10 People Who Make Parenting Harder

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1. The person who thought fish made good carnival prizes. This is the ultimate slap in the face to a parent: You innocently bring your kid to a carnival, someplace you’d rather not be to begin with and are doing soley for the kids, and are forced to leave with a pet. A pet who you will have to feed, whose water you will have to change and whose body you will inevitably have to flush down the toilet. It’s bullshit.

2. The obnoxious sport parent. You know, the one who doesn’t really grasp the whole “fun” concept. The one who yells from the sidelines like a four year old and challenges the umpires. The one who acts like a bigger child than the actual children participating in the game themselves. There’s always at least one. If you’re lucky, they’ll be on the other team.

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3. The rich toothfairy. A dollar a tooth was the going rate when I was a kid, and given the current economic climate, should be the going rate now. When a parent gives their kid ten bucks a tooth, it makes the rest of us look like cheapskates. Besides, should we really encourage paying big bucks for body parts? Seems like dangerous territory to me.

4. Mothers who dress their daughters like whores. Yes, in theory, a mother should be able to dress their child however they deem fit. The problem is that when you dress your child like a slut, my child wants to dress like a slut, too. Can’t we all agree to at least let our kids get to the teen years before they look like mini-hookers?

5. The teacher who taught my kid that “because” is not an answer. I would have appreciated if she’d noted that it is, indeed, an answer if it comes from the parent..

6. The Bar Mitzvah/Christening/Birthday party show-offs. When you throw your kid an obscenely over the top and perfect event, it makes normal parties look lame in comparison. Besides, the every party you throw sets the tone for the following one — who wants to compete with yourself next year?

7. Parents who don’t effectively kill lice. Has there ever been a lawsuit over this? Is three years ago too long for me to press charges? Because I’m still bitter about our lice experience.

8. The party thrower who wires kids. Parents of young party goers buy presents, schelp kids over and help celebrate a birthday they don’t give two shits about. Serving cake when the party is over, giving candy goody bags and handing high-on-sugar kids back to them is hardly the thank you they deserve.

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9. The parent who knowingly sends their sick kid to school. We’ve all been there. Having a sick kid is inconvenient and annoying and a complete pain in the ass, but exposing that sick kid to the rest of the class is committing the worst parenting crime. You just don’t do it.

10. The insane overachievers. Can’t we all just embrace mediocre? It’s so much easier.

Related post: The Six Mothers Every Mother Hates

About the writer

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.

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Cheryl 4 months ago

4 and 10 lol!!!

Nicole 7 months ago

Parenting IS a verb. And there is nothing wrong with achieving, or with showing kids that if you work hard to earn money you can afford to have and do nice things.

Jordan 8 months ago

I only got 25 cents from the toothfairy and im mid 20s. My 8 yr old gets a quarter. No problem with what other parents do as long as their children dont brag. I taught my son that bragging is rude. And it is simply not done.

Tiffany 8 months ago

My hair stylist gave me a tip-spray a chid’s hair with a little hair spray. Lice love clean hair.

Tiffany 8 months ago

I can top your slacker–I do not send my children to school with cupcakes on their birthdays. I buy a tray of pre-made brownies from Sam’s and juice boxes. Why? Cupcakes are awkward to bring. Have to worry about them tipping over and the frosting getting ruined. With these brownies, I cut them, put them in a container, and they are good to go.

I’m not lazy, my children’s birthdays are 1 week (yes, 7 days) apart. I am so sick of cupcakes, birthday cakes, you name it-I am sick of it by the second birthday.

Nicole Bergeron 8 months ago

OMG, #9… Both as a parent and an elementary school teacher, this one drives me crazy! Your sick kid not only gets all the other kids sick, but the staff too! I hate taking sick time as much as the next person, I get it, it’s a hardship. But, if my daughter its sick or even has a bad case of the green boogers, I take the day and keep her home! Ugh!

Patti Griffin Kelso 8 months ago

Wow……a lot of moms took this waaaaaay too personal. Relax folks, it’s just a mom venting. We all need to do that sometimes. Let’s support our fellow mom’s….not criticize her.

Heather D Morse 8 months ago

4 7 really hate u

Dionna Dunaway 8 months ago

Horribly funny

Katie Thomas 8 months ago

#11 All the commenters whining about the post.

Michelle LaFeir DeLong 8 months ago

This was a mom PMs’ing…
I think every mom is on this list somewhere :-/

Kate Beckmann 8 months ago

This was awful. Too much negativity!!!

Bridgett Bassler 8 months ago

#11 – the Over-Giving Santa’s
What a heartache it is to have your child return home from school after first day back from Christmas break, and sadly wonders why Santa gave her’ friend everything she asked for’ and my child only got two things from her list (and her’ oldest brother only got one present from his list).

Joyce Ribadeneyra Taite 8 months ago

Ding ding ding we have a winner! Lol

Amanda Mcginnis 8 months ago

Also they non parent advice givers. Absolutely love all the knowledge they have to dish out.

Sharon Sunamoto 8 months ago

You should not be referring to children or grown women for that matter as sluts and whores, not to mention the use of “mini-hookers”… We should be fighting the idea that dressing IN ANY WAY means that the other person is having a lot of sex and even if they are (other than minors) who cares? To each their own!
Let us be free of those patriarchal and societal bullshit “values”.

Lauri Mack Burnett 8 months ago

Oops I have my son $10.00 for a tooth..BUT I basically forgot about it under his pillow and last minute didn’t have any ones or change…my bad

Shannon Broyles 8 months ago

Hilarious.

Torie 8 months ago

Yes. I like all the alternatives to cash that I’ve heard about. We used one idea for our daughter (foreign coins) and one for our son (polished stones). Take the dollar amount out of the tooth fairy picture and it becomes more sane. My options did require advance planning though! I wish I’d found out the total number of teeth and made sure I had them all lined up. Other options might be simpler – baseball cards sound great for those who like them.

Torie 8 months ago

She was kidding.

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

I’m not sure there even is such a thing as “over” achieving. How does one do more than they are able to do? That makes no sense. You either do your best or you don’t and are mediocre as a result.

Molly Winchester 8 months ago

Another person’s lifestyle is not a commentary on yours.

Dina Carpenter 8 months ago

Let’s post yet another article that serves no clear purpose other than to pit mamas against one another. This trend needs to end, now.

Valerie M Cody 8 months ago

Ok. This is SCARY MOMMY. If you over achieving moms have a problem then go to a different site. This blog was not made for you. :)

Bridget 8 months ago

I dislike when sick children are sent to school as well but let’s please remember that not every parent has a job that affords them the luxury of vacation/sick days.

Jenn Heley 8 months ago

7 & 9. Ugh. Especially 7.

Harriet Keyes 8 months ago

Too funny! I bet you could write a book!

Maria Fahlsing 8 months ago

#4 is a problem, true, but I disapprove of the use of the word slut. It is a word coined by men to control and shame women. So, let’s not use that ugly word against fellow women, shall we?

Maria 8 months ago

I liked what I was reading until the slutshaming part. The word slut literally means that the person saying it doesn’t approve of the way someone else has sex. Also, let’s be supportive of women and not use such a degrading term that was coined by men to control women. Okay?

Noël Pilon 8 months ago

I don’t agree with 5,6 and 8. And 4 could have been worded less crude.

Cassie Puckridge 8 months ago

yes, a cough is one thing but when its boogers flying everywhere, to a child with a weaker immune system, it could kill them

Val Dee 8 months ago

#1 still taking care of that gold fish 3 years later

Cassie Puckridge 8 months ago

Yes! Thankyou. My daughter catches everything that goes around. She has a week off school for being sick, I send her back to school to see half the class sneezing, coughing even a kid throwing up in the bin and a couple of days later, mine is sick again. Are you kidding me? More time off school and I get into trouble for it

Jessica Dayle 8 months ago

Cringe worthy comments for sure…. It makes my head hurt!!!

Jessica Dayle 8 months ago

Using the words slut, whore and prostitute when referring to CHILDREN is abhorrent. I cringed. I get this is trying to be funny but in order to actually be funny it has to be smart as well. This just came off as mean.

Karrie Kinsman Brown 8 months ago

Sarah, that stick must hurt.

Teresa Martin 8 months ago

About #9 … Where my kid(s) goes to school, they want a doctors note for being sick … Mean wile I keep kid(s) home if Anyone is “Ralph Loren” for 24 hrs until after its passed and I then I send them to school Without a doc. Slip because that would be just as dumb to take them to the doc.s as if I let them go to school sick.

Morgan Andrada 8 months ago

Says the person that talked about getting a pony for your daughter’s birthday party lol. And besides, we told Tatiyana that the tooth fairy only pays the big bucks for the important teeth, the first 4 😉 I have the biggest issue with the parent that sends their kid to school knowing they’re sick = for shhhhhhhhhame!

Arianna 8 months ago

Oh wait! no, I’m not.. I give shits about the party, I just like to get kid hopped up on sugar and let them run around all crazy.

Arianna 8 months ago

I am a number 8! Muhahahahahahaha Deal with it!

Vallissia Bickle 8 months ago

Stamps are gone in my house I got sick of scrubbing “top secret” off my walls

Meghan 8 months ago

That is an unrealistic request and if your child becomes that sick then maybe homeschooling is a better option. Kids are sick all the time. It’s reality. Asking someone to keep their kids home at the first sign of a cough is putting your child’s health issues on that parents shoulders. It’s unfortunate that your child gets so sick so easily, but you cannot expect the rest of the world to live in a plastic bubble soaked in bleach so your child won’t get sick. Your child can wear a special air filter mask at school if necessary. I’ve seen it done before!

Susan Elise Walker 8 months ago

Alise–my husband, daughter and I all ended up with Whooping Cough (and exhausted our sick leave) a few months ago! These people who run around SICK drive me insane.

Meghan 8 months ago

And they will dismiss your case because unless your child was admitted to the hospital you don’t have an argument.

Susan Elise Walker 8 months ago

YES!!!!! I have taken leave without pay–and gotten behind on bills–to stay home with sick kids or when I’ve been sick myself. Now, I know there are people who’d lose their job over that, but not the 3,000 fellow workers that had their sick kids in daycare with mine! NO ONE would’ve been risking a job! I overheard moms say things like, “My child threw up and had a fever early this morning, but I gave him Tylenol and I don’t want to deal with his crankiness.” THEN DONT HAVE CHILDREN.

Meghan 8 months ago

I’m sorry for your frustration, but the world does not work that way. Not everyone who is sick knows they are sick until they are showing symptoms and have already infected numerous people. And I’m being dead serious when I say this. If you’re child becomes so ill from the common cold virus than maybe homeschooling is a better option because viruses will never go away and children will always get sick at some point.

Meghan 8 months ago

Hahaha agreed

Meghan 8 months ago

Nope not true. They can get it anywhere, not just school. So think of it this way. If your kids are carrying around a virus but not showing any symptoms, they are spreading it too! Just because your kids are sick doesn’t mean they are getting it from school or they aren’t the ones spreading it. Hand washing hand washing hand washing, disinfecting surfaces and minimizing time outside of the house with little human contact is your best defense to protecting your kids from getting sick. I’m assuming that because you have multiple children they are all sharing their “bugs”. Plus you’re a carrier too! Dust particles also carry viruses so your house is a bug infested illness factory, no matter how well you clean. Sick kids are an inconvenience, but they are building their immune systems. Babies are especially susceptible to getting sick because they are being exposed to viruses and bacteria their bodies haven’t built antibodies for yet. If it really “bugs” you, before your kid or kids come into the house from school have them take off their shoes and outerwear, change clothes and wash hands with soap and water. That’s the best you can do. Getting sick is normal and no ones fault except the damn viruses!!

Meghan 8 months ago

Clearly you’re exaggerating because coughing for 3 weeks and a 104.5 temp is an ER visit. Doctors cannot do anything for colds except tell you to control the symptoms. Coughing, sneezing, sniffling, fever. Unless your child hasn’t drank anything for days, is not urinating or producing tears when they cry, or has a fever over 101 that could mean an infection or inflammation, you just have to suck it up, buy some Tylenol, cough syrup, and a box of tissues.

Serena Maine 8 months ago

I must defend with all my might, the amazing Tooth Fairy. She’s smart, sassy and tech-savvy. She comes around for such a short time in their life and is all about hygiene & health care. She generally leaves a kickass toothbrush, toothpaste, maybe a book, drops some usually hard-earned cash (but she’s not about entitlement so the enameled offering better be pretty decent or she will leave a citation and expect better results next time; IF there even is a next time). She is in and out in a flash; no time for games in her line of work. She works 24/7, 365 days of the year (night shift) and gets very little recognition. (Kudos to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson though. Come to think of it, I should probably watch that movie again.) TF is a hard working successful “no bullshit” business woman. Unlike that judgmental, embarrassingly commercialized, child-labouring, works one-day-a-year-gets-all-the-glory, fat bastard capitalist named Santa Claus. (Nice company wheels btw). So yeah, ROCK that Tooth Fairy. Fairy dust and all.

Meghan 8 months ago

Child abuse??? Kids get sick, they are building their immune systems. It’s normal. Most kids go to school catch a virus that’s going around, show no signs of illness until it’s too late, and we’re contagious before the symptoms started so they spread it unknowingly. It’s one thing if your child has a fever over 101, is throwing up and having projectile diarrhea at the same time. That can become a medical emergency, but a cough, sniffles, sneezing, low grade fever are symptoms of colds and allergies all of which a doctor can’t give antibiotics for because it’s a virus or seasonal allergies. So a doctors visit is a waste of time and money because all you can do is treat the symptoms. Child abuse is an exaggeration on your part.

Bunny Cocar 8 months ago

Wow. Slut shaming. Awesome.

Deidre Johnson 8 months ago

Angie Malone Ancell: #7
By the way, both of my girls sported buns for school today. And I keep thinking about that Robi comb. I need one.

Christina McDowell Parks 8 months ago

Just tonight I was quizzing up my 8 year old, “Where did you get lice 2 years ago??” Ugh, I’m still paranoid.

Meghan 8 months ago

I have to say #9 really annoys me. I’m guilty of sending my kid to school sick BECAUSE I didn’t have a choice. I’m a single mom who works full time and goes to nursing school full time. I don’t make a lot of money like most of the families in my son’s school nor do I have a job where I can call in just because my kid is sick. I’ve already called off because of illness, his and mine, and if I called off again I would have lost my job. He’s not old enough to stay home alone without someone calling CPS on me. Anyone I know that doesn’t work either just had a baby or is a fall away from being placed in a nursing home. I don’t have neighbors because I live in an apartment building with single people who work and constantly travel. To really top it off, I had a final exam on the day I sent my son to school sick, and the last time I brought him to school with me because I didn’t have anyone to watch him, the college administrator sent out a school wide email forbidding any children on campus and if someone was caught bringing their child to school the parent(student) would be asked to leave and have to accept the consequences of missed exams or lectures. Lastly, if a parent was desperate enough to send their child to school sick maybe think they really didn’t have an option. Not everyone has the option to stay home with the child, or the family or funds for a caregiver. If it’s a medical emergency that trumps everything, but a low grade fever with sniffles will not make my company or nursing program bend over backwards for me.

James Gabriela Griggs 8 months ago

#9!!! Keep your sick kids home. Your kid coughs and sneezes on mine and it’s NOT fair.

Elynne Boudreau Ey 8 months ago

#4 makes me ill

Jessica Peltier 8 months ago

I don’t understand why anyone would want to teach their kids that mediocrity is all right. Mediocrity teaches not to put forth any effort for a damn thing. This is why we have so many entitled idiots in our society.

Louise 8 months ago

If it was a little boy half naked would we call him a slut too?

Louise 8 months ago

Slut-shaming toddlers and their parents. Awesome…

Tony Hess 8 months ago

There’s a going rate for teeth?

Melanie QwnMel Larocque 8 months ago

Birthday parties I get too. It’s sad for my daughter who is highly allergic to food colouring and preservatives but I bring her own treats so she doesn’t feel left out. She still feels like she isn’t completely a part of the group though so I tend to only take her to parties where I know the parents well and they will work with me. Sometimes I even buy the cake or cupcakes. Comprise helps.

Camille Young Ehlert 8 months ago

Ugh. 7 & 9 for sure. The worst.

Melanie QwnMel Larocque 8 months ago

Number 9!!!! Is the biggest for me. Do you have any idea what it’s like for an immune compromised child to miss a whole month of school because your kid was sick for a couple days? Sorry sweetheart I know you miss your friend but you just aren’t well enough yet and if you catch anything else you’ll be back in the hospital. Those words bring tears to my eyes every time I have to say them. Please keep your sick kids home. Even if it’s just the start if a cough.

Tony Hess 8 months ago

Whoever said number ten is a bad thing is a lazy moron! I don’t think raising your kids to be mediocre is a good tactic at all! Your work is likely mediocre and the rest of the people have to make up for it! Such a shame.

Melissa Sullivan 8 months ago

This was obviously written by the mythical “perfect stay-at-home mommy”. Ever try getting off your high horse? No one is perfect. Geez.

Sonja Burrus Love 8 months ago

Yup. 7 & 9 are the worst!!!!

Kristina Crowder 8 months ago

The going rate for teeth is a dollar?

Erica Rizkovsky 8 months ago

I agree with all of them

Madison Mello 8 months ago

Can we add the person with no kids who insists on giving parenting advice when you mention to another person (with kids) a problem you’ve been having..? Not only butting into your conversation, but giving completely naive advice that if they had kids they would know doesnt work.

Trudy O’Neill 8 months ago

Don’t knowingly send a SICK child out in PUBLIC!

When you do you knowingly condemn others to the same sickness!

Joanna Nunes Bennett 8 months ago

I do # 8! It’s a party there’s treats involved.

Christina Calabrese Cowell 8 months ago

Damn right x3!!!! Damn you beer pong skills! Lol

Megan Maria Guadalupe Castillo 8 months ago

Wow. Nice slut shaming with number 4. Let’s make sure we start drilling that shit into their heads as early as possible. =(

Amanda Cunefare 8 months ago

number 3…my ex’s fault. also paid his 10 year old 20-30.00 for chores. smh

La Neia Lake 8 months ago

#9 is the absolute worse do not send kids sick to school I will stand before a truancy court and tell the judge my son was sick so I didn’t send him to school so other kids didn’t get sick

Christina Lizarraga 8 months ago

I run a home daycare and had a child show up with nits today (it was her 1st day). Then the mom tells me my older one keeps getting it. Hummmm did u ever think about checking the rest of your kids before sending her to do.

Beth Rose 8 months ago

Of course is judgemental and slightly offensive, but I think she is trying to be brutally honest with a little bit of humor. Sometimes it is nice to see things that are not all sunshine and rainbows and you are all perfect no matter what type articles.

Amanda McManes-Watson 8 months ago

lol Your kid(s) get them once and it makes you paranoid. Have two girls as well, and they had really long hair…it was hell. Still scratching my head. 😛

Casey J Ellington 8 months ago

The judgey perfect parent too.

Trenity Mendoza 8 months ago

I am sooooo #8 bwahahaaaa

Lynn Mc Laughlin-Janicki 8 months ago

Number 9-I take my daughter to a mommy and me at 2.5 years of age and the kids are coughing and have runny noses-really?! It’s not school-keep them home!

Nancy Atkinson Nordling 8 months ago

You need to spread some of your common sense around! 😉

Nancy Atkinson Nordling 8 months ago

After having #9s subject my kids to their kids’ illnesses over and over again, I am thinking of joining them.

Susan Pittman 8 months ago

Marissa I know. A very little child can’t help but feel jealousy over some things. I guess my remark was more geared toward an older kid (say, 5 and up) acting pissy. No matter the kid’s age though a parent shouldn’t feel compelled to outdo someone else’s party, whether or not their child felt jealous.

Scott Joseph 8 months ago

I agree but if all the moms want to dress like sluts I will not protest. Signed, concerned Dad

Meghan Stefanik 8 months ago

I agree. If the only thing that offends you is the 10 commandments, for example, then you really need to reevaluate your priorities.

Timothy Patton 8 months ago

the kids are happy, that’s what counts

Sallie N Jason Mishler 8 months ago

They need to add the bus to this list…it’s the devil, like viki valencourt….kids learn way too much way to early.

Jennie Jaehnig 8 months ago

How about the “one uppers”? You know, the “oh, your kindergartner can read now? Well, mine has been reading chapter books since birth” parents.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Ok, I do medium sized parties, so I don’t care about that…but a 3 or 4 year old will get sad if you didn’t have Elsa at your party and someone else did, they will be upset. Saying someone hasn’t done their job if their kid does that is just not right. That’s when you use it as a teaching moment. That being said…I’m the one who had Elsa at her daughter’s party. But my son is pissed cause Santa didn’t come to his

Penny Dotson McAvoy 8 months ago

Liz McAllister I think I would have to disregard the truly ignorant first of all (much like I’m doing now). Surely you can understand that the writer wasn’t referring to ballet costumes. If a child is sent out into the world half naked people will judge them for that. It doesn’t matter if you think people should or shouldn’t form opinions about a child because of their clothing. What matters is that people DO judge you and your child by your appearance.

Katie Colombani Cruz 8 months ago

Women should NEVER refer to any other female as a slut. It’s disgusting. If you disagree with the sexualization of women, start with the media and where you spend your $$. Don’t attack other women.

Cristal L Medeiros 8 months ago

I agree. It’s been very negative lately.

Katie Colombani Cruz 8 months ago

Well said! Use soap and water and have some empathy.

Marne Richmeier 8 months ago

For real!

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

I love when you tell your kid no and other kids say you are always so mean. Gee, where did they get that idea?

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

There are a hundred other types not listed in the article. This one is high on the list.

Katie Colombani Cruz 8 months ago

What’s up with the influx of negative blog posts lately? We are supposed to support each other, not judge. Geeze.

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

12. The mom who lets her kid show your kid a toy that is impossible to get and won’t share.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Lorie, of course they do. I’m really not one who gets too bent out of joint. But your kid was sent home with a fever & hand foot & mouth at 2 pm, and you drop him off at daycare at 7am the next day in a room of kids under 1 and you think that’s ok? No. The teacher that was there didn’t know he had a fever the day before because she was gone, but she freaked out about the sores because he didn’t have them when she was with him the day before.

My boss is very understanding, but many aren’t. That needs to change!

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

Aren’t we supposed to be on each other’s side here? If we don’t support each other (and I think that is the point of the site) no one will. It’s like potluck- there’s something for everyone, but we don’t like it all.

Danielle Rogers 8 months ago

There is nothing wrong with pushing your kid and maxing out their potential. I totally agree. As for the over the top parties, everyone there gets to enjoy it. As long as that mom invites all the kids and doesn’t exclude one or two, it’s fine.

Susan Pittman 8 months ago

Agree. This writer has her knickers in a knot about way too much. I kinda feel sorry for her kids. Is she happy about ANYTHING? If your kids eat a balanced diet most of the time, who gives a crap if they have cake at an occasional party?

Alise Dozier 8 months ago

Amen to that!!! Paid sick days for parents or a sick kid daycare in bosses office!! I don’t care if you are out of days, if your kid is sick enough to pass it to someone else, stay at home. No sick kids at school!! A slight runny nose, fine. Other that that, no!! My child’s school had a whooping cough issue! Are you kidding me people?! Vaccinate your children!!!

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

So if someone thought the little girl in your profile picture was dressed like a whore, and stated so,…..what then?

Susan Pittman 8 months ago

AGREE. FFS, they are kids. If you’ve done your job right as a parent, they’re not going to complain that their party wasn’t as spectacular as little So-and-So’s with the Elsa ice volcano that spewed organic blue lemonade. They will appreciate and love whatever you do for them. Resenting other parents for going the extra mile is a YOU problem. Get over yourself.

Erika Reed-Gross 8 months ago

Oh, number 4 for sure!

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago

It’s so hard to deal with people who are offended over everything, it’s like they look for a reason to be ticked off at someone.

