Heather is a working mother of three very active children, ages 11, 9, and almost 5. When she isn’t “Working” she is busy chauferring her children to their various games and practices where she has perfected the role of Mommy Cheerleader. She enjoys her life in the fast lane and is hopeful that she isn’t doing too much damage as helps her children navigate their way through tweenhood, boyhood, and preschool. Read more at Making it Work Mom.
Mothers live and breathe milestones. Milestones tell us that we have done our job. We get to check one more thing off our Mommy list. It feels good.
Usually milestones are celebrated loudly. We announce them on facebook, tweet them on Twitter and gush to our co-workers and friends. There is one milestone though that tends to be celebrated in a more reserved manner. The event is certainly significant; it is just not one of those things you sing from the mountain tops. It is the pinnacle Mother/Daughter milestone: the day you Welcome your Daughter into Womanhood. You know the day she gets her period.
It should be incredible. You get to share your womanly wisdom and extol about the beauties of being a woman. It should be a making a memory moment.
Well, that is, if you don’t totally screw it up. Like I did. I had no Claire Huxtable moment. In fact I didn’t even have a Peg Bundy moment. I had a hide your head in shame; you don’t even get a do over moment. Yes I did. I totally sucked at welcoming my daughter into womanhood.
I certainly did not have any reason to believe that my TweenStar would be starting her period. She just turned 11 and she is incredibly athletic and active. She is 4’9” and about 80lbs. She is not DEVELOPED at all. People, she doesn’t even have armpit hair. She looks like a child. I, of course, was aware that sometime in the next 3 years she would start her period. I just had not planned for it to happen NOW. I repeat she does not even have armpit hair!
I had purchased a couple of those helpful “know you body” books for TweenStar and had subtly left them on her bed. No pressure. Why? Because her body wasn’t really changing much! And I knew she had looked through them. I wasn’t totally negligent. I had done some prep work. We just hadn’t had THE TALK yet. We had not actually sat down together and discussed All the Nitty Gritty Details. I am a procrastinator by nature and the fact that she was not developed at all lulled me into thinking I had all the time in the world. I figured I would let the public school system do their spiel with all the biology and science and then I would swoop in afterward and give a realistic perspective, softening up all the technical mumbo jumbo. I would then collect my Mommy of the Year award.
*Big Sigh*
So let’s set the scene.
It is about 7:30 in the evening and TweenStar and I are sitting on the couch enjoying a little girl time as we watch trashy reality TV. TweenStar gets up to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later I hear “Mom, come here”. I am not overly concerned. I am actually more annoyed at having to get up from my comfy spot on the couch. I go into the bathroom and find a terrified looking TweenStar.
“Um I just went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was some blood.” Panic has seeped into her voice.
Now in a perfect world this is the moment where I smile, give her a hug, and then whip out the “Welcome to Womanhood Care Package” that I had lovingly put together in anticipation of this moment. Let’s just take a moment and think about how fantastic that would have been.
Unfortunately I don’t live in a perfect world. I live in My World, which is far from perfect. I admit I was in a little bit of shock. Okay, maybe a lot of shock. I don’t even really think I fully processed what she was saying. So instead of being Mother of the Year I became Mother of Denial.
“Oh yeah, hmmmm. You know what maybe you just scratched yourself. You know remember like you did when you were two and potty training. I bet that is what it is.” Right because that makes so much sense – talk about grasping at straws.
TweenStar is looking at me oddly.
“Yeah I am sure you are fine. Uh let’s just wait like 30 minutes and then you can go check again. Sound good?” I am nodding my head like a bobble head. I feel myself breaking out in a cold sweat.
“OoooooKay. I guess.”
“Good Good”, and then I actually ran out of the bathroom. Yes, I ran.
I returned to the couch where I sat for thirty minutes in a cold sweat soaked panic.
Thirty minutes later TweenStar goes back into the bathroom.
I hold my breath waiting for her to return. I whisper a few prayers to Mother Nature.
TweenStar returns.
TweenStar: “Yeah mom I think you were right. I think I did just scratch myself.”
Exhale
Me: “Great! Good! I so totally thought that is what it was.”
And I actually pretended I believed this scenario. I did. I really really did. I felt great about it and even made a mental note to start putting together the Welcome to Womanhood Care Package ASAP. I slept well that night.
