Chaperoning fifth-graders is a tough job, as this dad learned the hard way
When you think of your idea of fun, surely one of the first things that comes to mind is spending two hours on board a bus with 60 fifth-graders, only one of which is actually your own child. Just kidding, that sounds like hell, which is exactly what one UK dad learned when he pulled the totally amateur move of agreeing to chaperone a trip to the science museum for his daughter’s class.
As anyone who’s chaperoned a class trip before knows, this isn’t going to be a good time. And parents on Twitter are cackling over this poor dad, Simon Smith, who live-tweeted the entire experience of discovering that for himself.
I’ve got a treat for you tomorrow. I’m live tweeting adulting on a School Trip to the Science Museum. Coach Trip. 60 Year 5’s. SCENES
— Simon Smith (@simonfromharlow) May 20, 2018
Before the trip even starts, there are a million things to do, and Smith quickly learns that prepping 60 kids for a two-hour bus ride is very much like herding cats.
And once all the kids are on the bus, before it even takes off, there are yet more hurdles to overcome.
Finally, the bus sets off. And as every parent knows, it’s basically anarchy onboard a bus where it seems 10-year-olds outnumber adults by 60 to one.
In particular, Smith takes note of the fact that the kids’ lunches aren’t making it to lunchtime, and that 10-year-olds aren’t exactly skilled conversationalists.
Oh, and obviously farts, because what bus full of 10-year-olds won’t also be full of farts? It’s a given. Poor dude. Someone should have warned him.
Of course, farts aren’t the only bodily function a bus chaperone needs to be worried about.
But of course, at this age, farts will rise above all others.
In between the farts, of course, Smith experiences the harsh judgement of his own child, and more 10-year-old boy conversation.
Finally, the bus arrives at the science museum. But is that the end of the day’s hardships for Smith? Parents, all together now: Of fucking course it’s not.
We can feel every bit of his pain in this brief video clip.
Lunchtime rolls around, and obviously that’s not going to be a fun time, because remember how many of the kids ate their lunches on the bus on the way to the museum?
Finally, the museum tour ends. But is that the blissful end for Smith and his chaperone duties? Oh no it is not. There’s still a two-hour bus ride back home. At least this means one more parent is learning what horrors school staff have to deal with on a daily basis.
And finally, it’s over.
An innocent soul referenced the “next time” this happens. His reply says it all.
Congrats to Smith on surviving, and Godspeed to the countless parents who will fall into the trap of agreeing to chaperone field trips in the future. It’s a game that nobody wins, but we’ll always appreciate the brave souls who stand up to the challenge.