – and the worst part of all three was pooping on the table. Vain – I know. Oh, and if I could do all 4 over? No pain meds. Sooooo much better for baby AND mom!
Even though I knew poop was a possibility, I was still horrified when I found out it happened.
Ariana recently posted..Suffer, quit, or change?
I’ve had three natural births and didn’t poop during any of them, thank GOD, I would’ve been horrified, too!
This makes me glad I’m done procreating. ;)
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..The Oscars, Twitter, and a Boring Week
I remember wanting to go natural so badly with both my pregnancies. Each time though, after 24 hours of labor with little progress, the nurse said “so how about an epidural now”. I said yes please! I will say, when putting in the first epi, the anesthetist “missed” and gave me the worst shooting pain/electrical shock sensation I’d ever had…much more intense than labor. I told him he had one more chance. With my 2nd pregnancy, once the nurse brought in the anesthesiologist, I told him the story and let him know he had one chance, if he missed I was going home and calling it quits.
Ariana recently posted..Suffer, quit, or change?
I had all 4 of mine with no meds. Seems to be the thing here in USA to have medication, not so much in UK where I had mine. First 2 were in hospital and 2nd 2 at home, in the bath, so much better. I just wish there wasn’t this one upmanship thing regarding births these days – take the drugs if you need them, don’t be a martyr and suffer if you don’t want to. Home birth vs hospital, drugs vs no drugs – who cares as long as baby is delivered safely!!!
THANK YOU! We all ended up with our babies in the end and that is really all that matters! It took me a while to get over my sadness of not having a vaginal birth, medicated or not, and the mommy wars over it are ridiculous!
My tai ji teacher (who kicks ass – none of that arm-waving shit) says that most people don’t understand the difference between pain and strong sensation. Not to diminish the pain of labor (2 and a half days – no drugs for me), but I really experienced labor as “intensity” as much – or more – than pain.
I was kinda bummed about the uncontrolled pooping, but I got over that pretty fast since it was at the very end of a long couple of days. I am glad you gave a heads up on that part of the process. I think I missed that day in class.
Kate Sciandra recently posted..Seeing Without Suffering
My first baby was sunshine and giggles. I smiled and laughed while pushing this beautiful little boy out. Lovely pain meds. No pain and my contractions just tightened my belly and left. Beautiful little story. Well NONE of that happend with my 2 child. When I read or see someone on tv acting like they are giving birth my chest tightens and I feel sick. The pains was menstural cramps trying to kill me and the epidural tried to kill me as well. He poked me in the the spine 5 times before he “found” the right spot.It made my heart go super low and they gave ephedrine and my heart jumped so much, alarms went off and nurses rushed in. They ended up sticking a wire in my son’s head through my whoohoo. 7 hrs later they ended up yanking him out of me with forceps. No pain meds ever worked. I was looking for the light! The nurse kepted telling me to stop screaming! I pray to God that was much worse than a natural birth, because I will never understand why someone would do that to themselves. You amaze me by doing it!
I had my babies at home with midwives, and no meds., and have attended many births as a midwife myself. The key to getting through the pain is to let go, and let it happen. Your body knows what to do, if you let it. The experience is so empowering, and yes, primal! When you mask the pain with medication, you are really missing out on something special, and relinquishing your own power as a woman, and as a mother. Of course, sometimes medical intervention is necessary, but I say avoid it if you can!
That is the biggest load of bullcrap. Relinquishing power as a woman and mother? Giving women the option of meds or no meds is giving them the power to choose whatever they want.
Lisa, I agree w/ you. Giving women the autonomy to choose what they feel is the right decision does not make them less of a mother or woman. It’s ridiculous to say that someone is giving up their power as a woman because they choose pain relief. Relief of pain can often make a woman relax enough to allow her body to “do the work” that it’s supposed to do.
Jessica, I agree that sometimes an epidural allows a woman to relax enough to let the contractions do the job. I’ve seen it happen. And I don’t mean to diminish anyone who does choose this. I just feel that it’s unfortunate that we have been conditioned to fear birth, and to fear pain so much that we try to fight something so natural as giving birth. When we tense up and fight it, it hurts so much more, and the interventions just snowball. It doesn’t make anyone less than, I just think it’s a shame.
