CONFESSIONAL

I know immediately that a guy is not new to a relationship when his SO asks "Honey, are you busy?" and his response is a very suspicious and guarded "Why?"

It’s a vomit day at our house. And I caught a cold. Why did we go to an event in December? Why does everyone think this is such a great time to together? It’s cold and flu season and the weather is disastrous!

DH felt he had to point out that with his pupils taking up his entire eyeballs, Baby Yoda would be practically blind in all but the dimmest light. I felt I had to tell DH "He's cute. Now shut the fuck up"

I'm jealous of people with beautiful, graceful handwriting. My "penmanship", while legible, is just functional and plain - not at all elegant.

I am done.

Moving out 1 week from today. I pray she says something to me. Anything. It’s been 1 month. I was an asshole, but even assholes can be forgiven and they can recognize true change for themselves and the ones they love. I am doing it. I love you kid.

Tomorrow is my first ob appointment for my second pregnancy. I’m 5 months in. Couldn’t make myself go before, i was going through SEVRE prepartum depression - which is a REAL thing btw. Not that I’m better now... I’m coping better i guess.

Being home without my DH is the best. No response to my text. Screaming at the kids and MFing the dog. You are a great, great man sir. You SUCK!!

Everyone in my life has either left, died or doesn't give a f*&k all while telling me they do. FML!!

Hopefully this week will be a good one

90% of the reason I divorced exH is because he was selfish and refused to help \around the house, leaving me to work f/t and do EVERYTHING else. It made me sick. So I ditched him and got well. Fucking bliss to be rid of that dead weight, I tell you.

If I have to remind me husband of one more thing. Use your freaking google calendar dude!! I see women reminding men all the time. Even on TV shows. Perhaps we should just stop organizing and reminding everyone and enjoy our lives instead.

I don't understand people who are extremely wealthy and don't help the less fortunate as much as possible. Excuse me if I sound dumb, but what's the point of being rich if you keep it for yourself?

Been married over 20 years. Met someone 4 years ago who threw me for a loop. Nothing has ever happened, worked to improve marriage... I cry at the thought of what could have been. It’s heartbreaking that it will never happen

My MIL has a lot of siblings and they all seem to hate my guts. I strongly suspect she tells lies about me since she loves to gossip.

Dear friend, I like Andrew Yang too but you don't need to bring his name into every conversation. Lol

I know he's not exactly handsome, but I would absolutely fuck Lin Manuel Miranda.

My friend talks about "toxic" medications and food, but then she gobbles down benzos like they're going out of style.

I am not the least bit ashamed or apologetic about being a SAHM. I work hard, serve my family and community, honor my husband, and participate fully in my children's education and extracurricular activities. I also respect and applaud working moms 100%.

I told my friend I'm sorry but if you get a pitbull I will not bring my children to your house anymore. She threw a huge fit. I am not playing Russian roulette just because *most* pits refrain from murdering people. Also, I now think she's a total idiot.

I don't color my hair anymore; eyelashes, nails, lips & boobs are 100% natural. The only major mod I've made is straightening my teeth & you know what? I look pretty damn good for 42.

I always offer to help elderly people I see who are out shopping, whenever possible. Help them with groceries, bags, etc. My intentions are pure, but I wonder if I ever come off as creepy or like a potential scammer or something. I hope not.

Well now I've seen it all. First Cookie Monster had to start promoting vegetables in between his cookie binges. Now we have a slim, fit Santa Claus in the mall to promote a healthy lifestyle. I.CAN.NOT.

Inlaws sent a Christmas card out with DD's photos on them without our permission. NO!

My ADHD kid is so difficult, I can't stand it! Why does it have to be so hard?!

Home is my absolute favorite place to be in the whole world. The library is a close second.

I went WAY overboard for my kid’s Hanukkah presents this year. Don’t care. We donate to charities as well, and I don’t buy them much throughout the year other than necessities.

My cat’s been peeing in the house and I clean it really good so my DH doesn’t know. He wants to get rid of her but she is my kid’s cat and is the sweetest thing, other than the peeing thing.

I pop a Xanax before I volunteer at my kid’s school for stuff. Makes it so much more pleasant for this introvert mom.

Volunteered at my kid’s school book fair and spent more than the money I gave my kid to spend. I love the book fair!

It is possible to hate one' adult child. After a violent marriage, I raised my son alone and he lived in my home until he was 26 years old. Recently, he called me a POS because I refuse to accept the disrespectful girl he's with. I will never forgive him

I don't know what I did to deserve my husband. I'm pretty sure it was just "get unreasonably lucky"

I advised my sister out of aborting told her id adopt it. She was so cold hearted & matter of fact about it. 6 months later she's bawling like a baby regretting her choice. It is hard to feel bad for her cuz im angry for my aborted niece/nephew.

Maybe my estranged mother really is sorry & maybe she does have remorse, but I don't concern myself with that when I recall the beatings & abuse I had to withstand just because she wanted to be married.

I'm divorced and I like being single again, don't plan on ever dating again.

DH has a rage problem. Not when we argue but road rage, stubs his toe, etc and swears at/belittles me. Did it in front of 3mDD for the first time and I told him I finally realized it has to stop for her sake. He said it’s his personality and can’t change.

My husband works for a pool company cleaning pools. His ass has fallen into 3 pools so far and today his ass falls off the sea wall! I said maybe you need to get your balanced checked out. How the fuck do you keep falling in the water!! I just laugh!!

I've stopped repeating things to H. When he says "what was that?" I say "nothing" or "forget it". It's amazing how much better his hearing has gotten.

I am so annoyed with consumerism. Buy more junk every year and when you die, pay a service to come haul it all away to a landfill. Such a huge waste.

My husband is not "emotionally intelligent" at all. He does shit like let the kids watch scary movies and then gets mad at them for waking up scared in the middle of the night. It makes me want to strangle him...