Maisy’s Housecleaning Service

The worst puppy in the world

Is your house cluttered, messy or in need of a makeover? Maisy is here to help!

Open your doors to this five month old pup, and watch your belongings vanish in an instant!.

Your kid’s clothes will be ripped to shreds! Old magazines eaten like bacon! Furniture that needed updating anyway will literally disappear before your very eyes!

Having trouble deciding which of your belongings to keep and which to toss? Maisy will swoop in without abandon and make that decision for you! No more hemming and hawing or sentimental attachment; Maisy will enter your home and immediately get to work. You’ll swear she’s a machine!

You might question her choices, but don’t: There is a method to her madness! Those brand new jeans really weren’t all that flattering on you and your kid could certainly benefit from doing his or her homework three times. Maisy knows best!.

Maisy’s services are available daily from 9AM-4PM. Don’t delay!..

{Maisy will not be held responsible for the destruction of baseboards, rugs, photo albums, baby books, one of a kind antiques, school projects, manuscripts, expensive shoes, new winter coats, unread newspapers, rolls of toilet paper or important receipts. Use at your own risk.} 

About the writer

@scarymommy

In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

From Around the Web

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Alice 3 months ago

hahhaa, that’s o funny! Your post really made my day! Thank you for sharing this sweet furry house cleaners!

Maid Service Austin 3 years ago

Oh! Maisy is so cute! I wouldn’t mind if she’ll damage my belongings, I would love her to be my pet, my bestfriend. :)

Nicole Martel 3 years ago

Ah… I so don’t miss the puppy phase. I went through this phase twice and you’re not kidding… they chew EVERYTHING! You’ll learn real quick to pick up after yourselves :)

Kristen Brakeman 3 years ago

Just too adorable. Hard to be mad at that face huh? Those milk teeth hurt huh!

ReeAnn Young 3 years ago

Both my little wiener dogs are constantly cleaning up after my 2 year old.

Johanna 3 years ago

Thank you very much for that gut check. We’re sticking with the hamster!

Carrie 3 years ago

Oh, she is precious! But also, thanks for the reminder I don’t want a dog right now. LOL! I had a super crazy (psycho!) thought that it might be fun to surprise the kids with a puppy for Christmas (WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!) but then I decided to wait until next year, or at least until my daughter is potty-trained. Like I need any more poop to clean up around here!

But wow, is she cute!

Kiran@Masalachica 3 years ago

But how much does she charge? And does she charge extra if I ask her to take out the trash?

Deneen 3 years ago

Love Maisey!! I could use the company during the day!

Deneen 3 years ago

Love Maisey!! I could use the company during the day!

Jackie Hennessey 3 years ago

You crack me up! I LOVE this. Thank God she’s cute, right?
Welcome to my world 3 years ago when our Golden Retriever was just a puppy. Marley Miles has eaten through rugs, chair legs, table legs, baseboards, homework (yes, my son told his teacher his dog ate his homework!) and I about lost it when he ate through the inside of my brown leather sofa. The one that can’t get dirty because it’s the color of crap! Send her to my house and my dog will take care of her & show her a few more tricks, I’m sure. 😉

Tracy Larson 3 years ago

Remember when all those moms said “enjoy every minute with the little ones, it goes by so fast”? Do puppies also fall into that category? I’m with you as we have a 4 month old puppy who is all teeth…

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

I need her services for my husband’s closet. Maybe she knows how to deal with those old Iron Maiden t-shirts.

wendy @ mama one to three 3 years ago

hysterical and adorable. the best kind of post.

Kim at Not My Mom’s Blog 3 years ago

I’m trying to purge my wardrobe of all the jeans that make my ass look huge. Do you think Maisy could swing by this weekend?

Holly@ClubThrifty 3 years ago

Ugh, my dog is making me crazy right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shell 3 years ago

I haven’t given in to the “please get us a puppy” pleas yet. And I think I’m glad!

heather 3 years ago

yep. sounds familiar. when bella was a pup, she actually got into my purse and pulled out a couple important papers and shredded them. keep your purse zipped! nobody ever warns you about PUPPIES geting into your purse!

Lynn Kellan 3 years ago

When our puppy ate my 8 year-old’s toy that was recently bought at a bazaar, she was in the “doghouse.” I couldn’t really blame her, though, because the toy was made out of a dog biscuit!

Lu 3 years ago

And if anyone is wondering my daughter is 25 and she has probably replaced all of her underwear at least three times!

Lu 3 years ago

Cutest dog ever! Our dog eats my daughters underwear…no joke! Our cocker spaniel will dig in her laundry basket and pull out her underwear.