Kristena Todd Mitchell 8 months ago

Haha the sugar rush part was the best. Sugar doesn’t make kids hyper. It’s probably all of the fun they are having with their friends that parents find annoying.

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

Could we maybe not use words like whore and slut. It’s discriminatory language and perpetuates the idea that girls should be asexual. I’m not condoning sexualizing young girls in any capacity. We don’t do that to young boys. But saying they look like whores and sluts is just…..no

Sarah Khan Butt 8 months ago

Lol

Jo Zie 8 months ago

Oh there’s so much wrong with this one. I know it’s satire but I like my satire smarter than this! So many people need a basic science class. Sigh.

Olivia Kuhl 8 months ago

#7 lol. I thought I was the only person that felt that way. If you didn’t spend hours upon hours and $100 treating it, you probably didn’t do it right!

Erin VanDivort Ayres 8 months ago

4 and 9!!!!!! Huge pet peeves of mine!

Krystyn Leigh 8 months ago

#9, oh hate, hate, hate. Selfish bastards.
And #2- it just took one jackass military dad screaming “DEFENSE!!!” at a bunch of 6 year old girls for my daughter to dislike sports forever.

Russell Michael Zahralban III 8 months ago

I’m totally going to be 2.)… Sorry, ahead of time everyone.

Christina Michelle Bouie 8 months ago

I actually HATE the parent who dares to hate the teacher that teaches “because” is not an answer. I wish the list also included the aloof, “just roll with it” parent (typically in divorces) that discourage your child from having aspirations!

Xtina Marie 8 months ago

Sorry but 9 is just common courtesy. Leave your sick child at home. That’s it. I don’t want other children getting my child sick so the least I can do is leave my child home when he is sick.

Monique 8 months ago

Tiffany that is hilarious. I have walked into a Justice store approximately 3 times. My daughter was allowed to buy accessories and a couple of tunics that I picked out. She never asks for anything, because she knows my answer. Also, her father has been known to take scissors and cut things up right in front of her. I tell people when buying presents for my daughter to take that into consideration cause even though there are things I might deem appropriate, her father has a different point of view and that would be getting me an expensive set of rags lol

Penny Quick 8 months ago

#7 on a continuing basis.

Shannon Terese 8 months ago

#2 that’s me..

Crystal Witek 8 months ago

It’s rude to complain about over-the-top birthday parties if the parent has actually invested the time, money, & energy into the party. If it’s all about showing off money, then I don’t care for that. But, I personally invest my time to create crafty decorations & homemade games and love to make each party better than the last for my children, and I spend as little money as possible on them. All of these parents complaining about overachieving parents are also the ones that don’t appreciate how hard a room mom works to create class parties or how much of their own money they invest into the parties either. Some (not many) parents come to the class parties & help out, many donate food or supplies to the party, but very few ever say thank you to the person who organized all of it & spent their personal time making a fun day for EVERYONES child in the class, not just their own. I find it very odd that these parents don’t have time to check their email & do something easy like make fruit kabobs, but somehow they always show up to school for drop off & pick up in their “work out” attire, and have perfectly manicured nails. Yet, I dress myself appropriately both before or after a shower (whether I work out or not) and gave up manicures a long time ago, like when I had my first child & realized that being a parent meant my hands would be wet & dirty several times throughout the day & keeping my nails perfect wouldn’t be possible. Some of us just have different priorities. Some prefer to spend their “free time” primping themselves, some of us prefer to spend our free time cutting out 40 different sized circles with a scrapbooking circle maker and attaching it to a string to make a personalized & unique birthday banner or even spend it making 30 goody bags for the class party after midnight when the grinch fruit heads have been finished. Lol. We all lead different lives, don’t judge others unless you want to be judged yourself.

Shaunna Simmans 8 months ago

Sometimes these humouring posts are a little offensive. Don’t dress your daughter like a slut? Excuse me?

Monique 8 months ago

Can’t you send them to your nurse’s office? I feel so sorry for the teachers. I have a “friend” that sends her kid to school even when she’s sick because her kid wants to be on the list in high school that’s never missed a class, of course at the expense of everyone else, That kid is still in 2nd grade so yikes! I’ve also known parents that gave their kids Tylenol RIGHT BEFORE SCHOOL to bring down the fever and send them to school. WTH!!

Stephanie Nall 8 months ago

#9 drives me crazy! !! #10 is so true! !

Penny Clark-Shockey 8 months ago

At times think pee wee foot ball players have multi million dollar contracts on the line.

Monique 8 months ago

OMG love the prostitots hahaha. Definitely going to use that instead of my tramps-in-training lol

I’m so glad to have read this. I agree on so many levels. My daughter spent a whole hour crying the other day for only having received $2 from the tooth fairy because everyone else got more money. So I did the only thing I could do, packed her things in a suitcase and asked her which one of those families would she like to live with because she is ready. That is where the hour long cry came from, yup I’m that type of mom. Once she stopped crying I told her she scarred the tooth fairy away for good and she better be careful because Santa has a whole year to cancel as well. She’s 8, so I know I only have a few years for Santa, but really trying to make this the last 😉

For those that wonder about what to do when you max those days out to get a doctors note. You are lucky if you have more than 3 days btw. I had the talk with the District Attorney’s office, they get involved if you are one of those parents, which I am. They said if I don’t feel it is necessary for a doctor’s visit, then I can simply walk into the nurses office, tell them she’s sick, and let them dismiss her for the day. It’s a pain in the rear but better than having a social worker come to our house. What they need to be doing is checking those parents that never check their kids for lice, sending them to school with fever, etc. Ugh.

This is so my new favorite mommy blog! hahaha. I want to share it so badly but I have those kind of parents I’m complaining about on my pages -__-

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Not one source online said a kid is not contagious after less than 24 hours of the first onset of sores & a fever. Nor did any of the other parents who’s kids ended up getting it due to this idiot. The kid had s fever when they sent him home the day before, which I pointed out was a violation of their rules. $100 she dosed him with Tylenol before she dropped him off. Of course Drs give different advice. But not that different.

Katherine Hunt Arabis 8 months ago

The fish.. happened to us, it didn’t last the weekend, after I’d spent all that money on fish supplies. Sucks.

Crystal White 8 months ago

I AM #6, but #1, #2 and ESPECIALLY #4 make me want to stab those moms in the face.

Jenn Hayes-Liston 8 months ago

I babysat for a woman whose kids got lice. I told her in no uncertain circumstances would I be back unless she took care of the lice. She told me (verbatim) “I used some Panteen to wash their hair, that should be ok.”
Uh, this woman was an adult, and I was a teen, and *I* knew better!! Well, at least the lice were clean and soft. I never came back.

Should-be-working 8 months ago

Amen. As someone who has one child who desperately needs every calorie I can get into her, you bet a pack full-fat-chocolate milk AND a pudding cup in her lunch, along with sandwich and fruit. Because if she is only going to eat 6 bites of everything there, at least those 6 bites will have more calories. And another child who has dietary restrictions that do not allow him to eat fruit or whole grains or so many other “healthy” options. So yes, he gets a sandwich on white bread and “diet juice-like things” (because the only other option is water and he gets sick of it) and chips. And I hate it but it keeps him from throwing up all afternoon (see upthread comments on sick kids…). So the idea of someone else judging me for the poor lunches I send makes me both angry and a little sick to my stomach. You never know WHY the lunch is what it is — maybe there is a good reason for everything there. I’ll grant that I can’t think of one for “fruit snacks” but most people don’t understand my son’s fructose intolerance so I’ll just assume there is something I don’t know about driving it.

Sonja Williams Mallery 8 months ago

I’m guilty of #6 – we go all out for parties! We want to create beautiful and fun childhood memories! Bring on the clowns, the bounce house, arts and crafts, and great goody bags! Fun times at our house!

Lynnal N Melendez 8 months ago

7 and 9 are HUGE! Cannot stand inconsiderate people!

Jen Aldrovandi 8 months ago

If I never sent my kid to school when she had a cough then she would never be at school. Kids get sick, that’s how they strengthen their immune systems, quit being a whine bag about it! If you as an adult don’t want to get sick wash your hands. teach your children to wash their hands. teach your children to not pick their noses etc. you can’t control what other people do.

Shala M Dawson 8 months ago

Number 9, sending your child to school and/or daycare sick. I’ve seen this so so so many times. I can’t stand when parents do that. Like anyone else wants to catch it.

Ann 8 months ago

Ummm, except that doctor is utilizing one of the greatest tools in public health to try to spare your child from deadly diseases, not doing it to be a douche. Also, I drive a 2006 Saturn…… not a BMW

Should-be-working 8 months ago

OK, but there are 6th graders who DO need a cell phone, or at least it makes both of our lives much easier. So, maybe need is too strong, but you get the idea. My daughter rides her bike to/from school and I want her to be able to call if something happens. On other days she is picked up by a car service to get to gymnastics and they need to be able to reach her if they are running late. And if the world goes smash, I do not want to be the 200th parent contacted by the school secretary — I want my child to be able to call me immediately and quickly. And if things go really, really badly and someone snatches her, I want to be able to track her through her cell phone. Not that I actually think this would happen, but it makes me feel better to know that I could do it if the need ever arose. And yes, she has a smart phone because that was what the cell phone plan was offering for “free”.

I always liked the “each family is different” response to all of the “but so and so does such and such” — it applies to phones, limits and expectations alike.

Julia Klis 8 months ago

So true!!!!!

Julie Kabilian 8 months ago

Hilarious!!!

Rachel Gregory 8 months ago

How about we stop shaming parents for taking care of their children the way they see fit…. Just because you don’t do it, doesn’t mean I can’t/shouldn’t…. Why can’t we support each other

Katie Smith 8 months ago

As a teacher, we also hate numbers 7 & 9.

Carolyn Crawford 8 months ago

#9….grrr!!

Keri Shomler Rowden 8 months ago

#9!!! Keep your runny nosed, sneezing, coughing, germ-infested little booger-mongers at home when they’re sick!!!

Shannon LaMonds Michele 8 months ago

#7 dear god, #7!

Jamie James 8 months ago

Oh! This is Soo true!!
3,4 & 9 especially!!!

Tammi Biles 8 months ago

I agree with all except #10. I WANT my kids to strive! I WANT my kids to be over achievers! I WANT my kids to be everything that they can possibly be, and more. To ell our children that mediocracy is not only acceptable, but desired is stupid. That is why over 1/2 of our country’s youth and young adults are idiotic.

Nancy Stefanovic 8 months ago

What’s wrong with #8?

Mary Schneider 8 months ago

Good grief grow a sense of humor will ya? If you don’t get the funny, this probably isn’t the site for you.

Heather Carr 8 months ago

That and when you make your child apologize and they say “its ok, no big deal” Um yeah it is. MY kids will have manners and what ever offence they had to apologize for is NOT ok. Just say “thank you”

P.Bubblegum 8 months ago

I don’t see “Grandparents” on here.

Erika Heeren 8 months ago

“Too much achieving”? Is that really something we want to consider a thing?

Kayla Muncie Luckie 8 months ago

Uh no but they are a pain and if your an idiot and can’t get rid of them keep your child at your home. That attitude adds to the spread of them

Heather Carr 8 months ago

She forgot the Grandparents who constantly over step their boundries. My 11 y old dd brought her report card home and she had dropped two…TWO letter grades in EVERY COURSE. No no no. She was grounded for the remainder of the year, which was about a month or so. Her grandparents REALLY said “shes going to run away and kill her self now because of you”. ….Really? one, I didnt raise a twit, and two in MY house if you do the crime you do the time. She fell out of MY vagina, so *I* get to make the rules.

Kasie Wikoff 8 months ago

OMG YES!!!

Alanna Whoric-Murdoch 8 months ago

How about instead of encouraging rape culture by saying that these young girls are being dressed as “sluts” and “whores”, you could say “dress inappropriately for their age”.

Candi Foster Tompkins 8 months ago

I’m a big birthday party mom… I hope if anyone doesn’t like it they just stop coming! Ugh… I have caught grief for it but they are only little once and it truly is their day!!!

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

I hear ya Carisa Rowe …feminist mamas come under fire far too often, boggles my mind!

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

once again, i’m seeing a lot of comments from people who don’t seem to understand the point of scary mommy.

Sarah Ann Tarman 8 months ago

To quote the article “Can’t we all just embrace mediocre? It’s so much easier.” I agree whole heartedly we are all out here trying to do our best. Im not a freak over achiever taking my childs childhood away. I am trying to provide him the ultimate childhood. However, I will never lower my standards to make another mothers life easier. If that is her mindset I suggest she higher her standards and meet me up here!

Danielle Martinez Sempek 8 months ago

Cheers to number 4!

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

Modesty is highly subjective. In some cultures showing hair or your face is immodest. Other cultures swim topless. It’s not right to impose your version of modesty onto others.

Tina Petri Wenzel 8 months ago

Aviva, that’s what happened with me. My mom kept me home every time I was sick, so when I was in high school I took advantage of it. If my kids don’t have a fever/vomiting and it’s just a typical cold, they’re in school.

Michele Martinez 8 months ago

They’re a danger to my mental health

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

Penny, some people may view your profile pic as that level of inappropriate. (Sweetheart neckline and no sleeves)

Ashlee Baird 8 months ago

Not my favorite post. So many things wrong with this. I know its satire and full of sarcasm, but the name calling of little girls is gross. Couldn’t she have just said “age appropriate clothing?” Also, I’m a big fan of fun, well executed parties. I throw them. I love going to them. Go big or go home has always been my motto. Don’t like it? Not my problem.

Susan K. Sterikoff 8 months ago

Can we add the person who, when you are dealing with your child, comes up and yells at you to deal with your child?

April McDowell 8 months ago

totally guilty of number 6 and 8… don’t like it – don’t come to the party

Amanda 8 months ago

My sons school tried to have me meet with the principal and district members about my sons attendance. When he gets hot, he vomits, when he gets phlegmy, he vomits, when he gets the flu, he vomits. All of which he gets sent home for and banned for 24 hours. Which equals 2 school days. But heaven forbid I try and keep him home for one to avoid 2.. They finally dropped the issue.

Penny Dotson McAvoy 8 months ago

What bothers me about this article is that people seem to be more offended that the writer used the word slut than the fact that there are parents out there that are dressing their children so inappropriately and don’t think there is anything wrong with it.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

And you seem to have missed the part where I emphasized teaching my boys that they are responsible for their actions, people are not defined by the clothes they wear, no is a complete sentence etc.

Lara Beeman 8 months ago

Dear every number 9 out there, I hate you! My kids are constantly sick bc of other kids bc their parents don’t keep them home my baby has been to the Dr 6 times in 6 weeks bc of those asshole parents! I have to work too ya know!

Aviva Comet Hoback 8 months ago

I take exception to #9!!!! Vomit spewing kids should stay in their beds, sure. But hacking snot blowers MUST learn how to cope at a young age with being uncomfortable. Being sick cannot be an excuse for packing it in and not working. If kids are given the out here, they will take it every time. And not one parent or kid can do that w/o negatively impacting school work, and dare I say a paycheck?

Sherri Rabinovitch-Reinblatt 8 months ago

I don’t think that’s the point. High achieving parents are fine but when it is done to make other parents feel inadequate, that’s a problem. We are trying to do our best.

Jessica Cheek Onstott 8 months ago

Well, there ARE hookers… And they do dress very provocatively. I would not want my daughter to dress as such. Not saying an actual hooker is a bad person, just not how I want my child to present. Personally, I would not have used the language the author did.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

You actually do not know who I am. At all. I hate the word slut, and will never use it in reference to any girl or woman’s behavior. Nor will the behavior you’re referring to ever be considered “poor planning” by me. I’m not as young as you seem to think I am, and I still fully support women like Madonna who were/are pioneers re women’s sexuality. You’re missing the point. It doesn’t matter what a girl or woman wears, it’s NEVER her fault. Ever. Period.

Tina Petri Wenzel 8 months ago

2, 4, & 7 I can’t stand!

Sherri Rabinovitch-Reinblatt 8 months ago

Totally. All of this!

Zoe Hail 8 months ago

Number 9 drives me mad x

Jessica Cheek Onstott 8 months ago

Well, there’s always letting your kid know your word is final.

Sarah Ann Tarman 8 months ago

It’s not just one comment. I read articles from this site all the time pleading for all moms to be mediocre to make it easier on everyone. Its pathetic. Even if it was sarcastic, its offensive and even sad.

Jessica Cheek Onstott 8 months ago

Was the language a little vulgar? Maybe. However, she never called the little girls sluts or whores. Also, grown men and women are sexual beings… Noticing a little girl is attempting to dress like a grown women is not sexualizing them. Its noticing that they are not grown women and should not be promoting themselves as such.

Kelly Joseph 8 months ago

Completely agree. I don’t see why I have to stop doing what I love to do for my child because it makes another parent feel inadequate. What I do for my child is for my child and no one else. And I will not apologize for the fact that you feel bad about it. Be secure in your own abilities otherwise you’re just passing that insecurity onto your kids.

Tabitha Bartz 8 months ago

Exactly!

Rachel Carey 8 months ago

I can see that everyone here who are making snide remarks about where I’ve shopped or what I’ve seen are just really enjoying the high horses you’re sitting on. I just have a different opinion of what is appropriate. Sure. Young girls need to be monitored but its not other “slutty” girls that are inspiring young girls to dress and act that way. Has anyone picked up a seventeen magazine lately? You all are pointing fingers in the wrong direction. The only place “wrong kind of attention” comes from is the giver. You can keep the soap box.

Ashely Jameson-Carel 8 months ago

Yes!!! Drives me bonkers!

Diana Petit 8 months ago

AMEN.

Jennifer Farley 8 months ago

Just in case it isnt something you thought about, woman who dress half naked or fully clothed, get raped regardless and rape IS the mans fault. If rape isnt involved though both could be blamed for how they dress or how they treat a woman. Both are to blame. Not just a woman.

Elizabeth Dale 8 months ago

“Dont blame the boy” is soooo true!! I blame the rotten parent that taught that boy little girls who dress ‘slutty’ is no longer a person and is available to be used however that boy sees fit. Muslim women are raped in full cover. Morman women are raped. Pious Catholics are raped. It is the fault of the person assaulting, harrassing, raping, demeaning or otherwise abusing a seperate human. Not a freaking skirt or movie.

Jessica Cheek Onstott 8 months ago

I hate when people take a self deprecating comment too seriously. Yikes!

Diana Petit 8 months ago

I was gonna say the same thing.

Tabitha Bartz 8 months ago

Who wants to only be a mediocre parent?! No thank you, if mediocre is all your striving for you’ve already failed.

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

Jennifer, I’ve taught at many middle schools; let me assure you that the middle schoolers that dress “slutty” aren’t the only ones behaving promiscuous.

Tiffany Perry 8 months ago

My friends mom was #7 and because of that I’m terrified of lice. Sitting eight hours straight in a hard wooden chair in the kitchen, under a lighted magnifying light while my mom slowly went over every inch of my scalp for every possible crumb that might be lice has shaped that feeling. Every other week that girl was infected and passed on her friends to the rest of us by having sleepovers or makeovers. Eventually we weren’t to play with her anymore unless it was board games on the front porch.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

get a grip.

Pascale DesLauriers 8 months ago

I think some commenters here nees to get a sense of humor…

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

and who is the troll now.. I’m no troll

Ayla Elizabeth Romero 8 months ago

Guilty of number 8! I believe kids should be happy at parties.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

See, I knew that is who you are, but you also know that there are people out there who are not doing that, And you know that slutty behavior is in middle school and not understood for what it is, or what it implies. So, not being slightly modest is just bad planning and in poor taste
Those of us who came of age when Madonna showed up in her underwear see the error of this way. But I’m an old lady now, and while I thought it was cute and cool at the time. I now know better.

Aimee Boxall 8 months ago

I feel like this page is becoming more and more offensive and only encourages further stereotyping, discriminating, bullying, laziness and judging. Just because some parents are putting in their best efforts doesn’t mean they are over-achievers. And even if they were, why would that be a bad thing? Having motivation and dedication is what makes you successful in life. If everyone was a little more of an “over-achiever,” maybe the world would be a better place. If you want to be lazy/mediocre because it’s “easier,” be lazy, but don’t scrutinize those who actually consistently put effort and try to better themselves and their children.

Angie Marie 8 months ago

Agreed. She was horrible. She could have said “revealing” instead.

aj 8 months ago

When my daughter was in 4th, she came home with lice. We spent hours everyday for three weeks combing to make sure we got them all. She was good for about two weeks then came home with it again. This went on for FOUR months. I tried everything ever mentioned thinking I wasn’t doing it right or chemicals weren’t working well enough. She finally told me after all that time she shared a locker with another girl. After numerous letters, phone calls and sick days, I demanded she be moved to a locker all her own and she never got them again.

Jen Ellerbrock Mason 8 months ago

Bahaha…why is it this person always ends up to be the mother in law? Lol.

Angie Marie 8 months ago

She sounds like a bitter, miserable asshole.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

What about mugging victims? Do you keep them from existing by teaching people not to carry a wallet or purse or briefcase or do we blame the person who commits the crime?

Rachel Fairchild 8 months ago

Exactly Candace!

Kristine Cole 8 months ago

#7 & 9 too. You suck.

Allyson Lang 8 months ago

I’m okay with almost all of these parents. The ones I really don’t like and make life harder for EVERYONE are the abusive and neglectful parents….

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

I definitely cringed at the word, no doubt.

Michael Cheri Pitts 8 months ago

It’s all about the money. The schools do not get the money from the state when kids are not there so the schools push it even when it’s unsafe for the kids to be there. I understand they need the money but that’s one of the reasons we have a flu epidemic right now because the schools/work forces really don’t care (the majority that is)

Pascale DesLauriers 8 months ago

I think the word “over” in overachiever says it all: it’s too much “achieving”. Let your kid have a childhood and he’ll be in better mental health later on in life.

Shane Vega 8 months ago

LOL – I am definitely busted on #3, but Maria, love of my life, apple of my eye, I would have to pin you to #6 – it’s getting nuts already!! We are literally talking about ponies at the house this year!! sigh!

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

I definitely cringed reading it, but I get it. I don’t care what my daughter wears when she’s older, but now at 4, having her butt hang out or wearing a string bikini is ridiculous to me.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

I’m not even sure what specific behaviors you’re referring to, but I can tell you my daughter is being raised to be strong, confident and independent. She’ll not be told that her clothing choices define her as a person or that they in any way give others the right to ridicule, comment on or touch her body. She’s being taught that “no” is a complete sentence and doesn’t require rationalization or explanation. She’s being taught to be responsible for her actions and her words. And not to take on the actions of others as though she’s to blame. And I’m teaching my sons EXACTLY the same things.

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

Jennifer Zapf, it’s a good thing you’re not raising a boy, because teaching him that would turn him into a rapist.

Carrie Mullins 8 months ago

You have to be trolling.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

because lice are a nuisance, and only a nuisance – not dangerous

Meghan Getter-Cahill 8 months ago

Hilarious!

Sarah Damerow Stockton 8 months ago

I compromise on sugar… Of course we have cake and ice cream, but I keep the goody bag sugar free. Is that cool?

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

I used all my sick days in my first month of going back to work fulltime in July. I’m a single mom of 3 kids and my ex lives in another state. I was having to do some creative bill paying when I had to take unpaid time off & still pay daycare. I’m pretty calm about illness, but after keeping my daughter out for a week for hand, foot and mouth and I walk into my sons infant room to find that the kid who was sent home for it the day before…was there, I lost my mind. The teachers were upset about it, but the woman said her dr said he wasn’t contagious. I asked if he had more sores on him than when they sent him home. They said yes, and more since he’s been here. I went to the administrator & called my pediatrician & handed the phone to her. “Once they stop getting new sores, give it another 24 hours” Ya, people, that bitch was lying. No dr told her that! I waited until that woman came and got her son to leave mine in there. I swear I almost slapped her. That stuff is so painful & to knowingly infect other kids is awful! And trust me…I get needing to work. More than most, I get it.

