1. Will it still be in 1970s New York, with the sets reminiscent of Coney Island, Times Square and the World’s Fair? Or scary people on the subway?
2. Is the bad witch still going to be the parks department commissioner?
3. Are they going to keep all the moments when taxis won’t pick Dorothy up?
4. Is “You Can’t Win,” the anthem that the crows make the Scarecrow (Michael Jackson) sing, going to hit the same notes of upbeat danceability, and, uh, creepy, taunting coercion?
5. Will they ever find anyone to play Scarecrow who can sing and dance as beautifully as Michael Jackson? Diana Ross was obviously no slouch, but there just hasn’t been anyone as wonderful as MJ before or since. Check it out:
6. Is the music going to be exactly the same? Because Nipsey Russell singing the New Orleans-jazz-inflected song “Slide Some Oil to Me” is pretty much perfect as it is.
7. Is the Cowardly Lion still going to jump out of the lions at the New York Public Library?
8. Is “Emerald City” going to stay this 1970s disco?
9. Is there going to be subtle commentary on labor conditions set to a gospel beat?
10. And are there going to be as many dancers clad in only their underwear?
11. And finally, how are they going to find a lead with the vocal chops of Diana Ross?