I agree choice is our greatest tool! I had my first with IV analgesic and my second naturally with no meds. Both births were amazing because I had beautiful children all healthy. Given a choice I preferred without pain killers just because I felt more in control but not sure I would have made it through the first one without that one shot at 4 in the morning I was exhausted and 17 after 13 hrs labour and not much progression
What a crock! This may well have been your experience but please, your implication is that anyone who uses meds is a lesser person/mother. We all have our own limits and if you need meds take them, if not, well, it’s not like you receive a medal or anything. The end result is that we all receive a beautiful, healthy bundle of baby.
Everyone has different levels of pain because EVERY childbirth is different. Do not diminish the choices of others because you chose a different path and have a different opinion. You’ll notice that those who used drugs are generally supportive of those who didn’t. I had one with and one without for reasons related to each individual pregnancy, so a blanket statement that I “gave up my power” is not just incorrect, it is demeaning.
I’m sorry to offend, and, as I said, sometimes medical intervention is necessary. When we let the medical establishment tell us (as they have for decades now) that we need pain relief, when in fact women have been birthing without it for thousands of years, I believe it is giving up our power, and losing out on a very powerful experience. When a L/D nurse says, “ready for that epi now?” when you’re struggling through a contraction, she is encouraging you to give in when you are most vulnerable. There are so many ways to work through the pain without meds, and the fact is babies often do suffer when meds are administered. The frequency of c-sections found necessary after an epi has been given is much higher, because babies’ heartrates tend to drop, and being unable to move, the mother can’t change positions to help things along. Sure, you have the power to choose to not experience childbirth in all it’s messy, painful, glorious ways, but if you think you can’t do it without meds, (with rare exceptions), you’ve been duped.
“When you’re struggling through a contraction, she is encouraging you to give in when you are most vulnerable.”
That’s not encouragement, that’s concern. Human beings do not like seeing other human beings in intense pain. Nurses often enter their line of work because of compassion, and they know they hold the keys to things that can relieve the intense pain a labouring woman is experiencing. Sure, maybe they’re just tired of hearing you scream from down the hall, or they want to get it going quicker so they can free the room for another labouring woman, but they’re not offering drugs to undermine your POWER, of all things. They’re offering drugs to help you.
I know most nurses are very compassionate, and they usually are suggesting drugs because they don’t want to see anyone suffer. Their intentions are noble, but the message can come across as, “you can’t do this, you need help.” What I like to tell a woman who is reaching the end of her rope is, “You can do this, you are a strong and powerful woman,” and help her breathe, and relax, and whatever she needs to get through that one contraction, then the next, and the next. While offering pain meds is not intentionally taking anything away from the experience, the end result can be just that. I’m not condemning anyone, just saying that to me, it’s sad that we, as a society, have gotten so far away from seeing birth as a natural life event, and turned it into a medical event.
Migraines are a natural life event, yet I still take drugs for that and don’t consider myself giving up power… Do what you want or need to do – it’s hurtful to judge others for their choices.
No, Diane, migraines are not a natural life event, that’s an illness. Childbirth is not an illness, and rarely is a medical event. I’m not judging anyone.
Wendy, I see so many people arguing with you so I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what you are saying. There is a very deep state of being you enter during the birthing process and you lose access to that when you are on pain medications. In addition, there are risks for the mother and the baby. I work as a doula and I work with moms who chose both options (and I love and respect them all!). Over and over again, however, I see many differences between the two and the natural births almost always go better.
Agreed 1000%!
realmomofnj recently posted..How Being a Blogger Is Like Trying to Win an Oscar
Yeah, I doubt I would have been prepared. I wanted to go all natural but ended needing to be induced at 37 weeks due to PreE. 12 hours of nothing then I got as far at my Dr stripping my membranes (she told me she was breaking my water, BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!) before I called for the anesthesiologist. Ended up having a c-section because no amount of force was going to open my vag up to get my bubby out! If I have another, I’ll talk a big game, but damn that c-section recovery was breeze….