Marnie Chan Demeterio 8 months ago

We got street fair fish in June. They outgrew their tank and killed it and we had to get a new one…

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

gross for sure, but not dangerous

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

lice are not dangerous..

Lara Braley Johnson 8 months ago

What’s with number eight? Seriously? Your invited to a party..if buying a present and driving your kids to it is too much for you…decline the invitation! Do they really think they need a reward? Are you kidding? It’s a birthday party…there WILL be cake. There WILL be sugar. Get over it.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

lol, try education to not be … see above

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

still laughing and feeling the same about you… I’m not blaming the victim so much as trying to keep the victim from existing at all.. but clearly you’re not educated enough to see that…

Michele Martinez 8 months ago

Yea until one of the teachers gets lice! Eh I’ve never been stressed and paranoid more than when my daughter caught lice.

Diana Khaldi 8 months ago

#4 and #6 ugh……

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

It amazes me that an educated woman who empathizes with racial struggles and social issues such as poverty actually verbalized victim blaming and can’t see the stupidity in saying that boys aren’t to blame for their behavior etc. Sad.

Marnie Chan Demeterio 8 months ago

I guess you’ve never shopped at Abercrombie or Justice, LOL…

Ashely Jameson-Carel 8 months ago

I don’t think anyone is saying wearing the clothes make you a slut, but it’s def the perception! And first impressions are everything! In a perfect world, the clothes (or lack of clothes) worn would mean nothing, but that isn’t the world we live in and parents need to consider the large amount of pervs out there when they dress their child in an adult manner! Let’s not get bent out of shape over the wording – it’s time to call a spade a spade!

Lisa Darnley 8 months ago

I’m guilty of wiring kids at parties!! CAKE FOR EVERYONE!!

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

not sure why you think it is stupid to teach a girl to behave better and respect herself better so she’s not labeled something she’s not – or perhaps yours is? not sure, I doubt it, but again with blaming men
doesn’t make sense, see the thing is the girls see this behavior in movies and videos and they don’t understand it, so we let them act in a way they don’t understand? what good are you doing the girl by letting her act this way?
don’t you see the error here? do you really want your girl acting this way. NO I know you don’t, so here’s the thing, why do you defend the behavior?

Kristen Newbould 8 months ago

#10 is my favorite!

Helen Jamieson 8 months ago

4, 7 & 9!

Jenifer Phelps 8 months ago

Agreed! The only parts of this article i really agreed with is sending your kids to school sick or with lice.

Beth Diem 8 months ago

I love these , number one makes me laugh , because my daughter who is 5 now , won a carnival fish , 2 years ago , and that fish is still alive , it is huge .

Rachel Fairchild 8 months ago

Show a little compassion for the #9ers maybe? Single parents don’t always have the luxury to keep mildly unwell children at home… for some of us it’s a clear decision between exposing your kid to a cold or not being able to make our rent because we’ve been fired for not showing up to work. Maybe it’s a deeper systemic issue of how this country doesn’t value family in practice and policy the way it proclaims, eh?

Nicki Andersen 8 months ago

Getting looks and getting raped are two different things. If you dress young girls skimpy they are going to attract the wrong kind of attention. Doesn’t make rape excused or place blame on the girl but age appropriate is key.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

Laughing at me doesn’t change your stupidity

Jeanette Cleveland 8 months ago

I so agree with you. I want my children to understand the why of things and not blinding follow authority. Not everyone is trustworthy and that includes adults!

Jenny Bogan Hacker 8 months ago

but yet they all let their kids play, ha!

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

again, laughing at you

Jenny Bogan Hacker 8 months ago

Rilla, Karla and Lisa – this is AWESOME, I stand that Karla is the BEST fish person in the world. Hope all is well.

Elizabeth Dale 8 months ago

Just please with that slut shaming. I will hurt the GROWN ADULT that calls my daughters ‘slut’ Blaming clothing is so irrational it isnt an argument. If you dont like that attire, dont let your kid dress that way. Im not a fan of full covering ‘modest’ attire, but you dont hear me calling your child a prude.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

Raping girls is not smutty girl behavior.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

you make me laugh

Kristeen Bartsch Mulder 8 months ago

I completely agree. Mom of 3 girls. Our school said they don’t really even have to notify parents anymore. Though they still do if multiple cases are reported or a mom pushes it. Ish!!

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

Because men and boys are all animals and we shouldn’t expect them to understand self control or consent. And little girls only purpose is please others with her modesty or attractiveness etc whichever the situation calls for? People who think like you boggle my mind. How will we ever move above rape culture when women like you exist?

Kirsten Gilbert 8 months ago

this is a very judgy article. why are ppl being shamed for trying to excel? not eveyone wants to be mediocre

Chrissy Vasquez 8 months ago

When I was in high school I ended up getting pulled from class after missing 2 1/2 weeks of school because I was as sick as a dog. They pulled me from class and put me in DETENTION for missing school. I was still coughing my lungs out but was no longer contagious. I sat in a lunch room with other kids that were in detention for various reasons. I was forced to write a two page essay of why I missed so much school. (To which I wrote over and over that I was sick for two pages). When we got our break I called my mom and she drove down and picked me up, then called the principal and had a long discussion of how asinine it was to pull me from class. We had doctors notes and I was never one to miss school. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Same in the work force.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

I saw that. I’m in defense mode. Being a feminist mama bear doesn’t just extend to my kids, so I was ready to defend.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like an attack. I was directing my reply to those who would argue against the point and just happened to make the aside that there probably is some gross fucker nearby looking at kids that way.

Mostly, I just needed to get my thoughts out. Catharsis, you know?

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

go ahead and hate on me now.. I can take it.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

I am completely serious. I hate smutty little girl behavior and I’m tired of boys being blamed for smutty girl behavior, I am a girl and I’m raising girls and there will be no Pitch Perfect in our house or any other pg13 movie until we are 13…
I’m tired of parents with little boys being blamed for girls

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

Please tell me you’re kidding? Sarcastic? Anything other than serious. ..

Kaara Moyers 8 months ago

Or anyone else.

Gabi Brice Seals 8 months ago

Once I went to a party and the kids were given as many sodas as they wanted, and unlimited trips to a candy table thing, cake AND ice cream..
It was a bit extreme.. I’m thinking that’s what they meant..

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

Sorry, but I’m not skimping on my kid’s birthday party because other people can’t have big parties. We planned our lives accordingly so we COULD splurge on things like this. If you don’t like it, decline the invite. Because there just might be ponies, a bounce house, or a princess actress at the party.

Elizabeth Dale 8 months ago

Thank you!!!!! Can we take the word slut out of all women’s vocab please? Especially in reference to anyone under 18.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

I wasn’t arguing with you Carisa Rowe, I 100% agree with you

Clasina Jones 8 months ago

Saying certain clothes makes someone a slut is on the same lines as saying someone ‘deserved’ be assaulted because of what they wore. I won’t accept that.

Jonah Lather 8 months ago

Hahaha, I’m a notorious #5 and I’ll stand by it.

Amber-lynn Vigini 8 months ago

Lol I like how people are all like #stopmommywars and then like things like this which just promotes them…make up your mind people!

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

I use this at the beginning of the school year and again in spring..my kids and husband (a sissy boy for sure) complain about hte smell.. but I truly don’t care.

Samantha Canuso 8 months ago

#9 is the worst. Coupled with the standard idiot pediatrician answer of ‘We won’t see them unless they’ve been coughing for three weeks or have a fever of 104.5 or higher’. :(

Jeanette E-va 8 months ago

My son got sick for the first time in the first week of daycare. I kept him home for a week. Next week it happened again, and again. So after first 2 months of staying home with sick child, I gave up. No, I don’t send him to daycare with fever, but anything else goes. He probably picked up that bug from daycare anyway. Building his (and ours) immune system, I guess.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

“What did you expect?” … that sounds an awful lot like “she asked for it”.

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

and don’t blame the little boy…

Golden Child 8 months ago

Also the MIL who constantly tells me my son is going to get sick or brain damage if I do X Y and Z.

Jill Vaughn 8 months ago

Well in our house, a cold DOES turn into an ER visit. I know it is unrealistic for every kid with runny noses to stay home but I wish parents would think of other kids when sending an obviously sick child to school. Can’t win them all.

Meg 8 months ago

My SIL just gave that to our 2 yo for his birthday. It is absolutely ridiculous but I kinda like it. Luckily, we have a long playroom but that is going outside when it warms up.

Amy Null 8 months ago

Dizgusting!!!! Take your damn kids to the dr instead of infecting a all

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

#4 & #6 for me… and while we’re at it #4… the movie was not appropriate.. again.. if they think slutty behavior is cute, the little boy in 7th grade gets it as not cute but sign of what he can expect… so when something deplorable happens to your kid, cuz you didn’t see the sign… well know know what to say…

Sara Petrick 8 months ago

We need to stop worrying how girls dress. A 2 piece bathing suit does not make a child look like a “whore”. It’s beyond wrong to imply the way a girl dresses has anything to do with her sexuality. No one bats an eye if a boy wears no shirt, but girls aren’t allowed to show too much stomach, or arm (some people think sleeveless shirts are inappropriate) without some people freaking out. Why is is better for girls to dress skimpier as a teen? It’s not. You either believe in modesty, or you don’t. It’s not ok at a certain age.

Sorry, but my 3 year old can wear halter tops and jeggings as long as she wants, and is comfortably dressed for the weather. I intend to raise her with the feminist ideology that her body is hers to dress how she wants.

If you can’t tell your kid “no” over something you don’t support, you are the one with the problem.

Amy Webster Zbikowski 8 months ago

Speaking as a teacher, those policies are written for parents who do not bring their kids to school. We have had students who have missed 20+ days of school– not for illnesses. Our students (MN) usually get 5 excused sick days before a doctor’s note is expected. Then, they have a few unexcused absences before the school social worker gets involved.

As a teacher/parent, THANK YOU for keeping your kid home. THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING POLICY. I hope all the best for you!

Lisa Kendzulak Romano 8 months ago

And I would say to Scary Mommy, get off your butt and volunteer for a school carnival

Chrissy Vasquez 8 months ago

Thank you, that is so damn annoying. It’s not ok, go parent your own kid and leave me to parent mine how I see fit.

Lisa Kendzulak Romano 8 months ago

Yikes. We are bad :-)

Stephanie Ward 8 months ago

#9, I’ve sent my kids to school when they’ve said they don’t feel good, 90%of the time they are faking sick. And then there’s that one time you send them and they really are sick. If they are sick, puking, fever, etc of course I keep them home.

Kayla Danreuther-Boyles 8 months ago

Yes! 7,9 are the worst!!!!

Corie Folkerts 8 months ago

I am NOT number 9 but I must say there is so much pressure from the schools to send your kids no matter what!!! My kids were each out for 3 days due to the flu. I got a horrible threatening letter home as well as a voicemail warning about truancy!!

Laurie Braslins 8 months ago

I wish cake was served at the beginning of the party. then the kids would jump in the bouncy house for 2 hours like maniacs and go home dead tired.

Brandi Grandaw 8 months ago

Glitter is the herpes of the craft world. Just never goes away. Lol

Tammy Goswick 8 months ago

Yes yes and YES!!!

Stephie Lynn Ponci 8 months ago

What’s wrong with fun parties and sugared up kids? Both are what PARTIES are. Stupid.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

It’s the exact same thing. Without a shadow of a doubt. We can’t call little girls slutty for their clothes and then become outraged when that very descriptor is used to alleviate a rapist of the crime.

Katy 8 months ago

Can I just saw that I love this site.

Heather Leiva 8 months ago

Thank you!!

Erin TattooBear Traquair 8 months ago

Number 9 is debatable. I send my kid to school with a cold. But not if he is really sick. Depends on how much of a hypochondriac you are x

Katie Armstead 8 months ago

4 and 9 seriously! Major pet peeve!

Kim Reneau 8 months ago

#10, the mom who does her kids homework, science project, etc for her child. I hate you!

Heather Leiva 8 months ago

Aren’t we the ones sexualizing them by how we perceive the outfit? I see babies in skin tight onesies all the time but no one calls them a whore.

Heather Kiser 8 months ago

To not decorate for your kids party or do fun party games because it’s “over the top” and makes others feel bad? No, thank you. I’m by no means rich, but I budget x amount of money for the party and try to do as much as I can with that. So what if it looks like a Disney princess vomited in my house? We spend most days living frugally, but that day belongs to my child. It sucks that someone might feel bad about how I choose to host the party but a) its not my job to police what I do to cater to your fragile emotions, and b) no one said you have to do what the other parents do or go raise yourself to this imaginary “bar” this parent has set. The whole “keeping up with the Johnses” attitude is something that’s all in your head, and you need to work on that, not me. Please don’t put down other parents because of what they’re willing to do for their child.

SRephrase 8 months ago

I must say, I’ve sent my kids to school sick before, no fever or throwing up, but most times they are faking it.

Musings, Rants & Scribbles 8 months ago

Oh yes, I’ve met them all. The Overachievers bug me the most. I know mothers who make their middle-schoolers take the SAT practice test every year so they’ll nail it when they get to their senior year of high school. They’ll rant if their kid brings home a B. I feel sorry for these kids who are taught perfection is the ultimate goal in life.

Jeanine Ancelet Fouquet 8 months ago

Why is everyone so easily affected by what others do these days? Are any of these “offenses” really that bad to warrant a list like this? Seems like a bunch of first world problems to me. The only way these people making parenting harder is by you getting so worked up about it.

Dea Stevens 8 months ago

yeah….whatever, it’s wrong.

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

oh trust me, working in an office, plenty of people come in to the office sick. i have been known the wipe the printer down after someone just stood there and sneezed all over it. and we are given plenty of sick days to use each year, no note required, so there is no reason not to stay home.

Amanda Irons Hoy 8 months ago

#9 might be the worst one. please don’t do it. i have to take sick days (or alternate with my husband) if my daughter is sick. you should know better than sending in your kid with a fever. even worse is when they HIDE it from the daycare teachers!

Candace DeeAnn Cobble 8 months ago

Some employers have such a strict attendance policy that parents are afraid they’ll lose their jobs. I had one of those and God knows NOBODY will babysit your sick kid while you work. I guarantee you this is why it happens .

MelissaBrownbeauty Baca 8 months ago

Dea that upset me the most too. Saying calling or insinuating “slut” is so wrong. Especially to young girls.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Let’s stop allowing little girls to be sexualized. I definitely have a problem with what little girls wear today.

I think equating this with the rape culture of blaming victims is reaching. “She shouldn’t have been drinking, went to his room, etc.” anything will be used to blame the victim. Anything

Stefanie 8 months ago

My parents are still taking care of goldfish I got in the 4th grade! I’m 26. Please, please dear son don’t bring home any goldfish or I too will be cleaning tanks for the rest of eternity! Karma is sure to pay me back for that one.

Candace DeeAnn Cobble 8 months ago

I do agree that sending them home with candy bags from a birthday party is a bit over the top. I slice small pieces of cake to kids because I KNOW how it feels on the other side of it.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

Amen, Tanya. Rape has zero to do with attraction or appearance. It is strictly a sick exertion of power. And, when you break it down, so is the concept of ridiculing someone for their choices.

Kristel 8 months ago

I cant deal with the prostitots. My sons are growing up in a world where women dont value themselves. Luckily for them they have positive role models to guide them (DH and I) to the right type of people and hope they can stay away from people whos parents gave them no self worth!

Yvonne Cook Scholz 8 months ago

UUUUGH!!!! #4

Michele Martinez 8 months ago

Ditto!

MelissaBrownbeauty Baca 8 months ago

What bothers me is a woman referring to a child as a “slut”. I agree some parents allow their girls to dress provacitive but to call them a slut. Come the fuck on you judgmental bitch!! This mommy. As women we should try to build each other up. Like that happens. With young girls no adult woman should ever call a child slut. Especially not for laughs in your blog.

Should-be-working 8 months ago

On the other hand, my son learned how to make himself vomit at will in order to get out of school when he didn’t want to be there. Couldn’t fake the fever but knew the school had an absolute policy on vomiting = sent home. Had to go all the way to the district to get a waiver on that rule because teachers, health tech and I all knew it was not really sickness. Of course we also worked on the reasons he didn’t want to be at school, but that was a whole ‘nother story.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

Well, Tanya, there’s bound to be some creepy fucker who does actually think children are sexy. The real point though is that we are not supposed to tear people down. It builds a community of blame shifting onto victims (i.e. “she was asking for it with that outfit” and “well, her mother should have never let her out of the house in that”).

Women should be able to wear what they want, safely without judgment OR danger to their bodies and minds.

Our business, like you said, is to teach our children integrity and respect. Those two things have no link to appearance and wardrobe, which was my original point.

It’s a person of low character to attack another based on appearance, even more so when the person is a child. And it’s grotesque when women do this to each other. How can we ever expect a level playing field if we rip one another to shreds?

Shawnna 8 months ago

@Christie. Regarding the fever rule, our schools have a rule that if the child has a fever, he/she cannot return to school until they are fever free without Tylenol for 24 hours. Good rule.

Michele Martinez 8 months ago

#7!!!! I like how my daughter catches those little shits from school and I’m the only one to notify the teacher! With 2 daughters and myself in the house that is an effing nightmare! I may just walk in there one day with a lice killing lady and have her check all their heads!

Samantha 8 months ago

Some of the things my girlfriends buy for my 10 month old daughter make me want to puke. And who even make these things for kids that young?! I’ve had the appropriate clothing talk with several off my girlfriends sad as that sounds…

Candace DeeAnn Cobble 8 months ago

Apparently you all haven’t visited your local skating rink after 10pm. Girls wear skimpy little tops that show the mid riff & way too much make up at 10, 11, & 12 years old??? I agree with her statement. It’s happening all over America and then the parent gets mad because someone looks at their sweet little girl (who is dressed and made up like a prostitute) in a sexual way. .. well damn! What did u expect?? Dress her like a mini adult going on a date… she will get looked at like one. Short of living under a rock… I don’t see how you all have missed it! I had to be HARD on my girls growing up because other Moms let their girls wear more revealing clothes to school , movies, skating. I actually got asked by one of them why boys acted a certain way toward her & I reached in my closet & gave her a regular t shirt to wear. For the rest of the day she didn’t get those looks she usually gets from wearing a clingy skimpy top. Later in life she thanked me for that lesson. A girl doesn’t have to try to get that attention. If she thinks that’s the right kind of attention… she is very wrong. And I will add one last thing… that kind of attention (from skimpy outfits… too much make up) is a big responsibility & girls 10-12 aren’t really mature enough to handle it.

Erin Griffin 8 months ago

Jenn Mann #7!

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Would trashy adult clothes be a better word? I see little girls in shorts that show their buttcheeks. Maybe “don’t sexualize young girls” would be better.

Audra Carrion 8 months ago

#7. HATE

Sharon Erdos 8 months ago

I was lost on this one too. I put what the author defines as slut clothing (leggings and ‘mini’ skirts) on my 7 month old daughter and she looks adorable.

Colleen Cochran 8 months ago

#7 tops my enemy list.

Jessica Jewett 8 months ago

Agreed, 7 & 9, the worst. Bad parenting.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

You do realize that girls in turtlenecks and burkas and old women and every kind, color and shape of women and girls get raped and that is never going to stop until as a society we shift our focus and blame entirely on to the rapists and off of the victims.

Julie Squire 8 months ago

Re no 9 – I found out about four thieves oil, it’s a mixture of essentials oils that you can mix yourself and add to a carrier oil. It’s supposed to prevent anything you can catch. I’ve been putting it on my feet and my two children’s feet at night and so far this winter…. So good! I’ve attached a recipe that I found on the net.

Stephenie L Crocker Whitaker 8 months ago

Number 3 and 4 bother me the most.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Jill just said that. Should have used her name. The comment above mine and I’ve seen that comment many times when articles mention sick kids going out.

Sarah Brunson 8 months ago

Because if I kept him home everyday he had allergies and didn’t feel well he’d never be in school . Same for me I have to get up and go to work when I feel bad too.
Fever, throwing up, runs…different story, but a cough or I feel bad doesn’t necessarily mean free ticket to stay home.

Melissa Rodacy Reynolds 8 months ago

Birthday parties have cake. That’s what birthday parties are. Even I go for cake. I was confused by this as well.

Philippa Nicole Kelley 8 months ago

I was surprised I didn’t see this one!!! Or the “oh how can she tell you no?!? How dare her??” Yeah how about my kid my rules

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

Michelle, I was being sarcastic with my remark about not still judging women. I was hoping it would drive home the very point you made: that judging women for their appearance is still used to allow people to get away with horrible crimes against women.

Carole Gibbs Astley 8 months ago

Yes!!! The lice one is such a hard one to deal with when you can’t do anything about it on other kids heads and then you are nervous with every itch.

Kelly Jones McGann 8 months ago

Totally understand that…I’m referring to daycare and the necessity of a job. Sick kids at the gym, play yards, church etc I agree is frustrating.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

You think because it happens it’s OK to perpetuate? Modesty? Fuck that, I’m teaching my daughter AND my sons about consent and respect. I’m teaching them to be confident individuals. And don’t even get me started …who the hell thinks a first grader in a two piece is sexy? Jesus.

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

marisa, i don’t think any of us are talking about the typical runny nose that many kids, an d even adults, have in the winter months that may be due to allergies or any number of things. we’re talking actively sick, coughing/sneezing/wiping boogers on everything illness. like the kind people in my office have when they are standing at the copy machine hacking all over it.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

You’re right, Shelly, semantics don’t change the intent. Whether we’re decrying the garments or the people wearing them, we’re still saying that we feel like we have the power to judge and denigrate people for their choices.

I won’t allow my daughter to wear plunging necklines or booty shorts but I won’t judge other girls or their parents for them. I don’t teach my daughter that it’s wrong, simply that our fashion sense is different. My choice is simply to keep lecherous and predatory people from getting a free look.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

Yes!!!!

Melissa Rodacy Reynolds 8 months ago

I agree completely. I hate feeling sick and would hate to be FORCED to go to work if I wasn’t feeling well. Why do that to children?

Jessica Turner 8 months ago

I see where you’re coming from, but only to a point. I have a newborn at home. If someone sends their contagious kid out and they get my child sick, he infects his newborn sister and she lands in the ICU, “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it.

Julie Squire 8 months ago

Me too, no wonder I’m mummy no mates!

Melissa Rodacy Reynolds 8 months ago

Number 9 for sure. Poor kid. Yet these parents who send their kids to school sick are the same ones who act like they’re dying for three days and stay home with a head cold. You don’t work when you’re sick; you expect your kids to?

Rachel Carey 8 months ago

I honestly have never seen this. So I can’t relate and with all of the slut and whore words being thrown around I doubt very seriously the writer was referring to that rare occurrence and more to crop tops and short shorts which is ridiculous.

Judy Sheahan 8 months ago

Throwing inappropriate candy in goody bags like jawbreakers and gumballs! I have to sneak a “search and discard” before giving those bags to my kids.

Marissa Bamberger 8 months ago

If the snot is colored, I take them to the dr. Threw up or fever in 24 hours, home. But if every time I kept my kids home from daycare for a running nose I’d be homeless by spring. I would never want a cold to send a child to the hospital, but it’s not realistic or even required by schools or daycare to keep your kids home for a runny nose.

Elizabeth York 8 months ago

I like embracing mediocre.

Shelly Gasca 8 months ago

Thank you Michelle.

Nasia Pittaki 8 months ago

How about the “i know it all and you are doing it all wrong” kind of parent??

Kelly Jones McGann 8 months ago

And mediocre??? Majority of you complaining I’m assuming are throwing stones and can’t accept not to be competitive and most of all mediocre! Terrible article and definitely doesn’t define me as a parent of who makes it hard to be a parent. Just be one to your kids that works best for your family.