Now fast forward to the next morning.
Me to TweenStar: “How are you doing this morning, ya know”, gesturing wildly.
TweenStar: “Fine”
Me: “Great!” I feel triumphant.
And so there I was living in my lovely little bubble of denial. I wasn’t even alone; I had dragged my TweenStar into the bubble with me. It was a Big Bubble of Denial.
And then the bubble burst.
I went up to the TweenStar’s room and started picking up her dirty clothes from the floor. As I was picking up her pajamas from the night before I saw the evidence.
I was knew at that moment that I was now in the midst of the Mother of all Mothering Fails. Yup she definitely had started her period.
I called TweenStar up to her room and we had a little heart to heart talk. It was a talk that felt completely weird after I had tried so hard to convince her that she was bleeding because of a non-existent scratch. Um yeah it was totally awkward for both of us.
She cried a little. I sucked back my hysteria because the least I could do was be the strong one, even though I was really sad. I mean she was only 11. She had no armpit hair. I silently cursed my husband and son who would never have this issue. Their “Talk” would last about 3 minutes and end with a fist bump and an “Atta boy, just keep it wrapped up.” Boys suck. I set her up with some pads and we moved on with our day.
I did tell my SuperHubby about the milestone that had been achieved in our house. To say he was less than enthusiastic to hear the details would be an understatement. He now just calls it “The Issue”. For real. He is an enlightened man.
The following Thursday SuperHubby and I arranged it so that I could have a little one on one time with TweenStar. Perhaps I would be able to recoup a little of my self-respect that I had left on the bathroom floor when I uttered the words “I think it is a little scratch”. I brought home some good take out for us and we set up our dinners in the living room to watch TV together.
I was trying very hard to be all nonchalant. You know me cool as a cucumber. I asked her about her day. We ate. We chatted about the TV show. After about 30 minutes I decided to bring up her visit from Mother Nature. I started my little prepared speech.
She immediately interrupts with “I don’t want to talk about it!”
I started again. “I just want you to know I am there for you. What kind of questions do you have?” She is looking at me like I am speaking some foreign language.
She speaks slowly: ‘I. Am. All. Good. I don’t want talk about it anymore.’
Okey dokey.
I suck.
So I now I take baby steps. We talk a little here and there. I don’t push. I take my five minutes and try to give as much as I can. I am her defender now; defending her moodiness and tiredness because of “The Issue”. I am hopeful that 15 – 20 years from now we will be able to laugh about my total mothering meltdown over a glass of wine. I am pretty sure she won’t hold it against me forever, only when she really really wants something. And I am pretty sure that I haven’t scarred her for life; well nothing that a few sessions on the therapist’s couch won’t cure.
So I refuse to beat myself up over it. Anymore.
Luckily I have another daughter. Hopefully I can redeem myself with her. I do know that I have already started putting together my Welcome to Womanhood Care Package for her. I will be prepared next time. Maybe…
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{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS! That is the worst. I can’t believe that happened. I am just freaking out that it happens so flipping young. Seriously! And you are so right. The boy talk is WAY easier than the girl talk!
Life with Kaishon recently posted..beauty everywhere! from the city to the country
Oh no! This is something I have to prepare for! With the rate girls are developing now, I better get my care package ready.
Thanks for sharing! I never had a heart to heart with my mother. One day it happened, I told her, and for some reason she thought she had already given me a few feminine products just in case. Uh, nope.
I hope I have a better experience with my daughter. I’m sure you’ll be able to work things through with yours. Perhaps start on the boyfriend talk now?
Beth recently posted..Thrice Bitten
I just reread that and it sounded rude. Sorry! What I meant was that I hope I have a better experience with my daughter than I had with my mother.
Beth recently posted..Thrice Bitten
Oh God! I totally can’t even think about boyfriends. She has just started to develop an “interest”.
Making It Work Mom recently posted..My Anti-Spring Rant
I had a bad experience with that myself-when I started (also at 11), I was home for summer break. My parents were at work, and it was just me and my little sister at home. I called my mom at work to tell her I had started (because, thanks to that school video, I knew what it was) and her response was “Oh. Umm…I don’t think there are any pads in the house. You know what, just put a bunch of toilet paper in your panties and I’ll pick some up on the way home.” So, uh, yeah. Welcome to womanhood: first stop, mastering the tp torpedo.
