Women need to take less shit, and this viral tweet is here to help
In just about every setting, a woman is potentially up against some challenging behavior. At work, we can be interrupted and minimized. On the street, we’re fodder for every man with a voice box and no home training. It’s exhausting. So one woman decided to make a list of phrases all women should practice to rebut some of these annoying interactions.
good statements for women to practice:
1) you interrupted me. i’m not finished talking.
3) that isn’t funny
4) that isn’t appropriate
4) i already know that
5) that won’t be necessary
6) leave me alone
7) you’re making me uncomfortable
8) stop ignoring what i’m saying
— gem Ⓥ (@vegbby) November 15, 2017
The items on the list are: “You interrupted me. I’m not finished talking,” “no,” “that isn’t funny,” “that isn’t appropriate,” “I already know that,” “that won’t be necessary, “leave me alone,” “you’re making me uncomfortable,” and “stop ignoring what I’m saying.”
Twitter user @vegby shared the list last week, and it’s already been retweeted more than 100,000 times and liked almost 300,000 times. Chrissy Teigen shared the list, and lots of women chimed in about how it was making them feel.
Aside from "no", I honestly don't think I have ever uttered these other statements and I kind of cringe even thinking about saying them. That is not right. Good post good post. https://t.co/0kbBXhX9HL
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 16, 2017
It’s pretty fucked up that in practice, I personally would feel like “you interrupted me, I’m not finished talking” is rude. I have to work on that.— 3rd Round Erika S. (@rinkrebel) November 16, 2017
It has taken me a LOOOONG time to be able to speak up to make co-workers and 1/2 the time I still apologize for it 🤦🏼♀️— Alicia S (@AliciaS20) November 16, 2017
Ugh, I can't tell you how many times I've fake-laughed at a man's awful, unfunny joke.— Jamie (@NegligentTaco) November 17, 2017
I hear the statement often that women aren't as funny as men. I think part of it is it's just that women often fake-laugh at men's jokes & men generally don't fake-laugh at women's.
I recently had a job where every other joke was either sexist or homophobic. I asked the guys there "Is all your humour based in homophobia?". Was asked to tell a joke to denonstrate my own sense of humour. 🙄— T 💙💜💖 (@T_MECE) November 16, 2017
And just because our point always has to be proven, on the original thread men immediately showed up to contest the contents of the tweet, and mansplain why even such a list existing was somehow reverse sexism. Spoiler alert: reverse sexism is not a thing.
i’ve never had problems with women not saying those things. i grew up the youngest and only boy in the house with 5 women for 16 years. i’m not saying al women are like that. but keep in mind rape culture exists with men too.— dakota (@tylerhpeseoj) November 15, 2017
No. No it doesn’t.
It’s good if women can stand up for themselves using this language.— Tom Ruijterman (@slightlycrunchy) November 16, 2017
But there’s a whole mass of women who only talk in this way to men. It really puts me off talking to them. Yes, stand up for yourself when required but can we also emphasise treating each other with kindness.
“Putting you off” is the point.
Looks good to me but, I like changing the word "women" to "people".— Fox (@EncodedVoid) November 16, 2017
Of course you do.
Good advice to employers, don’t employ women who aren’t grown up enough to have an adult conversation— wit (@wit_xx) November 16, 2017
This is a case of spectacularly missing the point.
Women can’t even make a sorely needed list without some men showing up and making it about them. This is the point. This is why these reminders are so needed.
The most frustrating thing about this list is the fact that we all know how these responses would be received at work, by men. Not well. But this is a good reminder that this discomfort is something a lot of us feel. Print out the tweet and shove it in your work bag if necessary. Look at it as a reminder that you’re allowed to respond to these types of interactions earnestly. Then the next time your co-worker makes that ridiculously sexist joke, try one on for size.
“That isn’t funny.”