Chaperoning fifth-graders is a tough job, as this dad learned the hard way
When you think of your idea of fun, surely one of the first things that comes to mind is spending two hours on board a bus with 60 fifth-graders, only one of which is actually your own child. Just kidding, that sounds like hell, which is exactly what one UK dad learned when he pulled the totally amateur move of agreeing to chaperone a trip to the science museum for his daughter’s class.
As anyone who’s chaperoned a class trip before knows, this isn’t going to be a good time. And parents on Twitter are cackling over this poor dad, Simon Smith, who live-tweeted the entire experience of discovering that for himself.
I’ve got a treat for you tomorrow. I’m live tweeting adulting on a School Trip to the Science Museum. Coach Trip. 60 Year 5’s. SCENES
— Simon Smith (@simonfromharlow) May 20, 2018
Before the trip even starts, there are a million things to do, and Smith quickly learns that prepping 60 kids for a two-hour bus ride is very much like herding cats.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998470432176123904 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998470668500029447 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998472868160856064 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998474515477946368
And once all the kids are on the bus, before it even takes off, there are yet more hurdles to overcome.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998475776063365120 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998476687766585344
Finally, the bus sets off. And as every parent knows, it’s basically anarchy onboard a bus where it seems 10-year-olds outnumber adults by 60 to one.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998478484996435968 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998479266072408064
In particular, Smith takes note of the fact that the kids’ lunches aren’t making it to lunchtime, and that 10-year-olds aren’t exactly skilled conversationalists.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998479854625533952 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998480920511500288
Oh, and obviously farts, because what bus full of 10-year-olds won’t also be full of farts? It’s a given. Poor dude. Someone should have warned him.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998482637395255302
Of course, farts aren’t the only bodily function a bus chaperone needs to be worried about.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998484161169108992 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998484431680819200
But of course, at this age, farts will rise above all others.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998485470291156992 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998486110690004992
In between the farts, of course, Smith experiences the harsh judgement of his own child, and more 10-year-old boy conversation.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998486974112632832 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998489932481073153 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998496184149991424 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998498042688036864 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998503074569256960
Finally, the bus arrives at the science museum. But is that the end of the day’s hardships for Smith? Parents, all together now: Of fucking course it’s not.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998514198396243968 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998514541280550912 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998516428130091010
We can feel every bit of his pain in this brief video clip.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998523811174723585 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998531271511994368
Lunchtime rolls around, and obviously that’s not going to be a fun time, because remember how many of the kids ate their lunches on the bus on the way to the museum?https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998536860107407360 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998549507913723905 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998551107730333696 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998554106980700160
Finally, the museum tour ends. But is that the blissful end for Smith and his chaperone duties? Oh no it is not. There’s still a two-hour bus ride back home. At least this means one more parent is learning what horrors school staff have to deal with on a daily basis.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998561777934913537 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998570631405989888 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998585739813294081 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998588918567235584 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998589089388617728
And finally, it’s over.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998595382719537153 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998597633424883712 https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998601361691480064
An innocent soul referenced the “next time” this happens. His reply says it all.https://twitter.com/jetpack/status/998680039972589568
Congrats to Smith on surviving, and Godspeed to the countless parents who will fall into the trap of agreeing to chaperone field trips in the future. It’s a game that nobody wins, but we’ll always appreciate the brave souls who stand up to the challenge.