Lisa recently posted..Want to know a secret
It could be worse. When I was growing up, some women still continued the old European custom of slapping their daughters at the onset of the first menstruation, I still don’t understand what that’s about. But I got my period at camp, so Mom wasn’t around anyway. And I’ve totally blocked out my response to my daughter getting her period. Bad me.
No!!! I’m glad you were away at camp and not around the old Europeans! That’s crazy! Where in Europe does that hail from? I’m fascinated.
hahaha! that was funny — i can’t believe you said that to her – or how you even could make that scratch-thing up! ;-D
i’m sure she’ll come around – maybe you get a new shot next month! good luck on working on your own panic.
guess it’s easy for me to laugh – my own girl is only 6, so i have a couple of years before it’s my turn to panic!
i remember when my own period started – i’d planned to keep it a secret, especially for my mom – no way was she supposed to give me the talk! but when it came i was so surprised, that i just blurtet it out – so much for not telling! At least your girl wanted to tell you
Yikes. I don’t even want to think about how i am going to do. I will probably totally blow it. My mom was great. She was like Claire Huxtable. i will totally suck. i feel uncomfortable about it already!
myevil3yearold recently posted..2 2 What Were We Thinking
This was such a heart warming story. But you should give yourself a lot more credit. At least she called for you, wanted you to know, and asked her mommy for help. A lot of girls don’t have nearly that close a relationship with their mom. I know when I got mine (many moons ago) I did not even tell my mom. I was so scared and had no idea what the hell was going on. it wasn’t until a few months later my mom noticed her pads missing so she bought me my own and poof that was it.
I think you did great. You weren’t expecting it and handled it great.
And you know what just you being there and letting your daughter know she can come to you anytime is all she will ever remember.
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Skinny Mom’s Kitchen recently posted..The “Mom” Moments That Made Me Fat
Thanks! I never thought about the girls who keep it a secret. I am happy that she shared with me even though we can’t talk about it anymore!!
Making It Work Mom recently posted..My Anti-Spring Rant
Don’t be too hard on yourself. My mom did have the talk with me when I was in 4nd grade (after having been given some interesting “facts” at recess she felt the need to correct some misinformation). Thankfully we chatted because a couple of weeks later….at 9 forgodsake, I started. Our talk didn’t prevent either of us from having a meltdown. Fast forward a few years, on vacation, period started and I decided to use a tampon for the first time. My mother being a very private soul, sent me into the bathroom with the tampax box, instruction sheet inside, and wished me well. I emerged an hour later, barely able to walk, exclaiming that I could use them because “I don’t have a hole there”.
Hey, I didn’t say the talk was complete, or very educational.
Um….that should be 4th, not 4nd. Hey..it’s early here and only 39°.
OHN recently posted..Surgery- love and job loss
Oh God! That is one of the funniest stories yet! I am so not feeling the tampon talk this summer.
Making It Work Mom recently posted..My Anti-Spring Rant
OMG….I’m totally laughing out loud right now! What a story!
I have three teenaged daughters who went from one extreme to the other when it came to having “The Issue”. And yes, you could have knocked me over with a dust mite, (readily available in my house any day of the week) when my 9 year old girl started her period before her big sister. She handled it fairly well until 2 months down the road when she decided to try a tampon so that she could compete in a swim meet with her swim team. I showed her the diagrams. I opened up a tampon and showed her how to manipulate it. then I gave her some privacy while I stood just outside the door. A few seconds later, she said, “Mom, I can’t do it. I need your help.”
So, yes I did.
When it was time for a change, she was unable to remove said tampon, so once again…This time she managed to insert the tampon herself, but she had trouble getting it out. As I aided her in this process, I told her, “You must understand, I don’t want to spend the rest of my days doing this for you. you’ve got to figure this out and soon.” I am happy to say, she is 16 now and I no longer follow her around, changing her tampons for her. Surprisingly, SHE is the one who tells people this story for laughs.
Oh, and as for the talks? I had to have the talk with that same girl the other day about boys and what to expect and how to handle their hormonal urges since she is now dating. After I finished, I asked her if she had any questions. She said, “No, but I think I’m going to throw up now from talking about this with you.”
