If you’ve ever felt guilty about ordering a pizza for dinner, settle in for a must-read
The list of items on every mom’s mental burden list is a mile long. Ringing in at the number one spot? Guilt. Mostly the variety of guilt we inflict on ourselves. Author Bunmi Laditan’s most recent Facebook post really hits home on the subject, and judging by the reactions, it seems to be resonating with moms everywhere.
Laditan explains how she feels like “a better mom” wouldn’t stoop to ordering pizza with a house full of newly-purchased groceries, and the guilt she feels in not cooking sometimes or putting away laundry and all the other tasks that go into maintaining a household.
And boy, have we all been there.
She acknowledges how much she likes joking about being a domestic failure at times (heck, she even wrote a book about it), but says that doesn’t mean she’s immune to feeling guilty. “I find myself thinking, ‘A better mom would have put those away and have the week’s meals all planned out,'” she writes. “A better mom wouldn’t have spent $200 at the grocery store yesterday and have pizza on the way right now. A better mom would have washed the kids’ sheets today and cleared the mail, toy, and other random clutter off of the kitchen counter. She wouldn’t have so many toys in the family room and a dried strawberry milk ring on the coffee table.”
There isn’t a day of my life where I don’t compare myself to other moms I know, or my house’s level of (dis)organization and cleanliness to those of others. We all know comparison is the thief of joy — but we still do it. But all it does is zap us of precious mental energy. And ordering Domino’s pizza for dinner hasn’t been the sole cause for destruction in family dynamics that we know of, so who cares? Order the damn pizza.
She says in the middle of one of her guilt attacks, she decided to ask her kids if they were happy and if they feel good.
“My oldest said, ‘Why wouldn’t we?'”
Laditan writes that perhaps all the things she (and all the rest of us moms) beat ourselves up about, all the self-loathing we engage in over homemaking — maybe they’re just not important. What is important is that our kids feel safe and loved with us and in their homes — even if said homes haven’t been vacuumed in a few days or the couch cushions are full of Goldfish crumbs and chocolate milk spills.
Plenty of moms chimed in, sharing how Laditan’s words resonated with them. Most of the comments were relatable and downright hilarious.
Some people shared more heartwarming tidbits.
But perhaps the best comment is one shared by Chrissy, a delivery driver for Domino’s. Be warned: you will tear up reading this because it’s absolutely something all moms need to read.
“I took enough burden off of her shoulders for one night that she got to go outside and lose herself playing with her babies.” Chrissy, you have SLAYED us. I’m in a glass case of emotion now.
Laditan concludes her post by admitting homemaking is really hard for her. “But I give really good hugs,” she says. “I listen to them. I massage their backs some nights when they’re having trouble settling down. We laugh. They feel safe and like coming home. If my motherhood were a cake it wouldn’t be fancy, but it would taste good. I need to let that be enough, I will let that be enough.”