Michelle Boykin 8 months ago

I’m not sure where you live but yes grown women are still judged by how they dress. Ask a lawyer who is defending a rape case. It’s not right but the clothing a woman wears is still used as a defense and I don’t know about you but I’m trying to teach my daughter modesty so she doesn’t even see me in a 2 piece swimsuit because I don’t want my 1st grader to be sexy. I don’t want adult pervs who are everywhere looking at her. I want her self esteem to come from her knowing she has a great personality, and an intelligent mind. Not because she’s pretty and before you even say it yes I tell my daughter she’s pretty but it’s not the only compliment I give her.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

I’ve never been treated more poorly by women than by the mothers of the boys and men I dated. Grown women who humiliated and bullied me. And the trend obviously continues!

It’s a shame to think it’s acceptable to judge other women and to mistreat them. None of us are saints. It is particularly heinous when we eviscerate children and young women, directly or indirectly.

Shelly Gasca 8 months ago

She said dressed like.

Kelly Jones McGann 8 months ago

Is this a serious article or a joke? First of all we’re doing the best job we can all do with the resources we have. Why don’t you worry about yourself and your family and maybe the job your doing that someone else is criticizing you like you are others. especially when it comes to sick kids. Im pretty sure that majority of parents feel terrible when they’re kid gets sick at school or has to take them because they have no other choice.

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

It’s the “meaning” we take issue with. Not the semantics. Miss her point much?

Jen Jakiel 8 months ago

Agree –it’s a Birthday–comes with the territory; not too realistic to expect kids to compromise THEIR birthday party because the other kids mom hates sugar, lol

Jeremy Roy 8 months ago

Because is not an answer.

Julie Squire 8 months ago

Yes! think Brittany Spears, bless her.

Shelly Gasca 8 months ago

I wasnt offended. Little girls werent called sluts. Their garments are describe as making them look as such. Semantics wont change the meaning.

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

Its sad and I’m particularly edgy about it today after witnessing a friend call her 15 year old son a”perve” ON FACEBOOK, with a tag to his page, for inappropriate messages he sent a girl.

Then all the other low brow moms chimed in and everyone started calling these teenage girls sluts, hookers, skanks, etc. It was baffling. When I attempted to levy some reason, I was lambasted.

Nicole Van Hoose 8 months ago

While I agree with the slut-shaming sentiment, it is disturbing to see an 8-year-old dressed and made-up to look like a sexy little adult.

Dea Stevens 8 months ago

She lost me on this one as well. I couldn’t read anymore after the slut and whore comments.

Janet Frazao Conaci 8 months ago

#2 and #9 are awful. I don’t like that this said something about little girls dressing like sluts as that’s an awful word and not a word we should use against a child.

Rebecca Carroll Oppihle 8 months ago

He had pyelonephritis…he got strep and it escalated his fever and after a week at children’s he got a dx. He operates at 35/65.
He had bladder reconstructive surgery and yearly checks with doc. It was def scary, but without the strep we never would have known.
He has sensory issues & doesn’t feel pain.

Jill Vaughn 8 months ago

Yes! My daughter was born 16 weeks early. She’s 4 now and pretty healthy but a normal cold for a “regular” kid turns into hospitalizations and worse for my preemie and her weak immune system. Leave your sick kids at home!!

Kristin Twila Servais 8 months ago

I have to disagree with being a “Because I said so” parent. It teaches children never to question authority and makes the assumption that we are never wrong. I’d rather my kid knows that I’m human and can make mistakes sometimes. And like hell if I’m only going to encourage my kid to be mediocre. Screw that. 😛

Mary Ellen Smith-Wiesel 8 months ago

Totally agree with them all!

Elizabeth Locke 8 months ago

#4! And while we’re at it could we get dresses that are a little longer? Short leqggings are not comfy in summer.

Michael Cheri Pitts 8 months ago

Wow, that principal doesn’t sound like she belongs in a leadership position over the educators of children!

Dea Stevens 8 months ago

This writer referred to a child as a slut and a whore. Hopefully she will never write again. Way to enforce rape culture. Asshole.

Kaila Ziarnowski 8 months ago

How about the “oh it’s okay” person after you tell your kid no. STOP IT, YOU ARENT THEIR PARENT! I AM!

Caroline Fox Rice 8 months ago

Church nurseries are the worst

Grace Manter 8 months ago

Slut and child should never be in the same sentence.

Nicole Van Hoose 8 months ago

They could not attend. Who has a sugar-free party?

Tiffany 8 months ago

My 11 year old daughter has started going to the middle school dances with friends. Her lab partner (a boy) asked her if she was going with a “date” because he had a date. Um, no. She has no interest in boys yet. She went to the dance to see her friends and have fun. I told her that he would probably be the one paying child support when he was 18.

Kristy Eagleson Tigner 8 months ago

Lol this is funny!!

Tanya Mullen 8 months ago

We should be but unfortunately we’re still dealing with it :(

Michelle Boykin 8 months ago

#4, #7 and #9 are the absolute worst and should be considered child abuse. #4 cuz you’re pretty much grooming you’re daughter for sex, #7 cuz as long as your kid has lice they are miserable and #9 cuz you are putting your comfort over they’re well being. For the love of Pete cover they’re bodies, chemically fume your house and their heads and please take them to the damn doctor.

Barbara Lynn Barber Kemper 8 months ago

Hate is a strong word. Maybe reserved for terrorists or cancer.

Shaye Boucher 8 months ago

Poor kid has had vomiting/diarrhea/sore throat/fever, etc since Saturday. Pediatrician said can last two weeks. *screams* Entire family has been sick. :(

Nicole Van Hoose 8 months ago

My son got a letter for tardiness in kindergarten because he had 5 tarried and if he had one more he would get a detention. I told the principal, first, he can’t tell time so he can’t be responsible for being late. That’s when she told me that parents are asked to come in with the child for detention to show the child accountability. I laughed at her and said, I graduated, I don’t do detentions, I go to work. Second, he was late because he was SICK (he was getting headaches due to a vision issue) and I sent an excuse. I was told that there is no way to mark tardies as excused or unexcused, so the policy is a letter home after 5 tardies. I asked her, so I should keep him home all day when he only has a headache in the morning because that works better for your computer system? She was a moron and it is amazing to me that she was there as long as she was. No common sense.

Cherie A. Matta 8 months ago

Especially #4

Irina Rant Gimena 8 months ago

Yes! I hate #9

Michael Cheri Pitts 8 months ago

Yes, I offered a doctors note but it doesn’t stop the process and it can still go further they said. Ultimately they said it could end up with me in court providing the same notes…. they are strict on attendance where I live. I ultimately wouldn’t be in trouble with my documentation but the headache is probably why most parents where we live send there kids to school sick.

JoshandAshley Bissell 8 months ago

Sounds like a bunch of women throwing out judgments on other parents. Not every parent is perfect, and if they want to cheer on their kids like a spaz, or dont kill all the lice. (which I’m sure wasn’t there intentions) Its all a learning experience. Worry about your own fucking kids! Stop teaching your kids how to judge others. Start teaching them to respect. This is the problem with this generation.

Tiffany 8 months ago

I agree with this. However, please-PLEASE-give me more than 3 days notice for a birthday party. It is very difficult to get someone to cover for me at work on such short notice. Not to mention having the funds available for a decent gift. I will take my child if it is possible.

Kimmie Hill 8 months ago

Include the parent who doesn’t vaccinate their kids as well

Cathy Diana 8 months ago

#9! If you know your child is sick then stay home. Your child will get well faster and you will not spread it to others. As adults we don’t like going out when we don’t feel good so why send your child out.

Stephanie Shock 8 months ago

So the birthday party one…are we all supposed to serve sugar free cake? Unfortunately getting sugar highs is part of the gig with bday parties. I don’t particular enjoy my own sugared up kid but what are you going to do?

Tiffany Vangunten Brocker 8 months ago

I believe she was using sarcasm. I am a high achieving parent and expect my kids to be high achievers but not at all costs. They also need to be kids and have fun. There are parents out there that expect way too much from their KIDS and rob them of childhood.

Rachel Carey 8 months ago

Can someone explain how exactly you dress a CHILD like a “slut”? Do they even make “slut” clothes for children? First of all, can we stop calling grown women who do what they want with their own bodies “sluts”? Second of all I’m pretty sure there is no dress code so if you want to teach your daughter that the way she dresses defines her then that’s entirely up to you I won’t be participating thanks.

Rebecca Halley 8 months ago

Agree with this one 100%!!!

Shannon Hansen 8 months ago

1 and 9 yes!

Marlene Ponce 8 months ago

#9 definitely!!!!

Carisa Rowe 8 months ago

Do we really have to call little girls sluts, whores, and hookers? Even indirectly it is still shaming. It’s sad. How can we purport to be offended when boys do this to girls if we are doing it?

Perhaps a more effective, and less oppressive, way of getting that particular point across is to accuse parents of letting their young children dress like adults. Because surely we don’t judge grown women for their clothing choices in 2015? Or for their personal sexuality? I hope we’re more civilized than that.

Andrea Erlanger Kehler 8 months ago

Get a drs note.

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

<3 you

Life With Teens and Other Wild Things 8 months ago

It’s because your daughter’s 10 months old lol Wait til she’s a pre teen/teen and then see where you stand…

Honestly, I don’t think that a particular item of clothing is a huge problem, its how it fits each individual person. Some girls can wear “short shorts” without it being airline (showing the runway every time they bend over), and some girls can’t.

When my daughter was 8, we attended a Secret Keeper Girl fashion show, and they talked, in very practical terms, about clothing and how to be stylish without being overly immodest.

As my daughter about “hamster trampolines” sometime. LOL
The context is- if a shirt is so tight across your chest it creates a hamster-sized trampoline, it’s too tight.

They talked about layering- wearing a cami under that cute-but-too-low-cut top for example, and wearing leggings under mini skirts.

No one was suggesting Amish-style clothing, but there were a lot of good tips for not just “covering up” but wearing good-looking clothes and choosing styles that fit your body type. That, imho, is a healthier focus than “slut shaming”.

(But I admit, “prostitots” made me LOL).

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

the school should accept a doctor’s signed note in that case

Kendall Diaz 8 months ago

Don’t send your sick kids to any kind of school or nursery… Have moms that think the gym is ok to take your kid to when they are too sick for school :(

Brittany Morris Brown 8 months ago

UGHHHH! YES to all of these!!!

Ashley McLean 8 months ago

omg sorry everyone. I am #9. lol I didn’t miss my first day of school until I was a teenager…guess I retained my mothers habits. We have wicked awesome immune systems though, so I can at least promise it doesn’t happen often. 😛

Lindsey Knuteson 8 months ago

Can I like a few of these a million times???

Kate Junk 8 months ago

11.) the aunt/uncle/friend who isn’t a parent and gives gifts that:
-are loud
-have a million pieces
-go through 8 batteries a week
-have glitter

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

fair enough

Shaye Boucher 8 months ago

I allow for pharmacy exception too. Though we use drive thru.

Tracy Paquette 8 months ago

#9 is kryptonite in this house. Asthmatic kid plus parents not keeping their kid with influenza home equals my kid out for a week or more

Rebecca Lawhorn Huff 8 months ago

All of these!!

Chastity Irwin Register 8 months ago

Guilty of having a #10 and proud, probably because I wasn’t a #4 parent.

Shaye Boucher 8 months ago

#9 is why my daughter will miss this entire week. I have 48 hour rule. If can’t go 48 hours without fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, NOT going to school. Yes, I feel like a prisoner in my own home. But I don’t want this horror to spread to others. The Flu can kill elderly, babies, and those with weakened immune systems. Plus who wants to go to school when feels like crap?!

Teresa Howick Wilson 8 months ago

That’s messed up! You did the right thing!

Clasina Jones 8 months ago

The use of the word “whore” and “slut” in this is kinda gross :( There is a better way to make that point than using a term that used to degrade women for not behaving within the “norms” placed on them by men for what they deem ‘good behaviour”.

Rebecca Carvalho 8 months ago

Lol!

Alison Murray 8 months ago

#5! I’m constantly being told: “Because isn’t an answer, it’s a joining word”. No, it is an answer when it comes from me! When she pushes it, my answer becomes: “Because I said so”

Leanna Maitland 8 months ago

My son also has kidney disease and I cringe every time he tells me about the latest booger factory in his class. I hope your son has recovered and is in remission. Xo

Schirin Jungclaus 8 months ago

#9 is the worst, for sure!

Carol Dunn 8 months ago

Yeah, #7 is the worst…

Michael Cheri Pitts 8 months ago

I kept my kids home for nearly a week with the flu then I got a nasty letter about truency. Makes me scared to keep my kids home sick. I don’t want to get in trouble for that.

Connie Wallace Christman 8 months ago

#7 & #9

Sarah Ann Tarman 8 months ago

I hate when articles resent over achieving parents and request us all to be mediocre. No thanks.

Stephanie McGregor 8 months ago

9 and 7

Tara Carr Witter 8 months ago

#9 made us have to cut our trip to see family down to less than half. We drove 12 hours to spend 1 lousy day with my in-laws, and 1 hour with mine. Merry freaking Christmas and a pukey New Year.

Kara Munkvold 8 months ago

#9 drives me insane I know when I don’t feel well I don’t want to do anything let alone sit in a hard chair at a cold desk all day I feel so bad for those kids and all the other people they’re infecting

Kristin Bonner 8 months ago

Yes #7 and #9 worst ever!

Debi Broniszewski Pucciarelli 8 months ago

#10 Um sorry, but your kid can’t be “advanced” at everything

Life With Teens and Other Wild Things 8 months ago

Cultural thing. English folks often say “tea” when Americans would say “Brunch” or even “lunch”.

Sarah 8 months ago

#11 people who give you parenting advice when they don’t have children.

Amanda Rodriguez 8 months ago

#4, #7 & #9 you are

Claire Caudill Johnson 8 months ago

Teachers totally hate numbers 7 and 9, too!

Julie Squire 8 months ago

And another one the Mum who let’s her children wack her, interrupt, cry and they get that toy etc etc the Mum with no boundaries whatsoever. Spoilt child in the making. Your children see her give in and act the same! Awful.

Sue Alley 8 months ago

#4….FOR SURE!!!!!!….with #9 coming in close behind!

Christina Stepnitz Crise 8 months ago

Avoiding being a #9 today by taking a sick day with my 8mo. Yeah it’s hard but I don’t want other kids to get his stomach bug.

Marcela Marchesini Kapfer 8 months ago

#1,7,9

Joycelyn Herndon 8 months ago

Amen to all !

Jeanette Ellison 8 months ago

4 and 7 push me over the edge lol

Rebecca Carroll Oppihle 8 months ago

If it wasn’t for a parent sending their child to school with strep we never would have known my son’s kidneys were starting to fail…until it was to late.

Life With Teens and Other Wild Things 8 months ago

Oh trust and believe, being there means a LOT more than some people would have you believe. Yes, absolutely, we need to be more involved in our kids’ lives than just being a lump on the couch, but I think what you’re implying is the parents who think that every activity their kid is in needs to involve them as well. You know what? It’s perfectly ok to sit on the bench and WATCH your kid play little league. And, occasionally, it’s even ok to *gasp* send them to a game that you, yourself do not witness.

Your child will survive the trauma, I promise.
I’m a work-at-home mom and my “just being here” means a lot more to my teens than I thought before we talked about it. Being there is huge. Increased involvement is a bonus.

Ali Slocum DeFrancesco 8 months ago

All of the above. #7 makes me laugh. Law suit! Ha

Natekrys Thornton 8 months ago

I agree #7 and #9!!!

Cheri Goodman 8 months ago

2,4,6,9,10……these are the ones who HATE me. Lol. I guess I need to find a filter for my mouth and my opinion……nah

Kathrine Nordstrom Anderson 8 months ago

Oh my gosh, #9!!!!!

Lindsay Perez 8 months ago

#9 and #4. #2 irritates me because my daughters step-mom tried to do that and it hurt my daughters feelings. So I told the ex and his spouse, nicely, that she doesn’t like that.

Brooke N. Turgeon 8 months ago

#9, I will slap you!

Christine Whitaker Gold 8 months ago

#9

Melissa Mercado-Marin 8 months ago

######7!!!!!! Can you tell Im STILL BITTER?!???!!

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

HATE #9. and it doesn’t just apply to school. taking sick kids out anywhere that isn’t the doctors office drives me up the wall! then these kids who went out sick with their parents will turn into those who go into the office sick and infect everyone there. stay home if sick!!!

Janet Singleton Reynolds 8 months ago

#7 and #9 – yes, yes, yes!!!!!

Lynnette Panarra 8 months ago

#4!!!!

Natalie Norton 8 months ago

#9!

Jen 9 months ago

Yes I totally agree. I am overly cautious about sending my kid to school coughing to the point that he can’t talk and gag. My friend said I should have sent him for he wasnt feverish or puking. I will continue to be overly cautious.

Amanda 9 months ago

I have to say something on this one. What I pack in my kids’ lunch boxes is none of anyone’s concern.

Becky 9 months ago

August,

I think it is crazy that you felt it was necessary to point out a typo. Actually, that’s obnoxious.

Get your facts straight. There is in fact a 24-hour fever free rule. A fever means your body is fighting something and being free of that fever for 24 hours means that the infectious process is most likely no longer contagious.

Becky

Stacy Scanlon 9 months ago

I agree with all of these with the exception of #7. Lice can be extremely hard to eradicate and can often take multiple tries. I would amend that one as “The parent who sends their child back to school without having fully eradicated the lice.” Just as when a child is sick give it at least 24 hours to be sure it’s gone.

stevi 9 months ago

#9! A mom at my kids daycare let both of her kids go to school with ACTIVE staph infections. She didn’t tell the school. The daycare owner didn’t find out until she overheard said mom talking with another mom about it. My toddler had MRSA last year and was hospitalized, so the daycare called me IMMEDIATELY, but it was already too late. my poor baby had staph all over her face. Luckily we didn’t end up in the hospital again because I bathed my baby in mupirocin everyday for 2 weeks, but still. What a B*TCH

frynnsl 10 months ago

I walked into Target and saw thongs meant for a 4 year old. Who the heck buys thongs for a 4 year old. One of my neighbors puts her 5 year old in low ride skinny jeans so she “knows how to feel sexy” wtf?

Marie 10 months ago

We were staying at my in-laws house, when my then 6-year-old lost a tooth. I asked my MIL if I could run to the store really quickly to get some change for the tooth fairy, My dear, sweet brother-in-law said not to worry about it, that he had change and asked if he could play tooth fairy. He seemed so excited about it (he’s basically a big kid), so I said, yes. The next morning, my daughter woke up all excited because she had a $20 under her pillow. Usually, the tooth fairy left $1 or a small item from the dollar bin.

Marie 10 months ago

Can we add #11 — the Perfect Parent — you know the one whose kids are never dirty, get perfect grades and never misbehave (at least in public)? It wouldn’t be so sickening if this parent didn’t feel a need to constantly show off and let you (oh, so NOT subtly) know how you could be doing things better.

cherie 11 months ago

I agree with all of these, however our local health board have just issued guidelines that include tonsillitis and glandular fever as illnesses that require NO time off school. So if we don’t send them in we are looking at a potential fine for “unauthorised absences”.

August 1 year ago

No, there is not a 24 hours after a fever rule. I have never heard of such a thing. If my kids throws up one day and the next day gobbles down breakfast, I am not keeping him home. Especially with the crazy school district’s policy of not excusing any absence unless a doctor writes a note. I refuse to take my child to the doctor when I know all he has is a short stomach bug.

@ScaryMommy–In your very first paragraph there is a typo (I hope it’s a typo and not intentionally spelled that way). The word solely has two l’s, not the one that you put in. sole-ly

monique 1 year ago

Fish I don’t agree it being that bad……… we just lost our last ‘fair’ fish (it lived 5+years)

melbo 1 year ago

If we called it “recess” would that help?

Scatteredmom 1 year ago

About sending the sick kids to school, you don’t just make everyone else’s kids sick, you make the staff sick as well.

But you know, re: the overachievers, for some people, certain things are their hobby. I love to cook. So for me, making kick ass lunches or gingerbread houses with my kid was my thing, something I really enjoyed. Being told I was an overachiever and making other people look bad.. well.. it hurt. I was just doing something because I loved it.

Marlena 1 year ago

We live in Germany..My younger son is 3,5 years old and goes to daycare ( half-day)..Sometimes I would love to send some ´´special´´ parents to hell´s kitchen for not dressing their kids proper in regard of the weather…It´s always the same f****ing game…After some hot days suddenly we have some cooler days with wind..rain..Most of the parents dress up their kids with some warmer clothes…some others are not able..they send their kids with short and skinny clothes to daycare like it would be 30°…but we have only 12° or so…And what happends? The children are getting sick with catching a cold and fever…and they pass it right away to the others…It really sucks! Or they bring them sick to the daycare…I hate it so much…It is a vicious circle…

Jo 1 year ago

Can we get a pass on no 6 if it’s the first birthday? That was for me. This year, she’s going to a park.

KayS 1 year ago

$10 for a tooth? WHAT? We got $1 for the FIRST tooth, and 25 cents for every tooth after that!

Also, I would add to this list: every single person who has any opinion at all about vaccines. Because if you get them, there are people who are going to tell you that you did a terrible thing that will result in cancer, autism, and various other problems. If you don’t get them, there are people who will tell you that you’re dooming your child to a life of disease and a gruesome, painful death. Either way, the decision you’ve made is practically akin to child abuse. JUST LET PARENTS DO THE RESEARCH, HEAR THE ADVICE, AND THEN MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.

Of course, there are several other topics that can be similar in the sense of you’re-doing-it-wrong no matter what decision you make. But vaccines seem to me to be the worst–a complete culture of fear on either side of the issue.

Brid 1 year ago

Move to Ireland where the likes of toddlers and tiaras pageants are banned, but we also have gypsies who wear next to nothing and their kids even more so.

AnnaPhylaxis 2 years ago

I’ve essentially been cross-dressing since I was 14 and had to buy my own clothes: boys’ jeans and sweaters were half the price of girls’ versions, and lasted years and years. As an adult, I’ve had conversations with women who bemoan the lack of pockets in women’s clothes. Who wants to carry a purse these days, anyway?

AnnaPhylaxis 2 years ago

Good for you – do not try to keep up. It is not worth it. I had a “pool party” for my two-year old son, too: it was a wading pool set up in the back yard, had lots of towels and sunscreen for the kids, and they and their parents had the best time, just sitting and watching the kids have a great time!

AnnaPhylaxis 2 years ago

Agree that money doesn’t buy (parental) brains. “Retro” indeed! It sounds like you put a lot of love and effort into making your son’s birthday party special and memorable and fun! My son is now 20, and I really couldn’t wrap my head around the ‘birthday gift bags/goody bags’ when he was little. Never had an open (or closed, for that matter) bar for the parents who left off and picked up their children. What a thoroughly bad example to set for the kids.

AnnaPhylaxis 2 years ago

Don’t negotiate with your kids about clothes. Bottom line is bottom line. And that line shouldn’t show! Don’t worry about what your kids say about you – of course, they will resort to “I HATE YOU”. And then you give ’em a time out & start taking away priveledges.

carla77084 2 years ago

If you’re THIS defensive about what your child is wearing… maybe she shouldn’t be wearing it. Like it or not.. she’ll be judged her whole life for things as silly as how she dresses. Doesn’t mean he’s 100% right. Doesn’t mean you are either. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. YOU’RE the one who made it personal.

Harriet 2 years ago

There are some serious studies out there that study serotonin levels of babies brains during development in the womb. Levels that are to high often cause mental disease. Just something I thought was interesting.