It never ends.
joann mannix recently posted..Im Gonna Need A Moment
Thanks for the laugh and the reassurance. Somehow I feel that I might be doing the tampon thing with my youngest. We have that kind of special relationship!
Making It Work Mom recently posted..My Anti-Spring Rant
My goodness don’t be so hard on yourself. She’s still your little girl and you’ll have plenty of time to talk about all sorts of things. It’s really not that different from your kid saying I don’t feel good and you just blowing it off and then checking and finding out she has a fever. It happens. I remember being so upset about getting my period because of all the information about womanhood I had and thinking “Why does everybody think I’m supposed to change? I still want to run and play and just because of this I’m supposed to be obsessed with make up and boys? Leave me alone!” (But I was a child feminist). Two of my daughters have gotten their period. We continue to talk about the hygiene part of it. They know that once a girl gets her period can also get pregnant. Health class at school had given them so much detailed info. I don’t expect them to act differently when they have it, but I’ve given Tylenol for cramps. They are so far from being a “woman” — this is just one part of a journey. I have twins. When the first got her period her twin laughed at her, only to get hers 8 days later! ha! I tried to talk to my other girls about what to do if they are with Dad when it comes, I think they heard me, but they were singing with their fingers in their ears at the time. btw — if I want to clear the room all I need to do is say, “Do you want to talk about becoming a woman?” Works every time.
TweenStar is a huge athlete and one of her major concerns was that she wouldn’t be able to play sports when she had her period. Once we got past that she was better.
I think I will try your line when I need some “me” time!
Making It Work Mom recently posted..My Anti-Spring Rant
OHHHH Big hugs to you MOM!!! It is such a challenging time…I know how hard this all is – my 8 year old kept asking about “how the sperm gets to the egg?” and wasn’t satisfied until I laid it all out for her. I was horrified at myself that I wasn’t that AMAZING mom who was so cool talking openly about our bodies and sex and everything. I tried to outsource it to the American Girl Care and Keeping of your body book (I blogged about the whole event in a few posts this past month because she KEPT going back to everything).
You are a fantastic mommy for being there for her and she will talk when she needs to :)
In other funny “The Talk” moments…when it happened to me my mom told my dad (they were divorced) and I was horrified at that in itself. However the next time I went to my dad’s house my step mom BAKED ME A CAKE and sang “Happy Period to You!!!” No joke. You just can’t make this terrifying stuff up! LOL!
zenaliciousmom recently posted..Happy Spring- It’s All About Bugs & The Stomach Bug
The period cake is hilarious!!! I’m sure it was awful for you and I would have died if it had happened to me. Thanks for sharing that!
Amanda recently posted..I am a Neurotic Mother
::sticks fingers in ears and begins to sing to herself:: no way am I ready to even THINK about this. I just celebrated my baby’s 4th birthday yesterday. NO NO NO NO NO… Shit, 11?!?! ELEVEN?!?! That just doesn’t seem right.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system. I think you did a great job, you redeemed yourself. But my first reaction was “Wow she put this on the internet…” I guess none of her friends would ever find your blog, it’s not like you use real names, but still. Now everyone knows. I guess I still remember being embarassed when my dad asked me how I was feeling after my first period and being furious at my mom for telling him. It makes sense now but back then it was tragic LOL.
I’m adding a “make a welcome to womanhood packet” on my calendar for 7 years from now. Great post.
You know what… Now that I think about it my mom never had any of the “talks” with me… I need to plan to do better than that. Again I think you did great, don’t be so hard on yourself.
oh poor Mom and poor Tweenstar! What an awkward situation for both of you. And also a funny situation when you’re on the outside of it. I’m SURE the two of you will laugh about this sooner than you think.
As for moms of boys and ‘the talk’ we don’t get off quite as easy as you think! I’m a pretty liberal person and I thought I’d be all cool with explaining body parts etc. to my kid. But when little man poked at his nether regions in the tub and said, “There’s a ball down there!” I just blurted out “it holds your pee” and cursed my husband under my breath for not being home so my kid could talk to someone who was working with the same equipment.
I did properly educate the little guy and if you’d like to see how that went down, you can check out this post:
When Sex Ed and Geography Collide
http://www.lifeofsaucyb.com/2010/11/when-sex-education-and-geography.html
btw, so glad to see you featured here – really great post.
