Then I came across an article when my son was about 6 months old. It was written by a woman who actually read the articles in the peer-reviewed medical journals. And what she found was that the actual data done in well-designed studies just doesn’t support the rabid “breast is best” fundamentalism. There is no “statistically significant” benefit. Anecdotal? Sure. But overall, what the studies show is that the majority of the mothers who breastfeed tend to be more highly educated women with better access to healthcare and are more aware of the kinds of things that lead to better health and higher IQ scores. So really, it’s NOT that the breast milk makes your child smarter, healthier, etc. It’s YOU!

I can’t begin to tell you how furious I was when I discovered this. I felt duped by an industry (AMA, AAP, LLL, etc.) that has acquiesced to the breastfeeding nazis who have a strong lobby. And it’s easier to just agree with them than to point to the data and say their claims are unfounded. My son is now 4 years old and I’m still angry that I emotionally beat myself up over something that isn’t even true.

I’m on a different SSRI now that minimally passes into breast milk. My husband is also in pharmacy school and has befriended a pharmacist whose entire career has been spent studying the expression and impact of drugs in breast milk. He’s essentially a lactation expert from the drug side. If he says it’s safe, I’m going to try to breastfeed my daughter who is due in May. If it’s not safe to do so or she has trouble latching or, God forbid, I experience nipple erosion again, I will not hesitate to give my daughter formula. And I refuse to be berated, beaten down, or made to feel guilty for doing what’s best for me and my child.