Lifestyle

10 Other Kinds of March Madness for Parents Who Don't Follow Basketball

by Liza Wyles
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Originally Published: 

1. OVER-SCHEDULED. March is the only month of the current school year with no holidays, so every single parent workshop, conference, field trip and fundraiser is jammed in. Carpal tunnel syndrome develops from signing an unprecedented number of permission slips.

2. OUT OF TIME. For those of us working parents who just blew our wad of vacation days on February recess, we best clock overtime this month to bank some days off when the kids are out of school in April for spring break. Good luck making that math work as you already put in for multiple half-days in March to cover all of the school’s events.

3. OUT LIKE A LAMB? Winter on the East Coast was brutal this year. Painfully cold and caked in filthy ice that sat on our streets for months. The first day of spring is was Friday, March 20th. Weather: snow.

4. BUT WEATHER BE DAMNED! March is when we sign up for summer camp! April is too late! Because the prices go up!

5. EVEN MORE OVER-SCHEDULED. Birthday parties—all weekend, every weekend. You never got the memo that June was the designated sexy time for procreators.

6. SLEEP-DEPRIVED. Daylight Savings Time, a.k.a. That Which Will Undo Any Success You Have Had Putting Your Kids to Bed.

7. RISKING SCURVY? You’re dying for any seasonal produce that isn’t squash. So you spend $8 on strawberries. They’re not that good, but you want more—then you realize this is not sustainable for the planet or your wallet.

8. OUTGROWN. Nothing fits. The kids have suddenly grown three feet over the course of the winter. So you have to find a way to clothe them until it’s warm enough to break out the spring hand-me-downs. You try to make the “Mom’s belted t-shirt” look work for your pre-schooler.

9. OVERWHELMED. With the state tests and participatory school budgeting deadlines approaching next month, your social media feeds are buzzing with opportunities for you to weigh in on this and opt out of that. This is important stuff and you follow your convictions, but not before becoming equally annoyed and saddened by the horrible spelling in the comments by similarly impassioned parents.

10. OUTDATED. You have officially run out of excuses for why your December holiday decorations are still up.

And your reward for getting through the March madness to April? Taxes.

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