Awee… it’s never an ‘all. good.’ moment.
I’m kind of glad I have 2 boys… for now ;)
Lady Estrogen recently posted..Im Not Perfect
Love this post… But just remember – It’s our job to do things imperfectly. It boosts our daughters’ confidence that they’ll be able to do it SO much better than we did. I bet she’ll still look back on the sum total and think you made it all look easy!
ChiMomWriter recently posted..AAP Car Seat Guidelines Updated- Car Seats Until Prom
I need to call my mom and thank her. My mom was one of 8 kids and the 3rd girl born. Gramma told her nothing figuring her two older sisters had already taken care of it. She was convinced she was dying. As a result she was always very open from a young age about what was going to happen. I started my period on the first day of 6th grade about 6 weeks after I turned 11. Although my mom had had a hysterectomy years earlier she always kept pads on hand for my aunts how visited frequently. I used all those up and even bought my own package with my allowance before she found out three months later that I had already started. I think she was kinda disappointed that I didn’t need her at the time. I’m thankful that I knew exactly what to expect and it was really no big deal.
My daughter is only 6.5 years old but we are already starting to have preliminary talks about what happens when you grow up. Nothing in depth yet and I try to follow her lead. But she will know before she is 8 what could happen.
Thank you Mom!
Awe, (((HUGS))). My now 12 yr old daughter tried to hide having her period from me. I definitely sympathize.
As for having a talk abut sex, she told me she felt that a health nurse should go talk to her class and then go away never to be seen again. This is not at all like my older daughters who were very open with me and even brought friends over to ask me questions.
My DD is more concerned about getting a cell phone then knowing about the birds and the bees. I told her when she can pay for one she can have one.
Prepare for requests for chocolate and salty, greasy food. Also prepare your kid with a locker kit for those special surprises that can happen at school.
Lots of love,
Rhonda
Oh shit. See, my daughter is 8 and DOES have armpit hair. And other hairs and it freaks me the hell out.
I’m not equipped for my own period and I’m certainly not ready for hers. I reckon I should start preparing my speech now…
Adryon recently posted..WANTED- Babies Just None For Me
It would be interesting to me to read about what all your putting in your Welcome to Womanhood Care Package for your next daughter, so I can make one of my own for my daughter.
ack.
I’ve yet to hear of a good, successful, welcomed “Welcome to Womanhood” talk (despite the kits they sell on Etsy and elsewhere for Period Party kits and such!). Really, it’s kind of a hard sell other than getting to have kids of her one day WAY down the line. How you handled it though will likely be a treasured family tale!
Oh boy. I have 3 girls ages 6, 5 and 14mos. I have no idea when/where to begin with this topic. I think it will be something like your experience, knowing me. Ugh. And maybe I’m a total moron but what is in the “welcome to womanhood” care package??? Besides pads, that is.
I’d put in chocolate and advil LOL. I know aside from pads and tampons that what I need to survive my period. Maybe a book explaining her menstral cycle that’s not too obnoxious.
If it makes you feel better, my 14yr old just flunked the diagram part of her human sexuality unit in health class. She was just “sure the rectum was in the front!”. Yeah, proud parenting moment for me.
I guess we skipped that part of our talk.
Of course it could be because everytime i start “the talk” she runs from the room. I had to convince her that her period had started by showing her the blood on her sheets. SHE was the one in denial – at 14.
We’re all on our own and flailing. At least that’s what I hope.
annie recently posted..Nothing is more Funk-Free than a science fair!
Thank God I have boys.
Erika recently posted..Rhubarb crumb muffins from Tates Bake Shop
I didn’t get the talk… I got a book under my Christmas tree from my g-ma… I was 11. It was a very awkward Christmas that year. I can recall being asked by some lil girl if I knew what a period was… until I got that book… I thought it was the dot at the end of a sentence… so glad I have boys ;D
Ugh! I am also so glad that I have boys. My mom was not prepared for mine either. I fashioned a couple pads out of paper towel, plastic wrap and scotch tape until she got home from work. Then she went all “weeping willow” on me and insisted we go to the store together. GAG! lol
Lana D recently posted..Its Monday AGAIN Meet Me On Monday 39
I was 11 when I started my period & I’m pretty sure my mom was not ready. All she had for me were these huge pads that were obsolete even then. I also was not lucky in where this happened, I was at school & only saved from embarassment cuz I wore dark jeans that day. I will have something ready as soon as my girls turn 11. I dont think you did a bad job at all. she’s going to be moody about it for a while but I bet one month soon she’ll be more willing to talk.