Pass the drugs I say. I had to be induced due to GD and asked for the Eli as soon as I felt any discomfort. Would’ve asked for it even if not induced. Just don’t see any point in being in pain if you don’t have to be.
Honestly I don’t get it. You don’t get a medal for it, being a martyr doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Pain medication is there to help you, so take the help instead of suffering far worse than necessary. My meds didn’t work and I wish to God that they had. Do what you want to do, I’m not judging really, but I don’t get it. Never have.
100 percent with you!
I didn’t get the vibe that the OP was being a martyr, but lordy there are some moms that are. The mom’s that tell their kids they were in labor X number of hours with them just make me roll my eyes. I had a super easy pregnancy, and ended up with a gorgeous child in the end, who cares how he got there!
For me attempting to go natural wasn’t about being a martyr. Like a lot of other folks, I don’t tolerate most medications well. It seems to be a family trait. Drugs, even the relatively weak ones scared the crap out of me. I eventually asked for the IV meds when the fear my hips would come out of socket got to be too much, and I asked for something to help with the nausea with my eldest. If I’d known the anti nausea medicine they typically give in the hospital would induce petite maul seizures throughout active labor and have me half out of my head for my daughter’s first three days, I never would have taken it!
I have no patience for a “martyr complex.” You’re right, suffering pain for bragging rights is dumb, but there are a lot of other reasons one would want to avoid heavy medications.
Amanda recently posted..When Work and Health Collide
I really wanted natural births, but with my first two sons I was forced to lay on my back in the hospital and it made my contractions so much more painful than when I was standing or moving around. My 3rd pregnancy we planned a home birth. I was in labor for 48 hours, but being able to walk, lean over, and rock through contractions made the pain very tolerable. I thought I had a long way to go still because the pain was never like it was when I was at the hospital, but suddenly it was time to push. In fact, my husband delivered our baby because we called the midwife so late (because my contractions never got as close as 5 minutes apart and the pain was not bad) that should couldn’t make it in time. I’m thankful we planned a home birth because otherwise my son would have been born in the car on the way to the hospital.
I think it’s difficult to have a natural birth in a hospital & I would likely have an epidural if I ever had to labor in a hospital again, but my experience (and I know everyone’s is not the same) was that when your body is able to do what feels natural the pain is very manageable.
Sarah Parisi recently posted..Dr. Seuss Birthday Events 2013
I don’t love pain (I’m not an athlete, I don’t have tattoos, each ear is pierced but once) but I had an unmedicated childbirth and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. It makes me think that perhaps I have endured a lifetime of worse-than-average menstrual pain and just soldiered on through that.
The day I royally sprained my ankle was much, MUCH more painful than childbirth, at least for me.
Aimee recently posted..Down the Rabbit Hole, or Where I Wound Up
And let’s not forget, if the baby is laying on certain nerves the epidural only works on half the body anyway! 6 births for me, 2 completely natural by choice, 1 with epidural that worked, and 3 with epidurals that either only worked on half my body or not at all until AFTER the baby was born. With the proper mental attitude and preparation natural childbirth can be done, yes it hurts like HELL, but it is not always awful! Without the proper mindset going in, natural childbirth can be an awful experience. If you are well prepared for a natural birth and then it gets to be too much, ask nurses for suggestions (they have seen it all). Childbirth should be a rewarding, wonderful, yes very painful, experience so do what you need to do – and if you get an epidural or C-section you are NOT a failure! Just go with it!!
I had 2 children, one 8lbs15oz and one 8 lbs, without any meds. Not because i didnt want them, or got to the hospital too late but because my doctors were evil torturers who like to watch people suffer. Well thats what i thought during delivery anyway. i was glad(once it was over) that i didnt get an epidural.
Thank You for speaking the truth!!
I was desperate to crawl out of my own body.
