Australian blogger says he was annoyed by his wife constantly tagging him
There are plenty of annoying behaviors on Facebook that are enough to drive anyone crazy: political rants, TMI parents sharing details of their kid’s pee and poo, vaguebooking, and being randomly tagged. Being tagged in an unflattering photo is probably the worst. Second worst is being tagged in random crap you don’t give a hoot about.
But what if the mad tagger is your spouse?
Brad Kearns, dad of two, husband, and blogger known as DaDMuM, admits he was initially annoyed when his wife would tag him.
In his viral Facebook post he writes, “Every day she tags me in stuff on Facebook. Every day. Like several times a day. As if she bounces around the internet just looking for random shit to let me know is [sic] out there.”
“I used to find it annoying. I didn’t really know why half of it was relevant,” he writes. We totally get it. Sometimes getting tagged in random posts can feel really irritating like, WTF? I don’t get it. But Kearns sees the deeper meaning, the subtext of his wife’s messages.
“But over time I’ve learned that she tags me in shit because it’s either funny, insightful or relevant to us and our relationship,” he writes. “Sometimes it helps her tell me something because it’s so relevant and she couldn’t have said it better herself.”
Surely, many people can relate to that, especially those who can’t speak in perfect, flowing monologues all of the time. (I certainly can’t and I’m a writer). Many people also can’t effectively articulate their feelings, which is OK because in our modern world we have therapists, memes, and emojis to help us. (I can’t be the only one that shows memes to my therapist and husband to convey how I feel).
Kearns then drops a truth bomb: she just wants to be heard. We all want to be heard. And most of the time, that takes two seconds.
“I try to make a point of acknowledging it. It doesn’t take any effort at all,” he writes. In fact, he can use her posts as a barometer for where she’s at emotionally and as a window into her passions.
“To be honest it helps me gauge where she’s at and what she’s looking at online. Sometimes it forms the basis of our conversations when I get home. So often I come home to a ‘Did you see that thing I tagged you in?’ As silly as it sounds it helps us communicate.”
In fact, it’s not silly at all. It’s called modern love, people. The days of love letters sailing overseas for weeks are long gone, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. As long as people are still communicating their love and feelings, what can be so horrible about that?
The popular blogger then points out something he sees over and over again that’s pretty sad among spouses.
“Women tag men in basically everything I ever post. I always see the same reply of: ‘I ain’t reading that’ or ‘too long’…. that’s it….The conversation goes no further,” he recounts. “Whatever message she was trying to send him was rejected because of sheer arrogance and inability to take a few fucking seconds to read something that was probably important to how she was feeling.”
All of his remarks about tagging spouses are spot on, but it’s his penultimate paragraph that truly hits home.
“Read the post. Just fucking read it. If she tagged you in it, she wants you to look at it,” he implores. “If you were at the park and she said, ‘hey look at that,’ would you ignore it? Would you make a snide remark about how much effort it will take you to see it? I think not.”
He ends with a simple piece of advice for spouses of the world.
“Show her you love her. Let her know you care. Read the fucking post!”