A new gadget lets you transmit a kiss through your iPhone
Long-distance relationships are hard, everyone knows that. Now, thanks to a new gadget that connects to your iPhone and allows you to send your kiss to another person, they’re disgusting too!
An article on Mashable heralds the arrival of The Kissenger, a ‘kiss messenger’ that replicates your kiss for you, then transmits it to a paired device, presumably one being held by your loved one and not some rando you’re hitting up on Plenty of Fish.
— Boing Boing (@BoingBoing) December 31, 2016
The thing is basically a dock you sit your phone in, with a silicone pad on it that you press your lips into. The pressure you exert is transmitted to the pad on the other end, so when it’s held up to a cheek or lips (or, I suppose, any other part of your body you want to mash your phone onto?), it replicates the pressure sensation back to the recipient’s designated body part. Finally, true intimacy! If only a little bit creepy-as-FUCK.
But don’t go rushing to the store just yet! The Kissenger, designed by City University London’s Imagineering Lab, is just a prototype, and only works for iOS devices. All you lovelorn Android users will have to live out your lonely little lives without the bizarre sensation that comes with a silicone pad pushing pistons into your face. Suckas!
Technology offers us all manner of ways to connect with other people, from social media and Skype to dating apps and Ashley Madison.com. Now we’re getting to the next generation of tech, with things like Virtual Reality becoming actual reality, and innovations like the Kissenger attempting to bring something physical to our increasingly digital daily lives. It seems like a natural step, if a bit unnatural in execution.
I love my phone. But even I know that thing is filthy to the point of being a biohazard. The literal last thing I want to do, no matter how far aware my soulmate may be at the time, is put that petri dish up against my mouth.
But hey, everybody needs someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve. Knock yourselves out. Just have some bleach nearby.