Fiona the hippo was asked out on a date by a fellow hippo admirer
Everyone’s favorite hippo, Fiona, might have met her true love match. Timothy the hippo, a possible suitor from the San Antonio Zoo, took to Twitter to let the world know he’s willing to re-locate to Cincinnati to meet our girl Fiona.
Naturally, the internet is having a field day with this news. Because in 2018, the only place we can collectively find joy is via Hippo Tinder fodder.
Earlier this week, Timothy said he’d checked out Fiona’s pictures and videos, and he thinks she “is the most beautiful hippopotamus I have ever seen.”
My name is Timothy. I have seen you on the internet at the @CincinnatiZoo & you are the most beautiful hippo I have ever seen! Perhaps we can meet someday and be boyfriend and girlfriend? I am single and available. #HippoSwipeRight #TeamFiona
— San Antonio Zoo & Zoo School🦏 (@SanAntonioZoo) March 8, 2018
Asking if he can swoop in and claim her relationship status — bold move, right? Calm down, Timothy. On behalf of Fiona, the Cincinnatti Zoo’s PR team let Timothy know she’s interested while also gently reminding him who will really run the show in their relationship.
Fiona thinks you’re cute too, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Your DNA will decide if you’re the one for our little diva. Any potential mate would have to be ok w/ taking a back seat. Are you ok w/paparazzi? Most importantly, are you willing to relocate to Cincinnati? https://t.co/7XFCiYnyz7
— Cincinnati Zoo (@CincinnatiZoo) March 9, 2018
The responses to this budding hippopota-romance (yep, went there) ranged from delightfully charming to downright dirty. Because while it’s fun to pretend there’s some sort of heteronormative courtship happening here, there’s really only one reason Timothy and Fiona would ever get together: to ensure the reproduction of more hippopotamuses (hippopotami?).
I just wish he would’ve messaged her privately :/— kendal (@kendallakez) March 10, 2018
Fiona needs love!! Don’t deny her this!— axelrod (@greendaygurl) March 9, 2018
Not to be rude Timothy but if you break our Fiona’s heart you will pay https://t.co/EBytkZYrKj
— Kambria, Like The Font (@KambriaPowell) March 10, 2018
Some people were utterly charmed by the entire exchange.
OH MY COOKIES. Fiona is ON-LINE DATING. https://t.co/8KCGsgc7B1
— MommyUnit of Stop the Madness (@MommyUnit) March 11, 2018
this is so pure i wanna cry https://t.co/xQqPTyI1Gj
— hey u thicc hoe (@sagarisvall) March 11, 2018
— TrumpNeck (@Francis_3) March 9, 2018
While others were… less subtle about the realities of this “romance.”
Shooters shoot https://t.co/TNmEYjiA1J
— Bucee #1 in America (@KawhiSoSerious) March 8, 2018
My girl Fiona bout to get that back blown out https://t.co/QQylzNAZoc
— Shakira (@jodecicry) March 10, 2018
LOL. Methinks we are all having way too much fun with this.
While it remains to be seen if these two crazy kids will make a “go” of it — long distance relationships can be tough at first — but one thing is for sure, unlike most of his sex, Timothy isn’t in this to play mind games.
What type of Hippo is Timothy?— Michelle Cortez (@MoonStarATX) March 8, 2018
A confident one.— Raymond White Jr. (@SA_shaggy) March 9, 2018