Everyone needs to listen to what Margot Robbie has to say when it comes to asking women when they’re having kids
Margot Robbie is extremely over being asked when she’s going to have a baby. The actress, who was married in 2016, says most interviews lead with that question — and she’s not having it anymore.
Robbie, who is currently promoting her latest film Mary Queen of Scots, recently touched upon being able to relate to her character, Queen Elizabeth I, when it comes to the matter of reproduction. The queen herself never produced an heir, and Robbie says the pressure that was placed on her character was incredibly unfair.
“It made me really angry. How dare some old guy dictate what I can and can’t do when it comes to motherhood or my own body?” she tells Radio Times. “Unfortunately, it’s a conversation we’re still having.”
Yes, unfortunately, she’s right.
Robbie married filmmaker Tom Ackerley two years ago, and she says the first question she’s regularly and publicly asked is about babies. “I got married and the first question in almost every interview is, ‘Babies? When are you having one?’” she says. “I’m so angry that there’s this social contract. You’re married, now have a baby. Don’t presume. I’ll do what I’m going to do.”
Raise your hand if you can relate.
And it doesn’t get any better after you actually have a child, either. My stitches weren’t even healed from delivering my daughter before friends and family members were asking when we were having “number two.”
Many people agree that asking women this question is not only old-fashioned, but insensitive. You don’t know what a couple is struggling with, be it money, indecision, or infertility — and it’s none of your goddamn business.
When people ask me why I don’t have children I stare for a moment into the middle distance and say...”I’m barren.” That usually shuts them up.— Corinne Marrinan (@MarrinanTripp) January 15, 2019
I thought this would stop for us when we had iris but now everyone wants to know what number of children we are planning on having.— Isaac Butler (@parabasis) January 15, 2019
whenever we got asked my wife would say the truth: "we've struggled with infertility for years due to my husband's brain tumor" and that would generally blunt the inquiry— Brian Padian (@brian_padian) January 16, 2019
I get asked this a lot, and it annoys me because it’s nobody’s business. My male partner never gets asked, of course. #Misogyny— Jennifer Hanson (@MissJenh) January 15, 2019
Yep. As a woman who has never wanted kids... And no I don't really want to explain why. Not their business.— scubagrrl (@scubagrrl) January 16, 2019
Amen. It's incredibly rude and potentially cruel.— Zoe Samuel (@zoe_samuel) January 17, 2019
Asking women about their plans to reproduce is not only unnecessary, but also downright rude. https://t.co/EJZc2B3uwW
— Jacqueline Simard Ireton (@jacqsays) January 17, 2019
— Kara Eliason Dorsey (@KaraEliason) January 16, 2019
Robbie says she’s just enjoying married life right now, and her career. She says she hopes to become a mom someday, but not anytime soon. She’s 28 years old, gorgeous, and talented — can’t we all just let her live?
“If I’m looking into my future 30 years from now, I want to see a big Christmas dinner with tons of kids there,” she says. “But definitely not at the moment. That’s 100 percent certain.”
Here’s the thing about asking a woman about her fertility and maternal desires — by doing so, you’re laying the burden of those two things squarely on her shoulders and hers alone. Do people realize they’re potentially being insensitive by asking such a personal question? No, most likely they don’t. They also probably don’t intend to be hurtful by asking either. But that’s the difference between intent and results, isn’t it?
And when women with a platform like Margot Robbie, or the hundreds of women responding similarly on social media tell you that you’re being hurtful — it’s your job to listen.