Envious of the holiday vacations to warm beaches and sunshine that you won’t be enjoying this winter break? Here are seven reasons to be happy that you are staying home…
1. Sunscreen and sand. And putting sunscreen on your 5 year old who is wiggling in the sand. Sunscreen in the eyes, sand in the mouth and hair. Don’t forget the sand that makes it back on the plane with you in your bag to find its way onto your floor once you get home.
2. Flying on an airplane at Christmas time. Enough said.
3. Hotel food. $100 for a mini bag of crackers in the room or $30 for pancakes downstairs in the restaurant. Bringing your own snacks? Great, you have a two hour window in which to open, eat and finish before the ants come.
4. At home you’re set up and are allowed small periods of time in which no one needs you. Not so on “vacation” when you are on ALL THE TIME.
5. Staying at your parents or in-laws? Getting on an airplane to go stay at someone else’s non baby-proofed house where you still have to cook and clean is NOT a vacation. It’s a punishment.
6. All of the pictures posted on social media are bullshit. We all know those kids were fighting mere moments before the picture was taken and will snatch the toys from each other as soon as the camera is put down. Really, it took the “I have lost my mind” shout from mom to dull them into submissive smiles for a few snapshots.
7. You don’t have to squeeze your pale December body into a bathing suit.