Sam 2 years ago

Children in bikinis don’t bother me, unless they’re the kind that look like adult string bikinis. It’s a bathing suit. Wear what’s comfortable. A one piece, for instance, is really difficult for a toddler to take off every time she has to pee, when a boy only has to yank down a pair of shorts. My toddler has a pot belly (as so many toddlers do) so tankinis roll up on her anyway, and that makes her uncomfortable. I don’t think a bikini is at all the same as tiny short shorts or skirts, or tops cut in a sexualized fashion, or the twerking six year olds I saw in last year’s Christmas parade. Bikinis on babies. I’ve seen pictures of my mother in a bikini back in the early sixties. It’s swimming attire–normal swimming attire. Frankly, my daughter had an adorable yellow polka dot bikini when she was 0-3 months old, and since she doesn’t know how to twerk and doesn’t wear skirts that flash her little toddler ass every time she bends over, I don’t think it makes me a bad mother.

hannah 2 years ago

Oh, that makes me sad! However, I have had to send my son to school like that before just to be counted present. He had missed 13 days and was cutting it really close to having to do make up school days. I don’t think he even made it into the class room, but it still made me sad.

Evie 2 years ago

What about when I can justify it, but am unenthusiastic about letting my kids play lawyer for half an hour?

getabrain 2 years ago

Um, no twit tits, she’s talking about little girls, like age 6-10 year old girls wearing make up, playing with ‘brats’ dolls, and wearing skirts so short everyone can see their undies. Stop sexualizing children! You ignorant ditz, of course woman deserve respect, but little girls aren’t women!!! Teach them modesty and respect for themselves, so they don’t think the only thing they are worth is some idiot’s spooge. What a Fckng liberty !!!

rose cross 2 years ago

Here Here, well said!

That Mom 2 years ago

especially #7… LOL!! A parent had the same child a two different preschools and managed to transfer what they “supposedly had handled at home” to our school. If you can imagine a mother half passed out/in tears trying to get rid of lice on a wiggly 4yo (thank heavens for http://www.licetoknowyou.com)!!! So now at every school info night I am the obnoxious mother who lets everyone know that IF YOU SEE A SINGLE EGG OR LICE IN YOUR CHILD”S HAIR CALL THE SCHOOL ASAP – I don’t care who you are I just want it gone. My poor husband wishes he could crawl under the desks by this point of the Q & A session. The WORSE, what I call – “Mommy Hazing Moment” EVER!

Jenessa Bayliss 2 years ago

you made my day, thank you!!

Perennial 2 years ago

I had to switch banks because the 50-ish childless branch manager of my old one insisted the drive-up tellers automatically hand out a sucker or COOKIE with a receipt, whenever they spotted a kid in the back seat. Is common sense really in such short supply these days?

Perennial 2 years ago

Boy clothes are made *better* as well, especially the play variety. Unless, an item had a truck or dinosaur, my daughter was fine with a cute, sturdy pair of boy cargo pants or a genderless shirt to go outside and play in.

Perennial 2 years ago

We started out with a *quarter* from the tooth fairy to go with the *teaching* bank that lighted and voiced the coin dropped in, its value and then the total saved. Cannot do that with bills. ::sigh:: Some short term thinking parents just want to make it harder on themselves and others.

I’ve had it with store clerks who also make life difficult for parents of young kids. Just when I finally got through to mine not to talk to strangers and why, bored clerks at the register all seemed to think it was a good idea to chat up a lil’ kid they’d never seen before, some even calling my daughter “my little friend”. Once out of the store and in the car, I’m forced to yet again have the stranger danger talk that now includes “that total stranger behind the counter whom you otherwise think is okay, even safe when older and on your own, and absolutely are forced to deal with since you cannot get out of the store without handing your money to.” I also make it a point to never visit those stores again. One rare time, when I actually had 30 seconds to spare, I smiled at the clerk and informed her that we’d taught our kids not to talk to strangers. (Btw, store owners, your female clerks do this much more often than males.) She stopped, absorbed what I’d just said and nodded that it made sense. ‘Ya think?

Perennial 2 years ago

We resolved the suggestive little girl clothing by simply never ever buying one item – no matter the brand, color or fit, if it had anything but flowers or the name of a vacation spot we’d visited. Harsh, but it works. No alluring hooker blinged out pussy cats, no cherries or “Sweet Enough to Eat”, not a single “Daddy’s Princess” or “My Heart Belongs to Daddy”. Even the high-end Gymboree goes way overboard with suggestive words on otherwise modest lil’ girl clothing. All the clothing manufacturers know precisely what they’re doing by insinuating phrases that most adults know are code for prick tease oral sex and a perverted older male fixation on toddlers and young girls. There’s a residual effect on the brothers and other boys who see girls wearing that stuff, presuming it is a training manual for what it means to be female and that it’s okay for them and all of society to buy into shallow mass market clothing conglomerates that callously objectify, sexualize and overall undervalue the female half of the planet purely for the arousal of the other half.

mary 2 years ago

A M E N

Hannah Crull-Sher 2 years ago

I agree with all of these except number five. "Because" really isn't an answer, and if you can't justify a rule or ruling, don't make it.

Diana 2 years ago

She’s complaining about her daughter moving away from “THE FAMILY” and if she hadn’t moved away she could shovel her kids on some other neighbor because, you know, they’re such a “chore”…cray cray for sure.

Ariella 2 years ago

I havta say, I agree with the prostitot thing, but I have bought my daughter bikinis before (she is 5 and got her first at 3). Why? Well, its really quite simple. Potty training/bathroom access. I try to get her tankinis when possible, but I can’t always find them and I absolutely REFUSE to buy her a 1 piece. She inevitably ends up having an accident. She just cant get it off fast enough. P.S. I usually make her wear a cover up in public places anyway, so I dunno if it counts.

Jewel momma 2 years ago

To all the judgmental moms out there (who apparently only have boys) this message is for you!

Who or what gives you the right to judge little girls as whores?? You never wore spaghetti straps? or a bikini? Why do you instantly assume that sparkly dresses and leggings equals “pole-dancer”?

Also for the moms out there that look down on teen girls that are pregnant – who do you think got them that way? The Holy Spirit?? He-who-must-not-be-named?? Other ‘slutty’ or ‘whorish’ girls???
No dear mamas, the answer is BOYS!!!

If you teach your son that all girls who wear miniskirts or leggings are looking to get laid – well then it’s your disgusting son that I don’t want anywhere near my daughter!!
Everybody (and I mean absolutely everybody) has a right to wear what they want! The fact that you sexualize it makes you the sicko not the little girls!

Teach your children to respect each other no matter what they wear!!! And remember ladies – you were little girls once too!

Shawne Anderson 2 years ago

What about the "super mommy" blogger, Facebook friend, or Twitter twit who has transformed their house into a toddler wonderland (you know this because they constantly post the pictures), writes as if their entire day is spent making the child's life a sensory bin adventure, and claims to know how to build a life-sized Thomas the Tank Engine out of cardboard toilet paper tubes. My inferiority complex is seriously considering hiring a drifter to kill you.

Sabrina Short 2 years ago

Ok, I'm definetely not a mom. But a good babysitter, but I know that babysitting doesn't even come close to comparing to parenthood….but i gotta say…The whole "dressing your kids up like mini teens" is getting to me. I've been seeing alot of moms and dads walking around with their daughters dressed in tiny little mini shorts, or the girls already have a bunch of makeup at age 10, or wearing non-age appropriate skirts, dresses, and low cut T-shirts. I mean…isn't this setting them up to wanna dress up even more innapropriate when they finally hit puberty? When I was 10, I was running around in boy clothes, while getting my hands dirty, and running around outside playing tag and biking with my friends…lately, i see alot of 10 year olds that are acting wayy too old for their ages. Its making me think they're missing out on something so important….A fun, non-serious, childhood. :I. The new generations are growing up too fast.

Jennifer Elling 2 years ago

Stephanie Donnelly Smart move! They all died within days, except for one or two!

Stephanie Donnelly 2 years ago

Hahahahahaha … I left before the fish appeared!

Jennifer Elling 2 years ago

Guilty of #1 and #6. I am still hearing about the goldfish we gave out! They are all dead but I still hear about it! lol

Stacey Gallahan 2 years ago

Loved this..thanks for sharing!

Starla Keller 2 years ago

SO glad someone finally addressed the slut-wear issue! Thank You!

withyasister 2 years ago

Oh and especially since you can’t buy anything off the ice cream truck with spare change anymore….!!

withyasister 2 years ago

yep

withyasister 2 years ago

omg! It’s like you’re in my BRAIN! lol, this has been my biggest frustration since becoming a mom….and working FT as well. I once interviewed for a new job and the boss (a woman!) asked, ‘So, what is your Plan B in case your kids are sick’?? I looked at her in complete amazement and said, ummmm I am Plan B, Plan C, Plan D…you get it. I told her I would not be wasting anymore of her time. Outta there. I doubt a man has ever been asked that question on an interview?

withyasister 2 years ago

ok, your comment about mediocre made me snort my lemonade through my nose! love it!

Jessica 2 years ago

Other moms can dress their kids any way they want….but if they’re dressed like they are trying to get laid, they won’t be hanging around my kids.

Jessica 2 years ago

Do you also think that women who are raped were “asking for it”? Perverts and pedophiles don’t need an excuse. They are what they are, and it doesn’t matter if a child is dressed in a bikini or a burka.

Jessica 2 years ago

Parenting is a verb. Raising children is just like doing anything else worthwhile…the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. If you’re just going to “be present”, don’t expect the kids to do much more than that once they’re grown.

Shelley 2 years ago

Yeah..what’s with the bikinis for little girls?

Jen 2 years ago

Also, while I agree there is a difference between the common cold (goes to school!) and just-vomitted-last night (staying home!), I still think there should be #11:

Parents who assume they know exactly who gave their kid (strep throat/bug virus/hand-foot-and-mouth disease). First off, it doesn’t matter who is to blame. And 2nd, you’re probably not a scientist, with vast knowledge of how viruses spread. Just because you see little Johnny had strep 3 times at school doesn’t mean he’s the one that gave it to your precious Princess. You have no clue who had what first because it is all spreading around all the time. Your Princess may actually have gotten a virus from someone who didn’t show any symptoms…like from a family member, or you!

Jen 2 years ago

Love the list! And all the comments about hooker-clothing is pretty funny considering “real” hookers most likely aren’t wearing any of the things commenters are describing. They are more likely very poor, and are wearing just basic clothing (at least that’s what I see on tv!).

Jen 2 years ago

I didn’t understand a word of that post.

Katie 2 years ago

I think we’ll call you bitchy mommy instead…lay off with the personal attacks and snippy comments.

Kristy 2 years ago

It was always “morning tea” and “afternoon tea” when I went to pre-school/kindy [Western Australia]. Primary school onwards, we had recess and lunch. My sister and I always drank tea as children [I prefer stronger beverages these days].

Kristy 2 years ago

When my sister was four [turning five], a classmate at kindy broke my sister’s leg [by accident]. She had to have a full leg cast & wheelchair for over three months. My mum was an emergency/theatre nurse at a private hospital at the time, they wouldn’t let her take long-service or leave-without-pay to look after her child, essentially forcing her to quit her job.

Rachel 2 years ago

Omgosh yes especially on # 4 and 9

I cannot tell you how horrible this last school year was. My daughter got sick so much from being exposed to stuff at school it was ridiculous. She missed half the year! There was almost nothing that she DIDN’T get!

Claudia 2 years ago

OMG! My favorite post ever!!!! I keep repeating all of those things every day! Please, don’t forget to let me know if you ever decide to have a collective lawsuit (#7)! Keep up the great and so very funny (and great for my learning English) writings!!!

Jarek 2 years ago

Children with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to be sociable, cooperative, optimistic and able to solve problems.

They tend to be better-behaved, less impulsive, and have a higher academic performance. They are happier, have more friends and are more likely to be successful in life.

So there is a big impact on what we do as parents. Give your children a head start!

Rachelle 3 years ago

Oh my gosh sick kids where they should not be is one of my pet peeves. Especially sick kids in the church nursery. Really? You couldn’t just stay home with the sick kids? Instead you will inevitably get every other toddler in the nursery sick with the bug your kids have? Ugh. It’s not like you are working today, since you are in church.

kelleyp 3 years ago

Tru that! My firend throws the over the top birthday parties that put my little family get together to shame! her son is going to be 3 this year. She has had a hall for birthday 1 with 50+ppl and games. Birthday 2 pool party in January! Not only did I have to go swimming with my winter lbs on plus deal with ear infections due to wet heads leaving. Cake was first had to leave directly after swimming! Year 3 this year face painting, bounce houses superhero costume party at a hall!. SMH i just dont even try to keep up!!!!!!!!

P 3 years ago

Hey! My dad wasn’t the obnoxious sport parent!
…until I was 5, that is. I should not be able to remember JVKG (junior varisty Kindergarten) soccer, but I think I do because I can hear the coach on the other team telling my dad “It’s only a game.” Not even sure why he needed to shout; probably two strides and he would have crossed the field.
…(sigh) Middle school was even better: all the popular boys were umpires for my lil bro’s tee ball team (yes, tee ball), and my dad got banned from coaching. “Whoa, your dad is, like, super crazy!”
That super crazy man is a super good Grandpa now, but Jesus Henry Christ, it took a long time to get there.

auntiemally 3 years ago

When I was at my catholic highschool as a senior, we used to call the little new niners pros-ti-tots because of their excessively shorter kilts….love that it wasn’t regional!

Mommy to 3 3 years ago

I do the same thing! This toy lives at Grama’s house. LOL

Mommy to 3 3 years ago

I feel lucky. Our schools, all grades, are strict about dress codes. If you are not in compliance, mama gets a call and the kids goes home or mama brings appropriate clothing. And if the kid goes home, it is marked as an unexcused absence.

Mommy to 3 3 years ago

Yep. I had a mom tell me her son was “faking it.” Ummm… faking a fever and vomiting? That would be quite a feat! Never the less, the mom refused to come get the boy. :(

Lanie 3 years ago

I have heard that the Tooth Fairy gets one million dollars to give out each night. So depending on how many kiddos lost a tooth that day that is how much you will get. That is why some kids get more and some get less.

Jessica Smock 3 years ago

Anyone who gives my toddler son ANYTHING unsolicited (I’m talking to you, pediatrician, who gives one year olds huge stickers and random toys) because he will stick anything in his mouth and swallow it. My son is also allergic to dairy and I hate being that parent who asks has to ask, “Is there milk in this?” and take away the cake or cookie.

Ashley 3 years ago

My husband’s well-off aunt and uncle recently sent our 2 year old a roller coaster. It’s 8all feet long! Where the hell am I supposed to put that?! It certainly isn’t going to fit anywhere in the house….at least not with her recliner and cardboard house in here, too. They’re upset that I haven’t put it together yet, but c’mon. Just because your house is massive doesn’t mean ours is!

Confetti 3 years ago

Random caps make me twitchie. Actually, most of your comment made me twitchie.

Bethany 3 years ago

#2, #2, #2!!! I can tolerate all the rest, but the parents who *yell* at my 7 year old because he accidentally threw an interception? I want to STRANGLE them. And I’m a pretty nice person overall. Just sayin.

Ivy Roberts 3 years ago

They should add to the list:
“If you do everything right and are a perfect saint throughout your pregnancy, you will have perfect children who are as healthy as an ox.
I did everything right and my 10 yr old has Bipolar with delusions. Besides,how healthy is an ox anyway?

Tameri 3 years ago

Don’t fall off that high horse. ^

stmpd 3 years ago

The best was when I worked a school and my student was vomiting and had a fever. His mother refused to come pick him up from the nurse’s office. The mother insisted he was vomiting because he must have eaten his lunch too fast and that he probably didn’t have a fever – he was just wearing too heavy of a sweater. Jesus fucking christ.

stmpd 3 years ago

it’s not a new word…. smh

Joy 3 years ago

Oh, and our tooth fairy didn’t leave money. She left books.

Joy 3 years ago

When my twin daughters were little *they* were the ones who did not like the spaghetti straps and mini skirts. They liked the boy’s department better, so I told them, “Clothes don’t know if a boy or girl is wearing them – so buy what you like.” It was great for my pocketbook, too, because the boy clothes were often cheaper. Made it easier to shop at Goodwill, as well.

mandy 3 years ago

It’s only called morning tea (not sure why) no one gives the kids tea. Same thing as intervel, morning play, smoko. I have no idea why we call it morning tea and afternoon tea, must be a new zealand thing.

Danielle 3 years ago

What is really crazy is the $20 per tooth parent…..I would break the bank in no time!

Aimee 3 years ago

$1? When I was a kid it was 25 cents! When my first child lost her first tooth around 1999, all I had on me was a $5 bill, and my sister/neighbor wasn’t home, and the kids were already asleep. So she got $5 for one stinking tooth. I’m scared of what the going rate may be when my youngest two lose their first teeth.

Taremi 3 years ago

You’ve missed the point. By the time a person is 24, she should know what’s appropriate and what’s not. If you (at 32) are dressing like “a ho,” then you probably know that, don’t you? Do you really need your mommy to point it out?

Grandpa 3 years ago

No- It is the parents responsibility to properly care for the kids!!

Grandpa 3 years ago

Sorry, but your responsibilities run a little deeper than “just being there”. It is your responsibility to show your children the proper way to live life by example. It is your responsibility to raise children that are repectful, thoughtful, and know how to have good clean fun. TV and Computers are very poor babysitters and you are the one that accepted this responsibility by having them in the first place!

essie 3 years ago

Oh Good I was starting to feel like a jerk about the kid with sniffles comment. I wasn’t referring to fever or vomiting or other serious stuff. Here in New England kids cough, sneeze, and sniffle from October through April. All of them. As some one pointed out they all catch it from someone before symptoms present themselves. If you kept a kid home that whole time you would be talking to a truancy officer.

Christine 3 years ago

CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN DIAPERS. OMG!!!! Perfect! Saving that one for my 10 year old when he starts ogling the prostitots and eskihoes. I am ever thankful that he is in Catholic grade school and we don’t have to worry about the hoochies. The worst we have is a dancer who wears eyeliner – she started in the 4th grade. I couldn’t wear lip gloss until 8th grade. Times have certainly changed. I have to confess – I was the rich tooth fairy. We didn’t even know his tooth was loose, so we were totally unprepared. It fell out and he was traumatized by the fact that a part of his body had just rejected him. Anyway, neither one of us had anything smaller than a $20. It was SO wrong. Every tooth thereafter – $1.

Kelly @ In the Mom Light 3 years ago

When I say sick kid here I mean like threw up in the night, still at school in the morning…….. ugh, rude.

Kelly @ In the Mom Light 3 years ago

OMG – the sick kid sent to school chaps my ass in a serious way. I know someone who feels entitled to send her kid because she paid for it. This person doesn’t work and could care less the stress sending a sick kid imposes on parents who do have to work and figure out what the hell to do with a sick kid!

Shefali 3 years ago

Wow this is one popular post! The comments are as interesting as the post too. But yea, its SO annoying when people have their obviously (and I am not talking sniffles here) kid to school.

Danielle 3 years ago

I am 32 and if I looked like a ho, my mother would have no problem saying so. I am sure Virginia’s parents don’t pick her clothes out for her, but probably tell her when she is not dressed appropriately. No reason to be so catty.

Tina 3 years ago

2. My daughter joined t-ball this past Spring. One mother (thank heavens from another team!) yelled at her kid while he batted “That’s a lazy swing! If you’re going to slack off, why am I wasting my evenings here?” It was his first year. He was 5.
3. One of my Mini’s friends got $20 for her first tooth and was promised $5 for each additional tooth. SERIOUSLY?!
6. The only thing worse are the wish lists where the cheapest toy is $40. GRRR
7. This is why I keep the shampoo on hand now. It’s only October and we’ve gotten 3 notices home about a lice outbreak.
10. A mother I know would do flash cards with her 1yo then proclaim her a genius. That was back when she used to spend time with her kid though.

Liana 3 years ago

My kids love tea :) But what school would give kids morning tea?

Liana 3 years ago

Where is the ‘Like’ button when you need it? I thought this was a great argument, I loved reading it. Somehow, I can relate to both sides. Nothing is ever black and white in my world. I don’t want to say ‘because I said so’ to my kids, but my older son asks 100 questions a minute and never listens to any of my responses and I happened to be a human. Sometimes I am only able to answer the first 500 questions a day because I’ve got better things to do. Did I have too many kids for my own good? Probably. But if I wasn’t perfect before I had kids, I sure am not gonna get perfect now.

Jan 3 years ago

Christie: thanks so much for the new meme! Can’t wait to spread the term ~ pros-ti-tots….LOVE IT! 😀

Liana 3 years ago

I don’t know, I have mixed feelings about the one with a sick kid. How sick is sick? I have 2 wheezers – when they get sick, they cough and have runny nose for 4-5 weeks at a time. Sometimes it’s one virus after another. Should I take 2 months off to stay home with my kids while paying for daycare? Fever is one thing, but during flu season, they are constantly sick, especially because there are 22 other kids in my son’s kindergarten and 15 in my other son’s daycare. Either I take them with runny nose and cough or quit my job.

stephanie 3 years ago

i’m with you on all but the sick kid at school one. my kid is sick because some other mom sent theirs earlier in the week – yep. not fair, but heck if i’m gonna keep my kid home over some boogers and cough – the whole class will have it soon enough anyway…. after a couple parenting years i stopped being upset about other moms sending sick kids to school and play places and decided it builds strong immune systems for when the big one comes around someday – and throw my kid out there too. most germs are spread before a kid even shows symptoms anyway and i’m gonna need the break alone before i get it myself anyway – ha.

Cypriania Aubergine 3 years ago

morning tea? no kid likes tea… tooo high falooting to say milk or juice?

cowgirlbetty 3 years ago

Your doctor is right. There is no reason for a kid with a cold not to go to school. At the point when a child is symptomatic, it is unlikely he is actively contagious. Granted, he might feel miserable, but Little Jimmy was spreading is disease and contagion to all of his buddies while he was feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed a couple of days before–rather than while his nose is running faster than Flo Jo.

The best way for parents and teachers to help kids stay healthy is providing frequent hand washing and teaching them some basic hygiene. They also keep up with vaccinations for their whole family–not just their kids.

Kids are going to get sick. That’s part of their job. Parents and teachers who get mad when kids are sent to school sick is as pointless as getting mad at the rain because it is wet.

I’m not saying kids should be sent to school vomiting and miserable, and with high fevers. Schools are for education, and teachers shouldn’t be expected to be nursemaids. But I don’t know how many times I’ve seen kids ask to go home because they wanted to avoid a test or they just broke up with their boyfriend. School administration then obligingly hands them the phone because it’s easier to have them out of class than be a pain in their arse. (Yes, I’ve worked with a lot of schools in my day as a social worker. My mother is a retired teacher. I get it.)

What makes me so high and mighty? Nothing at all. Compared to physicians and pediatricians, I know squat. But I know it is a common lament for my physician husband, his coworkers, and other pediatrician friends. Many parents drag children to the ER or pediatric offices because schools sent them home with a cold–and are more likely to be exposed to even more virulent bugs in the waiting room. Then they demand antibiotics and expect a treatment used to kill bacteria will cure a virus.

Schools and daycares are giant petri dishes. It’s part of life’s suckiness. Don’t automatically blame negligent parents. Just hand your kid another popsicle as she worships the Porcelain God.

Hannah 3 years ago

#9 gets me!! I can’t stand that! I took my 15 month old to an indoor play area, and there was a little boy (3yrs or so) coughing in everyone’s face. Like one of those mucousy coughs, the kind that you KNOW your kid is sick. Needless to say, my daughter got sick and so did my friends baby.

VirginiaLlorca 3 years ago

Over four thousand twitter shares? They aren’t going to be too happy with me.

I agree with just about all all these things you listed. Doesn’t it seem like they are almost universal truths? Then why oh why does it still go on?
My daughter got strep throat at least four times from the same kid.

