Kids are disgusting. True story. They are forever making messes, and no matter what they do, they seem to end up sticky and covered in total filth. Mother Nature was smart to make kids so darn cute; otherwise, they wouldn’t survive.
Another truth is that despite the incredible level of grossness that kids will sink to in the name of fun, moms will surely find most of it pretty damn adorable. Don’t believe me? I’m willing to bet you find these 8 gross things that your kids do totally charming.
1. Burps and Toots
Although I give the stink eye to my husband when he burps the alphabet to make the kids laugh or rips a death fart, I never fail to giggle when my little kids try to do it too. An adult-sized belch or toot emanating from a pint-sized person is just plain funny.
2. Covered In Food
Yogurt face mask or spaghetti hair treatment anyone? Babies learning how to eat (and failing) is probably one of the most adorably disgusting things about childhood. Hands splashing in a cup of milk, peanut butter slathered on cheeks, a cracker lodged in an ear – they all happen, and chances are you’ve taken a picture of it and uploaded it to Facebook.
3. Covered In Dirt
Kids love dirty, icky, sticky, gloppy, smelly things. This is why parents fill diaper bags with 18 changes of clothes and bulk packages of baby wipes. Trying to keep a kid clean is a Sisyphean feat of energy and planning. Still, kids with grass stains or markers all over their arms are pretty damn endearing.
4. Peeing Outside
Boys LOVE to pee outside. There is not a tree, bush, or flowering shrub in my yard that my boys have not yet attempted to water with their pee. Sure, it’s downright offensive and deplorable for a civilized person to pee on stuff, but when that someone is 2-year-old boy figuring out his equipment, it’s gosh darn sweet.
5. Eating With Their Hands
Even if they don’t make a total mess while eating with their hands, it is really cute to watch children try to figure out a new food by using their fingers instead of chopsticks or a fork. Have you ever seen a kid attempt to eat soup with his hands?
6. Playing With Dead Bugs
This one never fails to make me both gag and laugh at the same time. A fearless toddler picking up a dead beetle or a live moth is just freaking adorable. Everywhere around these kids are completely new experiences that lack bias and apprehension.
7. Toddler Kisses
How cute is it when a sweet little baby turns into a toddler and begins to give kisses?! HEART MELTING OVER HERE! Those same smooches are generally goopy wet kisses that leave a puddle of spit on your cheek. But who cares?!
8. Sharing With The Family Dog
Nothing is more disgusting than a small kid letting the family dog take a lick or nibble from the crushed donut in his chubby clutches. Yuck! And yet every time I see my toddler do this I think, “Aww he is learning to share. So cute!”
Between the mud pies, the dead bugs, and the lollipop sticky all stuck in the hair, there is not much room for getting upset over the cleanup process – because little tykes are just so cute.