Never again…
I had an epidural with my first, and it was the worst mistake ever. They stuck me in the wrong place twice (which ended up screwing up my back) and then, after they did it right, the damn thing didn’t even work very well. After having my son, I ended up in the ER over 20 times in 2 years because my back would get so screwed up I couldn’t walk. I had 2 more babies all natural. They were so much easier. Yes, it hurt (more with my second, because it was all back labor), but I felt much better afterwards, and I feel like my babies did better when I had them without drugs. When(if?) I have another, I will definitely go without drugs again, and I want to have a home birth.
So sorry that happened to you. :( It’s stories like yours that confirm my decision to give birth at home with a midwife rather than at a hospital where at the very least, I’ll be rushed along, likely induced and wind up with an unnecessary c-section or worse.
Um, I guess I’m politically incorrect because while I give this gal props for her perseverance, I also think it is crazy to put yourself through all that pain for no reason. I had csections that were a breeze–children’s APGAR scores were off the chart , they were alert and healthy! Friends that had vag births with meds and epis or without had same results. The coaches/midwives act as though your child will come out addled from pain meds, not true. I see NO reason to torture yourself like this when there isn’t much if a benefit for the baby. Just seems stupid–might as well skip the novacaine for your next root canal too. Modern medicine provides pain relief–use it if you don’t want to scream, plead, and curse at everybody.
It’s not for “no reason.” We all have our reasons for making the choices we make. I’ve given birth to three kids both ways (with meds and without) and I definitely preferred my two unmedicated births, both for my health and the health of my newborns. But it’s a really personal choice. Only you can say what is right for you.
Leslie recently posted..She tried to kill him with her WHAT?
I’ve had 5 kids and only 2 were “completely natural” , no drugs. The ones that I had meds with I had complications (twins) or preeclampsia which is a whole other story believe me. However the first time I had a baby without drugs my labor was only about 4.5 hours long and I got to the hospital 8cm dilated. After she was born I felt amazing, like I could totally do anything. With baby number 3 (17 months later) I was induced but not really in labor so I didn’t feel like I needed drugs but my water broke and sent me into labor on steroids and she was born in about an hour and a half. It was amazing and I always say that she shot out like greased lightening. There are times I’m amazed that I survived all of them ;)
This is the best description I have ever heard. It is so hard to explain what it feels like to people. You put it all in there. Both my girls were natural deliveries and I did find myself “looking for the light”. I joke now that I really thought I would just pass out because no human should be in that much pain…but I got through it. And I definitely recommend getting there advanced labor – it makes it just that much more bearable. Well written! Thanks!
Andrea recently posted..10 Of The Best Indoor Birthday Party Locations
I say bring on the pain meds! LOL!
Word. Best decision I ever made, having the epidural. I had a lovely birth, nothing but happy memories.
This was awesome. So many great points! Love your description about the primal noises. Spot on!
Leslie recently posted..She tried to kill him with her WHAT?
After my water broke, went right to the hospital. Had an immediate epidural and pitocin. Waited all day to dialate, but felt absolutely no pain and the labor was only 10 minutes long. I was so lucky, it was so easy and painless. For me, drugs were the way to go.
Postpartum…well, that’ a different story not related to labor…
I had to have a C-section with my first so that was out. I had planned on having a natural birth with my second and completely chickened out. Turns out that was the best this to do. Apparently I wasn’t progressing until the drugs because I would tense up really bad from the pain. After the meds my second was born within an hour.(6 hours of labor) My third, same thing. I knew I needed the meds. After about 3 hours they finally gave it to me and within an hour she was born. I tensed up so bad from my 3rd I bruised my lower back muscles. I couldn’t sit or lay comfortably for 2 wks.
I just have one question for you – why???
I have three kids and I’ve done it both ways – with drugs and natural. For different reasons, both bit the big one. But then you get this sweet little angel, and it’s all worth it. And then they turn into teenagers, and it starts biting the big one again, but that’s a whole other story LOL. Loved this!
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Great list!
I had my first 3 without drugs. When I was preggers with #4, I woke up in the night, remembering the pain. I called the midwife by 7am, demanding an epidural contract!
