Scary Mommy - Scary Mommy Confessions

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I escaped my ex's economic abuse! Divorce is WONDERFUL! No more messes, hoarding, bills being paid late. My modest apartment is clean and organized. Ah, heaven! Don't feel sorry for me for divorcing my ex. I am thrilled.

12 LIKES
4 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Met the most handsome man. Plus he's a sweetheart. I hope we become friends

5 LIKES
0 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I made sure "honor and obey" were not part of our (secular) marriage vows. That sounds like some medieval or ultra-religious bullshit to me.

7 LIKES
0 HUGS
12 ME TOO

I want plastic surgery because, though ppl say I’m very beautiful, I hate seeing my family reflected in my face. So many bad memories just from looking in the mirror...

0 LIKES
5 HUGS
1 ME TOO


I don't trust any man on the planet enough to be financially dependent on him. No way. Not even DH, who has never done a damn thing wrong.

2 LIKES
0 HUGS
5 ME TOO

The cat died so I just put it in a trash bag and out it goes for tomorrow's trash pick up, the cat was 23 years old.

0 LIKES
8 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I had an intense sex dream about a coworker and now I can't look at him. I don't even find him attractive at all. I'm just horny. Long distance relationships suck.

0 LIKES
2 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I am in complete denial that I have PPD and post partum rage.

0 LIKES
5 HUGS
1 ME TOO


I want to strangle my H every time he interrupts me while I'm talking.

1 LIKES
5 HUGS
5 ME TOO

We have a rule. "Unless they're doing something dangerous, destructive, or illegal, don't criticize how they do a chore". I created it, so I have to abide by the rule - but I didn't realize how HARD it is to NOT correct DH or "fix" it when he's "wrong".

3 LIKES
4 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I know immediately that a guy is not new to a relationship when his SO asks "Honey, are you busy?" and his response is a very suspicious and guarded "Why?"

11 LIKES
8 HUGS
3 ME TOO

It’s a vomit day at our house. And I caught a cold. Why did we go to an event in December? Why does everyone think this is such a great time to together? It’s cold and flu season and the weather is disastrous!

4 LIKES
21 HUGS
4 ME TOO


DH felt he had to point out that with his pupils taking up his entire eyeballs, Baby Yoda would be practically blind in all but the dimmest light. I felt I had to tell DH "He's cute. Now shut the fuck up"

9 LIKES
2 HUGS
2 ME TOO

I'm jealous of people with beautiful, graceful handwriting. My "penmanship", while legible, is just functional and plain - not at all elegant.

7 LIKES
8 HUGS
26 ME TOO

I am done.

0 LIKES
20 HUGS
14 ME TOO

Moving out 1 week from today. I pray she says something to me. Anything. It’s been 1 month. I was an asshole, but even assholes can be forgiven and they can recognize true change for themselves and the ones they love. I am doing it. I love you kid.

0 LIKES
15 HUGS
1 ME TOO


Tomorrow is my first ob appointment for my second pregnancy. I’m 5 months in. Couldn’t make myself go before, i was going through SEVRE prepartum depression - which is a REAL thing btw. Not that I’m better now... I’m coping better i guess.

2 LIKES
32 HUGS
0 ME TOO

Being home without my DH is the best. No response to my text. Screaming at the kids and MFing the dog. You are a great, great man sir. You SUCK!!

1 LIKES
8 HUGS
1 ME TOO

Everyone in my life has either left, died or doesn't give a f*&k all while telling me they do. FML!!

0 LIKES
8 HUGS
6 ME TOO

Hopefully this week will be a good one

7 LIKES
8 HUGS
11 ME TOO


90% of the reason I divorced exH is because he was selfish and refused to help \around the house, leaving me to work f/t and do EVERYTHING else. It made me sick. So I ditched him and got well. Fucking bliss to be rid of that dead weight, I tell you.

