Did you try on your favorite jeans and feel like a stuffed sausage, then roll your ankle trying to do some squats just so you could sit down? Do you detest exercising and have yet to fall in love with anything that makes you break out into a sweat?
Maybe you have tried the Zen Hot Yoga Rooms and passed out or left CrossFit in the middle of class because you were afraid for your life. Perhaps spinning has left your ass-bones so sore you have to sit on a pillow for a week after each session. I bet that pole dancing class that was supposed to get you all limber and shit did nothing but make you fall on your head and leave you with metal burns down the back of you knees, huh? And if pilates doesn’t do it for you because the cat always tries to sit on your face, and you think running sucks because you have to actually run to reap any benefits, then you may be ready to rage.
And by that, I mean you need to grab a bat, some hefty clothing, some safety goggles, and head to the closest rage room. Because ladies and gentlemen, this is a place where it’s acceptable to burn some while you smash some. Who doesn’t want to melt away last night’s mistakes while smashing glass and porcelain?
I mean, I know I do.
Rage rooms are shattering their way into the hearts of those of us who feel ragey and want to burn off a little angst, but don’t actually want to hurt anyone. And let’s face it, what better way to relieve stress than to pound a mannequin into next Tuesday and smash a television to bits. I feel calmer just thinking about it.
There’s no holding back when it comes to this kind of workout so let it all out.
Rage rooms have been sprouting up everywhere from Manhattan to Houston to Toronto. Customers even pay up to $500 to have a custom room built so they can smash stuff to smithereens. And, let’s be honest, we’ve all wanted an all-you-can-break buffet waiting for us from time to time. Especially on those awful Mondays from hell when everything seems to go wrong. Amiright?
Tom Daly, founder of The Wrecking Club located in New York City, told TODAY, “It’s a great thing — the amount of energy that it exerts when you smash a bunch a stuff in a room — it’s just like a workout, an intense one,” he says.
So yeah, raging in a room will tone and sculpt, but there is an added benefit: it feels fucking amazing to smash and hit things.
In fact, I recall one beautiful summer morning not too long ago playing baseball with a bunch of other families in our town. A woman who claimed she “hadn’t swung a bat in the last two decades” approached the homeplate and proceeded to drill the ball two miles down the road. She didn’t even run the bases, no one could catch the damn thing in time and her response was simply: “Wow, it feels good to smack something.” She got a round of applause from all the other mothers watching because, yes, it fucking does.
So if you haven’t tried throwing a bat around and violently breaking everything from a piano to an old sofa into small pieces, maybe it’s time. It could be the gateway to slipping on those jeans and relieving a shit-ton of stress. And the bonus is you don’t even have to wear spandex.