Kristin 3 years ago

So true on all of these! Some more snark than others. I’m dead serious about the “don’t send your virus-laden kid to school.” My daughter’s arthritis is triggered by viruses, and while I know I can’t (and shouldn’t) protect her from all germs, intentionally exposing kids to your sick kid has more consequences for some than a runny nose. And why should I have to take days off of work because you thought your busy life was more important than mine?

Grrrrr.

Essie 3 years ago

All good ones.

Here’s one. The parent who thinks their kid is sick when they cough once. Guess what? A few coughs and sniffles don’t stop life as we know it. When you keep your kid from living their life mine thinks when he sneezes on the first day with a high pollen count he has the flu.

Andrea 3 years ago

A to the men on every single one.

TJ 3 years ago

Ive had that problem too. My daughter fractured her spleen when she was 5 and picks up EVERY illness that goes through the school. The school gets mad at me, but when she gets sick she get really sick. I send her and I’m a bad parent for exposing other kids to her. I don’t send her and I am neglectful for not sending her to school. Wish they would make up their minds!!

Kelly 3 years ago

My son had some very wealthy kids in his pre school and there was no way I could even try to compete with the over the top birthday parties. All were catered and most had open bars for the adults cause nothing says “Happy 3rd birthday” more than drunken parents in the bounce house. One party the goody bag they handed out probably cost 40 times what I gave the birthday child as a present! When it was my son’s birthday I did the traditional cake, ice cream, party games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, REASONABLE goody bag and good bye. I told the mega wealthy parents before the party that the theme was “Retro” and they raved about it! Stupid stupid people.

Melissa 3 years ago

I never reply but I find this post very annoying. Who cares what others think and others do. Make your own rules. You owe no one an explanation, especially your kids.

1. Don’t let them play that game. Just say no, it’s easy.
2. You’ll find this at every level from preschool to college – get used to it.
3. Who cares what other people do. Do what you want. You don’t need to explain.
4. Yes, agree.
5. It isn’t an answer at school.
6. See #3.
7. Yes, agree.
8. If you don’t want them to eat the goody bag, don’t let them.
9. Yes, agree.
10. Depends on your definition of overachiever. Who cares.

Kiran@Masala Chica 3 years ago

I feel really bad. I always put a LOT of candy in the goody bags. The kids seem to like me though but maybe that’s why the mommies have been glaring at me?

Oh dear.

Kiran

Sandjie 3 years ago

TThank you soooo much for that! I TOTALLY agree with the sending kids to school/daycare sick…SUCH a pet peeve of mine….Ive actually made comments to parents about doing that…trust me they walked away ashamed…

Rebecca Schorr 3 years ago

Ten dollars?!? That’s outrageous.

Our tooth fairy leaves one gold fairy coin (a Sacajawea $1 coin). The only exception was for the child whose face was the unfortunate landing place for some kid’s feet at one of those horrible inflatable jump places. Two baby teeth were knocked out and two adult teeth were loosened, earning him a soft diet for 4 weeks and some DVDs from the tooth fairy.

Whenever the kids complain, I sigh and tell them that the rate is set by the local tooth fairy union.

Regina 3 years ago

I read these trying to figure out which ones did Jill do. Then it turned into which ones do I hope Jill didn’t do.

Then it was oh Lord, I hope she didn’t do that one.

It does amaze me what parents do sometimes. I need to have tickets to write parents in the parking lot when they violate common courtesies in the parking lot, school ground etiquette. I’m OCD, add me to your list of people to encourage. :)

Ashley 3 years ago

I am a parent, and “because” is not an answer. I believe my child should understand my decisions, so that they can understand how to base their own, future decisions.

I agree with most the rest, though (besides I think it’s sad for the fish) I don’t mind the fish prizes. I think having pets in the home is good for children. And I totally think kids should be able to get wired on sugar and party it up at birthday parties.

Those were some of my best memories as a child, and maybe as a parent they make parenting tougher but it’s worth it to give my child those fun, happy memories.

sunny 3 years ago

ouchies people.. some breathing in and out and walking away maybe nice.. HEADLICE..dear god… whats that sound?..oh its just me thumping my head on the table in frustration… after spending a fortune and having my 2 girls come home again and again and again crawling with full grown lice.. I discovered frontline pet spray – i use it on small animals and that kicks it with a couple of squirts- no one died round here from it! ..or even better olive oil, with a few drops of citronella, lemon and orange essence in it.. cheap, smells ok, and works..I leave it in overnight ..:) mwahahha!
Bratz doll dressers… just Wrong on little girls.. seriously.. theres just no where to go from that style …but you dress your babies and I’ll dress mine.. if I’m paying that kind of money for clothes I like some actual fabric with it to cover my kiddlets! I’m not saying your kids are slappers – I like my kids to look like kids..
and because.. teachers you are welcome to correct my child..its wrong usage of the language..still going to use it ..cos some days I dont have any more words in my head..love ya for teaching them better.
oh and sporty parents yelling at the ref adn the coach and the kids..ugly people..be adults.. you really do suck..support if support not abuse.. love the loud cheering though :)
thanks for the laughs..taking myself off to do stuff that implies I haven’t just spent an hour reading this blog laughing my arse off!- instead of cleaning my house..

sunny 3 years ago

prosti-tots!! BAHAHAHHAHAHA..sigh..
I have two daughters.. so far they think the bratz dolls clothes dont fit very well and feel sorry for them…
so far….

Jeaa Renee 3 years ago

lol, a long time former friend of mine did that with her kids constantly, dumped them on me, didn’t feed them all day, they eat me out of house and home and she didn’t bother to offer compensation.

In that respect she’s a nutter and a mooch, she’s went so far as to leave the kids with me for almost 3 days and not tell me before hand that it isn’t just overnight nor being able to get her to answer the phone, I was ready to call the cops when her oldest tells me she does this all the time. I finally got ahold of the boys’ adult sister to come get them.

zumpie 3 years ago

Oh—P.S. how exactly do you know this? Do you follow children each year and when they’re teens or adults ask them, “so are you turning tricks, now?”.

Also, just curious—if I buy my daughter low riders by accident, is she STILL compelled to a life on the game? Or will she just be a kept woman or super slutty? What will keep my daughter chaste and pure? Mid-rise, high rise, cumberband waistband? Inquiring minds want to know.

Jeaa Renee 3 years ago

I have a neighbor girl (11 yrs old) who’s coming up that way. She dresses too old for her age, stilletto heels and too much make-up that is too dark for someone under 20. I refuse to let my 10 year old near her, and I sure as hell wouldn’t let my daughter around a girl like that. I do feel sorry for the kid, but my kids safety and well-being is more important. and Don’t feel like you’re being a prude. I started homeschooling my 10 year old because I was tired of all the crap he’d bring home from other kids. Things I didn’t want him to know about. Course I had a fit when h came home in 1 st grade complaining about his friends breaking up and getting back together with their Gfs…I was like what the hell happened to kids being kids. Between that, the safety drills for school shootings and 2 different PE teachers being pedophiles. I had enough of public school. But you aren’t wrong to teach your kids to stay away from oversexed peers. and to the chick arguing with you, you must be oblivious to alot of what goes on when parents aren’t around or aware. Kids are sponges and they learn what they see/hear, and with media being what it is, there’s alot out there to soak up you may be totally unaware of. And just because they seem school minded around you and others, doesn’t mean that’s how they are with other kids.

Jeaa Renee 3 years ago

Lol, I love how you assume anyone not loving short shorts is a cow. I didn’t asked what you weighed or where you lived.

Short shorts are sexist no matter wear you live or how hot it gets outside. Skimpy clothing on kids is freaking tacky, and parents that think it’s ok are too.

And it’s been proven, you’re better off covering up from the Sun. Unless you aren’t worried about severe wrinkles and skin cancer later in life.

Arin 3 years ago

You also probably dont live in Phoenix, Az – and my parenting style is AP, crunchy, informed and totally hippie – it’s all within reason. We also look better in shorts above our knees being we are about 105 soaking wet, not 250 nor wear undergarments that need to be hid. She’ll be wearing skirts with tank tops and shorts with a decent appeal, not a hoochie appeal. Thanks – and remember it’s the 11th year anniversary of 9-11 today – let’s be kind especially today!

God Bless YOU!

Jeaa Renee 3 years ago

I’m younger then you and think short shorts look bad on most people, but especially little girls. My 8 month old can wear my tee shirts with a belt when she’s older before I’ll let her wear freaking short shorts. I refuse to give perverts and pedophiles an excuse.

zumpie 3 years ago

Ummm, yeah—because obviously low rider jeans equals prostitution when older (and presumably a thinking being with free will). Again, I’ve never noticed any hooker clothes for girls that young (mom who really likes to shop here). And just because your personal taste runs to the puritanical, doesn’t mean anyone else’s kid is a slut.

Your rant about “protecting” your high school aged sister is more indicative of your paternalistic and sexist views. Absolutely you’re free to dress your daughters as you see fit—but that doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t get that right, as well.

military dad 3 years ago

I noticed it’s all mom’s commenting, but I want you to know that after googling “why children’s fashion is slutty” I came across this and was nodding alot. Bravo parents who still care!

I have two daughters, one just started kindergarten and it’s disgusting there are low rider jeans and low cut shirts and dresses for five year olds. Just putting that out there.

“Because I am the law around here” is my because answer, even my little children don’t question it. So go ahead tell them the single word isn’t an answer.

I noticed a commenter said “so and so’s parents don’t love her like I love you”. Good for you, in the circus that is parenting, if you set the example that “you suck as parents because your kids are bound for the stripper pole” they’ll either take notice or not be needed as associates/friends.

parents who willingly let their kids dress like hookers are going to have hookers for kids. I know the war against slut-attire is a hard fought battle. I had younger sisters, one was a couple grades under me. My friends would comment on how “hot” she was and immediately get socked. My parents… not a clue she was borrowing clothes from her best friend. I wish I could boast putting a stop to my sister’s days of sluttiness, but alas she became a cheerleader (not saying all are, but alot) and the dress code went from sluttish, to full on “buy me nice things and I’ll give you a whirl”. She wasn’t like that, but dressed the part. Stay strong mom’s and dad’s if there are more of us who won’t stand for it, we might just keep our kids in line!

Lastly, baseball dads or screaming soccer moms… ha! Gotta love the over zealous jacktards that do that. Peewee league anything is all about sportsmanship and learning the game. If you can’t show your kid that as a parent then they are bound to be like terrell owens or michael irvin athletes. As a dad though, my appearance can be a bit overwhelming to the screaming mom/dad if I tell them politely to “shut their f’ing mouth” but you have to do it calmly and quietly so only they can hear. Not saying you should be aggressive in anyway, but most people don’t say anything to them, so they keep doing it.

cheers folks, just really glad to know parents still care!

Military dad

Lucille Williams 3 years ago

Love this list! I agree especially the one about sports parents. I would like to add that crazy dance moms top the cake though. Having a son that was on a dance team, I was so happy that I didn’t have to deal with costumes & hair! Some of the moms go crazy! Way too much for me!

Jeaa Renee 3 years ago

On the flip side of that, my son had perfect attendance till two bouts with a chest cold, set 2 weeks apart. It was one of those, he’s not sick enough to go to the doctor, but I didn’t think he should be at school moments. Thinking of how annoying it is as a parent to deal with someone else sending a sick child to school. So I keep him home, he wasn’t vomiting or feverish, just a severe cough and runny nose, stuff that had been going around. So yeah. He maxed out his 10 days and had to have a doctor’s note then on. How do you deal with that, when they aren’t sick enough for a doctor but too sick to be around kids? Incidentally he was sent to school with coughs and leaky nose after that, again just not quite bad enough for the doctor’s office. So not always are parents insensitive assholes hellbent on destroying the happy of others, I swear it!

@ Teacher, love the pros-tit-tot comment. I personally think Toddlers and Tiaras should be banded and their moms brought up on child abuse charges, but that’s just me. My daughter will wear unflattering over sized out of style clothing with long sleeves and button necks if need be, lol.

Jamie 3 years ago

I work at a place that has a high turnover due to parents staying home with sick kids. I am thankful for my MIL who babysits and will take my kids sick or not. Not everybody has this option. I would never send my kids to school with more than a cold, but what are people suppose to do? I wouldn’t have a job if it wasn’t for my MIL. Being a SAHM isn’t an option for everybody.

Taking off work for being sick is also interesting. People get mad at you for calling in, but the very same people get upset if you show up sick. You just can’t win.

Momof4 3 years ago

My children arent the type of kids to turn food down ever lol. Heck they are the kids that prefer veggies over candy any day of the week. I have no idea where they came from since momma has a bad sweet tooth lol

Sasha Moretz 3 years ago

I can’t be a parent like this. It is hard for me doing these things.

Maegan 3 years ago

P.S. My kid has lost several teeth – but only really gotten about 75 cents. First – “tooth fairy” forgets sometimes…Second…about half the teeth have been lost before bedtime.

Tooth fairy rarely has entire dollars to give out anyway. Digging for coins in the car at midnight it it.

Maegan 3 years ago

In reference to # 6 – Don’t worry, I am single-handedly undoing some of the damage for those! My kids don’t even get a party every year. The years they DO get a party…It’s store bought cupcakes & $5 pizza for the kids. I throw it at the park…So I don’t have to think up any games for them to play. The adults? They get fantastic home made chili, cornbread, and a beer (or root beer, if you wanna be the DD). I feel like the parents will appreciate it more than the kids every will. So I am out there…somewhere…giving my kids crappy birthday parties so the parent who one-ups me really doesn’t have to try very hard at all! 😀

Artist19 3 years ago

#3 – I have never had this toothfairy experience in my childhood in Eastern Europe, where I was taught to put tooth either in a plant pot or in a garden outside. When we family moved to Canada where my little brother was born. One day my brother excited showed me his tooth. He asked me “How much do you think my mother will put under my pillow tonight?” I explained about my upbringing and told him: if he gets money, he gets decayed tooth (true, he had decayed uneven teeth while I had healthy even teeth). From then on, he put his tooth in the plant pot or garden every time. I will do the same teaching with my daughter one day (now toddler).

Heather 3 years ago

We went to a four year old’s party where they served Coke. Ridiculous! My daughter knew to ask for water instead. Can you imagine a room full of four and five year olds on a caffeinated sugar high? Insane.

Tiffany 3 years ago

I give my kids $5 for their FIRST tooth and makes sure to tell them it is special because it means you are growing up but that the tooth fairy has a lot of people to take money to so you only get $5 once. Now it is a dollar.

Tiffany 3 years ago

Before I knew what it was like I took my 6 year old daughter in and told her to look around for something she liked. She picked up several things and all of my answers were no so she said “Well is there anything here I can get?” I looked around, said no and we left. Much to her dismay we went to the childrens place. lol

Holly 3 years ago

Amen Trisha, my Nephew worked on his race car for DAYS and was so proud of it and then was heartbroken when he got to church and saw all the ones that were CLEARLY not made by 9 year olds. Then, to add salt in his sweet wounded heart, the asshat parents who judged, gave awards to all the parentmademobiles!

bookgirl 3 years ago

Thank you, Julie! I am in the same boat. Who would have thought that at 9 and 12 I’d be teaching my boys to beware of hookers – in their classrooms??? This isn’t entirely the fault of the miniwhores. It’s the stupid media that pushes sex to sell clothes, hair products, etc., and parents who are too absent to know what’s going on, too ignorant to realize it’s dangerous, or too easily manipulated that they give into the ploys of marketing and their children’s whims. It’s possible as a parent to filter *some* of that crap – but only to an extent. For instance, in my home, I’m kinda weird – we only get Netflix so that we don’t have to watch commercials. But their dad’s, their grandparents, their friends…I can’t be everywhere all the time and neither can anyone else – nor should we be. Part of being 9 and 12 means you have gained some independence. But I’m so angry that my kids’ childhoods are being cheated away from them by manufactures who market inappropriate things to kids at the expense of their innocence. My 12 year old, who still thinks LEGOS and Starwars are cool, is considered a dork because he doesn’t take girls out on dates and spend (supposedly) $200 on them. What crap. I suspect these accounts from the other kids in his class are trumped up, but still, what parent drives their 12-year-old to a restaurant, lets them have a semi-private date and then pays for the whole affair? Why not just marry them off and have them start procreating immediately. Who needs a childhood anyway? Blah.

zumpie 3 years ago

Actually, I found oilve oil (a completely natural remedy) to be the only really effective way to get rid of lice. And this was after we used RID kits several times.

A month’s course of olive oil finally really, really killed them. I know other parents with similar experiences—-one told me their daughter had it recurring for a YEAR until they finally tried olive oil. Their daughter was cured in a week!

Courtney 3 years ago

LICE. OMG. It was such an issue this year at my children’s school. I think the reason they weren’t killed effectively is because people wanted to use natural products instead of chemicals. I’m all for natural, but lice are nasty so kill them!

Megan (Best of Fates) 3 years ago

I think you’re onto something with the concern over charging for body pieces. I know a serial killer who started just that way. And really, once you’ve killed someone, it’s hard to back out even if there are no arm buyers.

Kim 3 years ago

Don’t forget…THE DOCTOR who gives your kid a vaccine shot every time you visit! So when they’re really sick with fever and have a doc appointment, they suddenly have the strength to fight you tooth and nail, certain that they’re going to get poked. And then when it IS time for another vaccine shot, you’re forced to lie just to get them there. “Remember when you were sick and throwing up, you didn’t get a shot that time, did you?!” And it’s not only the crying on the way that you have to deal with, it’s the crying on the way home after they got the shot that you promised them they wouldn’t get. Meanwhile, the doctor has left for home in his BMW.

anna see 3 years ago

Oh yes! I agree with all of these. Still mad that my son missed field day in 2006 b/c my friend sent her son to school w/ strep. Don’t even get me started on lice.

zumpie 3 years ago

While I’m the one more likely to say “yes”, I would love to put a look like that on MIL’s face! Fortunately, I’m a better parent, with a closer relationship to my daughter than either my mom (single mom of three) or my MIL (totally self involved)….so my kid will always take my side, anyway.

Even more irritating though are relatives who don’t have children, but tell you how to parent them. In my case, my child-free brother and sister-in-law LOVE to tell me everything that I do wrong, as well as letting my daughter know how “not good enough” her efforts and interests are.

And then they’ll whine about how she doesn’t want to be close to them.

Ozcat 3 years ago

I can relate to this one. I was out shopping with my MIL and my son, then aged 2. He had been playing up and when we got to the checkout he was whingeing for sweets (candy). I said a firm no. What did MIL do? She picked up the sweets and said “I will get them for you dearie”. I could have strangled her, but instead I maintained my cool and said “No you won’t” and I handed them back to the cashier. The look on MIL’s face was priceless.

Ozcat 3 years ago

OM gosh, I saw Scary Mommy on channel 7 this morning and just had to check out the website. Prostitots and Eskihoes too hilarious.

Mickey Lark 3 years ago

Nice thoughts. Woo to #9.. They just thought of perfect attendance. Very inconsiderate kind of human beings.

Chan 3 years ago

Sorry about the sending the sick kids to school thing…:( I’m Active Duty and one day my son was soo sick snot was just flowing down his nose like a river. Took him to the Doc and she goes oh he’s fine, it’s just a cold no reason for him not to attend school. And for me no note= going to work. Just saying that I have a sick kid isn’t enought to actually keep him home. And the only way I’m doing so is if he has higher than a 101.1 fever or has the runs. :(

thecamperqueen 3 years ago

Can we add the “Look at my child! Look how much more wonderful, smart, and perfect she is than yours. Look at HER!!!” parent? These moms insist their children be the class pets, have the most pictures in the yearbook and offer to have their child (with lower grades) come over and tutor yours.

Becca 3 years ago

OMG I flipping hate Justice. The only thing missing from that store is the pole!

jessi 3 years ago

I am unfortunately one of those sports parents…..my husband actually banned me from my stepsons soccer games because of how I got….I hate it but I can’t help it….lol

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

And yet who makes you laugh.

Rebecca Schorr 3 years ago

That’s brilliant!!

Noisy toys come from two kind of people: those who don’t have kids or those who don’t like you.

Rebecca Schorr 3 years ago

You are just so difficult.

Chrissy 3 years ago

I understand that in many households there is no one there to take care of the children that end up coming home sick… Where I live you would not believe how many parents send sick children to school on a daily basis. Before my kids went to school, they were rarely sick. Once they started school- it has been non stop! Thank goodness we have not had a lice outbreak yet. (knock on wood!) But I am dreading the day. Sigh,… I just want to curl up on the couch with a bottle of Jose Cuervo and some smokes, and not have to worry about it!

Shell 3 years ago

I’m all for being the mediocre mom.

Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom 3 years ago

How about the moms who bring their kids over for a playmate, don’t say a thing while the kids ransack your house, walk in the house without knocking, open your fridge and take out what they want and then they leave and don’t offer to help clean up? When they leave I take two Aleve and a shot of vodka and I don’t call her in the morning.

Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom 3 years ago

You’re right. I didn’t mean to harsh on all teachers. I’ve just had a long year with just this one.

Susan 3 years ago

It couldn’t possibly be because the school system is so broken that it doesn’t allow the teachers to do their jobs properly. I’m sure you volunteer all the time to help in the classroom so you know exactly what goes on. Glad you’re on top of that!

Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom 3 years ago

I’d like to nominate someone for this list: the teacher who ran out of time during the school year to effectively teach all the kids their math lessons SO SHE SENDS THEM HOME OVER MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. Nice. Nice.

Jessica 3 years ago

#4 makes me INSANE. I went to a high school banquet for my daughter the other day and it was one of those times that I was thrilled that she has autism because she would never dream of a minidress that barely covers her underwear. I can’t believe girls are dressing this way and that their parents actually let them. I would be embarrassed to head out with my daughter looking that way.

Mark S. Strecker 3 years ago

Parenting is a career, and every parent must succeed for the benefit of the child.

Taremi 3 years ago

I hope my kids can be trusted to dress themselves by the time they’re 24.

Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com 3 years ago

Reading this list, I kept thinking “Nope, that’s not me. Nope, not that, either.” But darned if I don’t know people who are JUST like this!

And then I got to #10. *cough*

Time to drink.

Rebecca Schorr 3 years ago

What is particularly annoying is that your list is so accurate that I am able to actually call to mind an actual face of an actual person to go with each type you listed.

And I bet I’m not the only one…

Kerrie McLoughlin 3 years ago

How about those parents who invite your kid someplace really awesomely cool … before asking you … and it turns out you all have other plans and your kid can’t go. Not cool.

Erin@MommyontheSpot 3 years ago

There is a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, that wears a bikini with a triangle top and tie bottoms to swim class. Now my 6 year old wants one, too.

Don’t get me started about sick kids at school.

Kimberly 3 years ago

Well, I have been known to exaggerate just a tad….relax…haven’t had a pet here other than the dog since the male hamsters who had babies.

Anne (@notasupermom) 3 years ago

And parents who “help” with the science fair project, etc.
A standard 4th-grade project here is an A to Z state scrapbook the kids work on all year.
My kids did his all by himself and it looked like a piece of garbage next to the other “kids'” projects. You can tell who scrapbooks.
Still, I was proud of him earning that C all by himself. He really learned a lot about checking the details of a big project.

Practical Parenting 3 years ago

#9 is ruining my life! Seriously, I don’t want to have suck kids at home either…so please keep yours home!

zumpie 3 years ago

Instead of throwing the toy away, why not either

1) let your kid keep it, if they still want it (instead of sneakily throwing it away)?

2) Donate it to Good Will or give it to a less fortunate kid? Or your school’s carnival or something?