Old School/New School Mom 3 years ago

She is pure amazingness.

Jamie 3 years ago

I want that puppy!!!!!!! And I don’t believe a word of it. Look at that face!

Tia 3 years ago

I keep hearing about how terrible toddlerhood can be terrible…I’ve survived 3 puppyhoods, so I’m wondering which is worse…? I have a 5 month old daughter. :)

Marta 3 years ago

You know this will make moving soooo much easier. When can Maisy stop by?

Rebeccah 3 years ago

That face. Oh my…

Amy 3 years ago

That face!!!!!! Even so, I’ll pass. :)

Carrie 3 years ago

Her first cousin lives at my house. He’s a Boxer and chewed/ate everything he could get his teeth on.

Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife 3 years ago

Don’t forget Maisy’s Modeling Service…when you’re family & friends are fed up with your shutterbugging and run screaming whenever they see you wielding a camera, Maisy will save the day with her overwhelming cuteness, floppy ears and charming head tilts.

Jennifer 3 years ago

And with the added bonus that she’s adorable.

Kerrie 3 years ago

Ahhh, the joys of puppyhood! Our two rescue mutts, ages 1 and 3 yrs., have respectable “house cleaning” skills as well. The younger one has a “gift” with shoes, boots, flip flops, slippers, and anything foot related. The older one is practicing “interior design” with his uncanny gift on finding, slobbering on, and then leaving ALL throughout the house various stuffed animals. For every stuffed animal we find, however, he makes up for in the various wrappers, pencils, toilet paper rolls, food leftovers, etc. he quickly inhales never to be seen from again (unless puked on whatever carpet he can find if the mood strikes him.) With that said, as frustrating as it gets to keep track of two more moving, breathing bodies in our household, their addition of huggable, squeezable, furry, and fun love is worth it.

Kiinu 3 years ago

Awwwe!

We’ve done that, I have/had (she lives at my mothers, I used to too) a puppy named Baylee, she has stopped chewing stuff for the most part, but when she was a puppy… she chewed through the house.

My mother had to put her lead out farther from the house, because she chewed through the siding and insulation and drywall so that she could go in an out of the breezeway as she pleased! No door needed!

Julia 3 years ago

I so remember those puppy days and crying when mine ate brand new black pumps .

adrian 3 years ago

Oh man, I had that dog! You have my sympathies. Ours never got better and after he ate a mattress, a 50 foot hose, the wiring off our house, the bra off my husband’s car, and everything else he could get his mouth on, he started using my son for a chew toy. That’s when we showed him the door. He was a purebred Golden Retriever, so we found a breeder who would take him because no family in their right mind would adopt him. I’m hoping he calmed down after he got a bit older and had someone who was more experienced to train him. What a nightmare dog!

Stephanie 3 years ago

But look at that face!!!!!

Kacerpie 3 years ago

If Maisy is looking to go bi-coastal with her service my 13 week old boxer can handle the west coast.

starladear 3 years ago

THAT innocent face wreaking havoc? ;~)

Karen 3 years ago

My little demon is just over a year and has destroyed countless things – including the entire bottom of our boxspring mattress. Her latest fascination – pens & markers! Can’t tell you how many pairs of shoes she’s ruined.
But that sweet face & snuggly personality keeps her around!

Nikki 3 years ago

Oh how I can relate. My cute ass puppy is a pain in my ASS. Also 5 months. Why did we get puppies again???

Alison 3 years ago

She totally gets away with everything doesn’t she?
So adorable.

Dawn 3 years ago

..and this is why I read your blog first thing every morning! Laughter IS the way to start the day! I have a blue heeler pup who steals socks from the laundry baskets, just socks,….now if only I could get him to put them in the washer….. Have a Great Day!

Andrea 3 years ago

Sounds like my world, ate through a vacuum power cord in about 30 seconds.

Jacki 3 years ago

This is why we adopt dogs that are at over the age of one.

The Sadder But Wiser Girl 3 years ago

My big overgrown puppy is ready to go into “biznizz” with Maisy. I’m convinced that he is part dog, part goat. I’m a cat person who was talked into getting this dog. He’s sweet, he’s cute, but can’t be left alone with anything that he can get his big mouth around for more than 15 seconds.

Eddie – The Usual Mayhem 3 years ago

Oh yeah, that sounds really familiar. The first year we had one of our dogs, the rescue we got her from (who had called for regular check-ins) sent us a card reading “Merry Christmas, and we hope your basement stairs survive the holidays”!