Constance Hall explains why moms can always use a break
It’s so easy for moms to forget that they’re people too and as such, deserving of the occasional breather.
Blogger Constance Hall says that although the day-to-day tasks of motherhood are tough, it’s not really the reason we all deserve a little quiet time. It’s because those day-to-day tasks literally never end. Hall says it’s the “relentless” nature of motherhood that makes us need breaks. And she’s absolutely right.
In a recent Facebook post, Hall outlines all the shit we deal with on a daily basis and makes a very strong case for moms getting a little time to themselves. Because we know that in the morning, whatever we dealt with the day before will happen all over again.
She writes, “Mums don’t need a break because of the 7 loads of dishes that we have to do a day. Or the piles of clothes that our toddlers demolish immediately after I’ve folded. Or the nights that we don’t even get a solid half hour sleep. Or even the small stain of shit that we didn’t know was smeared on our dress before we leave the house at a failed attempt to adult. We need breaks because of the relentlessness.”
Phew. Roger that. I broke out in hives just reading this.
“Because knowing that tomorrow there will be 7 more piles of dishes today. Because knowing that tonight, tomorrow night and every night for the foreseeable future…there will be no sleep again. Because knowing that tomorrow if there is not shit smear it will be spew chunks, or a long stream of green snot wiped on my new jumper.”
That damn shit smear. And back in my days of breastfeeding a baby with reflux, spit-up. Every day presented a new opportunity for my son to destroy an item from my wardrobe, and the child did not disappoint. And back in those crazy days with an infant and a toddler, I can remember the frightful downward spiral in my head as I frantically scrubbed away at each puke spot. That awful feeling of “Wow, this is horrible…and will totally happen again tomorrow.”
Hall truly nailed it. It’s the knowledge that you’ll wake up to all the same garbage the next day that makes motherhood exactly as she describes it — relentless.
It sounds like that shit smear was the straw that broke Hall’s back, as she says she forgot her jumper at a cafe and headed back to her “god dam messy house that I couldn’t be fucked cleaning because I was toocunting tired.”
Can we make “toocunting” a thing, please? It’s just toocunting perfect.
A quick perusal of Hall’s Facebook page shows that she’s currently on a 3-day weekend with her husband, sans kids. Hence, the great photo of her lounging pool-side with a much-deserved drink. She writes, “Mums need breaks so that we can Mum properly. Love properly. Live properly.”
And she would be absolutely right. My breaks come in the form of lengthy gym trips and time spent reading alone on a bench at the park. If I don’t get those breaks, I am a total asshole to everyone in my house. Thankfully, my husband and children know it and are sure to give me space when I need it. It’s for everyone’s benefit.
Now that I’ve been at this mothering thing for a while, I’m not afraid to say that I’m about to lose my shit and need some quiet. When they were little, I was so focused on being the best mother I could be that I frequently forgot I existed too and was every bit as deserving as the rest of my family when it came to being taken care of.
I wish Hall had been around during those years so I could’ve read her wisdom. Every mom needs breaks. And sometimes, all we need is someone to remind us exactly why.