A 12-Ft Lawn Skeleton Exists So You Can Freak The F*ck Out Of Your Neighbors

Halloween 2020: Go big or go home with this ridiculously giant skeleton

If you’re ready to go balls-to-the-walls for Halloween this year, might we suggest this 12-foot yard skeleton that tells every passerby, “It’s 2020. Get the fuck off my lawn.”

Home Depot is upping the Halloween game this year, not only with this skeleton, but a whole host of other items we’d file under “large, scary, pricey, and large.” The skeleton is scary enough in its own right but also comes with moving, blinking eyes and adjustable limbs to add to the fact that you have a 12-foot skeleton in your yard.

Sure, the decor will set you back $300, but it’s the “spine-tingling centerpiece” that every lawn deserves. “This Giant-Sized Skeleton is the statement piece for your Halloween scene,” the product description reads. “LCD realistic eyes appear to move and blink as it activates. Comes with durable metal frame and ground stakes for stability,” which is good for those windy fall nights. Because no one, and I mean no one, can handle a 12-foot skeleton blowing aimlessly around the neighborhood right now.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Man, I can’t really handle 12-feet of scariness but feel comfortable in the 7-foot range,” the retailer has you covered there as well. You can get a trio of monsters for the same price as one skeleton, and the “characters move in sync when activated by remote,” just like the GOP-led Senate.

If you’re living in a neighborhood full of little ones, you can go a little less horror-y but still feel like you’re contributing to the Ridiculously Large Lawn Decor theme that seems to be happening this year. This ten-and-a-half-foot Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas can be yours for the low, low price of $150.

The CDC recently issued guidelines for a safe Halloween this year during a pandemic, and they did recommend low and moderate risk ideas including “admire Halloween decorations at a distance.” I think all of these options could most definitely be seen from a safe distance.

If you’re still not sold on any of the above, might we interest you in a seven-foot tall werewolf? It can be yours for a cool $200 and it’s “spooky howl provides frightening fun for passersby.” As someone who recently severely sprained an ankle because a frog jumped on my foot, I’d say speak for yourself.

Back to the ginormous skeleton for a moment. For nothing else, it may make sense to buy it only for the looks you’d get from the store to your place of residence as pictured in the hilarious tweet below.

You really can’t go wrong adding one of these to your Halloween decor repertoire this year. I think it’s the very least we can do for ourselves.