Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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My boss is a stone cold ice queen and one of these days I’m going to call her out. Show some emotion! Act like you give a crap!

7 LIKES
12 HUGS
9 ME TOO

Spent all day cooking thanksgiving dinner (Canada), ate and then immediately had the worst indigestion of my life, 8 hours later and it still hurts like hell. Should have just eaten a salad. FML.

2 LIKES
28 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Whether or not I get laid is entirely dependent upon whether or not my wife's college football team won their game.

12 LIKES
10 HUGS
0 ME TOO

The majority of my underwear is the kind that comes in packs.

5 LIKES
4 HUGS
65 ME TOO


I get a little bit of joy out of knowing the fact that my ex BF's family (I was his first GF) still loves me and really do not like the girls he has dated since.

18 LIKES
7 HUGS
7 ME TOO

I am 62 years old. I have been with my husband since we were 15 and 16---almost 50 years! Got married at 18 and 19. Happy marriage. Love DH dearly. Kids. Grandkids. But there's part of me that wishes I would have dated others and not committed so young.

8 LIKES
36 HUGS
8 ME TOO

Pretty sure my husband has PPD. He yelled at our month old baby who was crying in the bathtub and then later told me he feels nothing when he looks at her. Now I feel so alone in this.

1 LIKES
83 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I was a virgin until I was 35 and it was with my now husband. We didn't wait till marriage but I did want to wait until I was with someone I cared about. And it was! I'd rather have not waited until 35 to lose it but---we're still together today!

30 LIKES
6 HUGS
0 ME TOO


Sometimes, the little cotton part covering the crotch of my underwear, apparently called a gusset, get little holes. I have about 3 or 4 pairs that are like that. Weird & gross. Wtf?

4 LIKES
10 HUGS
48 ME TOO

DH and I get along great. He calls out my BS and I call out his. We keep each other grounded and we keep things real. Been together more than 20 years.

51 LIKES
16 HUGS
8 ME TOO

H talked me into letting adult SS, his gf, & their kid stay with us. Now, my bathroom door is busted & shit has turned up missing. Sigh. And this is why I hate having people in my house, goddammit. I want them fucking out. Now. Yes, even the kid.

5 LIKES
37 HUGS
3 ME TOO

Stood up and literally felt my uterus push something out. It was a blood clot the size a baseball. Is this my period at 40? Effing fantastic.

0 LIKES
60 HUGS
10 ME TOO


I'm fucking done with him.

7 LIKES
29 HUGS
17 ME TOO

I wish my husband would die! I fucking hate him sometimes !

0 LIKES
26 HUGS
12 ME TOO

I should go into work early tomorrow. Need the money to shop and vaca. But my hair looks like shit. Not happening

3 LIKES
13 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I hate Ellen. Not because she's gay, or because she went to a sporting event with Bush- but because she's a self congratulatory ego maniac. I've always hated her, I will never understand her appeal. Oprah runs circles around her.

10 LIKES
8 HUGS
21 ME TOO


My daughter is obsessed with reading. In a house full of toys, it's all she wants to do. As a teacher, I know I should be excited about this, but I'm so fucking sick of reading ridiculous, repetitive children's books.

7 LIKES
24 HUGS
5 ME TOO

The only good men I know are all in relationships...with other men.

11 LIKES
19 HUGS
6 ME TOO

I have seriously heard it all now. DH is blaming Christopher Columbus because he can't mail out a bill that he should've sent a week ago. He's actually MAD at Christopher Columbus!

12 LIKES
25 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I went on a mini-vaca and got 3 days of alone time; first since having my DD. Came back with a very clear realization...I hate being married to my H and I don’t like being a mom! Where the F do I got from here?!

3 LIKES
43 HUGS
8 ME TOO


Is it possible to love your husband and still have a crush on a fictional character? Asking for a friend.

19 LIKES
16 HUGS
21 ME TOO

I am so so sick but no one believes me. Also no insurance so not like I can do anything about it anyhow

0 LIKES
41 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Do you ever feel like everyone fucking needs you but you are not allowed to need anyone?

19 LIKES
48 HUGS
120 ME TOO

Steven Ogg (Walking Dead, Grand Theft Auto V) isn't much to look at but his voice gets me wet. Every. Damn. Time.

12 LIKES
12 HUGS
3 ME TOO


Why do I always get so angry at my kids? I hate this. I grew up with anger. This is not good.

1 LIKES
62 HUGS
59 ME TOO

My husband is so motherfucking lazy. Men are not worth it.

5 LIKES
35 HUGS
46 ME TOO

My 2 year old almost 3 is finally potty training. 2 days of dry panties. I am 1 happy momma. Hopefully no more pull ups soon! I'm tired of $10 a pack!!!

69 LIKES
16 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I'm waiting on answers and my stomach is in absolute knots waiting.

0 LIKES
81 HUGS
8 ME TOO


I posted a bunch of 100% fake happy pictures on social media today.

7 LIKES
49 HUGS
7 ME TOO

Why is it people are outraged if 10 white people are killed in one day by a mass shooter, but not when 10 black people are killed in one day by individual criminals? Oh, wait - I think I just answered my own question.

24 LIKES
46 HUGS
20 ME TOO

I met DW on the last day of my freshman spring semester at college. I couldn't get her out of my head all summer, and asked her out the second I saw her again in the fall. 30 years and 3 kids later, I still can't stop thinking about her.

181 LIKES
19 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I got singled out be the ride attendant at an amusement park to first "try a sample seat to see if you'll be comfortable before getting on the ride". That's the smoothest and politest it's ever been phrased, but you still called me fat.

9 LIKES
80 HUGS
1 ME TOO


There are times I envy DH's partial hearing loss. When kids shriek or tantrum in public, all he has to do is turn off his hearing aids to be spared their high-pitched noise. I, on the other hand, have to hear the entire damn audio spectrum.

8 LIKES
32 HUGS
11 ME TOO

My IBS is so bad I leave the bathroom feeling like I have had an "experience".

4 LIKES
61 HUGS
17 ME TOO

I really want to punch H in the face today!!!!

5 LIKES
27 HUGS
21 ME TOO

Jealous cause 2of my FB friends are on foreign vacations with their DH’s and left the kids behind. I wish I could do that but DS6 has autism so I can’t leave him behind with anyone. So no vacation for me for at least the next 10 years..or maybe never

0 LIKES
94 HUGS
10 ME TOO


I hate doing Girl Scouts.

7 LIKES
28 HUGS
29 ME TOO

I have such a rude entitled DS14 who is pretty awful toward his siblings and myself a lot of the time. He REALLY hurts my feelings and I feel like it’s all my fault

2 LIKES
59 HUGS
7 ME TOO

I lost all my friends after I had DS...over 20 years ago. I had nothing left for outings and friendships, after working f/t, raising DS, and dealing with douchey exH. How do working moms hang onto friends?

2 LIKES
74 HUGS
49 ME TOO

I’m realizing it was the complication with AIDS that killed him. I’m not ok.

1 LIKES
106 HUGS
1 ME TOO

You know we're there for you, mama, but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you. Learn More
You know we're there for you, mama,
but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you.
Learn More