CONFESSIONAL

Dear everyone- constantly texting me asking for gift ideas for my kids doesn’t remotely help my stress levels. You know them, figure it out!

DD19 told me that if I get the lights, she'll decorate the front porch. A week later, those lights are sitting on the table near the front door, still in the Walmart bag. Does this girl take after her dad, or what?!

Hate spending time alone with H lately because he wants to talk about our marriage EVERY TIME. FFS just give things time asshole. How did we get here?

H refuses to accept he is the reason this marriage is broken. I tolerate a lot due to his anxiety, but now he’s “not happy.” WTF. Not really sure what to do now.

I don't care if my H catches me lounging on the couch. What's he gonna do?

When friends post their used shit repeatedly, I unfollow them. If after 2 months no one wants your beat to shit desk for 100, donate it and quit shoving it in my face!

I'm thinking of starting a cleaning business.

The honest truth of why I wanted to be a SAHM was so I wouldn't have to go to work every day, and someone else would pay all my bills.

I'm supposed to be a sex goddess, and can just sort of lie there? He's gotten so lazy in bed.

It ruins my day I feel I have to have sex first thing in the morning with DH. This is not the way it's supposed to be.

I have never felt this way about a woman before. Does this mean I’m not straight?

I can’t stop thinking about her. And I’m married to him. Keep pretending?

We have said over and over no smart home products in our house. As two grown adults we also manage to regularly forget to close our garage door...so smart garage door opener, I hope you aren’t a gateway to more “smart” things taking over ;)

I sleep better in my own space, away from h. I like to stretch and make whatever noises I need to while I’m out. The bed feels cold and gross with him in it. I don’t love him. He’s not a good guy

DH tells me he loves me all the time. It may sound weird but I wish he wouldn't. Saying it so much dilutes the meaning & makes it less special to me. I'd rather he say it less often with passion than all the time half-heartedly.

Pmsing and waiting to have a follow up mammogram because the first found a mass, yet I'm supposed to be fun and in the Christmas spirit. Fuck this bullshit. I'm allowed to have emotions, damn it.

I called my sister in law a bitch to her face today. It was in such a way that she couldn't dispute it and it sounded friendlier than it was.

When he looks at me with pure desire in his eyes it makes me feel so good

The snoring is going to make me kill him.

I like staying home with my kids.

My sister and mom made me change my hair color before sister's wedding and constantly commented on my (thin) weight. Now that I'm fat and have mouse brown hair, they don't say a word.

He said he's a social recluse after we shared a wonderful night together talking until dawn. One week would pass by before he comes back before disappearing for another week. It's been 3 WEEKS & he finally contacted me but this time, I'm just over him.

I gained 100 lbs in 3 years &, thanks to PCOS, am finding it nearly impossible to lose. Went from a size 4 to a size 20 & feel like shit all the time. I smile, pretend I don't care, & act all "body positive" but deep down I hate myself & want to die.

I realized today that going through estrangement and separation means that I can’t/don’t want to hang out with the old friends because it doesn’t fit anymore and I am not ready for a new scene or dating or anything new yet. So Netflix it is.

Saw him. Miss him. Should’ve been us.

2020 is the year I have conceive a baby boy, pay off debt, and get a mountain of cash from a lottery win. Speak it into existence!

We did 2 trees this year, never again. Also I want a spicy chicken sandwich but I have to be healthy and shit. Is it 2020 yet??

It’s my birthday. I’m not even getting birthday sex. What in the actual fuck.

I hate Christmas. I'm so sick of it being a competition with his family. It's getting really fucking old.

When you said it was more than sex, who were you trying to reassure? Yourself? Me? But you don’t love me “like that”.

Im a vet. Yo me there is no greater honor than having served and honoring those that have served. It’s corny as hell. But I feel it. Thank you all to have sacrificed for this country.

Jealous of how great of a husband one of my best friends is. He kisses his wife goodbye and tells her he loves her everytime she goes out. It's adorable...and makes my heart ache since my H barely says I love you anymore.

I finally got laid!

Sure, male coworker, we're slammed with holiday shipments, but you go ahead & go home early because your tummy hurts. As usual, us women will handle it & get shit done.

Every year, I make sure that each kid has the same number of gifts under the tree. Even if they're not being obvious about it, siblings do keep track. Best to just be fair.

I wish I had never met my husband.

Love having a handy man for a husband! Fixed our ailing refrigerator for $40, the cost of the part! My ex would have trashed it and got the latest and greatest model, kinda like he did with me.

I'm on bottle 2 of wine and feel fine but God the anxiety I'll feel tomorrow will be horrendous.

My parents were alcoholic hoarders who smoked around me. Due to the smoke exposure and a lack of medical care growing up, I have lifelong medical problems.

Often when I hear DH's car pull up, I jump up and start doing chores so that it looks like I've been active instead of lounging on the couch. He does the same thing when I come home and it's obvious. We are nuts.