Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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It drives me to rage when people bring their disgusting dogs into the dog free park and let them piss and shit everywhere. Those same people would absolutely lose their fucking minds if I brought my kids to some snooty restaurant that didn't allow kids.

9 LIKES
2 HUGS
8 ME TOO

Why is every man's response to an argument "if you dont like it, leave"? Both DH and exH have this knee jerk reaction and I cant take it anymore.

0 LIKES
6 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I just want to be back in my 30s, even if I'm NOT having wild, hot, ravenous sex.

0 LIKES
2 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Last year I cooked and cleaned and baked and decorated and my adult s-kids brought nothing and gave me nothing. This year, they get that right back.

5 LIKES
5 HUGS
0 ME TOO


I am insanely jealous of a woman who doesn't have to work and has all this glorious free, fun time. I have been slaving away for years because my DH is underemployed. Bitter.

0 LIKES
4 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I'm a longtime vegan. Recently started seeing a new doctor after mine retired. She smugly ordered bloods saying she was sure I was deficient in everything. Nope. They were "perfect" LOL.

23 LIKES
6 HUGS
0 ME TOO

Neighbor, Please train your dogs to behave or keep them in your house. If my kids screamed at you & made a scene every time you stepped outside, you would expect me to correct their behavior, would you not? Respect & consideration go both ways, bro.

15 LIKES
2 HUGS
2 ME TOO

DD16 has ADHD thinks she is stupid and can't do anything even though I am always telling her differently. If I did not help with all school work she would be failing every class. Hate ADHD & way it makes her feel about herself, she just learns different.

1 LIKES
14 HUGS
1 ME TOO


I have spent $1279 on Christmas gifts for my children. So far.

5 LIKES
12 HUGS
3 ME TOO

When I have beer after work, I skip dessert after dinner. Alcohol calories or cake calories. Not both.

13 LIKES
2 HUGS
9 ME TOO

Insurance is messed up. one side of my permanent retainer came unglued Saturday. My friend/ nail tech just used her tool to grind off glue on the other side. Instant relief when it came out.

10 LIKES
4 HUGS
0 ME TOO

DH doesn't "man-splain". He doesn't just dumb things down and explain the obvious to women - he assumes nobody knows as much as him, so he does it to EVERYONE.

4 LIKES
10 HUGS
3 ME TOO


Mom, could you just tell the half siblings that this is strictly a you & me trip & that they're not invited. Please. Can it NOT be about your new family for once? They're always in the middle of shit & I'm tired of it. I'm tired of them, too.

2 LIKES
13 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I'm tired of teaching high school. I swear the kids play dumb just to do the least amount of work possible. I HATE repeating myself. I'm pretty much over it at this point. 26 years a teacher here.

1 LIKES
14 HUGS
1 ME TOO

My MIL refuses to share her family recipes with me. I'm certain she's doing it to keep that last hook in my husband - that ONE thing only SHE can do for him.

2 LIKES
8 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I come off as naive at times because, if I can't envision myself doing something mean or criminal, I have a tough time envisioning anyone else doing it either.

0 LIKES
6 HUGS
7 ME TOO


If I could afford it, I’d go through clothes like paper towels. Wear once and throw away. Because I hate laundry that fucking much. Maybe I’ll give up underwear to at least eliminate that from the laundry pile.

2 LIKES
4 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I want me and my family to go vegan.....but, we’re ranchers

4 LIKES
8 HUGS
0 ME TOO

H used to be amazing at eating pussy.... Idk what happened... Doesn't care as much? Me? Is it possible to be too out of shape? Sometimes it's so frustrating I just want to smack him while he's down there. Lol. I KNOW you can do better! WTF dude?

3 LIKES
8 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I hate Disney.

1 LIKES
4 HUGS
19 ME TOO


The handyman I hired is a fuckhead.

0 LIKES
9 HUGS
2 ME TOO

When I can’t work out, I don’t eat. I feel like I always have to earn my food.

3 LIKES
31 HUGS
7 ME TOO

I didn't set out to estrange myself from my mother. I only meant to take a break from her for a few months, then realized that life was easier & happier without her in it. Next thing I know, 30 years have passed. No regrets.

25 LIKES
27 HUGS
9 ME TOO

My husband is so insecure. It's the least sexy thing ever.

3 LIKES
21 HUGS
14 ME TOO


I am EXTREMELY bisexual but my wife thinks Bi girls are gross and dirty. I can never tell her I am one.

3 LIKES
25 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I know indulging in an "I told you so!" is childish and counter-productive, but sometimes it's just WORTH it to be able to rub their nose in it.

23 LIKES
3 HUGS
6 ME TOO

When I think about looking at his social media or hers I repeat to myself "NOT MY CIRCUS. NOT MY MONKEYS."

18 LIKES
8 HUGS
5 ME TOO

I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fishing hook then watch a Hallmark channel movie

14 LIKES
7 HUGS
58 ME TOO


DW just angrily asked me if I know how much my upcoming heart surgery is going to inconvenience her.

3 LIKES
78 HUGS
1 ME TOO

DS's new daycare teacher is such a bitch. I put a hidden recorder in his bag and got her fired. The vile things she said may not be allowed in court but the director sure wanted to hear it.

46 LIKES
25 HUGS
2 ME TOO

Sitting at the park minding my own GD business, and here come someone's fucking dogs, getting all up in my shit, trying to grab my food, one of them took a dump 3 feet from me. And their idiot owners just grinned. This is why I stay in my house!!

8 LIKES
35 HUGS
4 ME TOO

Every year I give thanks that we make enough to be able to afford to eat our Thanksgiving meal at a restaurant, so I don't have to do all the cooking and cleanup.

47 LIKES
5 HUGS
6 ME TOO


They're too scared to ever do it, but I make a point when we're heading out to tell the babysitter (in front of DC) "Spank 'em if they need it"

16 LIKES
4 HUGS
7 ME TOO

I give the expected cheerful responses and congratulations for people (marriage, baby, promotion, etc.), but I don't mean it, and I think people are starting to notice.

10 LIKES
9 HUGS
20 ME TOO

I just want to be back in my 30s having wild, hot, ravenous sex with gorgeous men.

21 LIKES
5 HUGS
12 ME TOO

Dh was raised with an alcoholic dad , his mom just made herself the victim , never left , would talk shit about his dad. Shed rather have a fucked up son and the sympathy. I demanded dh get sober or gtfo. Hes coming up on a year. We dont see them.

18 LIKES
22 HUGS
2 ME TOO


I know this makes me sound horrid, but when I'm using the restroom at work & someone else comes in my first thought is "Jesus Christ get the fuck out of here".

9 LIKES
9 HUGS
71 ME TOO

H is going to be late to work again because it takes him hours to poop. It’s ridiculous.

7 LIKES
13 HUGS
9 ME TOO

I have been officially waiting for two years for another child, biological or adopted. I secretly cry every day.

2 LIKES
65 HUGS
2 ME TOO

My neighbors kids bedroom is where their front door is. I have anxiety just thinking about someone stealing my kids let alone them sleeping a foot away from the front door!

2 LIKES
5 HUGS
9 ME TOO

You know we're there for you, mama, but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you. Learn More
You know we're there for you, mama,
but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you.
Learn More