This viral Twitter thread is completely, embarrassingly accurate
Living with men has its quirks (toilet seat up at all times, random toenail clippings, so much burping). Living with women might just be a little bit worse. At least, that’s what we learned from a viral Twitter thread written by Robbie Stowers, a 20-year-old University of London student, who broke down the many challenges that come along with having female roommates.
Stowers recently bunked with three women during a school ski trip, and chronicled his observations into 32 succinct tweets. His posts have already racked up hundreds of thousands of likes — probably because they are acutely accurate.
A thread about what I learned whilst living with girls for one week is going live at 10pm
— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
“The response from this thread has been entirely unexpected and quite overwhelming,” Stowers told Scary Mommy. “I wrote it as I thought a few friends may find it amusing, now it has been seen by 72 million people from across the world.”
His roommates (aka the true superstars of the thread) were equally shocked. “They’re in disbelief that it’s gone viral,” he said. “It has all been a lot of fun.”
Without further ado, here are all of the things we’ve been doing that have been secretly annoying and baffling our male roomies. Sending many, many apologies. Except not really.
Some of us have an unhealthy relationship with makeup.
26) Girls have two make up bags. One bag with all the make up that they actually use, and one that has absolutely no use at which is full of makeup never touched but is always brought along— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
We shed. A lot.
4) I went for a shower and there was organized clumps of hair on the wall?????— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
No, seriously. We have a lot of hair and it goes everywhere.
29) There will be hair. Everywhere.— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
What’s mine is yours — and it’s totally okay if you forgot to ask.
10) Girls all share clothes like one big free for all?? “you seen my nice black top?”— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
“oh yeh babe got it on atm”
We need access to the bathroom mirror before going out on the town (because that crappy, smudged nightstand mirror just won’t cut it).
9) From 5pm onwards I was refused entry to the toilet area as it was reserved until 11pm for showering and about 3 hours of make up. “no Robbie you can’t go for a shower we need the mirror!!!!!!”— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
We’re not as subtle and quiet as we think we are.
2) When girls are trying to be quiet they make most of their noise with the “SSSHHHHHHHHHHH”— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
But also there’s just so much to discuss.
11) The night out doesn’t end when they get in. oh no. Whilst I was trying to sleep at 5am there was an extended bathroom session about what happened with boys and how nice the burgers were.— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
Yes, we will dissect text messages while we’re together. It’s just much more fun that way.
15) Girls literally rip apart every text a guy sends them. If you are thinking you are a lad that this hasn’t happened to, your girl is probably laughing at your text right now.— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
We will shape each other’s eyebrows with a skilled determination. No, it won’t be painless. Yes, it will be worth it.
32) "robbie I promise this won't hurt" pic.twitter.com/wwixa4PBpo— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 18, 2017
Every article of clothing looks terrible when you’re getting ready. Bring on the Spanx, please.
22) “omg im so bloated I can’t wear this” was a phrase heard hourly during the evening getting ready process.— Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 17, 2017
If any of the above ring true, you’re definitely not alone. Also, maybe we should collectively come together and offer to give up one of these habits in exchange for a closed toilet seat. Like, disposing of those 15 clumps of hair currently sitting in the bathtub right now. It’s for a good cause.