In the end, we all choose whatever path is best for us. Meds, no meds, whatevs.
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Absolutely agree! Animal sounds? You bet! I became friends with a woman years later and we discovered they we were giving birth the same night in the same hospital. She said to me, “Oh! You’re the one who was making so much noise!” LOL!! Yup, that was me. Felt like someone told me to rip my arm off! (I’ve used that expression more than once, so I laughed when I saw it in your article as well.)
I had my first with an epidural–for many reasons–and it was a protracted labor and I tore horribly because he was “sunny side up” with huge shoulders. He needed suction and foreceps to get him out. Twenty-one stitches later (and a hoohaw that hasn’t been the same since), I decided #2 would be sans medication. SERIOUSLY HARD and painful with #2, but no stitches (although he was actually smaller)!
I should add that childbirth has changed over the last 18 years. My water broke naturally with both; for the first they insisted on inducing me within 24 hours (which is one of the reasons I think he had so much trouble coming out), and with the second, 5 years later, they were very nonchalant about my water breaking. Most women go into labor within 72 hours of their water breaking, they said, and they were right!
And to the women saying that kids have trouble latching on when you’ve had medication: Both of my kids had trouble latching on, even after a lactation consultant. Stop always blaming the drugs.
Two different pregnancies, two completely different birth experiences. Sounds about right. :)
I agree that the conversation about “natural” birth vs. medicated births ends up being a conversation with too much self-righteousness on all sides. I can see why, for some women, they would feel that an un-medicated birth would be something that they would want to try. But I have a serious problem with the label “natural” childbirth. As if all women who produce a child did not do it “naturally”! I had the most un-”natural” birth possible — an emergency, brutal, and frantic c-section — but I still gave birth to a baby, which is an inherently “natural” act. I wanted to have a “natural” birth, not because of any philosophical objections to pain medications but because I was more scared — until I actually FELT labor — of needles and pain medication than I was of pain. Once the pain hit and I had a fast and intense labor, I couldn’t have cared less about what was going into my body or about needles and I just wanted the pain gone! Epidurals are a beautiful, beautiful thing.
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I didn’t for one minute consider going drug-free. Why? Because I’m a chicken shit. I knew I couldn’t handle it. I had a friend that gave birth just a few months before me and she went all natural. She told me as bad as she didn’t want to scream, she did, and all hell broke loose after the first one. I’m pretty modest when it comes to stuff like that, so her story scared me to death. Props to you for being a bad ass!
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I had a friend tell me she was seeing colors and vomiting through transition because of the pain. It took me a long fucking time to get past that when preparing for my own natural birth. A long fucking time. lol.
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I have to give my mom a LOT of credit in helping me deal with childbirth. She had me naturally, which was pretty unusual for the time, but she was in a developing country and didn’t have any choice, so she knew what it was like. And she told me: Labor means work. Childbirth is basically a lot of hard work, but if you work with your body, it won’t be nearly as painful. And was she ever right! It also helped me to not be as scared. No, it’s not fun, but our bodies are made for it. And I definitely bounced back a lot faster by going unmedicated, too.
Never ceases to amaze me how incredible women are to be able to bring a life into this world. Great stories!
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I got an epi after 12 hours of labor but I wish I didn’t. Even though I couldn’t feel the pain, my body still lived it. I was so numb and miserable being stuck in that bed. I felt like a beached whale. I was nausated by the pain and had to have the nurses and husband lean me forward to vomit b/c I didn’t have control of my own body. Once I thought I was going to choke on my own vomit. I think if I have another child I would do a better job preparing mentally for the pain and I would skip the Epi if at all possible. Also the Epi isn’t perfect, it really hurt getting stitched up afterwards since I had 2nd degree tears. I guess a plus side was I didn’t feel myself rip.
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is very likely, how likely was I to want meds? 9! And they couldn’t find a vein to get an IV in, so none for me!
I LOVE these tips! I have 7 kiddos and went natural with the last three. I truly wish I had gone natural all 7 times. It’s no walk in the park and requires preparation, but it’s a choice I would make again!