Good Enough Mom 3 years ago

Along with number 8…the goodie-bag-givers…let’s add the party throwers who give out crappy toxic plastic “toys” from China that won’t biodegrade for about a million years…and it also takes just about that long to throw them out without your child noticing (you know, into the landfill where they’ll remain until your great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren die).

catharine 3 years ago

LOL! Stumbled on this blog & it’s cracking me up!!!! @Susan, you sound like me! My daughter is almost 30 & I’m a grandmother. I used to say the same things to her when she was little! Sometimes I’d even say things like “If Mary’s parents are so great why don’t you just pack your little Hello Kitty backpack that I bought you after you pleaded with me that ‘everyone elses moms bought THEM a Hello Kitty packpack… yes, the one you NEVER wear anymore because it is ‘sooo last week’…. pack that f*ckin’ thing with all the clothes, toys, & shoes I’ve bought you over the years & go move in with Mary’s parents! See how long THEY put up with your whinging!” LOL!!! Now she says the same things to my grandson. And it still works!!!

New Lisa 3 years ago

That’s my line as well. I tell my kids I do what I think is best and I’m learning as I go. Everyone makes rules that work for their family, and since each family is different, each family’s rules are different.

Lynn from For Love or Funny 3 years ago

Oh, boy. I so agree with # 9. For the first three years of my kids’ school lives, I’d send them to school healthy and they’d come home sick. Thank you, parents who send their kids to school sick.

Mel 3 years ago

My daughter had a silver crown put on one of her teeth when she was 6 years old. The dentist told her that it will be exciting when it falls out years later because “silver princess crowns” are worth more money to the tooth fairy. Thanks a lot, dentist. Where was the dentist when my daughter turned 9 and the tooth fell out?!?!

Joan 3 years ago

A friend shared a tooth fairy secret that dealt with this different cash amounts perfectly- I loved it. She told me that the tooth fairy pays by weight, of course. That other kid must have had one HUGE tooth to get that much! I also love the different fairies on different routes too. :)

Christina Baglivi Tinglof 3 years ago

Too good. Totally complete.

Carlos Madho 3 years ago

Brilliant post. These are valid points. I hope I don’t face too many problems raising my child.

-Carlos

Kimberly 3 years ago

Yeah…the goldfish will live just long enough for you to invest $50 in a bowl, rocks, fake plants, and flaky fish food. Then it’ll go belly up because it’s not used to living in a clean environment.

It’s a racket, I tell ya!

mjhighroad 3 years ago

Wow – you are scary – I’m sure I’m guilty of at least one of these.

Shannon 3 years ago

OMG! Perfectly said . . . again! I’m still holding a grudge against the girl who gave my daughter lice! And don’t even get me started on dressing your kids like whores!

zumpie 3 years ago

Okay, I only partially agree with the list:

I’m actually okay about the goldfish—buy a little bowl, sprinkle some flakes and you’re pretty much done. Of course, I’d be thrilled with a kitty or puppy as a prize (and feed stray kitties that prowl around my yard), so you should consider the source.

Except for vile pageant wear, I don’t see all THAT much prosti-tot clothing—including at Justice. Now Justice’s clothes are ugly, a bit glittery and expensive, but they don’t offend me. And for the record, my daughter wears primarily American Girl stuff, so she always looks like a lady.

I am fully and completely guilty of being the best party thrower at my daughter’s school. I used to be a catering director and I enjoyed it. BTW, it’s frequently not much more expensive to have a party at the pool/bowling center/amusement park than it is to buy all the paper goods, etc and do it at home.

I’m not going to hop your kid up on sugar, but we will have cake and soda. And guess what? While you might’ve bought ONE gift as a guest (and brought your kid over), I spent a ton of $$$ and time planning this thing. Cake and b’days go together. Be grateful I’m also watching your child for a couple of hours and spending MY $$$ to entertain them at the pool/bowling center/amusement park.

I do agree about the sports parents and competitiveness, though. I always find it hilarious that every other parent on every blog has a straight A, star athlete, ultra popular perfect child who LOVES doing chores. Maybe in your fantasy world that’s your kid…..

And with sports parents—-we’re non-athletic and that’s precisely what I’m happy to not deal with.

Heidi Bryan 3 years ago

So true…my daughter is having a birthday party this weekend. She is turning three. A fellow mommy asked me what the “theme” I had picked for her party. I said “I don’t know. Princesses, burgers, and beer??” It is kind of a memorial day party as well :) I think she was a little shocked

zumpie 3 years ago

I had one very neglectful mom not only drop her daughter off THREE HOURS EARLY for a sleep over, but didn’t bother to feed her breakfast or lunch. As soon as the door shut, the kid begged me for food. But that particular mom was kinda dysfunctional.

It’s also possible the parents in question simply had food your kid didn’t care for—so your kid didn’t eat. I can’t imagine ANY kid over all day at my house and NOT requesting food.

Tracy Larson 3 years ago

Too funny! #10 Sports Parents is hilarious. Last weekend an umpire and a parent got into a stare down over a strike being called a ball. Wow…It’s a game, aren’t “games” supposed to be fun?

Ann Joy 3 years ago

I agree with the “If your child barfs it’s a 24hr dissmisil.” BUT, my son has a stomach issue and he will be sent home to go to the Dr’s upon nurses request and comes out of the appt with a good bill of health. I swear we are sent to his Dr. every freaking week. For anything. Yes, sometimes he is sick but most of the time the teacher could piss him off enough he will get sick. I could go on and on about this freaking school. (He is autistic and deaf)

Dara Dokas 3 years ago

This is a hilarious list! And so true. I HATE the lice and sick kid parent behavior the most!

Rainyday 3 years ago

Awesome! I usually lump them all in as whorelettes, but prostitots and eskihoes seem more PC to me.

Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom 3 years ago

How about the parents of young children who buy them ridiculously expensive electronic devices and then let them take them to school so your kids will then hit you with “but so n so has an iPad and he’s 7…”

CJ 3 years ago

No, sorry, I can’t tell you how to stop time or manage your children, that’s your job as a parent. I can tell you that older children and teenagers deserve more of a reason than “because.” Does your boss accept “because” as an answer to the question “Why were you two hours late today?” I can be pretty certain that your boss will not accept that as an answer. Just because you hold a position of authority over someone does not mean that they are less than you, and should be treated as such. As for your example of 4 kids that you can’t seem to get on the same page and have teach them some semblance of indoor behavior, I’d say that’s a “your problem.” If you can’t handle having that many kids, then maybe try, oh I don’t know, NOT having that many kids? Seems fairly logical to me. Also, here is another pro tip if you are overwhelmed by all of those kids asking those questions and doing potentially physically dangerous things all at the same time: try prioritizing. Talk to the kids who are going to hurt themselves the worst first. That usually works pretty well. Also, please, do try to learn the difference between someone offering an opinion, and someone claiming to be an expert, I never claimed that I was an expert in parenting. I had an opinion and I shared it. You got offended. That’s another “your problem.” Let’s try this one on for size. I won’t make another response if you throw another sarcastic reply out to this one. You are simply not worth any more of my time. You think you know everything, just as you accuse me of thinking. It is apparent that you don’t know everything, it is equally apparent that I do not know everything, and never will. Like I said, stop trolling forums and trying to start fights. I was only looking to share my opinion as others were, so I did. You decided that I was wrong and had to share your opinion as well. Kudos. Now that that is established, perhaps we can move on to something a trifle more productive, shall we? Have a WONDERFUL day Jack, and btw, I hope all of your children, hypothetical or not, are safe, and know that their father obviously cares for them enough to teach them why they shouldn’t do certain things, and why they should do others.

Susan 3 years ago

I. adore. you. 😀 Beastly creatures…lol So true, isn’t it? I absolutely love my daughter. I love my best friend’s three kids. That’s kind of where it ends. 😀

Glad to know I’m not alone.

Unless you were just being funny. Hmmm…..In that case, I still don’t like most of the beastly little things. LOL

heather 3 years ago

you forgot the people that make dolls for little girls dressed like hookers. not just the bratz dolls. celebrities that “accidentally” release sex tapes to get more publicity. the crazy-ass room mother that thinks any kind of assistance is stepping on their toes. pediatricians and other “experts” that don’t have kids.

Ruth 3 years ago

For the most part, I’m with you on this (especially goldfish and elaborate birthday parties – my kid was handed a goldfish with her goodie bag at one of those stupid over-the-top birthday parties)…but…

1) Yeah, I kept my sick kid home, and then I started getting threatening letters from the school because she missed four days. She had influenza, a high fever and I even took in copy of the doctor visit on day two, and they still sent me nasty notes. You tell me which to choose – your kid getting sick, or a visit from the school cops.

2) Yeah, I gave your kid cake at the end of the party. Who wants ten kids on a sugar high throughout the entire party? They’re already horrid enough. Beastly creatures.

alex 3 years ago

The ice cream truck at the play ground right before dinner is my worst enemy.

Corey Feldman 3 years ago

Great list! I am with you on all of them!

D 3 years ago

Ugh, I’m guilty of the sick kid one, but like igaudet says… I work. I use up my sick days (3 a YEAR… Whose kids are only sick three days out of a year? And these count for me as well so let’s pray to the illness gods that I am not sick at all in a damn year… Yeah. Right) taking care of the kids. My paid time off and vacation are one in the same so if I call off I use up my vacation time too. I don’t get “personal” days or any other time off. So exactly what am I supposed to do when I provide my child’s livelihood? I try to gauge how sick they truly are and hope for the best. I’m sorry if you are pissed off at me, but maybe you’d like to find me a job that actually cares when I have a sick child at home! Until then, yes I will send my kid to school with a cold or having thrown up the night before because, frankly, we don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m relieved when they get sick on a Friday because that means I have the entire weekend to tend to them!

Oh. And while I’m at it. Fuck goldfish. And over the top birthday parties. Why? Because I said so.

Cassie 3 years ago

I’m a middle school teacher, which means I see each and every one of these parents throughout the year. Conferences are the worst! The droves of parents that want to come in, wasting my time, to hear that their child is a great student and individual. They never leave! I’m not here to bring up your (maybe that of your child, but not your) self esteem, I’m here to talk to parents whose children really need support.

Ivona 3 years ago

A day long play date. Eeek! I would loose my mind.

I made the rule of an afternoon, or if it’s a sleep over coming late in the afternoon and calling your parents to pick you up after breakfast. That’s long enough

Although we had a situation of kids being dropped off for a birthday party and not being picked up on time and the parents were unreachable. Needless to say, they didn’t get an invitation next time around.

Ivona 3 years ago

Schools here will call for replacement clothing or if it’s high school send the kid home to change.

Ivona 3 years ago

THANK YOU! I am so sick of the cell phone fight. -No, you do not need one in 6th grade especially after you just lost a $60 watch you got for Christmas within weeks.-

Ugh.

Ivona 3 years ago

Shimmery leggings doesn’t translate to hookers, does it? That’s seems like stretching it a bit.

I love getting my daughter all sorts of legging, shimmer included, because she wears them underneath skirts and dresses. It’s the whole outfit that matters not just one item of clothing in it.

Don’t get me started on “bikinis”

Ivona 3 years ago

A lot of parents these days treat school as “daycare” for the kids, but that is at least in part because the system lets them. As someone said, the school caves in the end.

Yeah I get that numbers don’t work and stuff like that, and maybe it’s just that it’s a public school so parent think they own it and everyone in it. I do think a lot of administrators just pick their battles, we use to have a bunch of kids spending their “school day” at the clinic because they were pulled out of the classroom sick or with lice, but the parent never showed up to pick them up.

Molly Logan Anderson 3 years ago

Love it! So very true!!

Xtinews 3 years ago

I remember when my son lost his first tooth (preschool) and brought the quarter he got to “share time” one of the dads said out loud “a quarter? You gave him a quarter? What you couldn’t find a penny?”

Sabrina A. Fish 3 years ago

Hahaha! My son has yet to lose that first tooth, but I don’t think I have to worry. Though he has talked about his friends getting $5, he still loves quarters. So he’ll probably get a couple of those and be happy.

Sharon 3 years ago

I love this site because I can just remember how it was, lol Some of you Mommies just crack me up and I so can use a good laugh now and then. I have my 2 year old great-grandson living with us and for his second birthday my granddaughter bought him a cake, some Diego balloons and we went to the playground at McDonalds. He could have cared less about the stuff he just love “playing” with his small friends and being at the playground. We usually give bubbles for thank you gifts. My granddaughter just had her 5th bd party at the park and her Mom had no sweets, just healthy foods. Not sure about goodie bags because I was sick and couldn’t go. For her birthday I gave her a five dollar bill in her card (she was 5) and will increase it each year another dollar. I also gave her Mom some extra money to buy something she “needs”. For my granddaughter in CO I sent her $3 in her bd card and a check for her Mom to get her something “needed”. The cost of shipping is so damn much this is just a better way to handle it.
I hate fish no matter where they come from, hubby loves them.
My 5 year old granddaughter’s Mother is very, very strict on how she can dress so I don’t have to worry about her ever being in anything skimpy. Pretty sure the same for my 3 year old GD also.
Again enjoyed all your comments.

Laura Menard 3 years ago

I combated the “so and so’s mom lets them do it” a long time ago with “different parents have different rules” and my daughter is 8 now and when I say it to her she shrugs and says “oh yeah” and is happy with that answer. lol

Chris @ CleverFather 3 years ago

10$?!? Holy cow! Are these teeth or gold nuggets?

lgaudet 3 years ago

Sick kids at school are the bane of my existence. As much as we all want to send the virus back where they got it, and they got it at school, there’s just too damned many of them (viruses) and it’s not fair to the kid.

Too bad there aren’t alternatives for working parents. You use up your sick days tending sick kids, trying to save vacation days for doctors, dentists, etc, end up using those too, and then end up having to send the kids to school sick anyway (while feeling like a total turd of a parent knowing how crappy the kid feels) because you have to keep your job.

Then the whole neighborhood’s mad at you and everyone at work is mad at you for coming to work sick because you don’t dare use a sick day on yourself just because you feel like you’re dying because you need them all for your kids.

Maddy 3 years ago

Omfg! Pros-ti-tots is my new favorite word! Holy crap that is
hi-Freaking-larious!

Karin 3 years ago

Prosti-tots and Eski-hoes!!!
“Diva” or Princess” shirts already get my blood boiling. As for the writing on the bum, only a baby can get away with “Juicy Couture” across her butt…

Erika 3 years ago

Problem with that is there is no way to prove it. Unless the school sends the kid home, they can’t keep them from coming back. I teach and I hate when kids come to school sick…they can’t function and they distract others around them if only with concern that they are next. Heck, I get worried I’ll carry it home to my own kids.

CSmith 3 years ago

My kids went to a carnival and won a RABBIT. I let them play because nobody ever wins those games, right? Yea, right. That rabbit started out as big as a hamster and weighs over 12 pounds now and I had to go buy a $100 cage for him. My daughter got some hand-me-downs from a friend and the undies say “eye-candy” on the butt. Seriously!? They’re 7, for God’s sake.

mandy 3 years ago

My kids school (other side of the world) doesn’t send a “Your kid has cooties!” note but they do send a full page letter stating a kid in the class has lice. It includes instructions on how to check your kid, best prevention methods, how to kill them and even what is the best product at our chemist.

mandy 3 years ago

I’m a ‘positive’ crazy sports mum too! I’m loud and will yelling positive incouragement to my kid and the rest of the team (I even cheer if someone on the other team is awesome). I would never be negative at the ref, other team, parents or players. Thats just wrong.

mandy 3 years ago

My mum-in-law is like you. She is awesome, I love her. She always asks what the kids want or need. She will offer advice but never make a big deal if I don’t agree or follow it. If I broke up with her son she would most likely blame him :)

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

CJ,

Some people might say that a troll is someone who “walks” onto a blog and proclaims that they know more than everyone else. But I wouldn’t dare suggest that to someone who can use words like etymology because only someone really smart would possibly know what that word means.

Furthermore if we really wanted to play this game I would suggest that we need to come to a consensus as to what age child you are referring to in your initial remarks in which you suggested that proper parenting requires explaining to our children why we made a particular decision.

Of course I am only asking this because made it clear that specifics are necessary. So I would like to follow this line of thought further.

Let’s say that child number one is trying to slide down the banner on the staircase while child number two asks if they can take a knife to cut some fruit.

Meanwhile child number three calls out from the other room that they would like to watch this great show called Sexy Time.

Because of your expertise in parenting I am sure you will be able to explain how to stop time so that we can explain to each child exactly why they can or cannot engage in said their respective activities because if we don’t they’ll clearly be scarred for life and incapable of rational thought or action.

I love experts, they are so very smart and cool.

mandy 3 years ago

I have never come across that.
Who on earth doesn’t feed a kid?

mandy 3 years ago

$10…!?! Wow!
I’ve told my kids that our toothfairy believes in saving your money so they get a dollar.

mandy 3 years ago

It’s even harder as they get older. For my 7yo and 6yo I buy one ‘treat’ snack a fortnight, normal a 8 pk of muesli bars or those ‘Fruit’ tangles so thats 4 days in 10 they get a junk snack. If they whine about what it is they miss out next fortnight.

Jules 3 years ago

Teachers hate when parents don’t treat lice effectively too. And I apologize on behalf of all teachers for the ‘because’ thing.

CJ 3 years ago

Your fictional etymology doesn’t deserve more of a response than this. Here’s my advice to you: stop trolling on the internet, you are degrading the intelligence of people the globe over. Also, might as well add this: one doesn’t use words in their historical context, one uses them in their contemporary context. Anyone who has two brain cells to beat together can manage that particular conclusion.

mandy 3 years ago

I go a little over the top for the 5th birthday. I love doing it too. Don’t care what others think, starting school is an important mile stone.

mandy 3 years ago

Thats disgusting!

mandy 3 years ago

Mine is “I don’t give a flying fig what Janie is allowed to do. You aren’t so get use to it.”

mandy 3 years ago

I accidently sent my son to school sick. He had been faking it (not for the first time) the day before because his sister had a tummy bug. I was expecting him to get it but he looked fine and was playing that morning but every now and again would say he had a sore tummy. So I sent him to school. Yeah…oops…had to pick him up at 10am because he threw up during morning tea. I felt bad so kept him home for 2 days to be sure he was all better.

Leta 3 years ago

Oh, NUMBER TWO!!!! We are in the middle of softball season, so, yeah.

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

Elucidate comes from the Middle English word Eluwdicriate which was used by the Court Jester to announce to the court that they were a silly fool. So actually when you use the word you are saying that you are a silly fool.

Not to go off on a history lesson but as it evolved over time it was only used when by the speaker to acknowledge that their comments weren’t based upon fact or reason. They were simply silly statements.

So if we take your use in its historical context I am not really supposed to take it seriously which leads us back to our initial spot which says that you are wrong for the simple reason of “because.”

JessieBee 3 years ago

Can I add mother-in-laws and their fussy “your doing it wrong, here it should be like this” ways?! You’ve had your turn- move over grandma!! This can also apply to your own parent…

CJ 3 years ago

No, please elucidate. “Because” tells me nothing at all, so in essence, you have no reason. Simple fact.

Shirley@motivatedmommyoftwo 3 years ago

I love this post

Jennifer 3 years ago

I hate Justice. I wish someone would drop a bomb on that store.

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

CJ,

Thank you for your opinion. You are wrong. Want to know why?

Because.

The Mommy Psychologist 3 years ago

#11. The mothers who name their children the most ridiculous names on the planet. Names which ensure they will end up in therapy.

A few months back I met a 3 year old girl whose full legal name was Princess. I wish I was kidding. I talk about the experience here:

http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/03/03/princess-on-the-playground/

Keisha 3 years ago

My 11 year old daughter is so pissed because she does not have access to the internet OR a cell phone. For one, I don’t think she is old enough, and for two, I think she needs to have a job to pay for it herself if she wants it. In my opinion, kids today are too entitled. I was 19 before I had a cell phone. I don’t necessarily plan to make them wait THAT long, but 11 is still too young if you ask me. Hell, they can’t keep Christmas toys past April, so I am damn sure not giving them expensive electronics to tear up. LOL

Jeni Kramer 3 years ago

Right on to all of them – especially #4! Can we place a moratorium on teen girls wearing the sweatpants with writing on the ass? Who told Victoria’s Secret that they were allowed to take out ad space on the bums of America’s youth? Unless you get a check for royalties, in which case, college fund?! Okay, maybe not….

Anjie @ Of Pandas and Pirates 3 years ago

I know not all are evil, mine used to be good but now she is driving me CRAZY! Can you give her a call and give her some tips?!?! 😉

Arin 3 years ago

I also have a 10 month old daughter. I’m ok with the short shorts..is it because I’m 33?

Frederica Huxley 3 years ago

50 odd years ago, my mother’s stock answer to ‘ so-and-so does such-and-such’ was ‘well, that’s exactly why you won’t be doing it’. Drove me nuts, but I found myself saying the same to my boys!

Jenn 3 years ago

This cracked me up…and particularly #7, as here in the UK, the schools are not ALLOWED to send home a note that says “your kid has lice, don’t send them back until it has been treated” because it is considered discrimination.

Really?

It is endless at our school. *scratches head* My husband never gets them, but I’ve had them 5 times since moving here – never once while I was in school myself.

My sister introduced me to Justice on our last trip home when she gave my daughter THE hoochiest outfit I’ve ever seen on a 6 year old. Can’t wait to move home to that next year.

Arin 3 years ago

OMG Justice Clothing! My step-daughter (her real mom sucks of course) just cant get enough of Justice clothing!! BUT she doesn’t pick out the skimpy slutty clothes she picks out all of the FUGLY weird neon color clothes from my junior high years and I just want to faint an die. We also live in Phx, Az and the shorter the better for the summer….its just something for us not so pros-ti-tots (lmao) to get use too. It’s legs and shorts — that are in style — just like skinny jeans — just make her wear a long lengthed tank top so her belly stays covered….the least we can do is help direct our girls to keep they’re legs crossed and bend correctly like the long dressed days in the oldtimer days :) lol

Barbara 3 years ago

Oh and whatever happened to a quarter for a tooth and dollar for a molar? I’m not that old and that’s what it was when I was growing up.

Barbara 3 years ago

I’m guilty of #6 to a small degree… I love entertaining and artsy type stuff, but I’m a technology consultant and NEVER get to do that kind of stuff. So, I do tend to be going a little overboard now that I can because I have a kid and an excuse to. :) I try not to do 8 though.

9 drives me crazy, my issue is daycare not school, but still… they send their sick kid in, then my kid gets sick, then I get sick… grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Arin 3 years ago

OMFG hilarious – thank you Teacher 😉

Erin 3 years ago

Isn’t it odd. . . That all the poor kids problems seem to come back to ” PARENTS”
Let yourself off the hoook people, Someone raised you that way too. WASN’t ME I was and always have been for the kid. . . So I wonder HOW my Child managed to become a parent that portrays Being a parent such a chore ~ Love her to death and her kids ~ BUT . . . The Problem is she also made the choice to move a thousand miles away from the Family that ALWAYS A-L-W-A-Y-S passed the kids off to someone else at least once or twice a week for fun with their kids! and sometimes it was neighbors kids. If the Rules have Changed, Its You that changed them. ~<;o}

Bri 3 years ago

Not all mother in laws are evil. mine is awesome & I am one too. I try to be very respectful of their marriages, ask what would be appropriate or what the grandkids need before purchasing. While I may offer an opinion (and leave it at that ) once in awhile, I never try to be a know it all but a good friend instead.

Karen K 3 years ago

# 3 the rich toothfairy–baaahahah. Just today I pulled a loose molar out of my 10 yr old daughter’s (youngest of 6) mouth and she said, “Can I just through this away?” I said, “Yes, absolutely. The tooth fairy wasn’t going to come anyway.” heh heh heh

#7 parents who don’t affectively kill lice. OH DEAR GOD!!!! I want to _____ one particular parent over this on going problem. And I am bitter as well!!! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

dysfunctional mom 3 years ago

#2 is my DAD. I had to stop telling him when my kids’ games are going on. When he does come, I immediately start apologizing in advance to everyone I see. So.embarassing!!
I embrace the hell out of mediocre. I think I squeezed it so hard it farted.

Keia 3 years ago

Beth, you are awesome.