My daughter walked in on my taking care of some woman business a few weeks ago. A few days later we were in a public bathroom and she saw tampon in my purse.
She picked it up and said (very loudly), “Momma, you have a pee pee owie? You got bloody owie on your pee pee? You get a string band aid? I help you?”
The other women in the bathroom tried to stifle their laughter unsuccessfully.
Horrendous, I curl up in a ball every time I picture talking to them about their period…
Theresa recently posted..Has anyone seen the Turnip Truck
My worst fear? Having to bath my newborn son…I dont wanna see his little gross thing. Call me crazy but I wish a daughter!
I don t know if there s a tradition or what, but my mom spread the word in no time . As if I ve done something brave . Neighbours and friends, they all knew and gave me a weird ” You have it know” look.
I so relaxed about it , that I even ” teached” a friend how to put a pad on …There are upside down situations and have plenty to share!
Andreea @Our Journey To USA recently posted..Her Post- How to “bake” a bond with your mother in law
Oh boy (or girl)! The armpit hair is the best defense ever. And it could be much, much more scarring. My mom made me wear white pants to school on my first day. Evil! Your’e okay :)
By way of reassurance: I got my period on the 4th of July, right after I turned 12. My mom gave me a pantiliner (I will just let that sink in – a PANTILINER) AND let me wear white shorts to a 4th of July party. I promise you did better than that, and my mom & I are very close now that I am an adult! I give her the hardest time about it every once in a while. =)
That was a hilarious account! LOL!
Eleven years old! OMG!
Lady-like Pervert recently posted..Silver lining
I am not looking forward to this at all. I remember when this happened to me. I was 12 and I had horrible cramps the day before and had no idea what the were. The next morning I woke up a “woman.” I got the crying and the hug from my mom. I just wanted it to go away.
Jennifer recently posted..Lets talk about gas
yep, cuz we “scratch” ourselves so often ;-). That’s great. Don’t ya just love mommyhood.
ps. I’d be willing to bet that you get it right more than you get it wrong.
well shoot! I don’t have a daughter…boys have milestones too..but they don’t usually want to share those “entering into manhood” ones with their mama. So I’m feeling a little left out :( Plus, boys LOVE their mamas…maybe I should see that as a good thing. I own’t have those mother/daughter fights…but I will also miss out on prom dress excitement, engagment tears, wedding plans…mother of the groom doesn’t have the same ring.
Crystal recently posted..Nobody Knows the Trouble Ive Seen
ah, the dreaded talk. my first kid was easy, no big deal. my 10 year old found some odd little “diapers” in her sisters stuff one day and came to me asking what they were. so we had the talk…. about a year ago. her response was something along the lines of EWWWW, I’m going to lay an egg? what am I? A chicken? that is so gross! she has NO idea what she’s really in for, especially with her sister finding it no big deal to proudly announce at the dinner table that she has “cramps”. UGH! So disgusting. LOL Welcome to womanhood.
Wow. I commend you for getting it together as much as you did. I just gave birth to a baby girl, and I’m already dreading that particular milestone talk. Thank you for sharing. :)
Wow…that’s brutal. Both my girls were way older and it seemed like the ones who got it early were developed somewhat. However, in the annals of screwed up parenting, this will hardly cause a blip. I’m sorrybthis happened to you but your daughter seemed to handle it just fine,
Now the real fun begins…the mood swings, friends drama, etc. Good luck
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) recently posted..In which she had an impact … in memoriam
Oh man! When I heard about someone at my friend’s school getting her period in 3rd grade I promptly had the womanhood talk with my soon to be 4th grader. I started googling adolescence when my daughter told me she had hair down there. Ack! She’s not even 10 and I was such a late bloomer I thought she would have more time. We’re still waiting and I’m still dreading the rest of “the talk”, you know the part about boys.
I can totally sympathize.