That’s just how I knew it was the right decision: I would absolutely do it again sans drugs. Even the moment after RealBoy was born I knew I’d go natural again if I had a third. Good for you, Mama!
realmomofnj recently posted..How Being a Blogger Is Like Trying to Win an Oscar
Definitely agree that natural childbirth is a marathon, not a sprint! I had an epidural with my first, but really wanted to go drug-free with my second, so I started preparing to have that baby when I was 4 months pregnant.
Really, I didn’t think it was all that bad. I was prepared, and I got to sit in a hot bath in the hospital for most of it, using my self-hypnosis techniques I had taught myself in preparation. I had a long labor (36 hours!) but I certainly was not screaming in pain. Just when I thought maybe the pain was too much, it was time to push and that baby was out in five minutes. I didn’t even care that there was pain when I was pushing- the adrenaline rush was so powerful that the pain was overshadowed.
I did make a lot of grunting noises, but I didn’t yell at anyone. And my recovery was heavenly compared to my epi birth. I was literally up and walking around, feeling good the next day. I could sit down on a chair! Took we weeks to be able to do that after my epi birth.
I definitely wouldn’t say that there is “no reason” to go natural. There are many, many good reasons to do so. Even so, if you don’t want to there are drugs available so you don’t have to. However, with the right preparation I believe it doesn’t have to be as awful as you might think. It really is a powerful experience. After you do that, you have the confidence to do anything.
We don’t get anywhere by criticizing each others choices, however all women should research the actual risks of medical interventions in childbirth. Things happen, epidurals and c-sections happen for MANY MANY reasons, but to go into childbirth without looking at the very real negative medical implications of medical interventions is ignorant.
I have 1 kid and had him naturally…I wanted an epidural but the labor progressed so fast that it wasn’t possible. Since then I am in nursing school and have learned so much about the actual process and medicalization of the birthing process. I am pregnant with my 2nd and plan on having this baby in a hospital just in case a complication arises. But truly, you need to educate yourselves and assess the risks to you and your baby and longterm outcomes instead of going in with a one-track mine to get medications as soon as you get there, you will be surprised about what you learn!
I was one of those moms who never intended to go through natural childbirth, and with my first child, because my water broke and they induced the rest, it was an epidural-coated walk on the beach, with my hair still in a fairly neat little bun on the top of my head after I finished. With my second, it happened too fast, so the epidural was not an option, and my husband said he’d never seen fear like that on a person’s face. His words were “caged animal.” I was beyond terrified, and holy crap, did it hurt. I loved your description of the sounds that are made, because “lonely whale’s mating call” was spot on. But as soon as labor was done, I felt like a rock star on top of the world and wanted to go through it again someday, and that is the truth, and that is why a lot of people want to punch me in the head.
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Absolutely cracks me up and choke full of truth. I had two kids in Norway during the summer months. I assumed that would be a lovely time to deliver a bundle of joy, but no one told me that doctors skip town when the sun arrives. They also neglected to tell me that the odds of getting an epidural were slim to nile. Oh, the memories! Great post. Made me laugh out loud.
Absolutely true!!! I had a homebirth so there really were no drugs but IMAGINING the pain I had been in with my first birth (posterior and with way too much pitocin) and preparing how I was going to deal with it was lifesaving. And, fyi, it never got that bad :)
I wanted to have an unmedicated birth…my water broke…went to the hospital immediately. I labored for 13 hours…hard and so painful I was borderline delirious at which point the docs finally checked me and I was a mere 3.5 cm dilated. WTF?! I knew I couldn’t do it…my body was so seized up it wasn’t doing what it needed to. Having said that. I went into it having done less preparation than I now realize is necessary. 21 hours of labor and my babe arrived. I hope for an unmedicated birth the 2 nd time and this time I will know what I am in for and how to prepare!
Too bad you didn’t write this a week and a half ago, I could have prepared myself a bit better!
Spot on with all your points.
*Baby boy #3 born at home, after two c sections, Feb 17th at 7:25am.
Good for you and your VBAC!! That is bad-ass right there.
