Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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I married the wrong person. And everyday is a heartbreak.

0 LIKES
15 HUGS
5 ME TOO

I dislike most of my friends and feel great relief when they cancel plans or are too busy to get together. WTF is wrong with me?

3 LIKES
7 HUGS
4 ME TOO

I always ignore H's text messages. It takes his "power" away if I don't respond. All he cares about is genitalia & sex anyway. My phone serves my needs, not other peoples'.

2 LIKES
3 HUGS
3 ME TOO

Noticed yesterday that DDs teacher wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. So, I searched him on the internet. Like a stalker. No, no, no. I can’t crush on DDs teacher (who’s divorced - found the court record) WTF is wrong with me?

2 LIKES
9 HUGS
1 ME TOO


It’s been a year since I realized that he has feelings for me too. It’s been an emotional roller coaster since we’re both married. We never talked about our situation, & while I think we should, I’m too scared to initiate but things can’t go on like this.

1 LIKES
4 HUGS
2 ME TOO

DH gave me a hickey during sex last night & I tried covering it up w/concealer but it didn’t work! I’m embarrassed to be walking around with one at 41yrs old. Although I kinda want my crush to see it & be jealous.

5 LIKES
4 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I thank God for YouTube Kids

2 LIKES
2 HUGS
5 ME TOO

Im sure the only reason my H wants to stay w/me is bc #1 Im hilarious and also I swing from the closet rods for a quickie when the house is full or I need a fast and painful way for me to work both my arms and legs at once.

3 LIKES
3 HUGS
1 ME TOO


The only time I can eat peacefully is when I'm eating alone or with my DH. Eating with kids racks my nerves I always end up choking.

1 LIKES
10 HUGS
3 ME TOO

I have General Anxiety Disorder and I'm now in Perimenopause, basically everyday I'm dying of something...

1 LIKES
15 HUGS
4 ME TOO

Motherhood has been the biggest failure in my life.

0 LIKES
7 HUGS
5 ME TOO

My sister uses the anniversary of 9/11 and Veterans Day to share pictures of exercise routines and running times. "This is for the troops!" I've never met anyone more self-involved in my life.

1 LIKES
9 HUGS
2 ME TOO


I shake my head when I remember how, in high school, I used to long for the skinny bodies actors and rock stars had. These days I know most of them were skinny because they were using cocaine non-stop.

5 LIKES
1 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Omg hide and seek with a 3 year old means a break

5 LIKES
3 HUGS
3 ME TOO

I am a really caring mom but my adopted daughter still hates me. This is harder than anything I have ever done.

1 LIKES
20 HUGS
1 ME TOO

You know what’s frightening? How many of our congressmen and congresswomen are downright liars.

5 LIKES
3 HUGS
8 ME TOO


Daniel Goldman is so fucking sexy.

0 LIKES
1 HUGS
0 ME TOO

Got a letter saying my life insurance premium hasn't been paid. I called, and they said that was a mistake and the bill HAS been paid. Considering this company pays out $1 million if I die, you think they'd be more careful to not give me a heart attack!

7 LIKES
8 HUGS
1 ME TOO

My MIL does nothing for my kids but her daughters are such takers that I think she lumps me in with all the shit she does for them.

2 LIKES
9 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I do value animals more than most people. Stay mad.

5 LIKES
4 HUGS
7 ME TOO


I got a good one - and yet I still feel stabby when he pours the old tea bags in the sink for me to clean up.

14 LIKES
14 HUGS
24 ME TOO

No husband, having kids didn't make you fat. Your poor choices, constant drinking and general laziness made you fat.

18 LIKES
18 HUGS
10 ME TOO

I could smell my baby's stinky feet all day and love it. Motherhood is weird.

27 LIKES
7 HUGS
20 ME TOO

I just saw a ridiculously cheesy Xmas commercial with a father surprising his adult daughter with a gift and it was so cliche but my dad died a few months ago and now I'm bawling.

3 LIKES
81 HUGS
6 ME TOO


DH and I took a personality test. I am emotional, extroverted, and a big picture thinker while he is detail oriented, introverted, and analytical. It is the reason we can't see eye to eye...but both reports confirmed we are attracted to our opposites.

16 LIKES
11 HUGS
6 ME TOO

We have 5 cats. They're all well cared for, fixed & vaccinated, and we have plenty of room for them. Still, though, I can't help but feel that 5 is a bit exxcessive & irresponsible.

10 LIKES
25 HUGS
9 ME TOO

Being married means being the convenient target of DW's wrath when she's pissed over something or someone else who's not there for her to take it out on.

5 LIKES
35 HUGS
5 ME TOO

I say I want to lose weight for my health and that is true but part of my motivation is very petty. I want men to holler at me again and women to be jealous of me again.

9 LIKES
14 HUGS
40 ME TOO


I hate these pets. If I wanted to run around cleaning up bullshit messes for the rest of my life, I'd have more fucking kids.

11 LIKES
22 HUGS
13 ME TOO

Local news today. Man was hit and killed while changing a tire. Watch for traffic. K-9 unit was killed during pursuit and it was “heartbreaking news” Why have we put an animal’s life above a human’s? If I was his family, I’d be so insulted.

13 LIKES
27 HUGS
32 ME TOO

My kids aren't disrespectful at all. We just aren't an uptight family and playful banter is a regular thing for us.

30 LIKES
11 HUGS
32 ME TOO

I feel too lucky to have 3 perfectly healthy kids. Trying for a 4th makes me scared like this will be the stillborn , another miscarriage, a sick baby and I'm not strong enough to handle any of that while taking care of my 3 kids now.

2 LIKES
34 HUGS
4 ME TOO


I love my DH. Which is why it makes me sad that he has no idea that I'll be leaving him in about 5 years when I'm financially stable. Nothing personal against him, I'm just sick of being married.

11 LIKES
23 HUGS
12 ME TOO

Damn it I can’t let him have this control over me anymore. Don’t message me first thing in the morning under the guise of telling me I bring positivity to your life to turn around and snap at me for not being over your lies yet

3 LIKES
23 HUGS
3 ME TOO

I like to look through expensive home decor magazines & fantasize about living in a home that's big, clean, beautiful, & elegantly furnished & decorated. Then I come back to reality & look around my actual home that's the total opposite & get depressed.

6 LIKES
27 HUGS
33 ME TOO

During WW2 my grandma was a prostitute.

31 LIKES
28 HUGS
1 ME TOO


I wish my partner had a vasectomy, I'd be free to do as I want and please. It's not selfish to not create a life..

32 LIKES
15 HUGS
14 ME TOO

Doctors used to tell my mom she was a strong woman because of all the things she had been through. She was a prescription drug addict. She wasn't strong, she was weak.

4 LIKES
34 HUGS
4 ME TOO

Cat shit on the couch and a big ass spider in the sink. How's your morning going?

5 LIKES
40 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I wish the superhero movies would just stop. Most men can't be bothered to expend the energy required to be a decent human being, never mind a hero. How about some movies showing them how not to be a colossal disappointment to their wive and families?

64 LIKES
17 HUGS
21 ME TOO

You know we're there for you, mama, but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you. Learn More
You know we're there for you, mama,
but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you.
Learn More