Here are some handy breastfeeding covers for those public feedings that people hate so much
It’s 2016, but people are still shaming mothers for breastfeeding their children. I know! It’s crazy! There was the man who went full-psycho in Target. Then there was that letter the Boy Scouts sent to a mom who dared breastfeed her child in front of her son’s troop. There were two different stories about gyms harassing breastfeeding mothers… should I go on? I could.
The point is, WTF world? Get a grip.
A few years ago, I compiled a list of super-handy breastfeeding covers that make everyone around you more comfortable. Since this is still such a problem, here’s a 2016 update.
The “Can’t You Just Cover Up?”
This is for the creepy grandpa staring at you at the diner, who thinks it’s so easy to eat when you’re covered in fabric. Here you go, dude. Pull it up a little further and it blocks any breastfeeding that’s happening in your general vicinity. You’ll also be able to experiment with how easy it is to take your own advice and eat under a piece of fabric. Go ahead, just shove your fork in there!
The “I Did It, Why Can’t You?”
I breastfed four kids and never did it in public! This handy cover has several functions. Just shove it right in her piehole – and she not only can’t see you breastfeed, she’ll get plenty of calories for all the other mom-shaming she needs do as the day goes on.
The “I Just Don’t Want To See That!”
She doesn’t have a problem with you, or breastfeeding. She meditates. She’s super cool. She shops for organic groceries. She just doesn’t understand what’s so hard about taking a cover with you everywhere you go, and hiding like a criminal every time you feed your child. This breathable organic cotton wrap is right up her alley.
The “Maybe I’ll Just Whip It Out!”
This dude doesn’t understand why you’re allowed to feed a hungry newborn and he’s not allowed to whip his penis out and pee in public — because those two things are obviously related. You’ll find him popping up in comment sections reminding women that it’s not fair that they get to whip out their boobs to sustain life and he’s not allowed to expose himself. This brown paper bag can double as a receptacle for whatever other bullshit he’s slinging as the day goes on.
The “I’m EATING!”
“Gross. I’m eating, and even though your nipples are totally covered by your baby’s head, I’m going to stare at you and try to make a point that you are really offending me.” A roll of masking tape is perfect for those moments when you just cannot look away.
The “Do You Have To Do That HERE?”
“This is a wedding/ nice restaurant/ fancy theater. Babies can’t be hungry here.” This black sating wrap is perfect for those who demand the best while sitting in judgment and making no sense.