But the main thing I kept thinking about as I read this (other than how sometimes I thank God for my three boys) is how absolutely mortified my daughter would be if she read something like this I’d written about us. Is your girl okay with you sharing her story with the world when she doesn’t even want to talk to you about it?
Christa recently posted..Day 161- Super Moon
I don’t think she doesn’t want to talk about it because you panicked. I thinks she just doesn’t want to admit that it happened at all. I never told my mom. She found out when she was doing my laundry 3 months after I started. She was all disappointed that I didn’t want to talk about it and I was all “get over it”. nice, right?
I know when my daughters start I going to screw it up.
Sarah recently posted..What You Wish For
I still remember the awful job my mom did when I got my first period. She had filled me full of all of the basics about womanhood and then added in a few horrible “what ifs.” She told me that after I became a woman, if I had sex, I might get pregnant. She also added in that it could happen if I got raped. So when I started my period at 11, I discovered it in the bathroom after dinner. I started crying hysterically and demanding she come in to help me. She had been mowing the lawn and it took her forever to come in to see me. I remember being terrified. Thanks Mom!! She had a way of over dramatizing every single thing she told me.
See? You did much better than my mother.
I’m grateful I have boys, but when they were born, I decided that I wanted to use anatomically correct terms for body parts. They say penis and it doesn’t bother me at all. When they were 4 or 5, they asked me where my penis was. Crap. Anatomically correct terms when out the door. Mom has a hoohoo.
Amanda recently posted..I am a Neurotic Mother
I don’t mean to laugh at your your pain. So I’ll pretend like I didn’t.
But lets face facts – getting your period sort of sucks regardless of how much of a glossy “now you’re a woman!” spin you put on it. But I love that your husband calls it “the issue” so much that that’s what I’m going to call it from now on. When my husband asks why I’m so crabby I’ll just tell him I’m having “an issue” and let him squirm as he tries to guess which one ;P
Alexis recently posted..How to Use a Toddler Alarm Clock
I am glad you decided not to beat yourself up over how you handled it. I think I read it right here on your blog…that we are all just doing the best we can. And I must thank you for sharing your story. Not that I will ever be prepared for this day when it happens to my daughter, but now I feel a little less clueless. And feeling a little less clueless is always a GOOD thing! Thank you for your humor and insight. I love it!
My daughters are only 6 and 2 but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this…not to marvel in your failure, rather it was to think back to my own moments. I remember my mother telling me what a blessing it was. Well, I will NEVER say that to either of my daughters because I am positive that is NOT what they will want to hear in that moment. Thanks for sharing such an initimate moment.
Jennifer Pereyra
Author, Mommy & Daddy Work to Make Some Dough
http://www.facebook.com/jpauthor
Oh, no, the talk!!!!! I dread it.
People: Do what we do! Have a period party! I’m 3 for 3 with my teen daughters, and the go-to mom for the talk. Get over yourself and talk to your girls! If you can’t, send them my way!
Details on our period party tradition: http://www.returntoworkmom.com/2011/03/period-party-celebrating-curse.html
KMayer recently posted..Early Dismissal Sends Shit Flying
My daughter’s not even 2 and I’m already terrified.
I got lucky in this respect…I decided to give our oldest daughter “THE TALK” one night after soccer practice. She started two days later. I’m telling you I was thanking my lucky stars I’d beaten it by TWO FREAKING DAYS!! I’d done the book thing as well, course that doesn’t do anyone any good when the child in question is dyslexic to the point of being cognatively impaired. I’ve since gone over it with our next oldest, and she’s 10, developing boobs and is all over preoccupied about starting her period lately. I’m thankful we’ve gone over everything because looking back on my first daughter’s experience, I know we can’t take care of it too early. lol And for the record, my oldest didn’t have armpit hair when she hit womanhood either. ;) Apparently we’re lookin’ for the wrong signs!
Woohoo!! Such a nice surprise to see you in my reader!!! YAY!
Oh, mama…I am right there with you…ages now-a-days are getting younger and younger!
Too funny with the scratch…something tells me that number two will be easier!
Kelly recently posted..My Freshly Picked Apple
I followed your post from “for the love of naps”. It is such a good post, and very inspiring. I have 2 girls, one 3 months the other 7. I am not looking forward to “the talk”..thank you for sharing yours! :)
Stacey recently posted..Easter is just around the corner