Video For Age-Reversing Neck Tape Goes Viral Because WTF Is This?

You can use this neck tape, or you can just say ‘f*ck it’ and age like a normal human

Ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I wish my neck had the appearance of being pulled back, as if someone had duct taped it.” Of course you haven’t, because WTF? A video is going viral right now advertising a product called “Nexsey.” It’s surgical-grade tape that you can use to tape loose skin on your neck back. You really can’t make this stuff up.

“Age reversing tape?” No. That is not a thing. It’s all well and good until you’re 30 minutes into your date and your neck flaps out during dinner.

‘Nexsey is that quick fix we’ve all been waiting for,” the video says. “Simply cut off the amount you need, then pinch the back of your neck and secure it.”

“The strong tape pulls back your skin, making you appear slimmer and more youthful.”

“As with many new beauty tools there is an application and learning curve that may take some time to perfect, but once you do it should get faster and easier,” the website reads. Translation: you will rip out so much hair and your neck will flop out during dinner a few times before you get the hang of it. Sorry!

Okay, I get it. I’m in my forties, absolutely nothing is where it once was. My ass is bigger, my boobs are droopier, and I can almost see the collagen draining from my skin daily. But I refuse to believe we’re at the point where we’re using surgical grade tape to give ourselves the illusion of youth.

Welp. I’ve been wrong before.