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Thank you. I guess I should also add, that daddy caught him… in the bath tub… no midwife :-)
N°1 : natural. And yes I hurled insults at my nearly fainting husband.
N°2 : epidural. Way better.
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I remember growling like a lioness. I don’t know where that came from. Also, I had a doula and she and I had agreed that when I asked for the pain meds, she would suggest I wait for 5 more contractions. By the time that happened, the experience was so intense that I forgot I could get pain meds. In the end, I’m happy that she came out naturally. I was up and walking within the hour. It made me feel bad-ass!
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TIP: Don’t get pregnant! No baby=no pain.
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Three kids, three different experiences: epidural, totally natural, and c-section. Of all three, the natural one was the best (maybe not pain wise but definitely rucuperation wise.) To me, this post was to inform women who make the choice or are considering having a natural birth. She didn’t advocate for it being better than other methods or tell you which route to take. Your baby: your way.
Oh, and the primal noises. I’ll never forget the women in the baby swaddling class the next morning asking who was the natural delivery mom because “the sound” was so telling.
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Tried all of that. Then when labor stalled out in terms of progression at the hospital’s preferred rate, the goal became “don’t let them cut me.” After 4 kids what I learned about my body vis a vis child birthing is that it enjoys hanging out at the 90 seconds on/30 seconds off, stabbing-up-ass-with-a-carving knife, stuck-6-cm-forEVER zone for a really long time. Happened every time. I got an epidural. No shame. No regrets. Good for you for making it to the end :)
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I had 3 kids naturally, and never gave it much thought. In the Netherlands they will only give you an epidural if you have complications, other wise they believe the risk is too high.
With an epidural your body will more like struggle to get the baby out as it does not FEEL anything. If you manage to listen to your body (through the sometimes pretty damned agonising pain) you will do much better, and have less chance on forceps and episiotomy etc.
And, never forget you will feel so much better after if you have not been sliced open!
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I had a homebirth with my son (now 11), after having a medicated hospital birth with my daughter (almost 18). I’ll take the homebirth anyday!
I am a pain wimp. In fact, I have several pain conditions. And yet….childbirth was not as bad as I thought. Yes, my labor was a sprint at 4 hrs. I had one moment when I thought “I can’t do this” but–not having drugs available–I kept going!
Worst pain I ever had was gallbladder removal. I swear I thought I was dying in recovery. I’d rather go thru natural childbirth again *any day*.
I wasn’t all that noisy. Maybe. I was breathing rather heavy but there was no time for the midwife to get me some oxygen–my son was coming NOW. It couldn’t have been too bad–my dog stayed to watch, and perhaps one of the cats. Between my DH and my DD, they helped me relax and breathe (nothing cuter than a 6 yo going “breathe mommy you’re doing good!)
Recovery was a cinch. No one could believe the next day that I had just given birth at the pede’s office. I FELT better with no drugs bogging me down.
Definitely, meds are there for a reason. Some moms do need them. But if you can try without…you might find you’re stronger than you thought ;)
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So true! I had six natural births and they were all hard beyond words! The first reaction I get is….”Why?” Well it is my personal choice but people just don’t understand. I’m in no way a pro, no matter how much you mentally prepare I don’t think your ever ready for the actual process. And your right even with my sixth child I swore I would never have sex again and made my hubby feel like crap for allowing me to want to have another child. In the end once you hold that baby it seems like a distant memory.
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Lmfao!!! Seriously I’m still wiping the tears from my eyes. I just gave birth to my 3rd and I went “all natural” this.time around. The first 2 were in hospital totally drugged easy births….so I was confident that natural child birth would be cake. WOW was I in for the most painful experience ever!!! I seriously thought I was going die!!! I can totally relate to everything you said and more!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!
Ha. I just commented on another post that I wish I’d spent way less time worrying about an unmedicated birth last time. Good to know that the difference between me and gals who make it through is marathon-training-like time investment. I’m impressed, but much, much more relaxed about just getting the epidural if I throw up from the pain at 11 p.m. and 2 cm dilated again. So I’m not even remotely 1000% committed.