18 LIKES
4 HUGS
8 ME TOO

If I have to remind me husband of one more thing. Use your freaking google calendar dude!! I see women reminding men all the time. Even on TV shows. Perhaps we should just stop organizing and reminding everyone and enjoy our lives instead.

10 LIKES
0 HUGS
6 ME TOO

I don't understand people who are extremely wealthy and don't help the less fortunate as much as possible. Excuse me if I sound dumb, but what's the point of being rich if you keep it for yourself?

14 LIKES
5 HUGS
35 ME TOO

Been married over 20 years. Met someone 4 years ago who threw me for a loop. Nothing has ever happened, worked to improve marriage... I cry at the thought of what could have been. It’s heartbreaking that it will never happen

0 LIKES
11 HUGS
5 ME TOO


My MIL has a lot of siblings and they all seem to hate my guts. I strongly suspect she tells lies about me since she loves to gossip.

0 LIKES
9 HUGS
6 ME TOO

Dear friend, I like Andrew Yang too but you don't need to bring his name into every conversation. Lol

4 LIKES
2 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I know he's not exactly handsome, but I would absolutely fuck Lin Manuel Miranda.

3 LIKES
0 HUGS
4 ME TOO

My friend talks about "toxic" medications and food, but then she gobbles down benzos like they're going out of style.

4 LIKES
5 HUGS
1 ME TOO


I am not the least bit ashamed or apologetic about being a SAHM. I work hard, serve my family and community, honor my husband, and participate fully in my children's education and extracurricular activities. I also respect and applaud working moms 100%.

43 LIKES
3 HUGS
24 ME TOO

I told my friend I'm sorry but if you get a pitbull I will not bring my children to your house anymore. She threw a huge fit. I am not playing Russian roulette just because *most* pits refrain from murdering people. Also, I now think she's a total idiot.

16 LIKES
9 HUGS
7 ME TOO

I don't color my hair anymore; eyelashes, nails, lips & boobs are 100% natural. The only major mod I've made is straightening my teeth & you know what? I look pretty damn good for 42.

17 LIKES
4 HUGS
0 ME TOO

I always offer to help elderly people I see who are out shopping, whenever possible. Help them with groceries, bags, etc. My intentions are pure, but I wonder if I ever come off as creepy or like a potential scammer or something. I hope not.

6 LIKES
7 HUGS
5 ME TOO


Well now I've seen it all. First Cookie Monster had to start promoting vegetables in between his cookie binges. Now we have a slim, fit Santa Claus in the mall to promote a healthy lifestyle. I.CAN.NOT.

10 LIKES
7 HUGS
13 ME TOO

Inlaws sent a Christmas card out with DD's photos on them without our permission. NO!

4 LIKES
14 HUGS
1 ME TOO

My ADHD kid is so difficult, I can't stand it! Why does it have to be so hard?!

2 LIKES
32 HUGS
17 ME TOO

Home is my absolute favorite place to be in the whole world. The library is a close second.

50 LIKES
4 HUGS
56 ME TOO


I went WAY overboard for my kid’s Hanukkah presents this year. Don’t care. We donate to charities as well, and I don’t buy them much throughout the year other than necessities.

35 LIKES
7 HUGS
10 ME TOO

My cat’s been peeing in the house and I clean it really good so my DH doesn’t know. He wants to get rid of her but she is my kid’s cat and is the sweetest thing, other than the peeing thing.

4 LIKES
26 HUGS
1 ME TOO

I pop a Xanax before I volunteer at my kid’s school for stuff. Makes it so much more pleasant for this introvert mom.

42 LIKES
14 HUGS
8 ME TOO

Volunteered at my kid’s school book fair and spent more than the money I gave my kid to spend. I love the book fair!

25 LIKES
5 HUGS
8 ME TOO

You know we're there for you, mama, but if you're struggling,
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You know we're there for you, mama,
but if you're struggling,
there are people who can help you.
Learn More