Rebecca 3 years ago

Thank you, thank you for this! This list should be put in all those diaper bags that are given out at the hospital when you give birth, because a lot of those folks turn into the parents you have just described!! I once went to a kid’s party were the parent actually put fishbowls on the tables as centerpieces, so of course all the kids (including my own) were battling over who got to take the fish home (thankfully we didn’t win). And seriously people, this summer when your kid comes home from camp, GO FOR A LICE CHECK!! We had so many infestations at our school this year; some parents are totally clueless! Whew, I feel better!

Keia 3 years ago

Arnebya, love it!

Keia 3 years ago

Hey! that’s me…I’ve gotta make up for my other slacker parenting moments somehow. Okay, really I’m not that bad…but I do like to send extra special things to school on my sons birthday for him and the other kids.

Wendy 3 years ago

#9 is for the ones trying to achieve the perfect attendance award. Right?

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

Man oh man, we are planning my son’s Bar Mitzvah now and I am thankful that he will be among the first of friends and family. Should save me some grief.

Karen 3 years ago

The sniffles is one thing. Having vomited the night before is another. And when you have little kids, it’s going to go around the entire class and then to you. Don’t people want their kids to be home when they feel bad? That’s what I don’t get. Think about the kids.

Lice? I’m bitter too. I’ve now found a smelly preventive spray.

angelica 3 years ago

a-men

Denise Malloy 3 years ago

These are all so true – but you forgot the room mom who throws the over the top classroom parties and makes us mere mortal moms feel bad. I’ve embraced my inner – slacker parent, I’m much happier.

Mom0f4 3 years ago

I’ve stopped letting my kids go over for play dates to certain peoples homes because of this. Happens a lot more often than you think. Parents want play dates because it keeps their child out of their hair. Who cares if they eat or not. If I were you i’d ask my child next time they go for a play date. lol

Arnebya 3 years ago

Also, our tooth fairy is a lazy, forgetful heifer. If she bothers to remember, you will be lucky to get some change, b/c she’ll write your ass an i.o.u. in a minute.

Beth 3 years ago

My son considers me the meanest mom on the planet. I don’t send candy or toys home. Crayons, markers (washable, of course) folders, last year blank comic books the kids could illustrate to their hearts’ content. Yeah, I’m that mom and proud of it :)

Beth 3 years ago

Yup. We told our son that the first lost tooth is a really, really big deal. He got $5. When he lost his second tooth: $1. It’s the going rate and that’s that. He’s totally good with it, which is nice.

Arnebya 3 years ago

Totally w/you on the dressing like whores. IT AIN’T CUTE FOR YOU OR YOUR FUCKING CHILD TO HAVE JUICY ACROSS YOUR ASS. I have never EVER given candy at a party. Sure, my kids get pissed that their friends are going home w/Craisins, but MY friends, their mothers, are happy as hell.

shanan 3 years ago

OMG, the lice! I was actually looking at the parents picking up their kids at school and wondering …..who is it?!

Amy 3 years ago

My daughter goes to high school in Mesa, the girls don’t follow the dress code. Jr high was really good about dress coding them but the High school doesn’t care what the kids wear at all. I wish we could keep the hairspray and perfumes out of the classrooms, my daughter has an asthma attack almost every day in her English class from perfume. I have talk to the school with no follow up.

Sunburntspot 3 years ago

Haha! 4 and 7 yes! Regarding 10… The braggarts who are always fishing for compliments, oohs and ahhhs from other people and hoping to start a “my kid is so awesome and brilliant” bidding war. Nice one.

shanan 3 years ago

That is seriously strange..

Dani 3 years ago

Ha. Tell her to get launched into the party via space shuttle.

Keia 3 years ago

Wow. Sure can’t and I won’t…however, my mom might try.

Keia 3 years ago

lol.

Keia 3 years ago

This is great.
I’m really not feeling the mini hookers, obnoxious sports parents, the people who want to send my kid home wired from parties, and those who lack proper lice removal techniques & notification of lice! It’s all just wrong.

Sweety Darlin 3 years ago

I have one!

The parent that gives their kids really expensive fast high performance cars when they turn 16 and never taught them to actually drive first.

These people buy their kids cars we buy ourselves when we get our kids out of the house, then when the kid wrecks the car because she or he is a moron and doesn’t understand the power of that vehicle they buy the child another expensive car. So when exactly is that child going to learn how to behave in an automobile?

CJ 3 years ago

In regards to #5, all of you parents who use this, try thinking through your reasoning and articulating it. Provided your reason isn’t as complex as quantum physics, your child can and will understand you. They may not like your reason, but you will be teaching them to have real reasons for the things that they do. The single word “because” is not an answer to anything, nor is the answer “because I said so.” It irritates me that parents use these responses as answers. Teach your children to be articulate, to have reasons for the things that they do, and to be answerable for those reasons.

Personally, I hate it when teachers share their opinion as fact. When I was in the first grade – years and years ago – my teacher told our class that all hunters are evil. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, this is not something to say to a 6 year old child whose parents hunt. My parents didn’t hunt for sport. They hunted to put meat on the table (we were very poor, and couldn’t afford very much; we grew our own vegetables and my parents hunted for venison to provide meat for the year. My response as a 6 year old to this was to ask my parents, in tears, why they were evil for hunting. Opinions for things such as abortion, homosexuality, religion and many others are not in the purview of teachers to share. A person’s views on this should be dictated by them personally, and never put out into a classroom as fact. Especially in an elementary school setting.

Phyllis 3 years ago

RE: #4, the correct term is PROSTI-TOT! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Tammy 3 years ago

PHEW! Thankfully I AM NOT ANY of these! LOL

christie 3 years ago

Exactly, all phone are disconnected or the child doesn’t know their number because it is changed so often.

christie 3 years ago

:)

christie 3 years ago

bahahahaha eski-hos
my husband will like that one, he HATES uggs with shorts.
love it!

Dani 3 years ago

Wait, why is it a problem that a family I know rode into the Bar Mitzvah on an elephant? You can’t follow that up?

Julie 3 years ago

With my older child we were the first Bar Mitzvah. Everyone was pleased, grateful and relieved that we set the bar low. Really low. I considered it my own mitzvah for Jewish parents everywhere – particularly in our neighborhood.

Michelle 3 years ago

Okay, I’m “crazy sports mom” but I only cheer on the team – I don’t yell at the refs or any of the players. I am loud and the only parent doing this. I’m waiting for the day when my 8yo or 4yo tell me to shut the hell up. Can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet.
At least I’m involved & not talking or texting on my cell phone during my kid’s game! :)

Michelle 3 years ago

That’s exactly what I do! It has effectively put a stop to noisy toys!

Anjie @ Of Pandas and Pirates 3 years ago

Amen to all of the above. Can we put mother-in-laws on here too?

Elaine 3 years ago

Oh man, been there with the tooth fairly B.S. for sure! We were in the ped’s office and some little girl was going on to my son about how she got $20 for her first tooth! Insanity.

Kristen Mae 3 years ago

Jeez, you took the freakin words right out of everybody else’s brain and organized them so that we knew what we were really thinking. Thanks! lol

Mom0f4 3 years ago

LOL you sound like me. I also tell them well sorry honey you didn’t win the cool parents you got stuck with us.Or the one that makes me sound like our parents ( which I hate ) well you live in my house with my rules if you lived there i’m sure you could..wow that sucks for you huh? lol

Rachael 3 years ago

Yes! Noisy toys and messy toys. My mother was obsessed with the idea of giving my son finger paints when he was 3. I told her she could only do that if he could use them at her house. For some reason she never followed through on her threat. My husband’s mother is the noisy toy giver. And we definitely either leave those toys at her house or at least bring them over whenever we visit!

Janeen 3 years ago

I totally agree with you and I agree too that there are a lot of jobs that basically make you choose between your kids and your job. I’ve seen it a few times now and I’m sure it’s gotten worse with the lousy economy we currently have. Just happened to remember that though actually the funny thing with that was my mom was actually more prone to keep us out of school than she was to send us to school sick. lol She would would be in SO much trouble if she had kids in school this day and age. lol

Deirdre 3 years ago

Prosti-tots and eski-hoes!!!! LMAO!!! Thanks for the new vocabulary!!!!

Anna 3 years ago

ours are usually from the bachelor uncle. i should maybe just leave the kid behind for a few hours and he would start to understand!!

Anna 3 years ago

genius! i am ON IT.

Guerrilla Mom 3 years ago

My friend was at her 6 year old daughter’s soccer game yesterday, where she observed (out loud) that one of the girls on the opposing team was being really rough and pushing a lot. The girl’s mom heard her, marched over, and pushed my friend! This was a woman in her 30’s!
So, yeah- agreed on the crazy sports moms.

Callie 3 years ago

At 11 it’s a little different…and your example is a little different than the kids going home early on Monday with a high fever or throwing up and the showing up Tuesday. It sucks for the classmates and the teacher. Who wants a stomach virus?

I understand that a lot of jobs will not let you have off to care for a sick child, which is bullshit and there should be laws mandating sicks days to care for family, but it’s really aggravating to watch a child look and feel so miserable. They’re not learning anything when they come to class/school that day. They’re bodies are too busy fighting off grossness to focus on lessons.

Claire Toplis 3 years ago

I must do this on my blog its hilarious xxx

Mom0f4 3 years ago

Actually here in Arizona all children from elementary school to high school are not allowed to wear tank tops unless the strap is 3 fingers width thick. and that is 3 adult fingers width. No shorts unless under or just above the knee anything shorter you get written up and sent home. No holes in your clothes at all ever.

Claire Toplis 3 years ago

This is so hilarious I must do this on my blog x

Sarahviz 3 years ago

Totally guilty of the $10 tooth. But but but, in fairness, he’s my youngest, he waited soooo long to lose his first tooth and dammit, we only had a $10 bill in the house! It is totally understood though that every subsequent tooth will be a mere dollar from the Tooth Fairy.

Mom0f4 3 years ago

Usually kids get those gifts from grandparents well at least mine did. So i started leaving those toys behind saying ” this is a grandma house toy” They stopped buying those annoying things.

Claire Toplis 3 years ago

The same has to be said of Parties in the Uk . ! and of the parents who often spent hundreds of pounds on the parties !

Susan 3 years ago

I am a horrible mother because the next words out of my mouth are usually “Well, Janie’s parents don’t love her as much as I love you” or “Well, Janie has crappy parents. Feel lucky that I care enough to keep you from doing stupid crap”.

Yep, not writing the book on how to win friends and influence people any time soon over here.

You know what though? My daughter hasn’t said “But so-and-so’s parents let him/her do this/that” in about two years. She’s 12 now so this is a miracle! lol
Susan
http://75percenthippie.blogspot.com
http://happyhippieheart.blogspot.com

Mom0f4 3 years ago

I have to add those parents that are trying to be nice and ask your child over for a play date. Pick them up before lunch and bring them back way after bed time and the first thing you child ask for is food because they weren’t given lunch or dinner! I HATE THAT! If i invite a child to my home for the entire day I will be treating and taking care of that child maybe even better than my own. LOL . For GOD sake feed the children!

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

If you give my children toys that make noise I will hire a marching band to show up at your house at 3 AM.

It is amazing effective.

Janeen 3 years ago

My mom almost got in trouble BIG TIME for this because I was going to school looking like the walking dead. I was throwing up, looking pale as a ghost, the whole nine yards. They called her in to give her the riot act and she had NO idea what was going on. They called me into the office. I come in, see my mom, ask, “Mom, what are you doing here?!” and they let her off the hook. I didn’t tell her I was sick. I was a bit of a um over achiever back then and I hated being at home sick (because my mom wasn’t the take care of you when you’re home sick type). I totally screwed myself over doing this too. While I wasn’t sick in the sense of exposing people, because I wasn’t giving my stomach a chance to rest, I had no choice but to on the day of the school carnival deal and therefore had to miss all the yummy food which really sucked. I was 11.

Meredith 3 years ago

I am not going to bullshit you. I have totally sent my kids to school in less than stellar health and just crossed my fingers. Not dragging on the floor while vomiting, but definitely not at 100%.

They’re just so…………loud.

My apologies. I am also a cheapskate who thought the going rate on teeth was a shiny new quarter.
*sigh*

Jenea 3 years ago

Thanks for the new word! So needed for Toddlers & Tiaras! Goes with Eski-hoes (girls in short shorts and uggs)

Beki 3 years ago

I haven’t had to deal with numbers 5 and 10 yet.
As for number 1… I taught my kids that if they won a goldfish at one of these things they had to swollow it… No more “MOM! I want to play the goldfish game!”

Callie 3 years ago

Schools try to, but a lot of parents raise such holy hell that schools inevitably cave in. It also doesn’t help when parents send the sick kids in and when the school does try uphold the rule and get the kid picked up no at home answers the phone, or the cell phone, or the work phone. The best is when the phone numbers and emergency numbers are wrong or have been shut off.

Anna 3 years ago

great list, and i have one more. the “gift” givers who provide your kid with things like drum sets, giant princess tents and talking dora heads. and of course since it’s a gift, it’s hard to make it just disappear in the dark of night, not that i would ever do that…

Julia’s Child / Sarah P. 3 years ago

How about parents who give away noisemakers in goody bags? They’re near the top of my list. Right under the carnival fish.

julie 3 years ago

my kids’ teeth stay under their pillows for days and days…they say “really mom? 5 days, and no money?” – so now I don’t give them money- I gave them baseball cards

Virginia 3 years ago

I’m 24, have no children of my own, and my mom (& dad!) still like to monitor what I wear because they don’t want me to give off the wrong impression. Mama says how we look gives the first impression of who we are and our values. For the girls that aren’t dressing appropriately now, imagine how they’ll look in 20 years!

Christine @ Quasi Agitato 3 years ago

What is it about the lice thing? Is it classic denial? Or thinking your kid is above lice? This is one area where I am actually NOT a slacker parent. I would die before sending my child to school with a less than completely lice free head.

Kate in Ohio 3 years ago

My six year old son went to a party that had Coke to drink. Who the hell gives six year old boys caffiene?

Our tooth fairy gives $1.00. My sister’s gives $10.00. I told my kids that we were of a different route and ours must be hit hard by the economy.

julie 3 years ago

I have boys, 12, and 9, and I’m terrified of the skanks they encounter at school – these girls will wrap them around their fingers, chew em up, spit them out – I have already started my “condoms are cheaper than diapers” mantra with the 12 yr old.

Kerry Ann (aka Vinobaby) 3 years ago

Love the pros-ti-tots (the word not the mini pole dancers). My 8-yr-old recently told me he saw a girl friends “privates” because her shorts we so short when she bent over on the playground she flashed everyone! Come on parents!

I am guilty of #9. No fevers or puking, of course, but if my kid has a cold, he caught it from school, so we are sharing it back. They’re all going to get it anyway.

And I’m going to go after someone if my kid comes home with lice. Nas-ty.

Celina 3 years ago

Yes, totally had to return the butt-huggers my MIL bought my 5 year old. My teenage niece might wear them, but NOT my kids. Bermudas at school till she is out of high school or she pays for her own. And my FIL is a #2.
My hubs and I kinda like the fish, we get as giddy as the kids. As for the birthday parties, I try to do crafty stuff to make it cool but other than that I can only do what my wallet allows and that is not much.

Jackie @ MomJovi 3 years ago

I’d also add my current parental nemeses — the parents who pack complete junk in their kids’ lunchboxes. My 4yo was doing great with her PB&J, milk box, fresh fruit and yogurt for a long time. But then she started noticing the other kids’ chocolate milk, juice boxes and Scoopy snacks. And it’s been a losing battle ever since. Bastards.

Jeannine Eubanks 3 years ago

sorry, didn’t mean to put this here, meant it to be a normal comment. :/

Remy 3 years ago

I agree… or the parents that RSVP to a party but thendon’t bring their kid and better yet those that just show up. I have a small house so most of my kid parties are at places where I pay by the kid…. frustrating.

cassandra 3 years ago

OMG…pros-ti-tots, I love it!!! I have a 12 year old daughter and I refuse to let her dress anyway she wants, I’m paying for the clothes after all. She’s 12 with the body of a 15/16 yrold and there’s NO way she’s leaving my house in booty shorts or a mini-skirt. My rule is the length has to be below the fingertips. Just wish her father and stepmother thought like me…tell me since when is it appropriate for a 12 yro w a 34 B+ to wear a spaghetti strap tank top to school??

Cindy 3 years ago

Oh my gawd. My worst nightmare! But you just made me laugh out loud. Could you imagine?
And now I’ll have their songs in my head all day. Damn you! LOL

Wanda 3 years ago

Oh yea, I have to agree with your list! I’d like to add #11–parents who allow their kids to participate in whatever they want, Ex: little kids with their own cell phone or Facebook (what the heck?)

Then the world wonders why YOUNG people are so wild, promiscuous and sex-centered. They have access TO EVERYTHING TOO EARLY!!
Let them be little kids, dangit!

Jeannine Eubanks 3 years ago

ok #3 – I got a quarter. My kids now get a dollar. Some of their friends get $5 or $10, and I think it’s totally obnoxious for a 5 year old who doesn’t really even understand the value.
#4 – yep, couldn’t agree more. my 6 year old has been BEGGING AND BEGGING for a skimpy bikini. they also see a lot on TV, which I try to monitor, but with a teenage sister, it’s close to impossible.
#7 – so been there. so so so so been there. I’ve found two reliable lice solutions: flat iron, and robi comb.
Great article! :)

Sarah 3 years ago

I totally agree about all of these! Except #8… because really, it’s just payback for all the times I have brought my crazed kid home from a birthday party hopped up on sugar straws (really??) and Orange Crush (again… really?). I stopped short this year of sending the kids home with their very own sling shots in their loot bags. I’m not totally evil.

Cindy 3 years ago

Prosti-tots! My 13 month old was given TWO bikinis for her 1st birthday by the inlaws. Uhm? never mind the skank factor but the UV exposure? Hello?
And the rest of the list… uhm, yes, agreed.
*rolling eyes*

Scroogy 3 years ago

Awesome. The birthday party show-offs are the worse, I think. Because then my kids are all, “Mommy, can’t we have The Fresh Beat Band perform at our party?” Dammit.

Marica – Aprovadimamma 3 years ago

hilarious!! I got the book over here to Italy from Amazon. Best shopping ever!!

Amy 3 years ago

… you right! you right! you are SO right!

Karen 3 years ago

Prosti-tots ! Love it- also love that I have boys..

Trisha 3 years ago

You forgot about the idiotic fathers at the Pinewood Derby in Scouting – the ones who made the cars and make them so well and are so competitive that your little guy’s car looks ridiculous compared to theirs and doesn’t even go down the track right, despite all of his hard work and trying. This should be outlawed, it enrages me the way things are done now.

Marla 3 years ago

I gotta tell you, I was pretty upset about the whole lice thing myself. What a trial. The real issue is the bullshit lies they tell you about how to get rid of them. Poison? Doesn’t work worth a damn and it sure as hell doesn’t kill the nits!! I found the answer in the old home solutions of olive oil and vinegar, did the trick, stopped the cycle of horror. If they would just TELL people HOW TO DO IT RIGHT, it wouldn’t be that horrible. The whole, bag everything up for weeks on end? That’s bullshit too. They live less than 48 hours without a human host. Wash the bedding. Smother your kids head in olive oil or mayonaisse for 30 minutes to an hour, just to be sure, then wash a few times and rinse with straight white vinegar. Dissolves the nits completely and they brush right out. Wish I had known that before I spent a fortune on several treatments of that gawd awful poison crap. And I’m totally with you on the goldfish. I told my daughter last time that we weren’t going to play that game, because if we won one, we might as well just throw the fish on the floor and stomp on it since it would be dead within 24 hours anyway. We’d won them before, spent 30 bucks on the equipment on our way home and then the little buggers were just belly up the next day from the complete trauma. I agree. Who ever thought that was a good idea should be shot!

Jack@TheJackB 3 years ago

I decided to one up the fish people. The next carnival I run we are going to give away puppies as prizes. That ought to earn me the love and gratitude of more than a few parents.

Amy 3 years ago

me too!!!! pros ti tots … bahahaha

Ivona 3 years ago

Absolutely amen on all of these, especially no.7.

I would also add parents who don’t even bother to bring the kid to the damn birthday party. I get it, you don’t want to be there but for an hour or two- you’ll live! Haul the kid over and get over it, instead of me explaining to my kid why their friends didn’t come. ugh!

Stephanie 3 years ago

Yes to the whore people. Moreso if you see your kid dressing like a whore and choose not to address it, and I so agree with the parties thing. I will NEVER have a party like that. EVER.

Jane 3 years ago

pros-ti-tots! That is great!! Stealing it and thanks!! That is just hilarious!

Erin 3 years ago

OMG YES to the daughters dressing like whores. Please make it stop, please. My daughter is a toddler, and it’s already starting. I weep for how she’ll want to leave the house by age 7….

Ivona 3 years ago

The schools are the ones who should enforce the 24 hour fever rule, our daycare does.

Missy 3 years ago

HAHAHA! I have encountered every single one of these during my 8 years of motherhood so far and I agree with them all.

Kelley 3 years ago

So guilty of the over-the -top celebrations – but don’t those make up for all the shitty things that happen in life!! Have a great party for when things are worth celebrating and that gives you a good memory to hold onto when the shit hits the fan.

I like doing this, but I don’t judge others for thinking about it differently.

Dana 3 years ago

Amen. Just Amen to every single one of these.

the domestic fringe 3 years ago

Spot on! I agree wholeheartedly!

critters and crayons 3 years ago

Oh, no. I fear I’m at least one of those. But, I follow your blog so that cancels out the over-the-top birthday parties, right? No? Drat.

Jennifer 3 years ago

Oh we have a no. 2 on Cady’s softball team, but it is the GRANDparents. I actually wrote about it last week. Jerks. Thankfully tonight is our last game. I just have to make through an hour and a half of softball without showing my ass. Wish me luck.

Laurie Evans 3 years ago

Hooray for mediocrity!!

Denise 3 years ago

I can’t stand the obnoxious sports parents. Do they really think insulting the refs will somehow help the team? I have even seen the start of a physical altercation between 2 women in the stands resulting in one being thrown out. WTF?

Tanya 3 years ago

HOLY SHIT! dying! pros-ti-tots! bwahahahaha

Motherhood on the Rocks 3 years ago

Oh I feel you, sister! I worry about my daughter a lot and struggle with ways to raise her that make her appreciate and respect her body – and not want to dress like a whore or put too much emphasis on thinness. It’s a cruel world we live in when 12-year-olds (and younger!) are struggling with eating disorders because every women who is “idolized” is about 2 pounds from crumbling into a heap of bones.

Julie Warwick 3 years ago

If I could add a #11, it’s those parents that let their kids do ridiculous things that are not age appropriate thus causing our kids to say, “But Janie’s parents let her do that!” Arghh.

tracy@sellabitmum 3 years ago

So I take it your daughter has discovered Justice…Welcome to my world my friend. We need a Justice Support Group. xo

Selena 3 years ago

$1?!?!?! I think I used to get $0.25. I’m 30. LOL.

Mini-hookers: YES!!! I saw shimmery leggings for TODDLERS yesterday. To go with the mini skirts. Then again, have you seen the baby bikinis? Too much “Toddlers & Tiaras”. Make the early sexualization stop!!!!

christie 3 years ago

so I teach and
1. I am sorry about the because thing, but, it just has to be done :)
2. I get SO upset when kids are sent to school sick, especially if they go home puking with a fever AND COME IN THE VERY NEXT DAY. Isn’t there a 24 hours after a fever rule? Or did I just make that up??
3. I can’t even with the pros-ti-tots….My son will be dating one of those one day…dammit

Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) 3 years ago

Ha. Brilliant, Jill.

And the ones who think “parenting” is a verb. Can’t we just be parents and just kind of “be present”?

Michele C. 3 years ago

ha! yes. So very, very true. 😉